Disclaimer: Not Rowling, not fond of waiting. Good thing the next chapter is 'Oh Baby!' :D

Don't Call Me Daddy

Chapter 11- Waiting Game

Lorelei was overdue. She pretended that it didn't bother her, that she really hadn't fixated on a specific due date, but Severus knew that it did, and she had. As the first days of May went by, colleagues, and strangers on the street asked, "Wasn't the baby due…?" as though she could have possibly forgotten. His wife's smile had become increasingly strained, along with his temper. He'd begun scowling at anyone who dared draw their brows together while looking at her abdomen. Thankfully, he was no longer required to glare daggers at importuning persons wanting to 'touch the baby'. When an expectant mother became late, she was treated like a combustible object and admired from afar.

Standing in the doorway of their bedroom, Severus contemplated the woman lying on the bed. Since her eyes were closed, his brows drew together in consternation. Wearing only a Siren's Secret maternity bra and matching underbelly panties, her belly was stretched so tight, it was no wonder she constantly applied cream to her skin. Surely the babe was ready to be delivered. The child had no room to move. At that moment, it struck him that soon he'd have to stop thinking of the babe as the child and begin to relate to the infant as a girl or boy.

What if the infant was female? What if she was lingering in the womb because her personality leaned toward perpetual tardiness? His gaze became unfocused as an unsettling scenario sprang to mind.

He strode into his dungeon classroom and came to an abrupt halt. A girl, humming a tune he recognized as one of Gaelic Uprising's latest, was scrubbing a cauldron by hand. The Potions Master inquired sternly,

"What are you doing here young lady?"

Looking up the moment she heard his voice, the preternaturally lovely fifth year shrugged,

"Mum sent me to you to finish my detention."

She returned to scouring the cauldron, seemingly oblivious to his imperious regard. After waiting for her to elucidate for several minutes, Severus finally clipped,

"I was not apprised that you were given detention. What did you do to merit it?"

Pushing back a long spiral that had fallen into the cauldron, his daughter blew a soap bubble in his direction, smiling wryly,

"Father, you know everything that goes on at this school, so you know full well that I overslept three times this week. I got off the first two times, but Auntie Minerva said Auntie Pomona bet 10 galleons that she wouldn't give me detention, so here I am."

Declining to comment upon the ever-wagering 'Aunties', Snape flicked his finger to pop the bubble that had floated over, saying,

"That does not explain why you are here instead of in your mother's classroom."

His little siren took a deep breath and began,

"Well, I started off there, but a nice third year had detention as well…" Her smile widened reminiscently, "We got into a huge water fight." Dark eyes began to sparkle. "I was soaked to the skin." She giggled, "He stole my sponge, so I had to wrestle him down to try and get it back." Seeing his expression, the girl said defensively, "I didn't hurt him, just rubbed soap in his hair and tickled him in retaliation for tickling me. That's when Mum came back from the storage room." Rolling her eyes, she placed soapy hands on hips to declare, "She totally overreacted, I mean, Merlin, he's just a kid, we were only having fun, not…" fine eyes rolled again before she imitated, "…rolling around like otters!" Exhaling a melodramatic sigh, his daughter concluded, "Mum sent me here to prevent cradle snatching, I suppose, after drying us off."

Stygian eyes became slits,

"And the name of this boy you wrestled?"

The girl practically dove back into the cauldron; her voice muffled when she said,

"Sirius...erm...Potter."

Long black strands shook wildly as Severus cleared his mind of the distasteful vision. He heard a disconsolate sigh and watched Lorelei's fingers lift to rub what must be an itching area on taut skin. Striding to the bedside table, he lifted a jar of cream containing Vitamin E and other beneficial ingredients and removed the lid. Sitting on the bed, he began to rub the soothing lotion over his wife's abdomen. Her eyes opened and smiled into his.

"Mmm…your fingers haven't lost their magic."

A brief smile lifted the corners of his mouth,

"Perhaps I should offer a baby massage to entice our child out into the world." Leaning down to press a kiss to the sizable bump that had materialized, Snape drawled, "If a massage does not appeal, little one, consider everyone waiting for you to brighten their lives. Don't keep them, especially your parents, who are the real Father Christmas, waiting much longer." With a huff of amusement, he added, "I'd hate to deduct House points from my own child for tardiness." The protrusion disappeared. Lorelei laughed,

"Baby doesn't want you to deduct points." Her smile deepened, "Besides, babies aren't sorted, so which House could you deduct them from?"

"Gryffindor"

He continued to massage the cream into her skin while she giggled,

"Aren't you afraid of tempting fate?"

