Chapter eight
There is freedom within
There is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead
Many battles are lost
But you never see the end of the road while you're traveling with me...
Keitaro rolled off his bed and pushed the "off" button on his stereo. Why was he listening to this anyway? All it ever did was make him feel worse. Hell, it did more than make him feel worse. It reminded him of Naru, and that's just about as low as he'd ever felt; thinking of her. He really missed her.
Keitaro sat up. His brain had just confirmed once again what he already knew: He really, really missed her. It had been three months since that fateful day. The day he'd woken up and realized that nothing would ever be the same again. The day Naru had told him she never wanted to see him again. The day after the craziest night of his life. He sighed, then got up and dressed in the first thing he could grab: a pair of old, ripped blue jeans and a t-shirt which proclaimed "Toudai" on the front in Kanji. It was time to immerse himself in the only thing that really brought him any comfort anymore: his work.
He gathered up his books and went downstairs to the common area. Kitsune was there already, stretched out on the couch in her usual state of semi-intoxicated relaxation, with a book and a bottle of sake near at hand. Seeing her sent him into one of his fantasies, which had grown much less pleasant since that day.
"Keitaro, can I talk to you for a moment, please?" Kitsune didn't look like she was plotting to murder him as soon as they were alone, so he went with it. He followed her into her room, walking with that same listless stride he always used now. Kitsune motioned for him to sit on the pillow in front of her bed. He did. She lay down in front of him, on the bed, and looked him straight in the eye. Neither moved, and they remained like that for a few minutes until she spoke again.
"Keitaro, Why are you doing this to yourself? Ever since N... she left, you've been burying yourself in nothing but your studies. Hell, when she left, it was summertime, and you studied twenty-four seven anyway! Why?"
"Why are you pretending to care? Didn't you want to kill me when it happened?' he looked away from her as he replied. She couldn't understand.
"Keitaro, I'm not pretending to care, I do care. I didn't want to kill you, then or now. None of us did, we were just angry, and with good reason!" Kitsune paused, then got up and sat down right in front of Keitaro, taking both his hands in hers. "Keitaro... We're worried about you. All you do is study. You barely eat or even sleep, and you haven't said one word to Motoko since that day. She's probably feeling much of the same things you are, and she won't let any of us talk to her. Couldn't you?"
"So. This is about Motoko, then. I knew it couldn't be that someone would actually be concerned about me around here. I'll be leaving, now." He rose to leave, but Kitsune stood with him and grabbed him by the arm. She shook him.
"Baka! It's about BOTH of you! You're both become so withdrawn, none of us can talk to you anymore, and we've all tried! Think. If you do, you'll remember avoiding all of us on at least two separate occasions. All I'm saying is if you talk to her, maybe both of you will start to feel better. Feelings aren't meant to be held inside like this. If Naru were here, she could—" Kitsune put a hand to her mouth. She'd uttered the N-word, something that had become something of a taboo in recent weeks.
Keitaro said nothing, but shook off her arm and walked out, trembling a little. He walked to his room and slammed the door as loud as he could. Sitting down on his bed, he said
"Hey, Keitaro, Motoko was looking for you earlier. It sounded like she has something important to tell you." Keitaro was transported instantly back to reality. Kitsune was looking at him rather strangely.
"Oh, thanks Kitsune. Do you know what it could be about?" He worded his reply carefully. He still hadn't spoken more than the necessary to Motoko since that day, and she had made no effort to correct that situation. He wondered whatever it could be about.
"No idea, but I think it's great that you two have finally decided to take me up on that offer I've been pressing on both of you." She grinned and dropped a tipsy wink. Depositing his things on the table, He walked back over to the stairs, and up to Motoko's room. He knocked on the door.
"Motoko-chan? Are you there?" No answer. He made for the stairs once more, this time heading for the roof. Sure enough, she was there. She sat in the exact same place they had been that night, three months ago now. Images of it returned to him, flooding his senses and making him feel lightheaded.
...not your dream; this is our...
