The Greatest Show Ever 8
A/N: Sorry I couldn't update sooner… I guess I should explain what happened to the first kiss episode. I didn't do a separate chapter about it because I didn't want it to be overanalyzed, it would take out the magic of the moment. That's why I let them mention Jess' coming back and the kiss in the New York chapter – the moment seemed more appropriate, having a totally romantic scenery etc. Also the episodes were so linked, one resulting in the next. I'll do the same thing with the Dance Marathon and Let the games… so don't be surprised!
Also I finally discovered what Stats means lol So extra thanks for putting this story on your favorites list!
Disclaimer: I'm sure that someone from WB is going to read this disclaimer so I have only one thing to say… I own it ha! Try to sue me! Kidding kidding…
Enjoy and… feedback good, me like reviews lol
(Opening. A new narrator is sitting in his chair. He looks very elegant - Armani, nice tie - and basically out of place.)
Enter Rory and Lorelai, followed by Luke.
Rory (seeing the narrator): Another one… I'm not even surprised.
Lorelai: Number three right?
Rory (nodding): If we don't count last week's guest or you…
Lorelai: Oh right! I forgot! It was fun…
Luke: Hey Rory, where's Jess?
Rory: He said, and I quote, I will never ever be on time for this crap again. (Luke looks confused) Let's just say that being on time brought him a new friend in a form of the last week's guest… Friend in a stalkerish sense of term… Poor thing is persuaded that Jess is interested in his family stories… How did he get to this conclusion is still a mystery…
Lorelai (abruptly): A ha!
Rory: Mom?
Lorelai: Eureka!
Rory: Mom! Share your discovery…
Lorelai (proudly): I know who's behind this!
Rory: Behind what?
Lorelai: Behind this show! It's so obvious!
Luke (sighing): I'll probably regret this question… Ok so who's behind this?
Lorelai: Does the name Emily Gilmore rings any bell?
Luke: Your mother Emily Gilmore?
Rory: Grandma?
Lorelai: You know any others? Of course Emily Gilmore!
Enters Jess and immediately freezes.
Jess (to Rory): Do I have time to run or just hide?
Rory (rolling her eyes): She's not here… Mom was telling us a crazy theory, that's all.
Jess (with false interest, to Lorelai): Oh really? Tell us, the suspense is just unbearable…
Lorelai (ignoring Jess): The narrators… (in a dramatic tone) they're like the maids!
Everybody looks confused.
Lorelai: They're like my mother's maids…
Everybody keeps staring at Lorelai.
Lorelai (impatiently): They change all the time! The narrators! The maids! They never stay! It's soooo in my mother's style! Ergo she's behind this show!
Jess: Huh. What a deduction Sherlock…
Lorelai: Elementary, my dear Watson.
Rory (laughing): Mom, did you just call Jess dear?
Lorelai and Jess (simultaneously): NO!
Luke chuckles. Rory keeps laughing.
Jess: Why don't we start already… The sooner we start…
Luke:… the sooner it's over. I agree.
Narrator (suddenly): Yes. Let's start.
Lorelai (to narrator): How long are you going to stay? (beat) Do you know Emily Gilmore?
Rory: Mom! Stop with your conspiracy theory!
Narrator (to Lorelai): Only for tonight. I'm not a narrator. I'm an interpreter.
Everybody looks suspiciously.
Interpreter: They needed a Chinese interpreter.
Everybody keeps looking suspiciously.
Interpreter: Your guest is Chinese. You don't speak Chinese so I'm here to translate.
Lorelai: Chinese? Rory, any idea?
Rory shrugs.
Interpreter: The sprinkler.
Luke: The sprinkler? What sprinkler?
Rory (realizing): Oh… He had Chinese sprinklers…
Lorelai (confused): Who had Chinese sprinklers? Why Chinese? Why sprinkler?
Jess (to Lorelai): Your weird neighbor. They must be cheaper. (to Rory) Forgot to tell this story to your mother?
Rory (uncomfortably): No… it's just that… it wasn't that important…
Lorelai (pouting): You didn't tell me… And I always thought I was your favorite mother…
Rory: It wasn't a big deal… And if it's any consolation, Luke doesn't know the story either…
Lorelai: He never knows anything…
Luke: Only because I don't care!
Interpreter: I'm sorry but we really have to start. Your guest has to work tonight so we don't have much time.
Everybody silently nods.
The sprinkler says something in Chinese for a minute or two.
Interpreter keeps nodding.
Interpreter: Hello to you and to the public.
The sprinkler continues for a much longer time. He keeps talking and talking.
Interpreter still nods.
Interpreter (in a monotonous tone): I was working. I had a technical problem.
The sprinkler talks and talks. Interpreter keeps nodding.
Everybody looks expectantly.
Interpreter (still in a monotonous tone): This young man helped. He talked for a moment with the girl. He left. Another young man appeared.
The sprinkler talks more excitedly, passionately for a long time. A few minutes later he leaves.
Interpreter (in the same tone): The eternal love triangle. Tragic. I'll be late for work. Goodnight.
Luke: That's it?
Jess: That was… useless.
Luke: What a waste of time!
Lorelai (to interpreter): Are you sure that's all he said?
Rory: I feel like Bill Murray…
Jess: Well that was fun… but I got to go… Rory?
Rory: We can't just leave like this without telling the story!
Lorelai: Oh oh! Let me fill in the blanks!
Luke (exasperated): You weren't even there!
Lorelai: It's an easy guess! They're pretty predictable!
Rory and Jess (simultaneously): We're not!
Lorelai: Ok so it was like this… (in a dramatic voice) Rory had a problem with the sprinkler and then magically her monosyllabic savior appeared. He fixed it quickly so he could talk with his blue eyed beauty. (in a very low voice) Oh Rory I missed you so much… I still can't believe you kissed me and just left… (in a high pitched voice) Oh Jess I'm so sorry…but you never left my heart… (in a low voice) Oh Rory… (starts kissing her hand)
Jess: You're deranged…
Lorelai: I have another version! More like (in a high pitched voice) Jess, I'm so sorry I ignored you all summer… (in a low, annoyed voice) Whatever…
Rory: It's not what he said… It's how he said it… And the way he was looking at me…
Jess (slyly): You were in your school uniform, totally soaked… Of course I stared at you.
Rory (blushing): That's not why… (beat) You know what? You're right! I stared at you because you were soaked too… Wet hair and all… You looked cute!
Jess: Not cute.
Rory: Right forgot… Not cute (laughing) but manly. (silence) Still we had a nice moment…
Jess: Yeah… until your boyfriend announced his arrival.
Rory (sighing): Yeah… He ruined our moment…
Jess: It was a good thing… Seeing you like this, who knows what I'd do…
Luke (grimacing): Too much information…
Lorelai (sarcastically): You're such a romantic, Jess!
Jess (rolling his eyes): Whatever. (to Rory) Now can we leave?
Rory: I guess so…
They leave.
Lorelai (off screen): God I need a shower… I actually called Jess dear…
Luke (off screen): Stop being such a drama queen Lorelai…
Jess (off screen): You know you're asking for impossible, right?
Rory (off screen): Jess…
Jess (off screen): You still have this uniform Ror?
Rory (off screen): Jess!
Voices fades out.