His teeth began to grind,

"Bite your tongue, woman."

Mischievously, she stuck her tongue out and playfully bit it. His hands began to roam. Levering herself up with commendable swiftness, Lorelei nipped his shoulder before kissing him soundly and murmuring,

"Why don't you give me a better use for it?"

His lips sought hers, more than willing to engage her tongue in a duel that would see them both victorious. Much later, when relaxation and the warmth of her back against his chest caused Severus' lids to become heavy, he listened to his wife's breathing deepen and slowly drifted into sleep.

The seventh year strolled into the dungeon a full quarter hour late. Severus fixed the brilliant student and chronic truant with an icy stare,

"How kind of you to join us, Mr. Snape…ten points from Slytherin… Take your seat."

Smirking unrepentantly, the unnaturally handsome youth nodded to his friends before sitting beside his potions partner. Ostensibly checking on the progress of students, the Potions Master was in actuality straining to hear what his errant son had to say.

"Did you do my prep work for me? I owe you one."

"You owe me several. Why were you late today?"

The incorrigible boy laughed,

"I was waylaid by those Hufflepuff twins. They asked me to decide which one was the best kisser."

"Well, who is it? Hilary or Hailey?"

"I declined the honor- blamed Slytherin high standards."

A bushy-haired girl at the table in front of the boys turned around to state loftily,

"Some of us are trying to concentrate on our potion, Snape. Boast about your overactive love life on your own time."

Curling his lip, the teen looked the redhead over before drawling,

"Weasley, if you're angling for a snog, do something with your hair and drop the attitude. Taking advanced potions in sixth year doesn't mean you really know it all."

Anger made freckles stand out against the girl's skin. Half turning, she tossed her last five ingredients in while sputtering,

"You are the most humongous bighead that it has ever been my displeasure to…why is my solution smoking?"

Crossing his arms, the professor watched his son gloat,

"Didn't read directions, did you? This is a medieval potion, and if you toss the last ingredients in too fast, it acts like a…"

Severus whipped out his wand to vanish the fumes, but it was too late. His son was off the stool and stalking over to the big-eyed girl.

"Athena, my goddess of wisdom and beauty, I love you. Kiss me!"

Amber eyes closed while the girl gasped,

"I shouldn't, it's not prudent…" Her eyes opened and gazed adoringly, "…but I don't care, I love you too!"

The sight of his son and the insufferable Weasley girl in a torrid embrace caused a muscle in Snape's cheek to spasm uncontrollably. He ordered,

"Cease that inappropriate display at once!"

They ignored him, using tongues in a manner that shocked and delighted their voyeuristic classmates. Physically attempting to drag the boy away from his 'love' failed as well- the girl was fastened onto him like a leech. Raising his wand in preparation to 'Stupefy', Severus froze in horror when his son pleaded while raining kisses over the Gryffindor's face,

"Run away with me, and I'll ensnare your senses in ways you've only dreamt of."

Clutching the boy's shoulders, Athena gasped, "Oh Merlin, yes, yes!"

Mind reeling at the thought, the man shouted,

"Stupefy!"

"Severus, wake up, Severus!"

Bolting upright, the wizard raked his hair back and tried to regain his composure.

"Bad dream again?"

He laughed mirthlessly,

"Yes, unless you think our son vowing undying love to the daughter of Weasley and Granger is a dream come true."

She stifled laughter. Calm once more, he arched an eyebrow,

"If you are through amusing yourself at my expense, we should get ready for our appointment."

Lorelei tried to sit up and hug him, but the babe made a full embrace impossible. She squeezed his shoulders. Against his back, the babe gave a kick. Severus acknowledged ruefully that it didn't matter if he had a boy or girl- either would no doubt give him more gray hair.

After the routine Saturday appointment, Midwitch Leach smiled and said,

"The baby's in position, all that's left is the wait."

He and his wife exchanged glances. They were weary of waiting. Penelope asked,

"Do you have the nursery set up?"

He and Lorelei traded looks once more. As the more accomplished bluffer, he replied,

"We're not quite finished."

On the way back to Hogwarts, he pointed out reasonably, when his wife stopped to stare longingly into Honeydukes' window,

"We both work, we keep busy, the nursery hasn't been a top priority."

Logic was of no use. She started to cry,

"I've not had the baby yet, and already I'm a horrible mother. The books claim that I'm supposed to want to build a nest, feather a nest, some bloody kind of nesting urge. What if our child knows the nursery isn't ready and refuses to be born because of it?"

