Chapter 5

A/N: Two chapters in a week... Don't get your hopes up, I go back to the hell from whence I came Monday, and I'll start being sporadic and unreliable again. There's a Will & Grace line this time, instead of a South Park one. I love you all, especially my truly awesome reviewers! I really appreciate the feedback and encouragement, and it's great to know that people are reading!

Thank you Chloe, for the pokes.

Ginny woke up, put on her absolute favorite outfit she had bought for work, and went in the kitchen to model for Colin and Neville, who were eating breakfast.

"Oh my God, Ginny, what's wrong with you?" said Colin through a mouthful of eggs.

Ginny had been under a lot of stress, and this was no help. "What? What happened? What did I do?"

"It's not what you did," said Neville, "it's what you're wearing! Now, who attached 8 inches to what would otherwise be a perfectly fine skirt?"

"I like this skirt! It makes me look professional!"

"It makes you look prude-y."

"It's not that prude-y. And its not like Im trying to catch anyone's attention.

"Freudian slip! You are trying to catch someones attention! cried Colin.

Ginny had absolutely no idea what they were on about. "No, actually, you're just attention starved. Who's attention would I be trying to catch?"

"Could it be...Mr. Malfoy's?"

"Why would I want to do that?"

Those broad shoulders, that tight butt. Have you seen the man?

"Not since the time I slapped him during his graduation year...I'm not so sure he'll be happy to see me.

"He won't be happy to see you if you show up wearing that!"

"It doesn't look that prudish, does it?" said Ginny, changing the subject as she felt herself blush.

"You are Prudence McPrude, the Mayoress of Prudie Town." said Colin definitely, starting on his toast.

Ginny's lower lip began to tremble.

"Don't cry! You'll ruin your makeup!" said Neville, hurrying over with some tissue.

"Look, Gin, just let us fix it up, OK?"

Ginny sniffed. "Fine.

Colin tapped her butt with his wand.

Ginny looked at her skirt. "It doesn't look any different to me."

"I was just checking you out. You haven't been to the gym lately, have you?"

"Fix my fucking skirt!"

Colin sighed and waved his wand. Purple sparks came out of the skirt as it decreased in length and gave itself a lace trim. "What do you think?"

"I look like a french maid."

Colin and Neville beamed.

After some negotiation, Ginny managed to get out wearing a white satin skirt with black lace, shorter than she would have liked, longer than Colin and Neville would have liked. She was so busy surreptitiously pulling the skirt down on the bus that it wasnt until she was just outside the giant pyramid of the Ministry building that she realized her blouse was mysteriously missing two buttons, along with their respective button holes. She sighed, walked in, and prepared to not know what she was doing.

The receptionist was a kid with 5 piercings and blue spiked hair, complete with a cigarette and vacant stare towards the ceiling. His name tag said Pete. Ginny did a mental eye roll. One would think that after they had gone to all the trouble of dyeing their hair and poking painful looking holes in their bodies, teenagers would at least take the trouble to come up with names to match.

"Hi, I'm new, where can I get my portkey?" she said as politely as she could. She thought teenagers as a rule were obnoxious and annoying, and wondered how she had stood herself at that age.

"Here."

"Well, may I have mine please?"

He tossed a condom across the table at her.

"Kid, don't mess with me."

"That's the portkey. You're a secretary right?"

"Yes...Wait, how did you know?"

"You look like a whore."

Ginny mentally slammed her head against the wall. "And you're sure that's the portkey?"

"Yup. Better grab it fast, there're only about 12 seconds left."

Ginny snatched it and held it at arms length. "Thank you." she said shortly.

"Anytime...Hey," he said suddenly.

"Yes?"

"Can I get me some of that?"

Ginny would have said something along the lines of "fuck you, asshole," but she already felt the jerk at her navel that meant the portkey was working.

Draco was playing with his slinky when his new secretary appeared.

"Good morning, Miss." he said, pretending to keep looking at the slinky, but, in actuality looking past it to her legs.

"Good morning, sir." she said with her teeth slightly on edge.

"Your desk is outside. Your work is in my inbox. Sort the personal from the professional, and send me the personal stuff. Trash anything from my wife. Answer any professional memos I'm supposed to answer, read anything I'm supposed to read, and tell me everything I need to know in plain English at lunch today. Can you do that for me?"


Huh. thought Ginny. Plain English equals no words over eight letters long. Ginny looked at the stack of papers. It was enormous. She thought of the paycheck. That was enormous, too.

"Absolutely, sir." she said. She gave her wand a flick, and as she walked out the door, the papers followed her.

Her desk was awesomely spacious, probably to make up for the complete lack of privacy. About eight other desks were positioned in the medium sized room, next to the offices of their respective top dog schmucks.

As soon as she walked in, all the other secretaries looked up. They were all absolutely drop dead gorgeous, and any one of them could be Christie. She felt like she needed to say something.

