River, sitting on her bunk, heard the murmurs of his mind approaching her long before she heard his actual footsteps coming for her down the hall. She had already guessed that Mal demand he thank her for forewarning the crew of Jayne's injuries, but she had in her heart been hoping the brute wouldn't actually come to her.
For now, she just wanted him to stay away. But not because she was afraid of him, although she still felt uncomfortable and confused about what had happened between them before the attack. She was frightened of what she might do…. if he tried it again.
And for all of Jayne's actions, she didn't want to…….kill..
As he suddenly jerked back the thin fabric door to her quarters however, she saw immediately that he had foreseen her mood at least, if not her exact thoughts. He stood in the doorway, his hands raised in surrender – and wearing nothing but his dirty green cargo pants and boots.
"Truce," he muttered, although she sensed it was more of a question to her rather than any sort of statement. "I thought I'd prove to you I'm gunless. There ain't nothin' on me – as you can see - so there's no reason for you to get all worked up. And I ain't comin' any closer either should you think I'm gonna start getting.. handy. Which is part of what I wanted to talk to you about. 'Cos I think you might have the wrong idea."
River looked up at him, and tried to fix her face so that it appeared calm but angry – and not, as she really felt, as fragile as glass. It helped however that she could sense he had come with mainly peace on his mind. Of course, he's really protecting himself, she thought bitterly. Afterall – he knows what I'm capable of.
But she was relieved he was at least trying to keep her ...safety catch...firmly pressed down.
She still wished he hadn't come without his shirt. He obviously hadn't thought that through, or had simply forgotten that the last time they had stood together he had approached her with a mind, perhaps, to overpowering her physically. How on earth he thought a visual reminder of his physicality would make her feel at ease, she couldn't understand. Did his insensitivity know no bounds?
His torso at least still had its wrap of bandages, which provided a modicum of decency – although much of his chest muscles and hair were well on display, as well as the red-stained tattoo on his left shoulder. Of course now she knew she could hurt him if he approached her. But the memory of the alarm she had felt when she had been unaware of her powers, and he had moved towards her, was still etched in her mind. He' d looked so - big.
However, as much as she was irritated at this thoughtlessness, she was also angry with herself. Whatever he had done – or tried to do – she knew in her heart that she had encouraged it, with her stupid Vera game. She had since spent a few hours considering why on earth she had ever tried to tease him at all, and had come to realise that it came down to one thing – because, well, she could.
She had seen him look at her a few times since she had come on board, of course. She knew she was pretty. However she had from the very beginning been intrigued by the, well - differentness of the way he looked at her, in comparison with the boys – and they had been largely boys – of her world before Serenity. He had always looked at her body with her hunger, that was both basic and impolite.
She knew she wasn't special in this – he looked similarly at Inara, Kaylee and Zoe, even when they couldn't help but notice. But his obvious admiration and need had had an impression on her. His looks had made her realise she was no longer just a girl. And like an idiot she had been seduced by what to her, seemed like a new power. So in turn, she had slowly started to explore it.She had allowed him to catch her eye. And, she had to admit it - she had started to admire his strong jawline and the rise and fall of his chest. The way he gritted his teeth when he sharpened his knives.
But mainly, she had wanted someone to notice her, like a stupid schoolgirl. And of course, he had. But she had underestimated him. She had assumed he would keep away – either because of Mal or because he would have recognised she was out of his league. Which of course she was, she reasoned.But as it had turned out, Jayne didn't play games, especially with women. She had been stupid to think he would. Now as she looked across at the mercenary, she felt a mixture of anger at him, and shame at herself.
At least he was now keeping his distance, however. It meant they could talk. Which they really needed to do. She had to know his intentions.
"Listen," said Jayne, as if reading her thoughts, "You don't need to yammer at all. How's about I just talk." He moved his head back for an instant, and looked up and down the corridor. Satisfied that no one was in hearing distance, he swivelled his head back to face hers. "Seems to me we got two issues to tackle. Number one, whether I'm a sexed up hard-head. And second, whether I'm gonna rat on you to Mal."
He continued: "Well, here's the deal. Number one. Back there. I wasn't plannin' on hurtin' you or nuthin'. I just decided to have a few words. You can't expect a man not to react when a woman strokes his very favourite gun. You just can't, well not unless they're anyone other than me. And gorram it, I am just a man. And although I think you're still a bit on the bug side of housed - you're a fine, lovely lookin' girl."
For a moment, his words hung in the air. He then continued, quickly: " If moonbrained. But anyway, I just decided to find out what exactly you want from me. I know about the shootin' lessons, but the gun-touching and the Jayne-touching is somethin' else altogether. I'm not a one for teasin'. But I do like to be…gorram it, touched."
Up until this point, Jayne had had it all planned out. He was gonna ask her outright, if she wanted him, whether she was a world-destroyin' weapon or not. If she said yes, it obviously removed the issue of him needing to keep quiet about her powers. Why would he want her off the boat if he could have her? Once again, he felt a surge of heat in his body at the thought.
However, he'd also planned for the more likely no. He would of course accept it. Afterall, he wasn't a man to pressurise. He didn't want her thinkin' he was gonna use the fact he knew about her powers as some ruttin' bargainin' tool. Nope, if that happened he would just move onto gettin' what he could out of the second issue to hand - ideally some cash from her for keepin' quiet about her killin' skills. I mean, even if she was beautiful, he had bills to pay, he reasoned.
