Chapter twelve (Ending two)

Darkness.

That was all Motoko saw. Not literally; the waiting room at Doctor Hikari's clinic was well-lit, aside from it being no later than ten o' clock in the morning. No, dear listener, this darkness was in Motoko's mind. That magical place between the ears and behind the eyes, that ends up being more important than either of these things. She sighed, and shook her head. Tried to clear some of this strange, ominous blackness that had invaded her skull. She failed.

Motoko's thoughts now turned a little more outward, and she remembered the happenings of last night. She and Keitaro, lying there side by each, where she'd made that decision. The decision to end the life of her baby, one whose presence was unknown to the whole world, minus two. She already felt utterly ghastly; a murderer-of-innocents-to-be. It had all sounded so easy inside her head last night, and had came out with a similar of effortlessness. (Perhaps,) her mind decided to add, (it's simply that you weren't really thinking about it last night, ne? Could that be it, Motoko? Hmmm?) Her own thoughts mocked her, it seemed. Indeed, why should they not? She was about to kill an innocent baby who had not even begun to breathe.

"Motoko-chan? Are you okay?" A voice shook her from the place inside her head and dumped her fiercely back into Doctor Hikari's waiting room. She looked around. She saw a nurse wearing a striped apron and hospital whites, along with a kind smile. She saw Keitaro looking at her with concerned eyes, seated in the chair beside hers, and lastly, she saw Doctor Hikari herself, the woman she'd come to see. She stood up abruptly and bowed.

"Gomen ne, Hikari-sensei. I had not noticed your presence; I was somewhat lost in my thoughts, please forgive me." Doctor Hikari grew a smile to match her nurse's, and bowed slightly in return.

"Worry not, Motoko-chan. I can see you now, if you're ready."

"Arigato. Keitaro," Motoko said, turning to him as she spoke, "Wait out here for me. I trust I won't be too long." Keitaro winced at her words, and she felt a pang of regret, but he nodded. A halfhearted smile appeared on his face, seeming horribly forced.

"I'll... I'll be right out here if you need me. Motoko-chan, Hikari-sensei." With that, Motoko and Doctor Hikari walked across the small waiting room into her office, and closed the door tightly behind her. The doctor motioned to an overstuffed leather easy chair in front of her desk, and seated herself behind it. She slanted her head in Motoko's direction, and then spoke, brisk as ever.

"So, Motoko-chan. What's the trouble today? I asked Keitaro when he called for you, naturally, but he wouldn't tell me. Said it was somewhat of a personal thing. I'm aching to know what "personal things" you've got Keitaro calling me­ about." Doctor Hikari leaned forward in her chair and rested her head on her hands. Motoko felt as if the words were stuck in her throat. She knew how she should start this, that simple, two-word sentence that she'd already said once before. It couldn't be this hard to do it again... could it? (No.)

"Hikari-sensei... I'm pregnant." She looked up at the doctor, expecting to see shock, anger, or both on her face. Instead, she was nodding.

"Mmm. Well, I actually expected that." Motoko face-vaulted, then leapt to her feet; face red as a beet and sword in hand.

"What?! Do you take me for some loose tramp, you insolent fool?! I should cut you down where you stand! I—" Motoko looked again at Doctor Hikari, and she was laughing. This was too much. Motoko sank back down into her chair, sheathing her katana. After a minute, the doctor wiped her eyes, and began again.

"Aah... Sumimasen, Motoko-chan, but that was funny. I guessed because when Keitaro called me, he could barely speak. You could almost hear the blood rushing through his head. That, and as soon as a guy calls a doctor making an appointment for a girl, calling it 'personal problems,' you get a bit of an inkling. You follow?" Motoko nodded dumbly, unable to speak anymore. "Well, now that you don't want to kill me anymore, I'll need to ask you a couple of questions. First; are you sure?" Motoko nodded again. She knew. The changes in her body's ki were enough to tell her, better than any pregnancy test and cheaper, too. "Okay, you're sure. Do you know the time of conception?"

"Huh?"

"Conception, Motoko-chan. You know, exactly when you two did the nasty?" Motoko turned a shade of red that was so very red it might have been more appropriately called maroon before she responded.

"Uh, about three months ago. Three months minus a few days, if you need me to be a little more exact, but I can't remember the actual date. Hikari busily wrote on a small pad in front of her even as she pressed on with her questions.

