"Loveable Tomorrow" A Violin Serenade by Momiji Sohma
Author's Note: Neither flame, nor mame me! If you have a problem with me addressing Momiji's longing for his mother, and you aren't as far as knowing he plays violin, and don't WANT to know…well, if you've read this far you've already received a spoiler. I enjoy constructive criticism, yet if you get too brutal, I will say so. So, enjoy my fanfiction, and oh yes, I don't own Fruits Basket. Ah yes, this is a one-shot, in a series of one-shots, where each Sohma member will have their own time to think their lives and the curse over. Momiji just happened to pop into my head as the first and most natural to me.
A haunting melody, played only by the subtle, yet passionate strings of a young violinist, floated through the halls of the Sohma Honke. If one were to walk in on the youth, they'd say he was far too mature for his age, which in some cases, he was. A child whom was forced to face sacrifice too soon, and thus hiding behind a façade of lies and as a result losing his childhood early on. Normally, he was making up for that childhood, from his appearance, straight down to the way he would play cops and robbers though he was in High School.
As he played, his mind drifted to the person he most wanted to play for. His mother. And yet, she knew him as only 'yet another Sohma family member'. Just a face. A face in a sea of endless relatives she didn't know, or didn't wish to know, and not her own son. But the boy had never blamed her, nor had he blamed Hatori for doing the deed of taking her away.
He only felt remorse that she didn't hold on. Just a bit longer, just another day where he could wake up and know she knew he existed as her son. But, he also knew, that she had rejected him long ago with her mind, body, heart, and soul. Every fiber of her being had rejected him. And yet, he still loved her. His love for her overpowered his remorse, and he always kept a smile on his face, as if nothing was wrong. But inside, a typhoon was raging inside him, urging him to tell her, to watch her, to walk beside and talk to her. for just a moment. Only a moment. That's all he wanted. One more day. One more hour. One more minute. One more second, which she knew who he was and that he loved her.
He had wanted her to hold on, be strong, yet as he played his haunting, lonely melody…he scolded himself for being selfish. He put her happiness before his own, and let her go, being content now with mere glimpses of her and his sister Momo. And as he played, he searched for and found the courage to sing the words he'd composed.
"There is a shining sunlight, sifting down through the trees
In the gaps of the trees as I look up with hope
It looked like there would be no more
good things happening in my future," he sang, as her words rang through his mind.
"My only regret…is that that…THING…ever came out of my body…""However my heart is longing and wishing to be loved
I loved you, I love you
That day and now too" he sang, bitter sorrow taking hold of his heart as his words rang inside his inner core. The song of his heart was pouring out, and all the love and sadness he'd felt was streaming out of his mouth as a few, rarely shed tears slid down his face in remembrance.
"I felt my own sorrow and became pretty
Because I know more than yesterday,
Even if you are bothered by some trouble
You smiled like its nothing," Momiji continued, remembering the way his mother now smiled politely to him, never knowing what pain that sweet, delicate German smile could cause.
"What would make you feel better?
Ah, I am powerless,
I worried, I worry,
That day and now, too," and as the words came out of his mouth and harmonized with the melody of his beloved violin, he thought of Hatori's worries of his mother remembering him and rejecting him again, hurting Momiji further. And a sad smile crept to his face as he sang on, thinking about how Hatori cared for the injured rabbit.
"The love that I have yet to see and
that appears and disappears,
I have to see and touch with my hands,
It continues, it will continue,
That day and now too," he sang slowly, his song coming to an end, as he played for a picture, an idea inspired by Tohru Honda herself, of his mother. His hope for a better tomorrow ringing through his tears and sad demeanor as his melody continued to touch the soul of any passerby whom was blessed to hear it.
"There is a loveable tomorrow,
That day and now, too…" he choked out with a smile, resting his violin tenderly in its velvet lined case, and walking to the propped up picture. He took it into his arms, holding it to his chest with a smile even as tears flowed freely down his soft, childish face. His blonde locks fell over his eyes as he looked at the picture.