The trouble was, he was beginnin' to flouder. Normally, Jayne had skin like an elephant. He didn't give a rat's-ass if a woman said no, as least he knew where he stood. But now, as he looked into her defiant - but strangely vulnerable - eyes, he felt, for the first time he could remember in his life -exposed.
I mean, he might not bother anyway, he told himself, what with the 10 percent and Mal an' all that. But all the same it was different thing altogether to make your own decisions that to be flatly rejected. And also, those big, conflicted eyes of hers made him question whether this was really the best time to approach the subject anyway. She had been, he considered, through a fair bit of late.
Suddenly, he decided to drop the whole subject and just use a bit of basic financial blackmail for keepin' his silence. He coughed. "So, hell, about your powers. If you want me to shut up about that, well you'll have to pay me. "Cos I don't think they'll believe anythin' you might say about me teachin' you how to shoot a gun."
Of course, Jayne had handled the situation as subtly as a brick through a glass window. To River, she had heard Jayne mention two main themes. First of all, that she was attractive. And secondly, that Jayne was aware that her powers put her at risk to the crew and wanted payment.
Jayne obviously wanted her to exchange her body for his silence. Even if she had played a few stupid games, that was a new level of depravity! She felt her stomach turn with angry disgust. Even if he hadn't meant to attack her on that dusty terraform, it made little difference. He was a filthy, traitorous animal.
She stared at him coldly. River had hoped they could be civilised. She had fully expected him to ask for money, which she would have accepted. But this was too far. Whatever he said or did now, it made no difference. She had hoped that perhaps she could have shared this knowledge with him. She had hoped he would understand how terrified she was. Through the anger, she felt a wave of loneiness pass through her at the thought. And after it, abitter wave of disappointment.
But how could a filthly animal understand human feelings, she realised, dully. She narroewed her eyes, andvowed to hit him where it hurt.
She opened her mouth.
"The lion was the king on Earth-That-Was," she began, her voice both sweet and terrible:"He thought he was beautiful muscle and mane. And it was true…. he glowed. But he never cared to hunt. He stole his meat. Sharp hungry claws and teeth - lookin' for the next dead stray."
Jaynegave a small start ofsurprise. He had expected some anger, but what was this? And what the hell was that voice..
She carried on: "He thinks he's the lord. Afterall - he survives, others die. The pattern works. But then one day - he's caught. He's in a cage. He's meant to be a prize. But the master sees him. He sees the truth. He says -this is just a hyena. His muscle and mane are nothin' but show."
She spat, bitterly: "He's just a filthy scavenger.He'll never be good enough.. for me."
After she stopped speaking, there was a long silence. Jayne looked at her blankly. But slowly, as his mind processed her words, his face began to turn. A dark shadow seemed to creep from his eyes and spread across his brow. His chest began to heave. His fists clenched.
She was indeed sweet and mean and a gorram beauty. But she was also, it turned out, a little bitch.
The truth was, of course, that her words had absolutely crushed him. Whether he had recognised it or not, he had become, in his own way, obsessed with her physically. And she had now rejected him as cruelly as he could imagine. But the worst thing was - why?
His body took over. He shook with hot, vengeful rage. He strained to stop himself from stepping up and striking her across her face. It was only the memory of what she had done to that ruttin' desert cat that stopped him.
"Okay, little girl. You wanna go?" he snarled. "When I'm done tellin' the crew about your unpredictable murderin' side I doubt Mal'd want to be within a hunnerd K of you - let alone on the same ruttin' boat."
"But you know? C'ptain's the least of your worries. Why would anyone care for a serpent that might turn round and bite. I would figure that's even a risk too much for even your precious, heroic brother. How much does he really love his l'il sister? I figure he knows he's given away enough already. So are you ready to be on your own, little girl? 'Cos when I'm done - you'll be cryin' for the blue hands to take you, you'll be so alone."
River's eyes – once so defiant – began to flicker with doubt. His words...
He stepped back and turned to go. "And you know? The truth is that I was only messin' with you anyway. You think a girl like you could ever be enough for me? I need a real woman, not some unnatural, teenage freak." And then, his final barb. "I wouldn't fuck you even out of pity."
His hand, tensing, closed over the door handle at his final words. It shattered into pieces, just as River's face collapsed.
Mal was sittin' once again in his bunk, staring morosely at the wall. Things had gone from bad to worse with Inara. He had figured she's been pleased about the trip to Persephone. It meant whe got want she wanted. But if anythin', she had seemed more enraged than ever when he told her. What the hell was that about.
However, at that exact moment, he wasn't going to get the chance to find out.Above him he heard a sudden crash of footsteps and and roar of metal, as the hatch to his room was literally pulled off its hinges. He leapt to his feet and turned in horror as Jayne, half naked, leapt down the ladder and set him with a wild look.His right hand was laid across his chest bandage, which Mal coud see, had started to bleed again. But it was his left that Mal was really worried about.
Jayne raised his left arm and pointed Vera point blank into Mal's face.
He growled: "Now , I got your attention. Now either listen to what I gotta say or I'm gonna blow a hole in your head that even that gorram Tam won't be able to patch.
"Deal, dumbass?"
