The next ten or so days on the way to Montgom'ry passed in a haze.

After River had heard Jayne's words, she had been desperate to speak to him. She had assumed that he would stay. His actions had been of man who cared. So why was heset to leave?

It must be because he doesn't realise how I feel for him, she thought. So she actively sought him out. To tell him.

Yet, within a few days, it became clear - it was more. He was, she realised, actually avoiding her. When she walked in a room, he walked out. She was sure the others must have noticed, but to them, of course, nothing had ever really changed. Jayne had told them so many times what an annoyance she was to him. Why should he stop ignoring her?

But she, and of course he, knew otherwise. She had felt him on that final time together, how desperately he had clung to her. It had been partly his low emotional state. But it was also, she just knew, much more. Afterall, he had come for her, faced her, saved her. Shown her what she could do.

And those times when they were together. She knew he had never been with a woman like that. He had been with many, but she knew that he had never – engaged with a person like that before. Before, it had been two people. Seperate. But she had sensed it. When he had moved inside her, there had been less…seperateness. Like home.

River found her feelings see-sawing between anxiety, confusion, and anger. His silence of course made it even worse. That, and the fact that she had to keep her true feelings in check, even in front of Simon. He, like the rest of the crew, expected her to be happy. Afterall, had she just not found out that she could control what she was? Not to mention been saved from being locked up in a filthy cell in the dusty, barren terraform?

Finally, however, about a week out of port, she cornered him.

He had taken to doing a lot of weights again, normally at dinner times – once again, out of her way. But one evening she managed to bow out of eating before he was finished.

He was lying on his back, lifting. As a result, he failed to see her fly silently down the stairs towards him, her dress around her ankles.

As she reached the floor, he looked up. She was standing opposite, her face a mixture of rage and desperation. "Hello," she said, bitterly.

His face fell. She felt a sharp pain go through her chest.

Then he looked guiltily at her, shifted the weights back to their stand, and lifted himself up. He was wearing a red shirt which, River noticed, was straining across his chest muscles. His arms were pumped up, so she could see veins over his biceps. He also had a slight flush from exertion, which reminded her of the way he looked like he had that final time before, in his bunk. Just after he had shuddered against her, dragged his teeth and lips on her neck. And just before he had grabbed her arm, pulled him towards her with a force made of pure emotion, and kissed her so hard she had lost the feeling in her lips.

At the memory, she felt the frustration form on her features. But when she spoke again, it was with a softness that betrayed her.

"He's a feather in the wind. Soft to look at, hard to catch," she said, her voice trembling.

He briefly caught her eye, before looking away.

"I guess I ain't been too straightforward," he sighed. "I din't mean to give you a scare before, what with th'whole gun thing. But I figured you'd handle it some. Well, hoped." He glanced at her, nervously. "And you did some, too. Boy, you're sumthin'. But you're safe now, and that's the best. You're okay," he ended. But there was hesitation in his voice.

River felt the rage sweep through her. She gave a snort, and stepped forward. Then, with a passionate force, she brought the back of her hand across his face.

"I'm OKAY," she repeated. But the tone of her voice made it very clear she was very much a distance from okay. Her eyes began to fill with tears. Jayne brought his hand up to his cheek in surprise, as the smack of the blowechoed around the hold.

She then stood forward to strike him again. But as her arm swept through the air, he caught it. For a second their eyes locked, before he pulled away.

He gave her a strange look. Then, turned tail,and went to leave.

"Jayne.." She called after him, but he was already disappearing into the shadows under the stairwell. She then ran after him, and caught his arm. "Jayne," she repeated, this time with pleading in her voice.

He stopped. For an instant, he did nothing. And then he turned, suddenly, and pulled her toward him.

She was shocked at how quickly he grabbed her, and the hardness of his mouth on hers. His arms gripped her, and he pulled her toward his body. He was already hard. Instantly she felt a wave of vibration pass through her groin. She replied to his kiss, hungrily. But just as she reached down to his stomach, and began to unhitch his pants, he gave a low grunt and pushed her back.

"That's why," he rasped. "That's why. Because of that. I gotta keep my. Distance."

"But it's okay," she replied. "It's okay. You don't have to. And you can stay. There's no need for you to go." River had now opened her mouth, and the words just fell out. Just like, she noticed, they formed in her head. Things were becoming…clearer.

"I heard you talking to Mal," she continued, "But you said, time to go. But it's not. It's time to stay." And then, in a small voice: "Don't you want to stay?"

For a moment, he said nothing. But then, he let out a heavy sigh, and breathed: "I don't know."

He looked at her face, and lifted a hand. Gently, he drew his heavy fingers across her ivory cheek.

"You know, you're so gorram beautiful. And tough. Gorram, and so.. hot. But it ain't right, River. It hasn't been since we started."

She shook her head, violently, so that her long dark hair flew around her face. "Gosa," she said. What was he saying?

"Look," he said. "I can't tell you how I feel. Because there's too much else goin' on. I gotta. Sort. So forget it. Please."

She carried on looking at him, unbelieving. Jayne looked into her dark, demanding, - accusing - eyes.

He grimaced. "Don't look at me like that, y'hear? I just ain't got nuthin' to give ya. What you think you want ain't real. Or if it is, it's built on sand. So I gotta. Stay. Away." His voice had rasped with frustration.

"Do you want me to bust you up, in here?" he added, pressing his hand against his chest: "Or do you want to do it to me? 'Cos I don't want to do either. So jus' leave it alone. Whatever way you look at it. It's gonna end badly."

He breathed, and then spat out the words: "Can't you jus' pretend – it never happened?"

And then he walked away.

After that, she stayed away for a few days. But the feelings inside her began again to build. She started to check in with Wash on a regular basis. How far were they from port? Did it look as if they'd make it on time? Was there anythin' that needed sorting elsewhere…

After a day or two Wash had started to second guess her. When she put her head around the door, he lowered his plastic dinosaurs from their latest battle. "About two days. Yes we will. And no there isn't. In fact, just like what I told you – say, a HOUR ago?"

So she stopped asking, and went to her room, to think.

River was an intelligent girl. She knew that she could, given the time, take Serenity to pieces, the build her back without a screw out of place. But she had to admit, the merc had got her stumped. Here she was, she reasoned, ready and willing, a heart full of care. And him, obviously feeling similarly.

But whereas she was embracing, he was rejecting.

And it seemed, he had made his mind up. There was nothing - for all her intelligence, her power, her strength - nothing, she could do.