Realizing that the reply of 'the baby knows nothing of the sort, and you're suffering from hormonal irrationality' would not be well received, Severus slipped an arm around his wife and promised,

"The moment we return, I'll round up some help, and we'll get the nursery done."

A voice behind them said,

"Professor Snape, I couldn't help but overhear. You need help with something?"

Turning to see Malfoy and the young woman who had prudently chosen not to take History of Magic this term, Severus nodded.

"Yes, we…" He broke off to frown at the young woman, "I didn't see your name on the list of students who were staying over Easter Holiday, Ms. Weasley."

Lorelei burst into a fresh round of tears,

"Oh no, I forgot to add her to the list?"

Draco looked alarmed by the display of emotion, but Ginny was unfazed,

"That's alright." She confided, "I'm ace with painting spells, never having a house elf. I'd love to help decorate the nursery." Giving her companion an adoring smile, she added, "Draco's a brilliant artist. Do you remember the Slytherin carvings that won the Great Pumpkin contest two years running? Those were his drawings."

"I remember the Celtic animals for each House!" All trace of tears gone, Lorelei enthused, "Celtic knotwork would make a perfect border around the walls, and if you could draw and paint some animals too…"

The blond hurriedly assured,

"Yes, I..." He smirked at his companion, "…and my lovely assistant, would be happy to help." Checking the time, Draco suggested, "Meet at your quarters in an hour?"

Lorelei was getting misty eyed again. Snape quickly agreed,

"That will be fine. Thank you both."

Hugging his arm after the young couple had moved on, the siren enthused,

"This is going to be so much fun!"

Several hours later, putting together the family cot Marina had inconsiderately disassembled before storing; the wizard contemplated the chaos in his quarters and grumbled to himself,

"Are we having fun yet?"

Standing in the doorway connecting the lounge and nursery, Draco replied,

"I'm enjoying myself, actually. I haven't done much drawing, between teaching, Malfoy Enterprises and…"

Severus was amused by the young man's halted speech, drawling,

"Yes, and must keep you quite busy."

Tilting his head back toward the newly painted walls in the baby's room, white-blond brows lifted and fell roguishly,

"Yes, she does." Changing the subject, he smiled, "If I do say so myself, the room is spectacular. I couldn't quite envision the Celtic knotwork border with an aquatic theme, but it works."

A final spell completed the cot. Stretching cramped muscles- baby furniture and gear required so many fiddly spells to assemble- Severus echoed,

"Aquatic theme? I thought you were painting Celtic animals?"

Grey eyes slid away from probing dark ones.

"Seals are animals, aren't they?"

Seals? In a few strides, Snape had entered the nursery. It was…enchanting. The knotwork border, the walls painted in colors of the sea, with seals swimming in the waves along with other marine life. In a far corner, Ginny and Lorelei were giggling over some painting behind the antique rocking chair. He took a closer look and demanded,

"What in Merlin's name possessed you to have that painted?"

On the side wall, where his child would stare every night before being rocked to sleep, was a painting of a mermaid sitting on a rock that jutted out of the sea. A Kraken hovered behind her. It was a good rendition of a drawing that Lorelei had confiscated from a student years ago.

"I think it's beautiful."

Sparing the sighing Ms. Weasley one warning glance, he stared pointedly at his wife, who gestured,

"Look, darling, the Mermaid's spiraled hair is now covering her…front…"

So it should. This was an innocent child's room. He shook his head,

"I will not have my child worrying that a monster is going to eat his mermaid mother."

"But Severus, the Kraken's different now!"

He stepped closer, studying the painted image. Malfoy was indeed talented. The wizard had kept the Kraken's features the same, but softened them, made it more of an interesting sea creature than a monster. Instead of looming ominously, the creature appeared to be climbing onto the rock with the suggestion of a smile. A dark brow rose,

"When our child asks what the Kraken is doing, what will you say?"

Lorelei moved closer and reached up to kiss his cheek,

"I'll say that he's going to kiss the mermaid, because he loves her." Sitting in the chair, she began to rock, "Merlin knows that painting is going to make this mermaid want to kiss her Kraken after viewing it for long periods of time."

The redhead picked up a wand lying on the dresser,

"I think I'll go give this to Draco, ask if there's any more spell work he needs to do."

She rushed out. The man looking around the transformed space said dryly,

"You've frightened that child with the mental image."

Pointing to white and red sea snakes twining together on a nearby wall, Lorelei held out a hand to be pulled out of the chair and chuckled,

"Inspired, more like." Walking to the space before the wall of seals, she spread her arms and said, "The cot goes here. What do you think?"

