DISCLAIMER: ALL ChARACTERS ARE OWNED By JOSS, BTVS, and MUTANT ENEMY. ALL HAIL JOSS. SERIoUSLY. SO PLEASe doN'T SUE Me!

The Depth of Love

This fanfic is set after "The Gift". It is Spuffy. It is about Spike and Dawn's friendship growing after Buffy's death. It's about how Buffy copes after come back to life…how she slowly learns to trust Spike…and maybe even love him?

It is Dawn's POV. Dawn is more insightful in this story than she is in the show(I thought she was quite immature on the show for her age, so I tweaked her character).

originally I had in mind Buffy being jealous of spike and dawn's friendship..but I realized that's not what I was really writing about…so that summary was way off. P (woops)

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Chapter 1

I knew before all the others.

I knew that he loved her.

I could see it in his eyes every time he glanced at her – that longing, desire, and yet there was so much compassion, care. I could see that beneath all those emotions was the one thing that kept him different from Angelus and Angel...that drew me closer to him. Those things...those feelings...that he had...that no one saw in him except for me...they were pure.

Okay, so he did do bad things, and the way he told Buffy that he loved her was pretty...well, stupid, to put it bluntly. Chaining someone to the wall and telling her that if she doesn't admit that she loves you that he'll let you be killed, isn't exactly my vision of a perfect lover either. But, I saw it happen. I saw him change. I saw the way he looked at her changed. Every time he was around her, he would just try to be the best man that he could be. He would try to show her how much he did love her, and not expect anything in return. And that was when there was no difference between William and Spike.

And then she was gone. I still remember him at the tower. He wept like a man who had lost the love of his life-which was true...and I looked like a girl who had lost the love of her life-which was also true. I stood at the bottom of the stairs weeping. Everyone else just stared, their eyes wide open in shock at the dead Buffy that lay before them.

Spike was the one who rose from where he was crouching. He limped over to the body, sun blazing on him, his skin sizzling, but he didn't care. He knelt before her, and wiped his tears with his hand. With that same hand he gripped hers. It was a simple gesture. No one else got what he was doing, but I did. He was promising Buffy that he would take care of everything for her...meaning...me.

I was so touched by his gesture I lost my balance and tripped on the stairs. In an instant, two strong pale hands caught me safely. I looked up at Spike and saw the tears in his eyes. His gaze was piercing my own, and I lifted my hand and caressed his cheek, as he nuzzled his face into my hand. At that moment we knew that we both were feeling exactly the same way.

Of course, I wasn't completely alone. I knew that the scoobies were there for me. But just because they were Buffy's friends didn't automatically make them my best friends. They had their own loves, their own friends to care about. Buffy was just one of the people they loved. But for me, right then, Buffy had been my mom, Buffy had been my dad, and she had been my sister. I loved her in all three ways. I loved her more than anything in the world...she was the only one besides Mom that I truly loved...and that's how it was for Spike too.

I suddenly clutched onto him as tightly as I could and rested my head on his chest. I wanted to get away from this place, and he understood that.

He turned with me in his arms and faced the rest of them. He looked at Willow and she nodded with approval. The rest, were still out of it, not able to comprehend what had just happened. He turned and ran towards the nearest sewer entrance without looking back at Buffy. I did, I stared at her body until it was out of sight and I wept into his chest until we got to my house.

I heard him whisper in a hoarse voice, "Lil' bit, you're home."

But I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be anywhere but here.

I said "No." And that's all it took for him to start in the other direction.

As he ran I started feeling incredibly nauseous and dizzy. I let out a groan, "Spike."

I woke up being lain on the couch in his damp crypt and looked up to his blue eyes staring with concern back at me.

"Niblet." He brushed his hand past my cheek and moved it a long my hair as he wove his hands through it. He lowered his head and kissed me on my forehead as I drifted fast asleep dreaming of a place with Buffy beside me.

Of course, I woke up with out her. Empty. That's how I felt. I had been part of Buffy, and before that a ball of energy...and now without her..I was just empty. And then I came to finally recall that I was in Spike's crypt. I crept downstairs slowly and cautiously. It's not like Spike and I had been best pals. He never liked me to go down there.

As I reached the bottom, I slowly placed one foot in front of the other. It was dark, and my eyes were slowly adjusting to the lack of light. I found a torch that was lit on the side of the cave and brought it with me. I found his bed, but it hadn't been slept in. I looked over to the side and found that all her pictures and her belongings had been boxed up and kept away.

Again I felt so alone, so cold, I crept under the covers of Spike's bed. Besides, it was already getting dark and I figured that vampires didn't sleep at night. I clutched the covers tight against me and fell again into a deep sleep.

I was woke up when he called my name. It was really weird. He never called me by my name.

"Dawn...Dawn," he whispered. Suddenly impatient, he shook me and harshly stated, "Dawn!"

I woke up with a jolt. "What? ..wher..Spike? What happened?"

"It's morning. Do you want some breakfast?"

Why was he acting so normal? Like nothing had happened the day before. But some how I was oddly comforted by it, so I let it pass.

"Umm...yea."

"While rise 'n shine then. How you feelin' today?" he asked with a little more concern.

"Just peachy. "

"Another phrase like I feel like ripping the whole world apart and sending every bleeding person to hell?" he asked sincerely yet comically at the same time.

"Precisely," I answered very seriously. I suddenly looked away and I could tell he was confused. So I just said, "I'm fine...how are you doing?"

He opened his mouth to answer but all of a sudden we heard yelling. It was only Xander and Willow looking for me. "Dawn! Oh my gosh Dawn we were so scared! I thought Spike was going to bring you back home, but you weren't there and we were so scared. We went looking for you everywhere! And..."

They came over to me questioning me and trying to sooth me and it was all just too noisy. I mean couldn't have some one just told them to shut up for a second? I mean they were really nice and meant well, but I didn't need them...didn't want them right then. I looked around for Spike, but he had long ago just rolled his eyes and headed upstairs for a smoke.

Willow started, "Dawnie...why don't we take you back to your house, and I promise we'll make it comfortable for you...anything you want..and Ooh! Smoothies involved!"

I laughed a little at her lame attempt to cheer me up, but she was sweet I guess. I wasn't in the mood to argue and just headed with her and Xander. I looked back at Spike as I reluctantly headed out the door and he just nodded at me, as though acknowledging that this wasn't the last time we would be seeing each other.

And it wasn't just him who knew that for sure.

End of Chapter.

You like? Should I continue? Please r&r!