"Okay, three months, maybe a little less. Good, good. Now – third and last question – What do you want to do about it?" Motoko said nothing. She looked down. (Say it,) some horrible, despicable voice inside her said. (Say it, Motoko. It's just four words. 'I want an abortion.' Four simple little words, then a few cuts and some residual pain and you're all fixed up. No more baby. Come on, what's wrong with you? Say it!) She couldn't give in, not when her mind was speaking to her like a lowlife would. She stalled. What good it would do, she knew not. She only knew that some smaller, much more Motoko-like, voice was telling her this: "Time. More time."

"Ano... What exactly can I do at this point, Hikari-sensei?" The woman in front of her put on a small, wise smile and held up three fingers.

"The magical three, as they're sometimes called. One; you keep the baby. Two; you carry the baby but after its birth we give it over to the care of adoptive parents, or three; you undergo a surgical procedure to terminate your pregnancy." Doctor Hikari paused, then leaned over her desk to put a hand on Motoko's arm. "If you need some help deciding, I can tell you all I know about each of the choices and what it might mean for you."

Motoko stood up. She had thought it was going to be so easy, but fate had thrown another bone-handled dagger her way. This choice that she was positive she'd already made stood before her, the looming maw of an unpleasant, murderous creature. She stepped inside and allowed the beast's jaws to close over her. (Ane-ue, forgive me.) She thought such to herself before she walked over to the good doctor with a determined set to her features.

"Hikari-sensei, I know what I want to do. I need your help with it, though."

(Hinata city clinic waiting room, hours later)

Keitaro opened his eyes. The waiting room at Doctor Hikari's clinic had gotten bigger, so it seemed... Or had he just grown smaller? He looked to his left, and saw that that was indeed the case; he was about as tall as the ant that was scurrying by him, a crumb of the receptionist's cinnamon roll in its jaws. It cast him a perplexed sort of glance as it trundled past, seeming to say, "I know that sort... They're usually much bigger, though. Strange."

Keitaro heard a noise coming from behind him. From under the chair upon which he'd only recently been sitting. The noise for some reason struck fear, no, utter terror into Keitaro's heart. It was the soft gurgling of a very small baby. He turned around, slowly. He felt rooted to the spot as the source of the noise washed into his vision. He was numb. A scream caught in his throat, and he made only dry gasping noises as he pointed, sinking to the ground.

Before him sat a baby. Now, of course, the baby was a towering giant compared to his newly adjusted size. It was not your normal, healthy, cooing baby though. Its skin was a slate-grey colour. Its eyes were pools of liquid tar, black from top to bottom. A pair of surgical shears was stuck in the top of its skull, blue-black blood steadily leaking down the baby's forehead. Its chest was laid open, and Keitaro could see its tiny heart, not beating, not moving. Dead. Dead like it was. The baby opened its toothless maw and spoke, its voice sounding like fingernails on a blackboard as it accused him, pointing its chubby finger.

"Papa, how could you let her kill me like you did? Papa, how? How, papa? How?" Keitaro found his voice. He screamed.

"HELP, SOMEONE, ANYONE, HELP MEEEE!!" Keitaro clawed his way back to a sitting position, preparing to turn on his heels and run, before noticing where he was. He was back in the normal waiting room, or more accurately, back in the waking world. It had been but a horrible dream. The next thing Keitaro noticed was that everyone was staring at him. He must have screamed aloud.

"Ano... Gomen nasai, minna-san. It was just a... a bad dream."

"Bad dreams, Keitaro-kun?" Keitaro looked up. There was Motoko, being wheeled in by Doctor Hikari's smiling nurse, with the good doctor herself close behind her.

"Wah! You're done already?!" Keitaro jumped to his feet and was at Motoko's side in half a second. "How long was I asleep for?!" Motoko smiled, apparently quite weak from the procedure's

(Procedure?)

after-effects. She stood up and drew Keitaro into a long hug, whispering her reply in his ear.

"Yes, we're finished. It only took about three hours, maybe a little less. You've been out for nearly four hours, according to the receptionist anyway." Keitaro glanced over Motoko's shoulder at the receptionist's desk, who dropped him a lewd sort of wink. He shuddered slightly. "Keitaro-kun?"

"Ano... nothing, Motoko-chan. Let's go home. I'll take the rest of the day off, and we can spend it

(forgetting)

recuperating." She smiled, and rose from her wheelchair without help.

"Let's go then. Arigato, Hikari-sensei." The doctor nodded a farewell, and at the last moment before she turned to go see to her next patient, she and Motoko exchanged something. Not physical, and nobody in the room noticed but those two. A glance, a wink, a thought. Whatever it was, there was a bond between those two, now.

