My Precious Shattered Mirror
Author's Note: This is the next installment in my Sohma family reflections. This is the nearly unstoppable Ayame this time around. I'll be addressing his distress at having nothing, which is his greatest fear. Mine' will probably be in here at the end, like Hatori was for Momiji. I hope you liked that one, since I worked uber hard on it. I liked my resulted work if I say so myself. I hope you think this is just as good. Enjoy, and I don't own Fruits Basket! I'm also ansering a review…my ONLY review…
From: furubafanatic749 nice...very nice...u could do yuki, tohru, kyo, hana, uo n more, can't u?UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!
…Woah. I didn't know a person could spell update that many times without messing up…smiles I commend you for your exploits!golf clap Anyways, I will be doing all of them in due time, yet Ayame(this one), Hatori, Kyo, and possibly Akito are brewing in my mind right now. But I can tell you, SHIGURE AND AKITO WILL BE LAST! I'm angry at Shigure for taking Akito to see everyone at the summer house…poor little Yuki…sniff it was so sad…I literally cried…which I do a lot with this series… brightens I really like your name! It SCREAMS "I'm a fan!" Well, on with the sadness! Wait…that came out wrong…oh well, on with the fic!
It could be said that the confidence of the young snake of the zodiac was vast, overwhelming at times. Yet, in all his splendor and his usual grace and grandevor that he strived for, his heart was one of glass. A single word could make him smile, while another word of resentment could make him fall from his pedestal on which he put himself. At the moment, Sohma Ayame was looking over his patterns for his newest creation, while thinking of his younger brother, the rat. Sohma Yuki had tried, once and only once, to depend on his elder brother, yet Ayame had turned the child away. He'd wanted nothing to do with him at the time. And ironically, when he'd never thought enough about him that he couldn't even remember Yuki's name, it was the only name that resounded in his head.
Days and nights, he would think of ways to get Yuki to come to him again, if only to have a second chance at something he'd so foolishly thrown away. His thoughts of hurt and confusion only hindered his working process, so he stopped trying to figure out both the dress pattern and his brother. He walked slowly, with a tired, sluggish demeanor about him as he went to the plush couch in his back room. He noticed a steaming cup of tea was sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch as he lay back, and he smiled to the curtain as he heard his assistants voice ring through as she greeted someone.
To busy himself, he picked up a book from underneath the couch where he hid it often. He always kept it with him, as he had a favorite poem in it. He fingered through the worn pages idly, though he had it book marked with the little handmade bookmark that Yuki had crafted when he was small. Yuki had given it to their mother, but she had idly thrown it onto a table, only to be swooped upon by Ayame, who had no interest in his brother but wanted to keep up the façade he did. But now, in all the wisdom and understanding he'd accumulated, he knew that this simple piece of paper with a little drawing made by a child's hands was a treasure that needed more respect than he could have mustered at the time.
He stroked the surface of the drawing on the bookmark. There was a squiggle with gold eyes to symbolize himself, a little gray oval with violet eyes to symbolize Yuki, and two stick figures. One each for their parents. Yuki had always sought their approval, yet Ayame had just ignored his family all together, and only spent time doing what he wanted. He was spoiled, plain and simple. His parents were always too busy scolding Yuki for some childish crime he'd committed in their minds, when it had only been a child at play. So they had no time to scold him for his much more outlandish insults to the Sohma name.
He opened the book to the page, stroking it once, taking in the worn pages that had been read so many times. He could only think of Yuki when he read this, and his heart broke every time when the words rang true, and they needen't have to if he'd only protected Yuki like a big brother should have.
Cold as Winter, strong as stone;
He faced the darkness all alone.
A silver god; a reflection.
A mirage; a recollection.
No return; nor turning back.
The past is gone, the future, black.
Serpents gather in their nest,
And he stands above the rest.
Shadows hunt; he hunts the shadow.
The moon has risen; he stands below.
He views his world through eyes of others.
Black and white; there are no colors,
As he looks down upon a shattered youth.
A shattered mirror shows a shattered truth.
