PS I extended the canoe part
Their walk through the woods started out quiet. Then Pippin randomly slapped Merry over the head.
"Hey! What was that for?" Merry snapped, putting his hand to the back of his head.
"You'd rather that a girl, who you hardly know, lived, than me, your best friend for years!"
"Well, I can't marry you"
"Obviously"
"You aren't gonna marry me!" MC put in, horrified at the thought.
"See! You have no chance with her, yet you'd rather she lived"
"Don't worry, Pippin." TC joined in the conversation. "I know exactly how you feel." She glared at MC again.
"What?" MC asked, clueless.
"Back on the stairs, you didn't seem at all concerned that I, your best friend, could have died at any moment had I fallen. Yet you noticed that Frodo was up there! A guy you've hardly even talked to"
"Shut up back there!" Aragorn yelled from the group. The four hobbits were silent for about five seconds, then began quarreling again.
"I mean, Merry, I'd rather you lived than TC if I had to choose"
"OH MY GOSH!" TC yelled. "No one cares if I die"
"You finally realized that?" Sam replied from up ahead.
"I care whether you die or not!" MC defended.
"You care more about Frodo"
"No! Here! Frodo, go to h-" MC stopped when a bunch of arrows were pointed at them. "Um"
Merry quickly put himself between MC and the arrow.
"These woods are perilous! We should go back!" Gimli stated.
"You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood. You cannot go back," the head elf said. Then he turned and started walking, and the rest of the Elves followed. Then Aragorn went with them and so did the rest of the Fellowship. They soon reached an elf-city with beautiful structures, which they were informed was Lothlorien.
"Are those wood?" MC asked.
"And are there any matches?" TC added. A blonde elf lady descended the stairs.
"Ten that are here yet eleven departed from Rivendell," the elf said and paused. "Gandalf has fallen into shadow"
"No, actually he fell into a bunch of fire." TC had an evil glint in her eyes. The elf introduced herself as Galadriel and began talking to them. Suddenly, MC screamed.
"Hey MC, what happened to you earlier?" TC asked her friend as they were crawling into their sleeping bags.
"Galadriel told me something"
"Uh, yeah, she told everyone"
"She told you all that I'm destined to be with Merry!" MC screamed.
"What"
"Um..." MC blushed.
"Oh, guess what I've got?" TC reached in her pockets and pulled out the tubes of hair dye she'd brought with her. TC grabbed her sword. "I knew I'd benefit from carrying these around! Come on MC, we have some work to do. Grab your sword!" TC commanded, and began walking over to the sleeping Aragorn.
The next morining, the two hobbits were awakened by several screams.
"TC!" That was Aragorn. He ran over to TC and MC. "What did you do!" He pointed to his pink, spiked hair. Legolas came in too, bald with a tuft of green hair in the middle of his head. "You!" he yelled menacingly, glaring at TC.
"What?" TC asked, faking innocence the best she could. Sam and Merry came in. Sam's hair was shaved in rows along his head, the remaining hair dyed green. Merry had horizontal rows. His hair was blue. Galadriel and some other elves ran in, also outraged. Galadriel had a purple mohawk. The other elves had other assortments of hair styles and colors.
"Uh oh," TC said, and took off. MC felt as if it would be a good idea to follow. Aragorn and Legolas told the others that they would gladly handle it by themselves. They took off after the evil hobbits and, being larger, quickly caught them.
Aragorn grabbed MC, and Legolas took TC and they carried the hobbits (who were screaming by now) to the nearby river. Merry and Pippin followed as fast as they could (Merry was not mad at MC, he felt his newly acquired hairstyle was all TC's fault, when in fact it was MC's idea to do that to Merry), but couldn't catch them before Aragorn and Legolas threw MC and TC into the middle of the river.
"We can't swim!" MC screamed as she and TC surfaced, then went back down.
Pippin and Merry jumped up and took Legolas and Aragorn down. They also were flung into the water. TC and MC had resurfaced, and discovered that the water was only waist high. Pippin and Merry flew at them and knocked them over (you can guess who landed on who). When they resurfaced, arrows began flying like no other.
"Are you trying to kill us!" TC screamed at them.
