A/N: (Slowly) recovering from writer's block…Bet you thought I had had it with this story, huh? Don't worry, if I want to discontinue this story, I'll make a post, and at least attempt to tie up loose ends. As always, there is a South Park reference, and this time, a Pirates of the Caribbean one, too. Kudos to you if you can find them! Next chapter up...Ugh...I have 2 weeks of exams coming soon, but I'll see.

The Five Most Nauseating Things about Christmas (DVD extra):

5."(Basic Cable Network here) Original Christmas movies" put out by such networks as Hallmark, Lifetime, USA, TNT, TBS, etc. And there's no love lost for ABC Family, either.

4. Eggnog. Slimy, overly sweet, and absolutely disgusting.

3. Modern/Remade Christmas carols: Insanely catchy and horribly annoying, these are not the Silent Night and First Noel you know and love. These are those grating, awful songs you'd rather drink eggnog then listen to. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, All I Want for Christmas… (Is My two Front Teeth). You know the type.

2. All Your Idiot Friends, who find it necessary to send you Christmas cards, then expect you to go out and blow four bucks at Hallmark just for their own personal confirmation that you are their friend. Because they can't just call you or anything.

1. Politically Correct references to "The Holidays"/ "The Holiday Season", etc. People, I am here, as a Jew, to inform you that it's okay to say Christmas. Hanukkah, to Jews, is not that big of a deal. It's more offensive to try and equate it with Christmas then it is to leave it out entirely.

Also, as ramora13 justly pointed out, there were no DVD extras in Chapter Five, so here are, for your enjoyment:

Top 3 Most Completely Ridiculous Song Lyrics:

3. "You'll somehow find/ You and I collide" From "Collide" (surprise, surprise) by Howie Day (I mean, come on. Is there no better verb? Collide, a word commonly used to describe car crashes, football tackles, and the way an asteroid may impact the earth, is, however, not a word commonly used to pick up chicks . There is a reason for this, and that reason is not that no one had been creative enough to think of "collide" in this context until Howie Day. The reason is that this usage of "collide" is just plain stupid.)

2. "When I'm hurtin', baby/ I ain't happy, baby" From "Burn" by Usher (Thank you, Usher, for this profound insight into the depths of your feelings)

1. "If this ain't the truth/ Then hopefully it's not a lie" From "My Place" by Nelly (Nelly, coincidentally, from the same "No shit, Sherlock" Songwriting School that turned out Usher.

Chapter 6

"Yes, um, well then…Let's get started, shall we?"

Ginny was distinctly uncomfortable. She was sitting in Le Chat Noir, the upper class restaurant where Draco would be taking his date, Julie, the day after tomorrow. Her boss was sitting across from her, eyeing her like a particularly juicy piece of steak. In response to her question, he smiled and raised his eyebrows.

"Uh…" Ginny continued. "So, this is your engagement calendar… And this week you have three dates with…three different women. Heh. You're also giving four speeches, five interviews, and you have a meeting with your divorce lawyer on Friday. This weekend, you have several other speeches and events. Let's start with today, shall we?"

He smiled a little wider. Ginny wished he'd stop smiling at her. It was unnerving. But it wasn't a bad smile. Provided she was noticing, which she wasn't. It was sort of a Cheshire Cat smile: wide, but still predatory.

"Well," she said, "Today, Minister Peters is calling an afternoon conference at 3:30 to plan the week's agenda, as well as to go over long term plans. He also noted that you did not attend the morning briefing, and that he would appreciate it if you would at least pretend to care about your job. Tonight, you have an interview with Marsha Jansen on Living Like a Queen. Her people sent over the questions she'll ask you, and your speech writer has written in key points for you to bring up in your answers. Remember that her audience is mostly flamboyant young gay men."

"Why the Hell should I talk to flamboyant young gay men?"

"It's an untapped audience…Most of them have a lot of expendable income: Few have children, and our statistics show they tend to be career oriented. Not only are their donations to your campaign helpful, your support on critical issues such as gays in the magical world help your image as a future oriented progressive who will unify the wizarding world."

"I'm a conservative."

"Not anymore."

Before Draco could respond, the waiter came to take their orders.

"Well," said Draco, "I think that she'll have a salad, and I'll go with the steak and potatoes."

"Certainly, sir," said the waiter, who was kissing Draco's ass for tips. "And what would you like to drink?"

"We'll take a pitcher of iced tea."

"That'll be right there."

"Thank you. "

Ginny was furious. Who did he think he was, to order for her? A salad, while he got steak! "Mr. Malfoy," she said through gritted teeth, "I found that previous exchange highly inappropriate. To order my food for me was chauvinist and rude, and I would appreciate it if you would acknowledge my independence as a separate being by allowing me to order my own food next time."

Draco was too busy staring at Ginny's chest to notice that she had been talking.

"I'm sorry," he said without looking up, "did you say something?"

"I was saying that you need to let me order my own food, as opposed to assuming you know what I want."

"Oh," said Draco, "But I do know what you want. And I want it to. So let's say we skip the flirting, dating, and bases one through three, and instead just mosey back to the office and have a fuck on the desk."

"You're a disgusting pig."

"Yes, but I'm also a damn good screw."

And so passed the rest of their lunch.