...honestly didn't know what I meant...
...Keitaro-kun...
He shook his head, and walked over to where she was sitting. She spoke to him without turning around.
"Keitaro... I'm sorry that I've not spoken to you in so long. I've had to deal with so much in the way of bad feelings because of that night, I couldn't bear to face you until now. I hope you don't think me heartless." She turned to face him, her usually pale cheeks bearing a rosy tint. She walked over to him and suddenly enveloped him in a warm embrace. Running her hands up and down his back in a way that made him shiver, she continued. "There are two reasons I asked for you today. One was to tell you why I've not spoken to you in so long, and to reassure you that I stil... I still... Love... you."
"Motoko... I understand. Of course I don't think you're heartless. In fact, the things you said pretty much sum up why I've not made any moves to talk to you in these past three months. Every time I looked at you, it brought back all the pain and guilt I felt when N... when she told me she never wanted to see me again." He kissed her on the forehead, and she tilted her face to his and kissed his cheek. Their lips met in continuing their journey, and the two kissed, exploring each other's mouths with soft, wet, explorative tongues. Each closed their eyes, and the sea they'd jumped into swept them away. Lost, forever, together.
Motoko opened her eyes. She was leaning back against the railing next to the laundry hangings. Suddenly, she noticed more. It was like her senses had been sharpened. Some of her guilt, her pain, her self-torture had abated. The sun shone, full and bright, and it was like she'd never seen it before. A breeze rustled through the leaves of the surrounding trees, and she heard it for the first time. She looked at him. His eyes were still closed, and he was close enough that his breath tickled her neck. She could hear him whispering.
"...I... I love you too, Motoko," he said, "This is the first time I've felt... I don't know, right, since she left. When I'm with you, I feel invincible. I can forget anything. When I'm with you, it's like a dream. We exist in a world we create, where nobody can intrude brandishing cruel reality to wake us from our blissful slumber."
"Keitaro... That was positively poetic. Are you sure it's me that has this effect on you, or have you been into Kitsune's sake?" Motoko gently teased him, a smile playing about her lips. Keitaro let go of her and face-vaulted.
"Motoko-chan, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you just teased me. Am I doing this to you, or have you been into Aunt Haruka's Prozac?" It was Motoko's turn to face-vault.
"Haruka-san is on Prozac? What could she possibly need that for?! She's one of the most composed, sensible, responsible women I've ever met, and I can't see why she'd need something like—" She broke off to examine Keitaro's grinning face. He was having her on. "Damn you, Keitaro!" Motoko yelled in mock anger, unable to contain her giggles. "I'll not let you put one over me again! Relish your brief victory, for it will be your only one!" He reached out a hand to her, still smiling. She took it, and they embraced once more.
"Motoko-chan... I've still got one more question for you before I have to get to class."
"Certainly, Keitaro-kun, as you know I've got class too."
"What was the second thing you wanted to tell me?" This seemed to hit her somewhere she didn't want to be, and she stiffened. "Motoko-chan?"
"I'll... I'll tell you tonight, Keitaro-kun. Meet me here, at one o' clock in the morning. I can't tell you right now, we can't have this on our heads all day, not with that test you've been talking about all week happening today."
"Aiii! My test! I forgot all about it! I've got to be there a half-hour early today!" With that, he turned and ran, not even pausing to grab breakfast. Within a minute, he was out the door and down the street, clutching his books in one hand and his shoes in the other. Motoko walked slowly down the stairs to eat a light breakfast before beginning her day. She planned to enjoy it as much as she could. Tonight was not going to be a good one.
End Chapter eight
((Is everyone anxious to hear what the second thing is? I think one of my reviewers might have already guessed, and if he has, then SHHH!!! I don't want you spoiling it! :P It won't be long before my next update, I'm getting REALLY into this.
I'd like to thank HinaGuy and Dennisud for their ideas, and keitaro motoko 4 ever for his unwavering praise of my story. :D You guys are all wonderful. Review, please! You know how I love them!))
