Chapter 1
This is set during 1.21 - Love, Daisies, and Troubadours
What if Max was more than a minute late and Luke told Lorelai the real reason Rachel left...
This is my first fic, please tell me if you'd like me to continue?
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters
From the episode...
(Doorbell rings. Lorelai comes down the steps, trying to put her shoes on.)
LORELAI: You're annoyingly on time again! Ugh. Okay, stairs then shoes, stairs then shoes. (Opens front door) Oh hi.
LUKE: Hey. You're all dressed up.
LORELAI: Oh, I'm going out.
LUKE: Oh sorry. I forgot my toolbox so I just thought I'd come pick it up.
LORELAI: Oh yeah. It's right over here. Rory and I couldn't lift it or we would've brought it to you and then we got used to having it here, so we named it Bert and we'd say Goodnight Bert and it'd say Goodnight girls and we spend too much time home alone.
LUKE: Well, thanks for taking care of it.
LORELAI: Our pleasure.
LUKE: So Rachel left.
LORELAI: What!
LUKE: Last night. She left. For good.
LORELAI: Oh no, Luke I'm so sorry. What happened?
LUKE: Ah, it's hard to explain.
LORELAI: I can't believe it. I thought she was really in it for the long haul this time.
LUKE: Yeah well, she had her reasons.
LORELAI: Really? What?
An hour later.
Lorelai ran through the front door. "Rory, Rory, Rory!"
Rory ran out of her bedroom and straight into her mother. "Mom, what's wrong? Are you ok? I thought you were on a date with Max?"
"I faked a headache and came home."
"I so don't want to know why" Rory exclaimed pretending to put her hands over her ears.
"Nothing like that. I just, you are not going to believe my night. I mean this huge thing... then Max showed up... we went out... I couldn't think..." Lorelai babbled on not making a lot of sense.
Rory put her hands on her mother's shoulders "Ok mom, stop – think – take a deep breath and take it down a speed or two."
Lorelai did as she was told. She stopped looked and Rory and started to tell the story from the beginning. "Ok, I was getting ready for my date with Max and the doorbell rang. I thought it was Max but it was Luke, he came to pick up Bert."
Rory poked her head around to look at the spot where Luke's toolbox had been living. "Oh Bert's gone" She pouted.
"Rory, please Mommy needs you to focus now" Lorelai sighed.
Rory looked back at her mother "Sorry so Luke stole Bert.."
"Luke told me that Rachel left" Lorelai continued.
"Oh no, why?
"Well he said Rachel told him a few things and he realized she was right..." Lorelai stopped.
"...About?" Rory tried to coax out of her.
Lorelai started to pace "You are not going to believe this . Sit down"
"I'm fine"
Lorelai stopped pacing and looked at Rory. "Oh no, you need to be sitting for this one"
"Mom what?"
"Ok, he said that she had told him that she was leaving because Luke's heart wasn't in it because... Are you sure you don't want to sit?"
Rory sighed in frustration "MOM!"
"Ok because she realized that Luke" Lorelai stopped then whispered "Luke has a thing for me"
Rory was silent.
Lorelai looked at her daughter "See I told you needed to sit down for this"
"No, I'm just surprised that you are acting like you didn't know"
"Huh"
"Mom everyone knows Luke has a thing for you. I can see that Luke has a thing for you and I reckon Stevie Wonder can see Luke has a thing for you"
Now it was Lorelai's turn to be silent
"And" Rory continued "I think you have a thing for him too"
Lorelai looked around the room "What..ah.. um... no"
"Come on, you and Luke have been flirting for years" Rory told her mother
"What"
Rory rolled her eyes "Mom no wonder you have so much baggage you're living in denial"
"This is not the time for funnies"
"Mom!"
"Well it's the only way he'll give me lots and lots of happy coffee"
"Mom how do you feel about this" Rory asked gently
"It's Luke" Was all Lorelai could get out
"Yeah" Rory said matter of factly
"but it's Luke"
"Yes"
"Lllllllluuuuuuukkkkkkkkkeeeeeeee"
"Yes"
"but it..."