The most interesting thing about Draco taking his new secretary to lunch just to make Ron mad was that he had absolutely no idea who his new secretary was. He just thought he'd flaunt his new bachelordom in Ron's face for a while. So one can imagine his surprise when he came back, settled down in his office with some high quality wizard porn (for all his trying, he was still impotent as could be), and was almost immediately interrupted by an angry rival with coffee stains all down the front of his robes.

"And what the Hell do you think you're doing?" asked Draco indignantly, almost knocking his desk over in his hasty attempt to hide the magazine under it.

"I'm here to ask you what the Hell you think you're doing!" yelled Ron. It was fortunate for the rest of the building that the walls to Draco's office had been sound proofed.

"Um…" said Draco. "And what would you be talking about…?" He wanted Ron out of his office. He didn't like angry Weasely's anymore than he liked them in the best of tempers.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. Why in the Hell would you take my sister out to lunch?"

Realization hit Draco. "Uh…She's my secretary…" He raised his eyebrows suggestively, just to piss Ron off.

"That's right! And Ginny would never be anything more than that to someone like you, so you can keep your dirty mouth off of her honor!"

"That's not what she told me to do with my mouth."

Ron's eyes narrowed. "Oh, I'm gonna whoop your ass good!" He threw a punch, and Draco barely dodged. Ron went tumbling out of control and went face first onto the floor.

There was a knock at the door, and Ron, who didn't want to be seen openly brawling with his political rival (bad publicity), scrambled under the desk.

"Umm…" Ginny poked her head in. "Excuse me, but a woman named Stacy Rect just owled you wondering where you were for your racquet ball date this afternoon…" She was slightly confused about this, because she'd always thought racquet ball was a Muggle sport.

There was a loud thunk as Ron noticed the porn under the desk with him and accidentally slammed his head on the underside of the desk An idea came to him, and he slid the magazine in plain sight on the desk top.

"She says be sure to come tomorrow, and make sure your equipment is well oiled and ready for a work out."

She spotted the porn, and raised her eyebrows. "Sorry to …disturb your work." Jesus, she thought, Men.

As the door clicked shut, a growl rose from behind the desk. "Alright, shit head. Time for you to get your ass beat."

"Bring it on, bitch."

Over on the more evil side of the story, Hermione whistled as she mixed up a potion to bring out a sexier side to Ron. The Archives, where she worked, were the largest library in the wizarding world. Excepting the little bastards who came on school field trips, most people were completely ignorant of the insane wealth of information the Archives held, and Hermione pretty much had the place to herself.

She was so used to this perfect isolation, in fact, that she didn't notice Blaise until he snuck up behind her and yelled "Hermione!" into her ear, just as she added the orange rind. This really wasn't a good idea, and before he knew it, Blaise was on his back, paralyzed from the neck down.

"How can I help you, Mr. Zambini?" asked Hermione, not lowering her wand.

"Oh, I'm just stopping in, really. Wanted to hear your wonderful voice."

"Well, this is my voice asking you to leave." Blaise looked at himself, and then back at Hermione. She sighed and flicked her wand, removing the spell.

"Gee, Hermione, do you have a little sand in your vagina?" saidBlaise as he dusted himself off. "Hmm…I see a love potion there. Are you on the outs with Ron? I'm always available."

"You always let me know you're available, Blaise, and somehow, I am never surprised."

"You know, we used to date."

"Really?" said Hermione with just a trace of sarcasm. "Well, thanks for letting me know."

Blaise huffed. "I thought we had fun!"

"It was a low point in my life." said Hermione, bringing her potion to a boil.

"I've got a preposition for you"

Hermione smirked. "A proposition?" Blaise loved $6 words, but often had no idea of the actual context in which they were meant to be used.

"Yeah, that."

"Oh, this should be good. What kind of proposition would this be?"

Blaise leaned a little closer. "I can get you out of this two-bit routine you call life. I can make you the most powerful woman in the wizarding world"

Power was something Hermione always felt she could use more of. "How do you plan to accomplish that?" she asked, feeling her breath catch in her throat.

Around 3 pm

"I want her gone." Draco was in Karen Coston's office, sporting two post-Ron's-visit black eyes. "She's more trouble than she's worth."

Karen looked down her nose at Draco. "Uh-huh. What is the reason for this request of termination?"

"Every time I try to talk to her, her brother beats me up."

"Mr. Malfoy, I am disinclined to aquiest your request. You don't want to fire Ginny because of her brother, you just want a busty blonde secretary, you chauvinist pig." Nothing pissed Karen off more then some self important shmuck who couldn't see women as anything other than sex objects for his own personal pleasure.

"No! Honestly, I find Ginny very attra-"

"Save it, asshole. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I have to deal with your masogynist bullshit! Ginny is there until I say otherwise. Now get out of my office."

Back in his own office, Draco settled down with a bottle of Firewhiskey and wondered how his quality of life had gotten so low, so fast.

A Serious Moment:

Thank you so much to all of my reviewers, because if you hadn't reviewed, I never would have continued to write this story. HelenTheFreakazoid, jenny, Chloe, CanadianVamp, entrancer, ramora13, infiltrate the enemy fat kid, Adrenalina, dorklord23, and henrietta-Black…I adore you. And all of you who are reading silently, please review, your opinions mean so much to me.

Thus concludes this Serious Moment. Don't worry, by the next chapter, I will have returned to tasteless sexual jokes and blatant disregard for moral standards.