As Kaylee reached across the galley table to take some bread she flashed a worried glance across at the Captain. The whole crew was sitting around the table, eating their evening meal. As usual there was much chattering – although the empty spaces that had been Inara and Jayne's were conspicuous, she thought. Not to mention sad.
She had noticed that every time a quiet fell upon the table, Mal tried just a bit too hard to keep the conversation going. Almost as if he was trying to avoid the crew asking obvious questions like…
"So, Mal, had that big lunk left us or what?"
Wash, as ever, was first to ask the obvious. "I guess someone else was prepared to pay for the boatloads of protein he gets through in a day. I mean. Did you see that guy eat? It was like watching some giant interplanetary beast hoovering up small planets. With a bad attitude and a slightly sinister goatee."
Zoe gave a look to her husband. He looked back: "What? Can't a man celebrate the fact there'll be a marked downturn in body hair left in the shower?"
And then, worriedly, to Mal; "I meant, Jayne, of course..Inara was, erm, I mean looked…remarkably smooth."
Zoe's face darkened slightly.
Kaylee added: "Yeah, Cap'n, what's going on with River as well. She's been in her room two days – is she sick?" She glanced slightly contemptuously at Simon. "The Doc won't tell me nuthin'"
Simon flashed her a warning glare. Kaylee noted however that he also looked paler than usual. Like he'd had a shock or was ill with sumthin'. He'd certainly been hard work to get conversation out for the last day, and Kaylee bein' Kaylee she'd tried mighty hard to get him in conversation. Or anything else for that matter.
Mal looked up from his dinner and regarded the crew. They were all watching, with anticipation.
"Okay, okay," he said, finally. "The truth is that Jayne has gotten himself another job."
"Aw no!" said Kaylee. "He weren't so bad. He was kinda cute in a hat."
Book chipped in: "He also had an – original outlook that could be refreshing. "
Mal looked at them both and shook his head. Then he continued; "Well, either way, it ain't likely we'll be seein' him again too soon. And Wash, as much as I take on board your comments about Jayne's less…attractive.. attributes, whatever way you look at it he was evil with a gorram gun. So currently I have a vacancy to fill, which I guess the best place to fill it is here in Persephone. Hence the reason for stoppin' here this past week. That and the fact we really need a job."
He then gritted his teeth and continued: "And as for River, she's fine. Jus' a bit poorly on account of the latest drugs the good Doc's tryin' on her. She's be back floatin' around and chatterin' within a few days, I'm sure."
As he lied, he allowed his eyes to settle for a moment on Simon, who was staring into his food. He had had to tell the Doctor yesterday about what they thought they knew, which had been hard going. To begin with he had been unbelieving, and then afterwards ominously quiet. Being' a bright lad, he knew what both him and River were facin' on the back of it.
"Look," he had pleaded, "we don't know exactly what she's capable of. And until we do that, are you really happy asking us to leave? Because that's what you're planning, isn't it?"
Mal had raised his hands. "I don't know, son. I gotta say this one is leavin' me stumped right now."
Simon had just shaken his head and replied, in a dull voice: "If you leave us - it's going to be very hard for us to stay ahead of the Alliance."
A flash of guilt had then started knawin' at Mal's inside. He had snapped: "Yeah, well I ain't too happy about losin' ship's doctor, neither. But we jus don't know what she could do, and better lose a doctor than the whole ruttin' crew!"
But as the Captain now looked across the table, he knew he had to make a decision soon. It wasn't fair on the Tams to keep them hanging, no more than it was fair on the crew to keep them any longer at risk - if that's what River really was.
He gave himself one more week.
Later that evening, Simon sat with River on her bed and held her hand.
"Mei-mei," he said, softly. " We need to talk a little more about what we spoke about yesterday,"
River looked across at his familiar face. But instead of comfort, she had fear in her eyes.
"I know this is hard for you, " he continued. "And I wish you'd never picked up – or been given – that gun to find out this thing in the first place. But the fact is that both you and Kaylee seem to think you could be a danger. To yourself, or maybe….others. Well, if that's true, it's likely that Mal will ask us to go within the next few days. So we have to get prepared."
She looked imploringly at him. "No Simon no – two by two.."
"Ssshh, sssh. I know. But the only other option is if somehow we can find a way of proving that you're not what you seem. Or perhaps finding a way of controlling it. So, for example, if someone does hurt you accidentally you don't retaliate. "
At this point River shook her head sadly. She had already considered all of the options. There was only two - taking a risk on a life – or Simon keeping her sedated for the foreseeable future. Which would be effectively the same as taking hers.
"A matter o' life and death," she murmured, but she mimicked Jayne's inflexion. And then: "Gorram moonbrain."
Simon just looked back at her, in surprise. "Well, you don't have to worry about him now. Jayne's left the ship for good, so they'll be no more of that."
Jayne. River's mind had been so focused on Mal and Zoe's decision she had near forgotten about the mercenary. At Simon's news of his whereabouts however she suddenly realised that, after all of his threats - Jayne hadn't told Mal afterall about what he had seen.
She started slightly at the realisation, and then shook her head in confusion. But it was the perfect opportunity to get rid of us, she thought. But instead – he left?
For an instance she recalled the way he had looked that first night in the hold, with his guns strapped around him, and that defiant look in his eye. And then, in the copse, with that frightening, thrilling look of intensity. In her bunk. The light reflecting off his naked, tannedshoulders.
She felt a pang in her chest. Perhaps….she had been wrong about him, somehow?
She could almost hear the weight of his steps as she had watched him leave.
Jayne's warnings about Simon were still fresh in her mind however. And as she now looked fearfully across at her brother, she saw that he had regained that slightly greyish colour to his skin that time she had first set eyes on him after escaping the Academy. It was the colour he took on when he was worried.
"What is it, mei-mei," he asked, seeing her eyes begin to fill with tears.
"You have to go back. Back home." She murmured. "Go alone." And although she wished it for him, in her heart she longed for him to reassure her he would stay with her. Wherever she had to go.
He gripped her hand. "River. Wherever you go, I go. Whatever you are, it makes no difference. I still know that beneath it all – you're still my sister."