A/N: I'm not sure if I want to make it Dawn POV the whole time or not. Hope you guys are liking this story. I am really excited about it.

I didn't say this in the summary or in Ch1 but the first 3 or 4Chapters will be about Dawn and Spike, and the rest of the Scoobies about how they cope with Buffy's death.

Chapter 2

For four nights and four days I didn't eat. But really it had been two months since her death.

I would see Spike once in a while. He would come over when they had a scooby meeting.

I didn't refuse to eat on purpose, of course. I just couldn't. It was like what Anya had cried about when Mom died.

Anya :"I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, (sniffling) there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. (still teary) And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why."

Poor, naïve Anya. None of us understood it back then, and we still didn't understand it now. That five letter D-word. Death. It kills. It rips a soul from a body. And every time I thought of food I thought 'Buffy will never eat again'. It just made it so disgusting to be eating happily, while I was the one who let her die.

Willow and Tara had moved in...I guess to take care of me.

Tara would come every once in a while to check up on me. She was so kind, had been through so much (with the crazy)...again that's because of me. It was the least I could do...be nice to her. I told her kindly and politely that I didn't want anything. She's the only one I would let up to my room. The rest of them reminded me too much of her.

Xander, Willow, Tara, Girles, and Anya were there, at her funeral. I wasn't. I couldn't. I know it sounds like I'm such a bad sister. But she knew that I loved her..so much that I couldn't bear to come...alone with her friends.

Willow and Tara came back home, while I was downstairs watching TV. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was watching. Tara came kneeled before me.

"Hey sweetie? Umm...we're gonna head over to Xander's for a bit, okay? You know, just a little scooby meeting. Nothing big."

"There a new big bad?" I inquired.

"No! no..no..It's just to make up the patrolling shifts for the next week."

"Oh. Why don't I patrol?" It was the least I could do. All of this was my fault.

"No, honey. At least not yet. Let's wait a few years, okay? Oh and Spike will be watching you" she asked sweetly.

"Alrite." She started getting up to go but I stopped her.

"Tara?"

"Yea?"

"Thanks," I said with a reassuring smile.

She pushed a little with, "If you want food, there's some in the fridge."

I didn't respond.

They left as Spike arrived.

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(From "Bargaining Part 1"):

After the long conversation...

Willow says firmly, " It's time we stop talking. Tomorrow night ... we're bringing Buffy back. "

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Back at the house.

As soon as Spike entered. I felt like I could drop my act. I knew others were acting around me, and I hated when they did that.

"Hey you, " I said.

"Hey yourself."

He came over and pulled up a chair and sat across for me.

"So, what we up to tonight..without tearing the house down," he added with a smirk.

I did a little mock pout "Aww was looking forward to tearing this place apart."

"Up for some poker?"

"Hell yes."

"Hell? We do not use such bloody language in this house."

I giggled as he swore, himself.

"Don't worry Spike, your swearing rubs off on all of us. This one time Buffy came ho-"

As soon as I said her name, I knew all his attention was on me now. We were both pensive, unsure, as to how to react. We usually just didn't talk about her.

"Listen, you don't have to be here if you are bored."

"I'm not," he said, eyes staring down at the table.

"Really, I'm not the key anymore, remember?"

"I'm not gonna let you get hurt..not again."

That was it. He wasn't blaming himself for this.

"Spike," I said softly and this time he looked up at me.

I climbed on to his lap and hugged him tightly. It wasn't the first time. I had done it before. But this was the first time he had hugged me back...tightly. His head was buried in my shoulder, and all of a sudden I felt his body shake.

He was crying and it scared me.

But I didn't pull away. I realized he had been hiding it from me this whole time. Hiding the fact that he was as distraught as I was. He needed me as much as I needed him. I held him tighter as I told him that I needed him over and over again. By the time he pulled away, I had shed many tears too. I didn't let him go. I held his face and looked at him.

He had been my only family for the past two months. He had been my mom, my dad, and my brother, and my friend. I realized that I loved him. Haha! I know what you are thinking. Eww..Dawn loving Spike? But it wasn't what you are thinking. I didn't love him like how he loved Buffy. I loved him like how I loved Buffy. He stared back at me with teary eyes in wonder, as to what I wanted to look at him for.

There were so many scars on his face. They weren't noticable of course. They were internal scars. Ones that had affected him in his mind. Many from Buffy, probably, and the rest from I guess fighting other things. I began to feel tears forming in my eyes. I wanted to make every single scar away. Try to make him feel better. Like how he made me feel better all the time.

He closed his eyes, and I knew he was thinking of her…thinking of Buffy.

"I love you, Buffy," he said still crying.

"Spike, Spike." He opened his eyes and looked at me. I expected him to be disappointed that I wasn't Buffy...but he wasn't. "It's okay. I think maybe she knew you did."

His eyes still watery, he suddenly stood up and I fell off onto the ground. He began to walk towards the kitchen; I think he wanted to be anywhere but near me. He was probably a little embarrassed. "Let's just drop it," he told me.

"Spike...I love you," I blurted out. I don't know where it had come from. I hated to see him suffer. He was my only friend, my only brother, and basically now, my only family. He never told me he loved me, but I knew he did. He was just trying to keep his big bad image.

"Thank you for taking care of me. You're the brother I've never had. You're the father I've never had…" I got off the ground and walked over to where had stopped, and I stood in front of him. "And I feel like you're the only family I have left."

He looked at me in amazement. The gears in his mind turning and shifting, trying to accommodate what I had said.

For two hundred years, he had been waiting for someone to love him...whether it be friendly love or romantic love. And now he had heard it from a little girl. The kind of little girl who he used to love to eat...but this time it was different. The girl was different. He knew he loved me too.

" I love you too, Dawn," he replied as he caressed my hair and kissed my cheek.

I closed my eyes.

Someone loved me.