He smirked,

"I think you need to go swimming."

The younger couple regretfully declined the invitation to join them. Ms. Weasley's twin brothers were meeting them at the Three Broomsticks in a short while for dinner. Thanking the pair once more for sharing their talents and time, Lorelei admitted when they'd gone,

"I don't think I could bear looking like a whale in comparison to Ginny anyway. Is that vain?"

"Yes. It's also very Slytherin, which I admire."

Heading into their bedroom, his wife opened a drawer to pull out a maternity suit. She smiled ruefully,

"Black, as though the color could hope to visually diminish this belly."

Unwilling to trigger tears or anger, Snape withheld comment. He pulled on a pair of black trunks, smiling when she said,

"On you, black is sexy."

Taking an underground passage to the side of the lake inaccessible to students, they emerged onto a small, sandy beach. Spreading out a blanket, they performed warming charms and headed into the water. Severus swam parallel to his buoyant wife, eyes scanning the water. A strange bird call echoed across the lake. The wizard began to tread water. Lorelei stopped swimming and remained afloat by siren magic. She noticed his wary expression and began looking around,

"What is it? What are you…"

The giant squid burst from the water behind the woman and waggled tentacles around her. She shrieked, and then shrieked with laughter,

"Merlin, Hoggie is so mischievous! Reaching out to tap a tentacle, she scolded, "Naughty squid, scaring me like that!" Seeing his fixed stare, Lorelei swam over and wrapped her arms around him, "Were you startled too? Let me hold you up for a few moments." Sliding her lips across his cheek to his mouth, she kissed him tenderly. He repeated,

"Hoggie?"

"Oh, Harry told me that he learned the squid's name when he talked to her during that Tri-Wizard tournament. She smiled brightly, "It's like Loch Ness. They have Nessie, and Hogwarts has Hoggie."

He tried not to do it, but the emotion burst forth like the giant squid. Severus laughed until his sides hurt and he was grateful to be kept from drowning. The dark sound didn't make flocks of birds take flight, but it did startle the squid into submerging once more. Lorelei laughed to hear him laugh, asking when he could contain himself,

"What's so funny?"

Gently, he broke the news,

"Potter is only a parselmouth. He cannot communicate with squid."

"He was having me on?"

Nodding, he tried to cheer,

"You are not the first to fall for the fallacy. Malfoy did as well."

Smiling sheepishly, Lorelei said,

"It's a good story."

They returned to shore and rested awhile before returning to their quarters. At dinner that evening, Severus heard Hagrid ask Lorelei in his booming voice how she was feeling at least a dozen times. The wizard pursed his lips and shook his head upon seeing her cheerful smile. After his wife retired from the chamber, the Potions Master left as well. Hagrid followed. In the staff corridor, the half-giant rumbled,

"I thought fer sure tha' a scare by the squid would start labor. Works like a charm wi' other creatures. Right sorry, I am."

Closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, Snape exhaled slowly before saying,

"Don't apologize. I agreed to the experiment because the reasoning seemed sound. I appreciate the thought."

Shaking the enormous hand, the wizard returned to his chambers. His wife was standing in the nursery. Her eyes were large and frightened,

"This room is ready, but are we ready to be parents?"

She wanted reassurance. Thanks to Remus, he was prepared to give it,

"I don't know if we'll ever be ready." He caressed her cheek and said, "I think we'll have to trust that love, and inner strength will make us the parents our child deserves."

Taking his hand and pressing a kiss to the palm, she smiled,

"Thank you for that, and for conspiring with Hagrid to scare me into labor. I thought it might've worked, but the contractions were warm up ones, not the real thing."

"You knew?"

"Not until dinner, when you looked chagrined, and Rubeus seemed so disappointed that my water didn't break at the table."

He gave a rueful half-smile. Lorelei gave him a sultry look and pulled him through the doorway, across the lounge, and into their bedroom. Severus halted just inside. One wall had been transformed into a mirror. His wife said huskily,

"I know another way that's supposed to bring on labor."

She unbuttoned his shirt. His lips parted in a smile that was becoming less rare,

"As I demonstrated before, I'm more than willing to try anything."

A/N: Have to give overdue props for cupcakeswirl for the inspiring the baby shower betting. Should've done it last chap, but D'oh! I forgot. I'm so embarrassed! In the young Snape/Athena dream, anyone who was reminded of another scene, in Willow, is very perceptive! LOL Next chap, you find out who wins the bet, Sybil or Minerva!