"If you couldn't hold on Mama…I will. I'll love you…always. Even if you remember me again, but want to leave again…I'll love you even more. Even if I want you to stay, I'll let you go with a smile if it makes you happy…" he whispered to the photo, placing a soft kiss on its slick surface, on which held the ever still portrait of a smiling blonde woman with soft brown eyes.
To her, Momiji might have only been 'another face in the family', but to him, she was one of his dearest treasures. Though she barely registered his existence. But that need not have mattered to the 16-year-old boy, who understood things far beyond his age. Because he would stay loyal to her till the day he died, as he would stay loyal to the Jyuunishi. In his mind, it was still he whom had been the selfish one. He whom had done wrong by wanting her to hold on. Not her. She had every right to be happy in his mind. He only wished her that at least. To make up for his selfish thoughts of wanting her back, wanting to spend time with her all by himself.
One would see this child as amazing. How he could blame no one for her want, her need to forget her own child, was truly something to be admired. His only wish, the only wish besides wanting her back, was to see her happy. Even if that meant giving her up. His relentless, unwavering, innocent love for her had no rival. No other Sohma could boast not regretting letting someone go, yet Momiji felt that he had done something wrong by loving her so much, and simply wanting to be near her had pushed her away.
Where anyone else's arms would be open for their child to run into, hers were closed. When a normal mother would have stayed to protect and try for her child, she abandoned him. When a normal mother would not count her only son as 'just another face', she regarded him as nothing more than that. Yet his faith in her, and in his will to see her in passing glimpses, kept him going. Kept his soul from breaking completely, and kept himself loving her as only a child can.
Without remorse. Without a catch. Pure. Innocent. Love. It was all he knew to felt, though his heart carried a sadness that few could understand. To see someone he cared so much for, standing inches away from him. He practically radiated his love and admiration for her, and yet she isn't willing to receive it.
Momiji carefully and lovingly closed the little photo book, slid it into his pocket, and walked over to his violin case. He closed the box gingerly as he wiped his eyes dry, not wanting to damage his precious relief. His way to get away from the world. His way to get her to see him, if he became famous and world-renowned. He shut the clasps with a small 'click', and turned when he heard the slide of a paper door. Turning around, he saw Hatori himself. The doctor just looked at him seriously with the stoic, unreadable stare he gave most situations, and sighed with his hands in his pockets.
"Momiji. It's time to go to Shigure's." Hatori said, his monotone voice unwavering and commanding softly for Momiji's cooperation. The rabbit nodded and bounded happily behind Hatori, after the doctor helped him put his violin case on a high shelf, just in case. Momiji jumped around and happily trailed after him as he walked away, a cigarette once again, as always, in his mouth.
"Oh! I can't WAIT to see Tohru-chan! Oh, I wonder if anyone's visiting! Wouldn't that be great Hatori-san? Like Aya-san! Or Ritsu-san!" the energetic bunny rambled happily. Once again to his old self, his tears gone, but not forgotten, he walked with a smile to see the people he depended on. Even if they didn't know it yet. In passing, Momiji and Hatori saw Momiji's mother and Momo. All Momiji did, to Hatori's surprise, was smile and wave as he himself gave a polite nod. Momiji would endure. His faith, and his innocent love for those close to him would see that he did. One day, the bunny would surely look back without the old familiar remorse or sadness, and only look fondly and longingly on a life he could have had. Bu for now, he could be content as a child can only be, by watching, waiting, and hoping. For that was all he could truly do. Have faith in tomorrow. His lovable tomorrow.
Author's Note: That's it folks! How was it? Remember, no flames, just constructive criticism. Much obliged, and I hope you liked it. Oh yes, I don't own the song "Lovable Tomorrow". Those lyrics belong to the musical genius of the late Ritsuko Okazaki. Listen to her Faruba CD. It's truly worth it. I bid you adue all!