Tapan: my neck hurts and so does my left hand/pouts/

Torna: awww, poor baby, maybe you should take a nap and let mommy kiss it better…

Tapan/cute eyes/ gee Torna. Ya mean that?

Torna: of course not! Now quit complaining and do the fic!

Tapan: slave driver…/pain forgotten momentarily/ any way, here's chaptie three of my action packed, slasherific, Zim story. AW YEAH!

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim and if I did, the show wouldn't be the way it is today. Therefore it would've sucked and stopped playing after the fifth episode, just like the butt ugly Martians! (How long was that on for anyway?)

Warning: slash! And you know what, if you wanna flame it for that reason, go right ahead! Yes I care for my fics; I just really like a good laugh.

After an hour's search through the house, Dib finally found a very human-looking bathroom. In it was a giant tub and shower, which he found weird. What made it even weirder was the half empty bottle of coconut scented shampoo and the used bar of soap.

Trying not to think about it too hard, Dib stripped, turned the shower on and got in. as he let the water run down his thin form, his thoughts wandered to past events. This new dimension was almost exactly like his own, but Deb and Tam acted so different in comparison to him and Zim.

/speaking of Zim, what was with the little fight downstairs/ He thought back to GIR's reaction to their situation. Granted, the little robot was insane, but he did see the position as some other activity and ran out of the room as if he'd experienced it before. /I guess it did look wrong. And Zim was very quick to jump away…/ before he could stop himself, Dib's inner pervert took over. /I wonder what that would be like. /

After a moment of perverted teenage thought, Dib felt a … certain area grow.

"Oh SHIT!" As if someone was watching, he covered himself, blushing. "NO! BAD!" in order to get out of his. Ahem. Current state, he resorted to drastic measures. /Mrs. Bitters naked, Mrs. Bitters naked, Mrs. Bitters naked…/ after that thought, Dib found not only was he no longer aroused, he was also a little queasy.

Sighing, Dib looked up into the water, the drops working their way through his black hair. "This isn't happening…"

((Tam's Base: Living Room))

"You wanna watch this?" click. "How 'bout this?" click. "Or this?" click. "This?" click. "This?" click. "This?" click. Click. "This?"

"Just pick a channel, GIR!" a rubber pig flew and hit GIR on the side of his head. The little robot just fell over without trying to stop himself in any way.

Zim stared at GIR for a second before sighing angrily and sitting back in the couch. The TV was now on an old black and white movie, but the alien didn't feel like getting up.

Yawning a little, he pulled his legs into his chest and tried to make the best of it. Bored, lavender eyes watched the movie, slowly glazing over and before long; Zim had his head on the armrest. He kept his position until he heard Dib walking down into the living room. As he heard the heavy footsteps, his head shot up, causing the wig to fall off to the side of the couch.

Dib walked into the living room, cleaning his glasses with the bottom of his shirt. Satisfied, he put them back on and looked over at Zim. His scythe like lock was pressed down from the water, causing it to limp at the end.

Zim looked at him, blinked, and then looked back to the TV, pointing at GIR. "He has the remote."

"Uuh, okay. And what do you want me to do about it?"

"Get it from him!" if the boy didn't know better, Zim sounded like he was whining. Sighing, he walked over to the robot and took the controller from his little hands and threw it to Zim. The alien caught it, smiled then changed the channel.

For a moment, Dib felt out of place. He didn't really want to leave, but at the same time wanted as much distance between himself and the irken as physically possible.

/but going back to Deb's means sitting in her room in order to avoid her mother. / Dib sighed and slowly walked over to the couch, sitting down on the other side. Zim looked over at him and glared. After contemplating, his eyes softened and her turned back to the TV.

((Skool))

Lunchtime! Tam and Deb sat at an old abandoned table. Deb had her head down, taking a nap before they had to go back to their classes. Tam sucked on a straw absentmindedly, watching the more crowded tables. One in particular, all the boy were surrounding a redhead girl. She giggled and flirted with each one of them.

"You know, I really don't like that Smacky girl. She annoys me."

"Tonya? She's the one you took the lungs from in the fifth grade."

"Well, I should've kept them, and hope she died." Tam adjusted her wig slightly, the long black hair waving at her shoulders.

"Uh-huh." Deb adjusted her arms for more support.

The table was silent for a second, before Tam realized something. "Hey, if I took the lungs from Smacky, then what did I take from you?"

Deb looked up, confused. "You know. I really don't know."

Blinking, they thought about it for a moment. Giving in, the paranormal investigator put her head back down. "Well, you should know. You're the one that took it."

"Hmmm."

The bell rang and everyone started to flood out of the cafeteria. Deb pulled her head up and sighed. Tam just stood up and went for the door.

Before someone tripped her.

Quickly, she brought her hands out to break her fall as she heard the kids laughing behind her.

"Leave her alone, damn it!" she heard Deb stand up and turned in time to see her girlfriend push Tonya back.

Tonya growled and spat a few hateful comments under her breath before walking away. Deb glared at her back as she walked away with her crowd.

Tam stood, brushing herself off and adjusting her wig slightly. "I can take care of myself, Deb-stink. I don't need your protection!"

Deb smiled. "Sometimes I think you do."

Tam just stared at Deb for a second, before ADD set in. "what are we going to do with Dib and Zim."

The human sighed. "That's a good question." she paused. "But for now, we have to go to class. After school?"

Tam snickered. "My house."

((Tam's Base))

"But sir! The aliens are going to destroy us all!"

"I don't care Johnson! Make my muffins now!"

"You're insane, why are you even the president!"