Keitaro knew. Keitaro had seen it. He put the thought away, storing it carefully wrapped in silk and sealed with wax, for a day where it might make sense. He and Motoko left the clinic together, though not arm-in-arm as they'd come. He kept his distance from her on the train, too. The dream, fresh in his mind, kept coming back to him. Whenever he got close to Motoko, he would hear that horrible, rasping, scraping voice.

...Papa, why...

The two arrived back at the Hinata-sou to find it mostly empty. Motoko said she was tired, that she wanted to take a nap to sleep off the remainder of the anesthetics before the others got home. Keitaro silently agreed, then disappeared into his room, textbooks in arm. He planned to study away his guilt, or at the very least, bury it under a flood of knowledge.

Motoko was glad. She needed the rest.

After what seemed like an eternity of wandering around in darkness, Motoko finally saw a light. The light seemed to twist and phase in her vision, forming different shapes. Random, so they seemed. A train. An old man with one eye, and a long beard. A katana. A lajatang. A shuriken.

Finally, the light solidified. The front of the Hinata-sou was none to far off in the distance. Motoko ran for it, not wanting to wander around alone in the dark anymore. She was cold, and tired, and she wanted to see her friends and have some of Shinobu's delicious cooking. When she opened the door, however, she was greeted with a most unpleasant (and not to mention utterly unusual) sight.

There stood before her a being that resembled Keitaro, except for its eyes. They were blood red. It grinned at her, showing six rows of razor-sharp teeth, and spoke in a grating tone that reminded her of the sword-sharpener's wheel at the Shinmeiryuu school.

"I thought you loved me, Motoko-chan, but you killed the baby that was born of our union. I hate you." Motoko felt tears sting her eyes as she tried to reply, but she found that she could not speak. The being before her laughed. It sounded like the whining of an electric motor. It wrapped its arms around itself tightly, then changed. Melted, sort of, into the shape of her sister, Tsuruko.

"Motoko-han, you are a coward, a deceiver, and above all, you are weak. I am ashamed that we share the same blood. Death is too kind a fate for you." Motoko was crying stormily now, still not making a sound. She was sorry, and she wanted to say so, but she couldn't. The thing laughed again, and changed once more, this time into her.

"You don't deserve him, Motoko. I and only I will ever hold Keitaro's heart. He doesn't love you at all. Why don't you stop pretending? Now, do us all a favour and die quietly, you despicable bitch." This last seemed to be the most cruel blow of all, and even as the demon-shapeshifter-Naru-thing faded from sight, its laughter continuing to mock her, Motoko Aoyama finally found her voice. She screamed, as loud as she could, and

Sat up, panting heavily, in her futon. She looked all around her for a trace of that terrible creature, but saw none. The damage it had inflicted on her was very real, though, and she rolled over to catch the impending rain of tears in her pillow. She wept, even as she cursed herself.

"This doesn't feel right, this never has felt right. That thing was right about one thing; it's time I stopped pretending. I was going to do this anyway, but now it's for more reasons than one. Keitaro... I'm sorry."

Motoko got up. She crossed the room. Lifted a sheet and a strong pole from behind her dresser, and began packing her things. She'd slip out tonight, and make for the mountains. She'd go to that training camp that her and her sister used to visit as part of their childhood exercises. There, she would wait. Such would be her punishment for interfering with fate.

Such, as it turned out, would also be the very thing that saved her. As she slipped out of the Hinata-sou, sparing it and its occupants one last glancelet for her own sake, she sent a last, plaintive sentence his way.

"Keitaro... Gomen nasai, but this was not meant to be." With that, she walked down the path, and the night swallowed her. Silence.

End chapter twelve (Ending two)

((Well, well, WELL. I've changed my original plan for the direction of this fic, but I refuse to tell you anything about it. This will be the TWIST TO END ALL TWISTS, SAY I! WAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH... [continue maniacal laughter until min has to take a deep breath]

Phew! Okay, anyway. I hope you all liked this chapter. HinaGuy, I'm still sorry that you don't like it, but trust me when I say to keep reading. Please. :D

Dennisud, I saw that review of Crosseyedbutterfly's story that mentioned me as one of the top three [four? Can't remember. ;p] Love Hina authors of all time, and I am deeply touched. Arigato Gozaimasu!

All my other loyal reviewers and readers, just you wait! I promise you another chapter before university starts, [note: that's the eighth of September.] and with any luck, I'll have two! Don't die from suspense-itis, and as I alllllllllllllllways say:

REVIEW, PLEASE! :D –Min))