"Um...Hi everybody...I'm Ginny. As one, the group nodded and went back to work. Ginny shrugged and sat down. There was a dark green engagement calender on her desk. A sticky note with small, thin script on top of it read "Put everything I need to do in here." The first note was from Pansy.

Draco,

This is the last time I'll warn you. Don't try divorce. I will crush you, Draco, and if you can't see that, you're a damn fool.

I still love you,

Pansy

Ginny blanched. The last time she had seen Pansy was a few months ago at a charity function she and Harry had gone to together. She was slurring her words, and Ginny was sitting next to her, trying to keep her from making a fool of herself. All she could talk about was her husband, and how much she loved him, and the great life they were making together, as opposed to Ginny's.

Aha! There is justice in this world! She tossed the note, and moved onto the next note.

I had a great time last night...Can I see you again Wednesday? I'll meet you at Le Chat Noir at eight. -Julie

Ginny opened the planner to Wednesday and wrote Date with Julie at Le Chat Noir, 8:00. She put the note in the "Personal" pile. The next item was a lengthy letter from the Transylvanian Witches Establishment for Righteous Proceedings , objecting to the dragon on a recent Malfoy-Zambini campaign ad breathing fire on a weasel. The group claimed that it painted the dragon as being an unnecessarily cruel, carnivorous killer, and demanded a public apology at their monthly assembly. Ginny made the note, and moved on.

"Hey baby..." Percy (A/N: You might remember him from Chapter One) opened his eyes to last nights conquest, a skinny girl with dark brown hair named Melissa.

"When does your next class start?"

"I'm teaching interpretive dance at noon."

"Just enough time for a cup of green tea, then?"

He smiled. "Sounds great."

Five minutes later, the tea was on, and they were revealing their inner selves.

"Hmm..." said Percy. "If you were an animal, what would you be?"

"I think...A cat. Definitely a cat. My turn: Do you believe in magic?"

The color drained out of Percy's face. "No." he said shortly. "What a ridiculous idea."

The girl flushed. "I believe in magic...I don't see how anyone can prove otherwise."

"I need to go."

"Oh...um...Okay...See you in class then!"

"Sure." said Percy, and walked out without another word.

Luna Lovegood, editor and owner of The Oracle newspaper and of Divine magazine, was planning a vacation to Aruba in anticipation of the extra money that would come in when she ran the story of Ginny and Harry's divorce in The Oracle on Tuesday, when an idea came to her.

"Hellooo, Colin, Hellooo, Neville!" she sang when they answered her "How would Peaches & Herbs like a little more advertising space in Divine?" Peaches & Herbs was a Herbology and Gardening magazine Neville and Colin had started in their one-room apartment just out of school. Neville had written, and Colin had photographed, and, over eight years, the magazine flourished to the point where they could afford a two floor house and hire people to do all the dirty work for them. This lead to a lot of spare time and money, which they utilized by throwing rockin' parties whenever they felt like it. Divine was a woman's lifestyle magazine, and Peaches & Herbs depended on it to attract much of their audience.

"Of course we'd like it, the question is what do we have to do to get it?"

"I'm doing a feature on Harry and Ginny's divorce in the Oracle, but I thought it would be good to do a sister piece in Divine, giving Ginny's take on the divorce, with an interview and a photo shoot. It'll come out a month or so from now, and I need you to help me convince her to do it."

Neville and Colin looked at each other.

"Come on," said Luna. "She needs the self esteem boost."

"How much ad space?"

"Two full page ads." In advertising terms, this was a pretty big freebie, about 30,000 galleons, but a cover story with Ginny, who was normally camera shy, would be more than worth it.

"Done. We can ambush her after her divorce hearing, when she's angry at Harry and wants revenge."

"Great, when's the hearing?"

"Tuesday, but I don't know when she gets back. Let's all go to dinner Wednesday, meet here at 7:30?"

"Absolutely. You two are just my favorite two people ever!"

Draco was so busy trying to beat his current record (18) for number of books he could make his slinky walk down that he almost lost track of the time. Fortunately, he looked at the clock in time to realize that Ron would be going out to lunch soon, and now would be the opportune moment to hit on his new secretary.

Ginny answered the final memo in a haze of boredom. In the past four hours, she had been through every type of conceivable letter that existed. She had scheduled at least eight dates with different women, along with conventions, speeches, and other campaign activities. Along with 3 more letters from Pansy, one of which was too tear stained to even read, another of which was so suggestive that Ginny blushed reading it, Draco had also received letters from a cult of at least fifty women calling themselves "The Guardians" who wanted Draco to submit to a sexual ritual involving auto-erotic asphyxiation and whips. Ginny wasn't sure if he would be interested, and put it into the pile of stuff he should read himself.

All in all, she was so ready to leave off her tasks that she didn't think twice when Draco suggested she brief him on his upcoming events over lunch.

Ron was a different story. He came out of his office mid coffee sip, just in time to hear, "How about we talk about this over lunch?" come out of the mouth of the slimy git, and his angelic sister answer "OK."

But by the time he finished choking on his drink, they were already out the door.