"What stupid movie is this?" Dib looked up from the said movie to see Zim shrug. Sighing, he sat back once again as GIR crawled up to sit in between them. Yawning, the dysfunctional robot crawled onto the humans lap and fell sleep in a tight little ball.

Dib cocked an eyebrow down at GIR and looked over at Zim to see his reaction is the same. They met each other's eyes, blinked, and then looked back at the TV.

"I'm bored."

"Yup."

"Entertain me."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I have a robot on my lap. Plus I don't want to."

"Stupid human! You have yet to learn your place?"

Dib snickered.

"What?"

"Nope. Nothing." Dib's face started to heat slightly.

Zim looked worried before covering it with aggravation. "Are you feeling sick, human? Because if you are I suggest you leave before you spread it around the base."

"No, I'm fine. Why would you ask that?"

Zim leaned over and tapped his cheek slightly. "Your skin changed colors."

Dib's eyes widened slightly. "It's nothing, ignore it."

Sighing, the invader moved back to his spot, much to Dib's relief and slight disappointment.

/no! Not disappointment! More like…like. / His thoughts paused as he noticed Zim studying him, antennas twitching slightly. His lavender eyes traced Dib's body before glazing over.

Dib moved over slightly.

And then the door to the base opened, Tam and Deb stepping in and then closing the door.

Sighing, Tam smiled. "Hello, boys. How are you on this lovely day?"

They both groaned in response.

"Oh thank god. Me too." Deb leaned up against the door.

Tam blinked. "Well, I figure you two should go out and get some fresh air."

Dib looked over at Tam. "What are you, our mom?"

"No, just looking out for you. In fact." She took a leash from some unknown place. "Take GIR with you."

Hearing this, GIR sat up, squealing happily before hopping off of Dib's lap and putting on his puppy suit.

Sighing, the male counterparts got up. Zim glared as he put on his wig, took the leash from Tam and hooked it to GIR's collar. Opening the door, GIR dragged Zim outside, leaving Dib to follow behind and close the door.

"Was there a reason for that?" Deb gave Tam an odd look.

Tam smirked. "I believe someone's in need of 'special' attention." With that, the alien jumped at the girl.

((Somewhere In The Neighborhood))

"I'm getting a taco-oooo. You want me a taco-ooo!" GIR sang and danced, dragging Zim in his wake.

"Hey, Zim. Don't you find it a little weird that we both needed to walk GIR?"

"NO GIR STOP! AAAAH!" crash!

"Awww, Zimmy fall down and go boom."

Dib followed behind again, defeated. "Never mind."

A minute and a few crashes later, the boys are back at the door.

"I'm just telling you, it seems suspicious!"

"You always say that!"

"And I'm usually right too!"

Zim rolled his eyes as he turned the doorknob. "Stop worrying, earth boy. I assure you nothing is-" Zim's eyes widened as he looked inside the house.

"What? What is it?" Dib's gaze followed Zim's. "…Oh my!"

The position the two girls were in was… interesting. Deb was no longer wearing her trench coat and her shirt was halfway up due to Tam's hand inside it. The human's hand was in the invader's pants, where Tam's legs were spread open. Tam sat on the couch, her ankles locked around Deb's waist, securing her in place. Deb's face was next to Tam's neck, paused in mid bite.

The four just stood there, staring in disbelief. GIR on the other hand, ran into the kitchen screaming. "SEX IS GOOD FOR MASTAH!"

Slowly, Zim closed the door, and for a moment the two boys just stood on the doorstep.

"Were they just-?" Zim found he couldn't finish the sentence.

"Yeah."

"And getting ready to-?"

"Oh yeah."

The alien paused, staring at Dib. "Okay, fine! You were right." He paused. "Pizza?"

"Yeah sure." They walked away from the door way and too Bloaty's.

((Bloaty's))

"You're not eating, human. Why?"

Dib sighed. "Well I just caught my female counterpart getting it on with yours, and you could say it's bringing a few questions to mind."

"Ooh, do tell."

Dib hesitated at Zim's exited behavior, but continued just the same. "Well, let's just say I never saw myself with another guy, much less you." He tried to ignore Zim's hurt expression and passed it off as his eyes playing tricks on him. "And with this being a dimension with almost everything exactly the same, wouldn't that mean that. Well, you know. You and I would-?"

Zim nodded, poking a piece of pizza as if it would move. "And you don't want to become that, is that right?"

Dib nodded.

Sighing, Zim looked up from the food. "Maybe it's the same here, maybe it isn't. I believe it might be best for you to just see what happens and not worry about what your ultimate fate will be."

Dib stare at Zim in disbelief. "Zim, that was the most intelligent thing I've ever heard you say. "He leaned forward. "Are you feeling okay?"

Zim threw a pizza slice in his face. "I feel fine!"

Dib chuckled and wiped away the grease on his face.

" You missed a spot." Zim pointed to his cheek. Dib brought his hand up to wipe it away, only to the wrong cheek. "Wait, I got it." Taking a napkin, he wiped the small bit of sauce off the human's face gently. "What would you do without me?" Zim's eyes locked into Dib's, then the alien realized what he was doing and pulled away, blushing slightly.

"Zim? Are you—blushing?"

"No, of course not!"

"But your cheeks are turning--"

"That's my natural skin color, it's completely natural!"

"No it isn't."

"How would you know! You know nothing of me!" Zim stood up and walked out, leaving Dib with the food and check.

Tapan: my favorite part of this chapter is Dib saying "oh my." I love it to death! The next chapter, hopefully, will have more moments with Dib and Zim and…. fun stuff /smiles in an evilly perverted way/ Mwahahahahaha! R&R!