"YES!" Legolas replied, shooting another arrow. The four hobbits flung themselves down under the water. They waited for a minute, then got back up. Aragorn and Legolas were nowhere in sight. They slowly walked out of the river, and into the woods, only to be tackled me the elf and the man. Actually, TC and MC were tackled, Merry and Pippin hadn't done anything to piss either of them off.
A fist fight commenced. MC against Legolas. TC against Aragorn. MC actually surprised Legolas by dominating the fight. She pulled some karate moves on him. Eventually Legolas walked away, his head bowed in shame. Instantly, Merry was hugging MC and telling her how great she was. MC wasn't as pleased as she had been before.
Unfortunately, TC was not faring as well. She had a bloody nose, and it was clear who was winning. MC thought about helping her friend, but decided it would be more fun to watch. Of course, the inevitable occurred, and Aragorn won. He walked away proudly. TC stood up and wobbled for a second. Pippin rushed over. The four of them walked back to Lothlorien.
Galadriel insisted the Fellowship depart immediately, glaring at TC and MC as she suggested it. Quickly, she gave each a cloak, and lembas bread. Then they each got a gift (if you've read the book you know what they get). MC was given pepper spray. TC got smacked.
They set off in three canoes. Legolas and Boromir and Aragorn rowed. Somehow, they had the same arrangement as on the pass of Caradhras. TC leaned over the boat and flung water at Sam (his canoe was next to hers). He flung water back, but got Legolas instead. He used his paddle to flip water back at Sam, but got Frodo instead. This progressed until absolutely everyone was drenched (some less happy about it than others). Aragorn then demanded the water fight end. Four of the hobbits (you can figure out which ones) were sad, everyone else thanked him.
"I'm bored." TC said.
"Too bad." Legolas told her.
"What"
"TOO BAD!" Legolas repeated, louder.
"Could you...um...repeat that again"
"ARE YOU DEAF! I SAID TOO. BAD!" Legolas said the last two words incredibly slowly and loudly.
"What"
"Can you hear me"
TC gave him a blank look.
"Legolas, you're gonna have to use shorter sentences with TC" MC suggested. "Her attention span is usually non-existent"
"Okay...WHY. YOU. ASK. WHAT?" Legolas asked, but TC was now staring blankly off into space. "Oh man"
"MC STOP RIGHT NOW!" Aragorn screamed. Everyone looked over, Merry and MC were rocking their canoe back and forth. "I'm serious!" Aragorn sounded a bit scared. The canoe tipped. MC and Merry grabbed Legolas's paddle to pull themselves back up. Aragorn didn't surface.
"I'm going after him!" Boromir quickly jumped into the water, and brought the ranger to the surface. "What happened...why didn't you come back up"
"Um...I can't...er...swim." Aragorn admitted, blushing in embarrassment.
"YOU CAN'T SWIM!" Boromir shouted, astonished. "You're a ranger, and you can't swim?" Aragorn shook his head.
"These capes are so cool!" TC said excitedly, once they'd reached shore, running around in circles so the cape flew out behind her. "I'm a Caped Crusader"
"Oh dear God." Aragorn watched the hobbit run around.
"Not this again." MC stared at her friend, who finally stopped and sat down beside her, out of breath.
"You know..." TC panted, "all this seems really familiar"
"Yeah, it does"
"Wonder why"
"Deja vu"
"I don't think this whole trip has been deja vu"
"Yeah... go figure. Hey...where's Frodo"
"Good question"
"FRODO'S GONE!" MC began to despair.
"Hey...so is Boromir. We should probably go look for them." TC was acting as though it were an every day event.
"Oh my God...you're actually right!" Aragorn said, in amazement. "We'll split up into groups. Sam, come with me. Legolas, Gimli, you look in that direction." he pointed down the coast. "Merry and Pippin, you guys cover the rest"
"What about us?" MC asked.
"Stay here"
"NO"
"Yes, they might come back"
"So YOU stay here"
"No, YOU'RE staying"
"It's because we're girls, isnt it"
"Partly"
"THAT'S NOT FAIR"
"Just stay!" Before MC or TC could reply, Aragorn and the rest took off, leaving the two hobbits behind.