Ayame reflected bitterly how true those words rang. Yuki was a shattered young man. The pain he'd gone through, being abandoned by his brother to whom he'd looked for strength and protection, being beaten and told he was nothing. Worth nothing. Having that backed up by being ignored completely to the point of oblivion, or by being hit by overbearing parents. How could Yuki forgive him for that? How could he possibly look at Ayame with anything less than contempt, and hatred for someone who'd abandoned him?
But Ayame smiled weakly to himself. Yuki still had two faces, one that most saw, and one the family and Tohru saw. But he saw color in his life now. No longer was the world black and white. Ayame smiled happily, knowing that Tohru had brought the color into Yuki's life. He was thankful; thankful that Tohru had succeeded where he did not once he'd realized the damage he'd done to Yuki. The impression he'd tainted his younger brother with. But with Tohru, Hatori, and Shigure's help and guidance, he knew that maybe one day eventually Yuki would come to enjoy his company.
He shivered. 'Anything not to be ignored…anything more than him not acknowledging I exist…like what I did to him…' he thought in fear. His deepest fear that shook him to his very core was that Yuki would reject him so completely like he'd done so many years ago. He searched for atonement constantly, yet Yuki never seemed to want any part of it. He could live with Yuki being constantly annoyed, agitated, or even hating him. As long as Yuki didn't ignore him. He didn't want to be just a specter that watched and tried to reach out to touch him, only to pass through without the slightest reaction from Yuki.
He read over the poem several times before tenderly tucking back the bookmark, and stowing the book under the couch again. By this time, his tea, as of yet untouched, was ice cold. Mine's voice was still floating through the store halls as she greeted and helped customers, and as some gave their timid requests for an outfit. He smiled slightly, as he'd always liked getting new projects that weren't planned. They were more fun to work on because most people let him use his imagination. They only gave the basic idea of the outfit.
As he got up, he realized something. Yuki and he were like one of his garments. Only they were clumsily made at the beginning and the stitches barely held them together. Yet now, the stitches on his side were very tight-knit and overbearing, while Yuki's were loose and though they were closer than the beginning, were still making it hard for them to get close at all. It was all about balance he realized. The right amount of protection, love and support; with the mix of being alone, leaving each other to do what they wished without the other, and understanding when to leave the other brother to his own devices.
"Hm. I never thought of it that way before…" Ayame mused to himself, as Mine' came into the back room. She hadn't caught what he said, she just had a happy, ecstatic expression on her features. Her braided brown hair bounced around her face as she jumped with pleasure, and her deep liquid brown eyes spoke volumes to her happiness and hope.
"BOSS! You have to come here right now! Yuki-kun is here! He came for a visit!" Mine' said happily with a small laugh. She always liked the two brothers getting together and talking. It showed that the still acknowledged each other, and quelled Ayame's fears. He nodded with much enthusiasm and went out to see Yuki. He knew they'd fight, but he could deal with that. Actually, he welcomed it with open arms. Anything from his brother was much treasured, any action, touch, and harsh word. Everything. As long as Yuki spoke to him, or listened to him. And he'd be happy to oblige, as whenever he was around Yuki he took on the phrase 'bright eyed and bushy tailed'.
He fully expected to be yelled at. But he thought to an extent he deserved it for his actions usually. Though he didn't understand why Yuki didn't like his habit of being appreciative towards a beautiful woman. He didn't see anything wrong with a little love peck. He'd have to ask Yuki this time, which would probably start off their long string of arguments. But he went out with a smile all the same. Maybe, after time, his precious shattered mirror could be fixed. He could slowly help pick up the pieces of Yuki, and help him heal as best he could.
For Yuki was just that. His precious, shattered, healing little brother. And he intended to put the pieces back right this time.
Author's note: How was it? Was it just me, or am I repetitive? I hope I didn't make anyone po'd cuz of my "clothes analogy". I just wanted to find something that Ayame could easily identify with and understand, so he could better figure out his and Yuki's relationship. I hope I did ok. Well, review me and tell me what you think! Thanks much, and constructive criticism and request for the next Sohma is largely appreciated.