There is freedom within
There is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead
Many battles are lost
But you never see the end of the road while you're traveling with me...
Keitaro rolled off his bed and pushed the "off" button on his stereo. Why was he listening to this anyway? All it ever did was make him feel worse. Hell, it did more than make him feel worse. It reminded him of Naru, and that's just about as low as he'd ever felt; thinking of her. He really missed her.
Keitaro sat up. His brain had just confirmed once again what he already knew: He really, really missed her. It had been three months since that fateful day. The day he'd woken up and realized that nothing would ever be the same again. The day Naru had told him she never wanted to see him again. The day after the craziest night of his life. He sighed, then got up and dressed in the first thing he could grab: a pair of old, ripped blue jeans and a t-shirt which proclaimed "Toudai" on the front in Kanji. It was time to immerse himself in the only thing that really brought him any comfort anymore: his work.
He gathered up his books and went downstairs to the common area. Kitsune was there already, stretched out on the couch in her usual state of semi-intoxicated relaxation, with a book and a bottle of sake near at hand. Seeing her sent him into one of his fantasies, which had grown much less pleasant since that day.
"Keitaro, can I talk to you for a moment, please?" Kitsune didn't look like she was plotting to murder him as soon as they were alone, so he went with it. He followed her into her room, walking with that same listless stride he always used now. Kitsune motioned for him to sit on the pillow in front of her bed. He did. She lay down in front of him, on the bed, and looked him straight in the eye. Neither moved, and they remained like that for a few minutes until she spoke again.
"Keitaro, Why are you doing this to yourself? Ever since N... she left, you've been burying yourself in nothing but your studies. Hell, when she left, it was summertime, and you studied twenty-four seven anyway! Why?"
"Why are you pretending to care? Didn't you want to kill me when it happened?' he looked away from her as he replied. She couldn't understand.
"Keitaro, I'm not pretending to care, I do care. I didn't want to kill you, then or now. None of us did, we were just angry, and with good reason!" Kitsune paused, then got up and sat down right in front of Keitaro, taking both his hands in hers. "Keitaro... We're worried about you. All you do is study. You barely eat or even sleep, and you haven't said one word to Motoko since that day. She's probably feeling much of the same things you are, and she won't let any of us talk to her. Couldn't you?"
"So. This is about Motoko, then. I knew it couldn't be that someone would actually be concerned about me around here. I'll be leaving, now." He rose to leave, but Kitsune stood with him and grabbed him by the arm. She shook him.
"Baka! It's about BOTH of you! You're both become so withdrawn, none of us can talk to you anymore, and we've all tried! Think. If you do, you'll remember avoiding all of us on at least two separate occasions. All I'm saying is if you talk to her, maybe both of you will start to feel better. Feelings aren't meant to be held inside like this. If Naru were here, she could—" Kitsune put a hand to her mouth. She'd uttered the N-word, something that had become something of a taboo in recent weeks.
Keitaro said nothing, but shook off her arm and walked out, trembling a little. He walked to his room and slammed the door as loud as he could. Sitting down on his bed, he said
"Hey, Keitaro, Motoko was looking for you earlier. It sounded like she has something important to tell you." Keitaro was transported instantly back to reality. Kitsune was looking at him rather strangely.
"Oh, thanks Kitsune. Do you know what it could be about?" He worded his reply carefully. He still hadn't spoken more than the necessary to Motoko since that day, and she had made no effort to correct that situation. He wondered whatever it could be about.
"No idea, but I think it's great that you two have finally decided to take me up on that offer I've been pressing on both of you." She grinned and dropped a tipsy wink. Depositing his things on the table, He walked back over to the stairs, and up to Motoko's room. He knocked on the door.
"Motoko-chan? Are you there?" No answer. He made for the stairs once more, this time heading for the roof. Sure enough, she was there. She sat in the exact same place they had been that night, three months ago now. Images of it returned to him, flooding his senses and making him feel lightheaded.
...not your dream; this is our...
