Broken

By Neurotica

Four

Julia Sedler walked up the basement stairs of her only remaining friend's home with a sigh. She'd received the same letter from Dumbledore as Remus had just after the full moon about Black's escape, and Harry remaining safe in the hands of his relatives. She'd attempted to owl the werewolf over the last few days to check on his health, but after two days of returned letters, she decided it time to see for herself if he was still alive. She'd figured Remus would still be too weak after the full moon to run off to Surrey, but she'd obviously been wrong.

Remus had been there, she could tell; the butterbeer bottles and sandwich crumbs on the kitchen table told her that much. Maybe he was just out for a bit, she thought, hoping desperately that Remus wasn't going against Dumbledore's requests... Again.

She started to walk past the closet without another thought when she heard the unmistakable sound of an animal whimpering. She stopped in front of the door and raised an eyebrow. Had Remus gotten a dog since she'd last visited? And if so, why was it in the closet?

She reached out a hand to the doorknob and began to turn it, but before she could fully open the door, a pop sounded in the kitchen. She jumped and snapped the door shut again, turning to find Remus looking at her questioningly but amused.

"Good morning, Julia," he said. "What are you doing?"

"I was looking for you," she replied, forgetting about the sound in the closet. "I've been owling you for two bloody days and I haven't heard a word. I thought you were dead."

Remus smiled at her concern. "Not yet," he said quietly. "You've heard the news, then?"

Julia nodded and looked away from him. "Yeah, I heard," she whispered.

He seemed to decide it best to change the subject away from her ex-fiancé. "I spoke with Dumbledore last night. I'm going to be staying on Privet Drive until this is over," he said.

"What?" Julia asked with a raised eyebrow. "How'd you manage to pull that off?"

Remus grinned. "After the full moon, I went to stay with Arabella Figg."

"You... Run that by me again..."

"She was quite pleased to see me, and asked when you were coming by for a visit," he said lightly.

Julia shook her head at her best friend. "You're mad, Lupin."

"Yes, I've been told that before. Anyway, I saw your godson," he said as if that were a normal occurrence.

"You saw Harry?" she asked with a smile forming on her face.

Remus nodded. "He's got James' hair, Lily's green eyes..." he trailed off, wondering if he should continue. "He's very shy, Julia. His clothes... it looked like he was wearing potato sacks..."

She sighed. "Did he recognize you?" she whispered.

"No, I don't think so," Remus replied regretfully. "It's been almost five years; I didn't really expect him to."

"Would have been nice, though, eh?"

Remus smiled. "Yes, it would have been."

"So what's this about moving to Privet Drive?"

"Well, I convinced Dumbledore that somebody should be there if—well, if Black shows up," he finished quietly, noticing her wince at the name.

"You didn't convince Dumbledore, Remus. He wouldn't have agreed to it if he hadn't already thought of that plan," she said, ignoring Remus' last comment... mostly.

"True. Either way, I just came back here to pick up a few things and lock up—"

"Did you plan on informing me that you were leaving?" she asked, slightly threateningly.

"Eventually," Remus replied easily, not at all affected by the witch's glare. "Actually, I was going to pop over to your place. I thought you'd want to go as well. We'd be closer to Harry..."

Julia didn't need any further convincing. "I'd like that, Lupin," she smiled. "But I get the bedroom. You can sleep on the floor in the kitchen."

Remus rolled his eyes. "There are two bedrooms," he said flatly.

Julia shrugged. "You can still sleep on the floor in the kitchen. When do we leave?"

Inside the hallway closet, Sirius was still trying to get his heart to stop racing. If Remus hadn't Apparated home when he had... And was Remus flirting with Julia? Sirius bit back a growl and hoped they'd leave soon; he didn't know how much longer he could stand this closet.

Both Julia and Remus would be in Little Whinging, right next to Harry. Sirius would never get to see his godson now. He really should have had a better plan formed before leaving Azkaban. It'd only been three days, and he'd already risked being caught.

Julia sounds happy, he mused. She was laughing at something Remus said—it was music to Sirius' ears. He was tempted to burst from the closet, pull her into his arms, and apologize for every stupid thing he'd ever done in his life. Soon... he assured himself. He'd find a way to prove his innocence, and he could start his life over again.

Silence surrounded him after a while. Remus and Julia must have left. Sirius transformed and exited the closet. It looked like darkness had fallen around the cottage—how long had he been in that bloody closet? Cautiously, he walked through Remus' dark home, and left through the backdoor. He looked around the yard once more and transformed into Padfoot again, running back into the dark forest.

