Chapter 4

Thank you to Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Slayer Forever, Bargaining, alannalovingwriter and Buffy Maniac for your reviews, hope you enjoy this chapter, please R&R.

Again, just as a reminder, italics are what the POV character is thinking.

Buffy's POV

Ow my head, god how it hurts, why does it hurt so bad, I didn't even go patro...oh god...now I remember. This is so not of the good, I have to get up, but I don't wanna move.

"Hey Buffy, it's me, I got some cold cloth for you," Willow why is she sitting on my bed?

Oh right, she putting that cloth on my head, oh that's so much better.

"And some aspirin," Ah good old dependable Willow comes through yet again.

"Willow you are a god."

"So how went the drowning of the sorrows, what exactly did you do?"

"There was alcohol and dancing...and then came more alcohol and...oh god..."

"What?"

"Uh, I actually danced on a table."

Well I just took the bottom of the barrel to a whole new level.

"Well at least there was no one you knew there, and you'll probably never see any of them again. Em Buffy?"

What now.

"Yeah Will?"

"Well, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, and I know I should have said it sooner, but I didn't, and I've been a bad friend."

Ok is this really happening or have I fallen asleep or something, oh shit, she's beginning to stare, she's waiting for an answer, I should say something.

"Thank you Will, you have no idea how much you saying that means."

"So you forgive me."

"Always. We're best friends Will, I could never stay mad at you."

Willow's POV

Ow, power grip, I forgot how binding Buffy's embraces can be.

"Buffy, oxygen becoming an issue."

"Oh, I'm sorry Will, I'm just so sorry..."

God she looks so sad and with the eyes, wait is she actually crying, maybe I should hug her again, oh I can feel her shuddering...

"Buffy, what's wrong, what's the matter, you can tell me, please, I wanna help."

"Will it hurts it just hurts so much..."

"The hangover?"

"Being here, why am I still here, it should have been me, I should've had that fucking amulet, I can't...I just can't be here anymore, just let me die, please, kill me, please..."

"Buffy."

What am I supposed to do, this is all Angel's fault, he was supposed to wear that stupid amulet wuss, and I'm pretty sure Xander's at the root of this too, stupid men, she wouldn't have any of these problems if it wasn't for men, stupid bastards, think there so great, god's gift, how can I end her suffering, well killing is out of the question, I'd do a forget spell, but she'd probably get really pissed if I did that, I'm sure there's a find your inner peace spell, somewhere, I'll need to start researching tomorrow, she shouldn't have to suffer.

"Down in the hellmouth I told him I loved him..."

"I'm so sorry Buff..."

"And you know what, he said, no you don't but thanks for saying it, I told him I loved him and he didn't believe me..."

"Buffy, I wish there was something I could do," God I wish I could tell her that everything will be ok, but I don't think I can, how can I, not when she feels like this, "Listen Buffy, I can't promise much, but I'm here for you, any time you need me, whenever you need me, whatever you want."

"Willow, can you just hold me."

"Of course."

Well there you have it another chapter down, well, I don't think chapters for this story are ever gonna be that long, but I am sorry for the lack of length, let me know what you think, until next time,

Spike-is-so-hot