Rory put her hand up in front of Lorelai "Ok mom, saying his name over and over it's going to change it"
Lorelai began to walk towards the stairs
"Where are you going?" Rory asked
Lorelai turned around "To bed, I don't want to talk about it"
"Hey, you were the one who came running to me" Rory reminded her
Lorelai turned back towards the stairs "Well I changed my mind"
Lorelai walked up to her room and Rory went back into her bedroom. About a minute later there was a soft knock on Rory's door. Lorelai walked into her daughter's room and sits next to her on the bed. Lorelai whispers so softly Rory has to strain to hear "But it's Luke!"
Rory moves slightly on the bed and puts her arm around her mom. "Are you ok?"
"It's Luke"
Rory rolls her eyes "Ok not this again"
"Sorry"
"Come on, finish the story, what did you say to Luke and wait, you were on a date with Max what happened?" Rory suddenly had a million questions.
"I didn't have a chance to say anything. Luke told me what Rachel had said and then Max walked in for our date. Before I could say anything Luke picked up Bert and walked out. I was in shock. I don't even remember what happened next. The next thing I remember I was in Max's car and we were on our way to somewhere when I told him I wasn't feeling well and I asked him to take me home."
They both sat in silence for a moment until Rory spoke "So you and Luke"
Lorelai looked at Rory "Hey, there's no me & Luke, there's never been me & Luke I mean Luke and Me"
Rory looked at her mother "Mom, you need to stop and think about this. Luke has a thing for you, he's admitted that to you. You have to work out how you feel about that and then how you feel about Max"
Suddenly it hit her "OH my God Max, I'm with Max I can't be thinking about starting a relationship..."
Lorelai stopped as the realization of what she said hit her.
"Mom so you have been thinking about Luke"
"I need to go for a walk" was all Lorelai could get out.
"Want any company?"
"I'll be fine, thanks" and with that Lorelai walked out of Rory's room and out the front door
Chapter 2
Luke's
Back at the diner Luke had gone straight up to his apartment, he couldn't face anyone right now. So he left Caesar to it and said he'd be down to lock up later.
Luke thought back to the night's events. With Rachel's words ringing in his ears 'Don't wait too long to tell her' he mustered up enough courage to do it. He knocked on the Gilmore's front door. After a few moments Lorelai answers. She looked beautiful but then Luke always thought she looked beautiful.
LUKE: Hey. You're all dressed up.
LORELAI: Oh, I'm going out.
LUKE: Oh sorry. I forgot my toolbox so I just thought I'd come pick it up.
LORELAI: Oh yeah. It's right over here. Rory and I couldn't lift it or we would've brought it to you and then we got used to having it here, so we named it Bert and we'd say Goodnight Bert and it'd say Goodnight girls and we spend too much time home alone.
LUKE: Well, thanks for taking care of it.
LORELAI: Our pleasure.
LUKE: So Rachel left.
LORELAI: What!
LUKE: Last night. She left. For good.
LORELAI: Oh no, Luke I'm so sorry. What happened?
LUKE: Ah, it's hard to explain.
LORELAI: I can't believe it. I thought she was really in it for the long haul this time.
LUKE: Yeah well, she had her reasons.
LORELAI: Really? What?
'Come on Luke it's now or never' he thought to himself.
"Um she realized, um she said" Luke's heart was beating so fast he was sure she could hear it.
"Luke what is it" Lorelai asked
"She realized my heart wasn't in it and she was right. I um, my heart is
Somewhere else, or with someone else" Luke just stared at her
"Oh, who" "With you" Luke whispered
Lorelai just stared at him.
"Lorelai say something" Luke again whispered his plea
MAX: Hello, I tried to be late
Luke watched Max cross through the doorway and walk up to Lorelai. He kissed her cheek. This was too much for Luke. He picked up Bert and walked out without saying a word.
Now Luke was sitting in his apartment.
'Luke you are stupid, you've ruined everything' he berated himself. He looked over at the clock on the wall stood up and decided it was time foe the diner to close even though it was still early.
Chapter 3
Lorelai left her house and began to walk. Her head was all over the place, more so than usual. She wasn't walking anywhere in particular just where her feet were taking her. A million thoughts rushing through her head about Luke, Rachel, Max, Rory. Before she knew what she was doing she had pushed the door of the diner open.
"We're closed" a voice called from the storeroom
Luke was finishing off the cleaning process for the night heard a jingle of the diner door being opened. 'Great' he thought to himself, he wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone tonight. "We're closed" he shouted towards the door. He listened for a second jingle indicating the person had left but there was nothing but silence. Luke walked out into the diner where he saw her. Lorelai was just standing there staring into space.