Remus pulled aside the curtains Julia had absolutely insisted on hanging over the living room windows of Number Nine, Privet Drive. He sat on the ledge of the window and stared down the street to the house he knew Harry to be. They were so close...

After Lily's and James' deaths, and Sirius' incarceration, Julia had gone to Dumbledore to inquire about where Harry would live. By that time, however, the fifteen-month-old had already been taken to the Dursleys.

Besides Sirius, the only person who had any legal rights to Harry's guardianship was Julia. She'd been completely overlooked when Dumbledore had made the decision on Harry's new residence, a fact she was still slightly bitter about. A few weeks after the Potters' funerals, Julia had gone back to Dumbledore, practically begging him to reconsider. He'd assured her that Harry was better off with the Dursleys; apparently, none of the Death Eaters who escaped Ministry capture could harm him while he was on Privet Drive.

This was when Remus had gone against Dumbledore's wishes. He'd gone to Privet Drive on his own and staked out the Dursleys' home. Regardless of what the Headmaster had said, Remus wanted to see Harry — he needed to see Harry. He'd even gone so far as to Disillusion himself so he could peek in through the sitting room window. For thirty minutes, he'd watched Harry sleep in a playpen that had been positioned just by his window. And then he'd left. Later that night, he'd received a letter from the Headmaster letting him know that the older wizard knew what he'd done that day, and would he please refrain from doing so in the future? It was for Harry's safety that he was on Privet Drive, and it would not do for another witch or wizard to see him wandering around there—word traveled quickly in the wizarding world, and if they were to find out where the Boy-Who-Lived was residing, Harry would never get a moment's peace. So Remus had gone back to his lonely life with Julia, wondering how the boy was.

Julia needed Remus. All she had left in the world was him, and vice versa. In a span of only a few days, the two of them had lost every person they held dear. Lily and James were betrayed by Sirius, Julia's soon-to-be-husband—they'd planned on a November wedding. Remus had lost his other best friend, Peter, at Sirius' wand. Not to mention Remus' long-time girlfriend, Naomi, informing him just after the funerals that she'd become a Death Eater. Naomi had disappeared after that night, and neither Remus nor Julia had heard from her since—not that they really wanted to. Remus and Julia had found comfort in each other's friendship over the years. Through Hogwarts, and even after, they hadn't been as close as they were now.

She'd tried to convince him a few times that Sirius never would have betrayed Lily and James, that there had to be other factors involved. Remus argued, quite logically he thought, that there could be no other explanation; Sirius was their Secret-Keeper; no one else could have told Voldemort where the Potters could be found.

Every so often, usually after a few games of Sickles (the wizard version of the American Muggle drinking game, Quarters) there'd be another argument where Remus could actually find himself believing what Julia was saying. But then sense, and a Sobering Charm, would kick in and any hope Remus had for getting his best friend back flew out the window like an express owl.

"Sickle for your thoughts, Lupin?" Julia said quietly, sitting beside him.

Remus shrugged, not answering for a few moments. "Just reliving the worst days of our lives," he said flatly.

"I've been having those same thoughts," she said, following Remus' line of sight down the street. "Do you think he'll actually come here?"

"He might." Remus sighed. "It's highly possible. According to Hagrid and Dumbledore, Sirius knows where Harry was going that night." Julia nodded, a far away look in her eyes. Remus knew that look. "You still think he's innocent," he stated. She didn't reply. He sighed again. "Julia—"

"Don't," she said quietly but firmly. "Don't do this, Remus. I know what you think, and you know what I think. Just... don't," she finished weakly.

He scooted over on the window ledge and awkwardly put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. She sniffed and laid her head on his shoulder. "I want to believe he's innocent, Julia, really I do," he whispered into her hair. "There's nothing in the world that would make me happier. But there's just so much against him..."

She nodded into his chest. "I know," she muttered, her voice muffled. "But he loved them, Remus. He loved us. I just can't see him ever doing anything to hurt any of us. Not intentionally, at least—he was kind of a moron at times." Remus chuckled quietly. Julia pulled away from him. "Think about it, Remus. He left his family because of their ties with Voldemort. He hated everything that remotely represented the Dark Side. Why would he join them?"

"I don't know," he said honestly. "But if not Sirius, then who?" Julia didn't have an answer. She stared straight ahead into the dark living room, thinking hard.

Not long after, the two friends said good night and went to their separate bedrooms. Little did they know, just outside the window they'd been sitting beside, a large black dog stood in the rose bushes, listening to what he could hear of their muffled conversation, watching their every move.