Dedication: This is forRealtfarraige who showed me got me addicteded; betaed the story and put up with my constant yammering (I like that word) its all on her

Disclaimer: I do not own X-men Evolution or Buffy. Nor do I own the song thats all on Alanisif I did own them I wouldn't have to borrow money from my lil sisters all the time oh well I can dream

My foundation was rocked.

My tried and true way to deal was to vanish

My departures were old

I stood in the room shaking in my boots

At that particular time love had challenged me to stay

At that particular moment I knew not to run away again

That particular month I was ready to investigate with you

At that particular time

This place was filled with so much of her life; it was hard to believe she had only spent a few years here, felt more like an eternity. She had tried to make a place for herself here but even without her mutation she always felt like she didn't fit properly, like a jigsaw piece being forced into the wrong place. Despite this she loved this place and the people, not that she ever told them. They were family and this was home, so she pushed aside her feelings of incompleteness and wariness waiting for them to dissipate, they never left and remerged with a vengeance in the wake of Apocalypse. She suppressed a shudder as she pushed the memories of that back down with the others she had stolen with her 'gift'. Se couldn't fight it anymore something was puling her and she had to find it, it was eating at her.

We thought a break would be good

For four months we sat and vacillated

We thought a small time apart

Would clear up the doubts that were abounding

At that particular time love encouraged me to wait

At that particular moment it helped me too be patient

That particular month we needed time to marinate on what us meant

At that particular time

It had been two months since she had gotten back from New Orleans after Rem…Gambit had kidnapped her. Two months and everyone was still walking on eggshells around her, as if they were just waiting for her to snap again. She had tried to deal with the whispers, the concerned stares, the conversations that stopped the minute she entered the room, but she couldn't take it anymore. Their pity was suffocating her, feeding into whatever was pulling at her, she had to get away from everything.

That was why she was creeping through the halls of the institute at three in the morning fully dressed and carrying a duffle bag slung over her shoulder. It was better this way, they would be better off without her anyway, as for herself, well she would be as she had always been, alone.

She crossed the front hall choking back tears and reached for the handle of the front door when she heard him behind her.

"Stripes?"

She should have known better really. She turned slowly tucking a lock of snow-white hair behind her ear before meeting his eyes.

"Logan."

They stood like that for a moment his eyes running over her appearance and the bag.

"You runnin?"

His voice held no accusation, she thanked god for that she could barely stand the weight of her own guilt as it was. She shot him a faint smile, a twist of her lips that never made its way to her jaded eyes before finding her voice to answer the man who was like a father to her. Rogue prayed he out of all of them he would understand.

"Yea f'now."

He raised an eyebrow at this inviting her to continue. Rogue took a shaky breath before continuing.

"Ah'm drownin here Logan. It's just too much, too much pain, too many reminders, too many voices and… ah c'n see it ya know, the fear in their eyes. They flinch any tahme Ah'm near 'em, not that Ah blame em mind, but it hurts just the same. They don' trust me. Ah need ta go an' figah out which voice is mine, figah out who Ah am again coz Ah don' know anymore." She trailed off staring at the floor unable to meet his eyes, afraid of what she might see there.

I've always wanted for you

What you've wanted for yourself And yet I wanted to save us the high water of hell

And I kept on ignoring the ambivalence you felt

And in the mean time I lost myself

In the meantime I lost myself

I'm sorry I lost myself…I am

Logan looked at her and his heart clenched for her as he heard the desperation in her voice. She had wormed her way into his heart; his favourite, a survivor, like him. All the shit in her life and it had been a lot, everything Mystique had put her through, using her manipulating her at every turn posing as her best friend. Not to mention being used as a pawn by an ancient Egyptian mutant in his plans for world domination/annihilation. On top of all that her powers trapped her in side her own skin, denied contact flesh to flesh. She had gone through all this and yet had never given up, refused all pity that came her way, refused to stop fighting. Hell he was impressed that she had lasted this long.

"C'mon." He turned and led her back through the house to the garage before stopping.

"Logan what are we doing here?"

He smirked at the faint edge of annoyance in her voice; she still had some fight left. He gestured to what finished a couple of weeks ago. Her eyes widened in shock. The black Kawasaki ninja 220 that he had bought a while back as a renovation project

"Yer more like me then ya think Stripes. It was supposed to be yer Christmas present but I'm not gonna let you hitchhike where-ever it is your going."

Rogue looked at the bike it was a thing of beauty sleek black, something she had always dreamed of one day owning. Rogue dropped her bag on the floor and did something that shocked them both and threw her arms around Logan's neck hugging him as tears flowed freely, just this once, down her face.

"Ah'll miss ya Logan"

"Me too Stripes, so will the elf and the half-pint. Take care of yourself." With that he drew back and made is way back to his rounds tossing her the keys over his shoulder. "Later Stripes."

Rogue looked at the key in her hand a small smile on her lips. "Later Logan." It was barely above a whisper but he heard it, the benefits of having advanced senses, he smirked at the unspoken promise as he heard her start the engine and drive out. She would be back.

You knew you needed more time

Time spent alone with no distraction

You felt you needed to fly

Solo and high to define what you wanted

At that particular time love encouraged me to leave

At that particular time I knew staying with you meant disserting me

That particular month was harder then you'd believe

But I still left

At that particular time

Sunnydale California – Two weeks later

A group of battered and bloodied warriors stood at the edge of the crater that occupied the space where their town had once stood, the town that had formed such a vital part of their lives for so many years.

"What do we do now Buff?"

A man in his early twenties with an eye patch over one eye spoke up, none of them took their eyes off of the crater as he posed the question to the petite blonde in front. Buffy smiled at the smoking hole that had caused them so much pain over the years. This was right, the only end that made sense.

"Yea B you're not the Chosen One anymore. You can do whatever you want"

Buffy glanced at the curvy brunette beside her and smiled, out of all of them Faith truly knew what this meant to her.

"I can feel them." Willow spoke up awe evident in her voice. "There are hundreds all over the world. We have to find them."

Buffy looked back at the crater smiling faintly. "We will Wills, we will."

With that they turned their backs on the past and made their way to the battered school bus parked a few feet off to treat their wounded. The war would be fought on their terms now.

"I still can't believe we blew up the mall."

"SHUT UP DAWNIE!"

Song is called "Particular Time" it's on the "Under Rug Swept" Album.

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