"Well, I'm going!" MC got up before TC could stop her. TC decided she might as well follow.
"Do you think we're lost?" TC asked after a few minutes. "We are! We should have listened to Aragorn"
"We never listened to him before, why start now"
"Because we don't know where we are this time"
"Hey, they're gonna have Merry with them, he'll probably sniff me out or something"
"He's not a dog"
"He follows me around like one"
"There's Boromir!" TC said, pointing at the man, with several arrows peircing him. "Oh God!" She and MC started running at him. Two Uruk-hai intercepted them, grabbing them and following the rest of the herd.
"Hello Pippin!" TC said brightly as the Uruk carrying him pulled up next to her.
"Hi." Pippin replied, not quite as enthusiastically. They were hanging off the Uruk-hai's backs, bound at the wrists, their arms looped over the Uruks' heads.
"MERRY!" MC, who was next to TC, screeched. The other two hobbits looked over at her. She was screaming at Merry, who was unconcious. "QUIT STALKING ME! IT'S SCARY! I ACTUALLY THOUGHT YOU WERE VERY HOTT before YOU STARTED STALKING ME! BUT NOW YOU'RE JUST SC"
"MC," TC cut her friend off. "I really don't think he cares about what you're saying right now"
"That's a first." Pippin muttered.
Merry suddenly woke up, smiling. "Was I dreaming, or did MC just call me hott"
"Yeah man!" TC yelled, "She thinks you're a sexy beast"
"NO NO NO!" MC screamed. "I said you WERE hott BEFORE you started stalking me"
Merry heard only "you" and "hott". "She thinks I'm hott!" he started bouncing around excitedly.
"Cut it out back there!" one of the Uruks yelled back to them. The leader then signalled them to stop. He smelled the air.
"I smell human...someone is on our trail!" And he signalled them all to run again, faster than before.
"Aragorn!" Pippin whispered, and began biting at the brooch on his cloak.
"Good God! Are you really THAT hungry?" TC stared at him in wonder. Pippin got the brooch off his cloak and spit it on the ground. "Right..."
The Uruks threw the hobbits on the ground.
"We ain't goin' no further 'til we've 'ad a breather!" one of them said. "And some proper meat"
"We don't 'ave any!" the leader told them.
"What about them?" another asked, looking at the hobbits. They stared back, wide-eyed.
"No! Saruman wants them alive"
"What about their legs? They don't need those"
"Yes we do!" Pippin cried out in panic.
A Uruk started to move towards them, but the leader swung his sword and knocked it's head off. "Looks like meat's back on the menu"
The four halflings watched in disgust at the display of cannaballism. While the Uruk-hai were distracted, the hobbits began crawling away. One of the Uruks caught them. He was about to say something, but was shot by an arrow and fell dead onto the ground.
The four looked over and saw men, on horseback, attacking the Uruk-hai. Pippin managed to cut his ropes on the dead Uruk's blade, then untied his companions. Quickly, they ran to the large nearby boulder and waited, under their elven cloaks (a/n-see TTT...might be in the book, not sure, i know its in the movie though).
Hours later, they decided it was safe, and looked around. The Uruk-hai were dead and burning in a pile. One of their heads was shishkabobbed on a stake, it's mouth wrenched open.
"That's lovely." TC stated sarcastically (she and Pippin did not notice that MC and Merry were not at their side anymore, they'd retreated to the other side of the rock.). They looked over and saw two horses, bearing riders, galloping towards them in the distance. When they got closer, TC and Pippin could see it was Legolas and Aragorn, and Gimli. The three riders reached them and dismounted.
"PIPPIN!" They all yelled happily.
"Great, I was afraid of this..." Legolas said.
"What?" Pippin asked.
"She's here." The elf looked at TC.
"Hey!" she replied, insulted.
"Where's Merry?" Aragorn asked.
"Um, I thought he and MC were right here." TC and Pippin looked around, but the other two hobbits were nowhere in sight. They ran over to the boulder, and found MC and Merry. TC's face paled at the sight.
"What?" Aragorn asked, he, Legolas and Gimli walked over, and saw a disturbing sight.
"OH MY GOD!" TC screamed. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" The liplocked hobbits were unaware that five others were staring at them.