A/N: This story is purely for my amusement, and I really only wanted to write it so I could make up threats for Sanzo.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Saiyuki... oh, the sadness.

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Compromising Situations

"Sanzoooooooo... I'm hungry."

Sanzo brought his hands up to his temples and started to gently massage them. He had been listening to Goku whine for... he looked down at his watch. Three minutes? It felt like a life time. Anymore of this and Sanzo was going to have to take more drastic measures.

"Sanzooo... did you hear me?" The monkey started to poke at Sanzo's shoulder. Bad idea.

Sanzo whipped his gun out and leveled it with Goku's head. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE! COULD YOU JUST SHUT UP FOR FIVE MINUTES?"

Goku started to pout. They had been waiting for their other two companions for near eight minutes, and Goku was starting to get really bored. And, of course, hungry. Sanzo was just getting annoyed. Annoyed at everything, he hated waiting, he hated listening to the other one whine about being hungry, didn't it seem like he was always hungry? No amount of food could ever satisfy that craving...

"Sanzooo..."

"If you finish that sentence I will put a bullet in your gut."

Goku quit, for now. But the monkeys persistence and his stupidity wouldn't allow him to quit forever. Sanzo knew that within five minutes Goku would be back on the topic of getting food. Oh, god, what's taking them so long? He looked down at his watch again... ok, so they were only late by five minutes, Sanzo could forgive them that... couldn't he?

They will both die slow, painful deaths.

"Sanzooooo..." And so it began.

Sanzo got up quickly. He was not about to sit through yet another one of Goku's fits, he needed to see what was taking Gojyo and Hakkai so long. The monkey got up with Sanzo and followed him, knowing that the determined and slightly pissed off look on Sanzo's face meant Goku was in for a good show. He bounced lightly beside Sanzo until they got to their companions room, when Goku took it upon himself to warn the other two what they had gotten themselves into.

He reached out for the knob and slammed the door open. He entered with the biggest smile on his face, already fantasizing what Sanzo would do to the tardy pack. When he opened his eyes, he stopped dead. Sanzo had arrived slightly after Goku and had frozen solid, too. The sight in front of their eyes was unbelievable.

Gojyo was sitting on the bed, nothing weird about that. But Hakkai was kneeling in front of him, his hands on Gojyo's thighs and his head in Gojyo's lap. Hakkai had turned his head around to see who entered, but it was pretty obvious what was going on before Goku and Sanzo had barged in.

Goku's mouth started to open to ask, undoubtedly, a stupid question. But before he could say anything, Sanzo pulled him out of the room by the collar of his shirt. Sanzo closed the door, rather louder than he should have, and screamed back: "We'll leave later, then."

Gojyo and Hakkai smiled. Of course, they were completely embarrassed, but now they'd never have to worry about someone walking in, unexpected. They almost laughed out loud from the conversation they heard next from just outside the door.

"Sanzo?" Goku asked. Sanzo replied with silence. "Sanzo... what do you think..."

"I swear, if you finish that sentence, I will gag and hog tie you and throw you in a closet to rot."

They heard no reply, which meant Goku did not like the idea of being tied up and thrown in a closet.

"Hey," Gojyo started, "that sounds like fun."

Hakkai stayed facing the door. "What?"

"Can I gag and tie you up?" Gojyo asked with a mysterious smile on his lips.

Hakkai turned around to look at Gojyo. He flashed one of his infamous smiles.

"Only if you promise to lock the door."