...honestly didn't know what I meant...
...Keitaro-kun...
He shook his head, and walked over to where she was sitting. She spoke to him without turning around.
"Keitaro... I'm sorry that I've not spoken to you in so long. I've had to deal with so much in the way of bad feelings because of that night, I couldn't bear to face you until now. I hope you don't think me heartless." She turned to face him, her usually pale cheeks bearing a rosy tint. She walked over to him and suddenly enveloped him in a warm embrace. Running her hands up and down his back in a way that made him shiver, she continued. "There are two reasons I asked for you today. One was to tell you why I've not spoken to you in so long, and to reassure you that I stil... I still... Love... you."
"Motoko... I understand. Of course I don't think you're heartless. In fact, the things you said pretty much sum up why I've not made any moves to talk to you in these past three months. Every time I looked at you, it brought back all the pain and guilt I felt when N... when she told me she never wanted to see me again." He kissed her on the forehead, and she tilted her face to his and kissed his cheek. Their lips met in continuing their journey, and the two kissed, exploring each other's mouths with soft, wet, explorative tongues. Each closed their eyes, and the sea they'd jumped into swept them away. Lost, forever, together.
Motoko opened her eyes. She was leaning back against the railing next to the laundry hangings. Suddenly, she noticed more. It was like her senses had been sharpened. Some of her guilt, her pain, her self-torture had abated. The sun shone, full and bright, and it was like she'd never seen it before. A breeze rustled through the leaves of the surrounding trees, and she heard it for the first time. She looked at him. His eyes were still closed, and he was close enough that his breath tickled her neck. She could hear him whispering.
"...I... I love you too, Motoko," he said, "This is the first time I've felt... I don't know, right, since she left. When I'm with you, I feel invincible. I can forget anything. When I'm with you, it's like a dream. We exist in a world we create, where nobody can intrude brandishing cruel reality to wake us from our blissful slumber."
"Keitaro... That was positively poetic. Are you sure it's me that has this effect on you, or have you been into Kitsune's sake?" Motoko gently teased him, a smile playing about her lips. Keitaro let go of her and face-vaulted.
"Motoko-chan, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you just teased me. Am I doing this to you, or have you been into Aunt Haruka's Prozac?" It was Motoko's turn to face-vault.
"Haruka-san is on Prozac? What could she possibly need that for?! She's one of the most composed, sensible, responsible women I've ever met, and I can't see why she'd need something like—" She broke off to examine Keitaro's grinning face. He was having her on. "Damn you, Keitaro!" Motoko yelled in mock anger, unable to contain her giggles. "I'll not let you put one over me again! Relish your brief victory, for it will be your only one!" He reached out a hand to her, still smiling. She took it, and they embraced once more.
"Motoko-chan... I've still got one more question for you before I have to get to class."
"Certainly, Keitaro-kun, as you know I've got class too."
"What was the second thing you wanted to tell me?" This seemed to hit her somewhere she didn't want to be, and she stiffened. "Motoko-chan?"
"I'll... I'll tell you tonight, Keitaro-kun. Meet me here, at one o' clock in the morning. I can't tell you right now, we can't have this on our heads all day, not with that test you've been talking about all week happening today."
"Aiii! My test! I forgot all about it! I've got to be there a half-hour early today!" With that, he turned and ran, not even pausing to grab breakfast. Within a minute, he was out the door and down the street, clutching his books in one hand and his shoes in the other. Motoko walked slowly down the stairs to eat a light breakfast before beginning her day. She planned to enjoy it as much as she could. Tonight was not going to be a good one.
End Chapter eight
((Is everyone anxious to hear what the second thing is? I think one of my reviewers might have already guessed, and if he has, then SHHH!!! I don't want you spoiling it! :P It won't be long before my next update, I'm getting REALLY into this.
I'd like to thank HinaGuy and Dennisud for their ideas, and keitaro motoko 4 ever for his unwavering praise of my story. :D You guys are all wonderful. Review, please! You know how I love them!))