"Hi" was all Luke could get out
"Hi" Lorelai responded
Lorelai looked at Luke for a moment then quickly turned and run out the door and into the night.
Luke just stood there. He thought about running after her, making her talk to him but he couldn't move from the stop he was standing in.
Lorelai ran all the way home and pushed open the front door. She ran straight into Rory's room finding her in bed reading. Rory looked up from her book to her mother "Hey, Are you okay?"
Lorelai didn't respond. She just paced back and forth in front of her daughter.
"Mom, what's wrong, what happened?" Rory tried again.
"I went for a walk" Lorelai managed to get out as she continued to pace.
"Yeah I know"
"I went for a walk and well I ended up at the diner" Lorelai stopped pacing and faced her daughter. "I don't know how I ended up there, obviously my body wanted coffee"
"Did you see Luke?" "OH yeah I saw Luke" Lorelai started pacing again
"Mom!"
Lorelai stopped again. "I walked in saw him and I just couldn't. I didn't know why I as there, I didn't know what to say. I mean me, me Lorelai Gilmore, I always know what to say but tonight, tonight no, I just didn't" Lorelai rambled on without taking a breath.
"Oh mom"
Lorelai continued rambling "And then there's Max. I mean I'm with Max. I mean Max, your teacher, the man who teaches you things. Max, Max is a good man, we've been dating and now, well, are we still dating, is he the one, what is the one really I mean..."
"Mom" Rory interrupted her mother. "Mom calm down you're starting to scare me"
"Calm down, Mommy can't calm down. I don't think you understand there are so many things to consider I mean there's Max and Luke and this town and you. Oh my god Rory, you I didn't think about you. What do you think about all this, what do you think I should do."
"Mom, look this isn't a decision I can make for you. You need to sit down and think about what you want. I like Max and I like Luke you know that. Either way I just want you to be happy." Rory looked at her mother "and to start breathing normally"
Lorelai took a deep breath "Thanks sweets" Lorelai hugged her daughter "I'm going to go to bed"
Lorelai started to walk out of her daughter's room.
"Hey Mom, maybe you should try the pro-con list" Rory suggested to lighten the mood. "It's worked well for us so far"
Lorelai smi
led and continued to walk to her room.
Chapter 4
Rory woke the next morning and headed into the kitten to find Lorelai already up and sitting at the table with a pile of paper, pens and screwed up notes all around her.
"Mom you look terrible" Rory commented looking at the dark circles under her mothers eyes
"And a lovely good morning to you too. You'd look like this if you'd been up all night"
Rory was suddenly pulled out of her sleepy state as she remembered about the night before "Oh mom I'm sorry" She walked over and put her arms around Lorelai. Noticing the piles of screwed up paper around "What are you doing?"
"Well I couldn't sleep so I decided maybe I should do a pro/con list. I started a list, I started lots of lists but it's not fair I mean these are real people with real feelings. Is it right to make a list about them. It's not, I'm not going to do it" Lorelai started her rant.
As Lorelai was rambling Rory bent down and picked up a ball of paper from the floor. She pulled it open and read it. Rory then walked around the other side of the table where there were more paper balls. She picked up two more and again opened them and read them.
Lorelai was still babbling on when Rory stopped her "Mom"
Lorelai looked up at her daughter.
"Mom look at these" Rory flattened out the pieces of paper and put them in front of Lorelai. "Mom read what you have written"
"I know what I've written I don't need to read it" Lorelai turned her head in the other direction.
Rory tried again. "I think you do. I think you really need to have a look at these lists, a real good look"
Lorelai slowly turned her head back and took a quick glance at the paper "Yeah, I'm looking." So?"
"Mom, look under Max's name" Rory pointed to the list "You have written lots of things under each list, - pros and cons"
"Yeah"
"And under Luke's?" Rory asked pointing to the other name on the page
"See it's not fair to do lists about people" Lorelai turned her head again.
"Mom, you have a million pro's for Luke. Look on every piece of paper you've written there are lines and lines of pro's for Luke and on some pages, different ones."
"There are con's too"
Rory pointed to the con column "Yeah one. He's your best friend"
"Well... he is"
"Mom, what do you mean. Why is that a con?" Rory Questioned
"It's not, well it is... it's ... it's Luke" Lorelai wasn't really sure herself
Rory rolled her eyes "Mom, please not this again"
"I mean it's Luke. Our Luke, the town Luke, my Luke."
