Chapter 2
Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one, etc etc. This all belongs to Terry Pratchett.
Vimes walked down the street whistling, life was good. The weather was great, there had been no major trouble for at least three days, Sybil had forgiven him and best of all, there were no meetings he was required to be at, for at least the rest of the day. All he had to do now was hand his weekly report in and then he could spend the rest of the day with little Vimes junior.
One hour later, his good mood rapidly diminishing, Vimes was still sat in the patrician's antechamber awaiting an audience. Sybil would be pointedly forgiving towards him if he missed his anticipated afternoon with the kid, an occurrence that didn't bear thinking about.
"The patrician will see you now." Said Drumknott, coming in through a side door.
"Good for him." Replied Vimes nicely.
"Glad he could spare the time from his undoubtedly busy schedule."
Drumknott looked as if he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, he knew Vimes. Vimes however had decided that nothing and nobody was going to ruin his good mood, come hell or high water. Plus the bastards wouldn't expect it; he might even get a rise out of Vetinari if he played it right. He grinned. Drumknott jumped six inches.
"Is everything alright sir?" he asked.
He had never seen Vimes actually smile before, especially not after waiting an hour for the patrician. Vimes' smile widened, a whole new avenue of inflicting terror on people was opening up before him.
Inside the oblong office, Vetinari was sitting. He appeared to be making a point of doing nothing. Just the sort of thing that would normally drive Vimes right up the wall, Vimes smiled. He could sense he was on the way to victory, a pointless victory true, but he would take what he could get.
"Afternoon sir" he said pleasantly
Vetinari blinked. Vimes smiled even further, that blink was practically an admission of surprise.
"Sir Samuel." Came the response.
"You seem especially cheerful today," Vetinari stated looking mildly interested.
"Sir?" he replied.
"My weekly report sir." He added, still smiling.
Then to his surprise, Vetinari smiled back.
"Thank you Sir Samuel. Was there anything else?"
"Sir?" he answered
"Yes Sir Samuel?"
"You're smiling sir," said Vimes
"Thank you Sir Samuel, I am well aware of this, is there some problem arising from my smile?"
Vimes gulped, the patrician was smiling. Vetinari was not supposed to smile, how has his plan of terror going to compete with Vetinari's. His gaze sharpened, he hadn't lost yet.
"I'm just glad to see you are happy sir," he said in the nicest tone he could possibly manage.
"Why only last week Sybil was worried that you were lonely, up here all alone." He added snidely. Retrospectively he thought he might have gone a bit too far here. He wished he hadn't started this. Especially since the patrician had only just forgiven him last weeks offence.