"Mom, I'm sorry I still don't understand"
Lorelai thought for a moment "Rory, Luke is, he's just Luke, he's my rock. He's always there. I know I can count on him for anything. He's the only man in my life I can count on to always be there for me."
"Exactly" Rory exclaimed still not quite sure what Lorelai was getting at.
"No, if I , If I date Luke and I screw it up then he will be gone too. He'll be gone like the rest of the men in my life and I couldn't bear for that to happen. I can't loose someone I ..." Lorelai trailed off.
"Oh" Rory suddenly understood where her mother was coming from. "But mom, what if this does work out. What if Luke is the one and you don't break up. Then he'll always be around and it will be a million times better"
Lorelai was silent for a moment "What... what about Max"
"I don't know, do you love Max?" Rory questioned
"I don't know honey, I really don't know" Lorelai could feel tears forming. "I don't think I do"
Rory then asked "You love Luke don't you"
In a whisper and without looking at her daughter Lorelai responded "I think ...I... might"
Rory put her arms around her mom again. "I think you need to talk to Luke. Tell him how you feel."
Lorelai was silent for a moment. "No I have to talk to Max first"
Chapter 5
The next afternoon Rory returned home from school to find Lorelai sitting in the kitchen holding a cup of coffee starring into space.
"Mom" Rory called softly.
Lorelai shook her head slightly and looked at her daughter "Oh... hi"
"Why aren't you at work?" Rory questioned
Lorelai shrugged "Didn't feel up to it today"
"Mom are you ok? Did you talk to Max?" Rory questioned
Lorelai sighed "I went to see him today"
"What, when? I thought you were going to just ring him" Rory asked in shock
"I was but then I was thinking about it. I had to be sure. I rang him and met him during the lunch break. I wanted to see him. I needed to make sure what I was doing was...I don't know"
"And?" Rory asked
"...And I met him and told him I couldn't do this anymore. I didn't want to sneak around, I'm your mother and he's your teacher and it's just not right and that I didn't think we'd work"
"Oh Mom"
"He looked shock. He said we could work, he tried to convince me that we didn't need to sneak around. He suggested..." Lorelai paused.
Lorelai put her head in her hands for a second then looked back at her daughter "He said we should get married then we wouldn't have to sneak around"
"What!" Rory wasn't sure she had heard correctly
"I know, I didn't know what to do, my jaw hit the ground. He kept going on about how we were right and if we got married it would solve our problems. I didn't know what to do. I mean as soon as I saw him today I knew I was doing the right thing. I don't love Max but I was trying to spare his feelings so I told him it was just too difficult and then he just hits me with that."
Rory was speechless, she wasn't quite sure what to say. "What did you say?"
"I didn't know what to say I mean I didn't expect him to propose and besides that's not how you ask someone to marry you I mean I'm telling him this isn't going to work so he proposes I... how does a person decided to propose under those circumstances" Lorelai rambled
Rory thought for a second "He really likes you Mom"
"In know and I let him down as softly as I could. I told him it wasn't going to work and that I just didn't feel that way about him. It was horrible. He looked so sad. I felt so bad" Lorelai put her head back in her hands.
Rory got up and walked over to her mother and put her arms around her. "I'm sorry"
"Oh Honey, don't apologize It's not your fault. I'm just so sorry I got involved with your teacher. I mean you have to see him and talk to him and I've made it so difficult for you." Lorelai said hugging Rory back
"Mom it's ok. I wouldn't want you to stay with him just to make life easier for me. It'll be ok" Rory tried to comfort her mother.
Rory continued to hug her mother for a few more moments before asking about Luke. "So...have you spoken to Luke?"
Lorelai answered quickly "No I can't"
"What do you mean?" Rory tried to understand
Lorelai shook her head "I mean I can't Rory. This thing with Max has made me realize that I can't keep doing this. I mean Luke is in your life too and if things don't work it'll be just like with Max all over again. It will affect you and... it will affect me. I don't want to loose Luke as a friend."
"Mom we went over this, it might to be like Max, it might work with Luke. You...you said you love Luke"
"Yeah and I want him to be in my life and I'm not going to risk that" Lorelai stopped then added "and risk the fact that if something goes wrong then there'll be no more Luke's coffee either."
"Have you been to the diner in the last few days?" Rory asked
"NO I can't, I can't go in there" Lorelai shook her head.
"Exactly, either way there's no more Luke's coffee... Mom you have to be true to yourself" Rory tried to reason with her mother
"Rory one day you'll understand. I just can't do this." Lorelai stood up "I'm going up upstairs for a bit"
Lorelai went up to her room and Rory retreated into her bedroom to start on her homework.
Chapter 6
The next morning Lorelai woke late after having a restless nights sleep. She phoned Sookie to tell her she wouldn't be in to work again today. Lorelai trudged down the stairs and into Rory's room to make sure she had gone off to school ok. After checking her room she made her way to the kitchen to figure out what she was going to have for breakfast. Lorelai was about to put her pop tart in the toaster when there was a soft knock at the door. The knock was so soft she wasn't sure if she really heard it or it was her mind playing tricks on her so she slowly dragged herself through in the hall and to the front door. When Lorelai opened the door there was no one there. She was about to shut it again when she noticed out of the corner of her eye a brown paper bag sitting on the doormat. Lorelai picked it up took another quick look around and headed inside. Once in the kitchen she placed the bag on the table and looked at it for a while contemplating whether she should open it and trying to guess what was in it. Eventually she decided to open the bag and inside she found a takeaway cup of coffee, a Danish and a blueberry muffin. She pulled the coffee cup out first and smelled the familiar smell of Luke's coffee that she had missed so much. She took a long sip and instantly felt better. She pulled out the Danish and the muffin and then noticed a piece of paper at the bottom of the bag. She took the paper out of the bag and sat down at the table with her coffee and breakfast treats.
When Lorelai had finished her surprise breakfast she looked again at the piece of folded paper that had been staring at her while she ate. She took a deep breath, opened it and read.
Lorelai,
I don't know where to begin. I'm sorry for what I said. I shouldn't of told you what Rachel said and I shouldn't have blurted it out when I knew you were seeing someone. I shouldn't of tried to change this between us and well... I'm sorry.
Basically, I miss you, I miss you here as a friend and when you feel you can, I'd like you to come back to the diner so we can talk about this.
If it's what you want, I'd like to go back to the way things were - you nagging me for coffee me trying to slip you decaf.
I hope the contents of the bag will tie you over for now.
Luke
Lorelai sighed. She read the note over and over and each time she felt something tighten in her throat. It was when she read that Luke wanted things to back to the way they were that she finally realized that she didn't. She couldn't live with just being friends with Luke anymore. She wanted something more and she had to tell him.
Chapter 7
After her decision was made Lorelai ran upstairs, had a shower, did her hair and make-up and was now standing in front of the contents of her wardrobe piled high on her bed. She'd never had trouble deciding what to wear to the diner before but today nothing seemed right. She wanted to look perfect. Finally after sifting through the pile for about the tenth time she settled on her favorite jeans and a cute little red top. She took one last look at herself in the mirror and made her way downstairs and out the front door. The walk to the diner was done in record speed. She reached her hand to the door then froze. She pulled her hand back and walked to the side of he diner so she was out of site to everyone inside. As she leaned against the wall she whisper to herself "Get a grip".
Lorelai pulled out her cell phone and hit the speed dial and waited for an answer.
"Hello"
"Hey Hon"
"Mom what's wrong, I'm just about to go back into class"
"I didn't think this through" Lorelai blurted out
"What through?"
Lorelai began to ramble "This... me, after the coffee and the note and the decision. I mean, I wasn't thinking I just...I'm here and my heart is racing and what am I going to do? Just walk inside and suck his face off?"
Rory made a face "Mom...slow down and please don't ever say that last part again. Way too much information. Now what are you talking about"
Lorelai took a deep breath and aware that her daughter was meant to be in class shortly made it quick "This morning after you left I found a bag on the front porch. It was from Luke it had coffee and a note. He said he was sorry and he wanted to go back to the way things were before and that's when I released I didn't. So after making myself beautiful I ran to the diner without really thinking this through and now I'm hiding around the corner. I don't know, I can't"
"Oh Mom, just walk in there, talk to him. Order coffee, you like coffee and I'm sure once you have your liquid oxygen everything will work out, just remember It's just Luke."
Lorelai took another deep breath "Thanks hon. OK I'm going in"
"Good Luck"
And with that Lorelai hung up the phone and began her work to the diner door.