Yes yes, I don't own anything in the Potterverse, yada yada...

"Aw, come on, Lils, are you ever going to ease up on this boy?" asked Emily, upon hearing about Lily's encounter with Potter that morning. "Sounds just like he was trying to be nice for once, complimenting you and all…"

For this comment Emily earned a vicious glare from Lily.

"Well, I think you're wrong, Emily. I know how Potter's mind works! One second he'll be all kind and sweet, and then the next, my homework's been bewitched so that all of my "f's" and "d's" get mixed up…" Lily said darkly.

"Well that doesn't sound that bad…"

"Oh yeah?" shot back Lily. "You try getting back an essay that was supposed to be about "How to Duck a Spell," see how much of a laugh it is then."

Emily laughed.

Up at the Quidditch pitch, the sound of laughter caught James' attention, and his head jerked towards the two feminine figures navigating around the lake.

"Honestly mate, if it's so distracting, go on and talk to her!" shouted Sirius exasperatedly; Sirius' perfectly good pass had been wasted because of James' short attention span.

"What's that, Padfoot?" called James, tearing his eyes away from the lake. "Oh…" he said, noticing the plummeting Quaffle.

"James. Go," said Sirius, as James resurfaced with the large red ball clutched under his arm.

James shot him a grin and tossed the ball over to Peter, who was nearest.

"Be back soon," James said with a wink, and flew off.

On the Quidditch pitch, Peter showed signs of wanting to follow James to the other pair.

"Now now, Wormtail!" said Sirius in a falsely serious voice. "Leave the canoodling with Emily until later, I say!"

Pettigrew stared after James beadily for a moment or two nonetheless.

"Let's see what other kinds of fun we can think of," said Sirius, his usual wicked grin in place.

Severus Snape was stalking across the grounds, his nose in a book.

"Leave this one to me," said Sirius, zooming down to Snape, leaving Peter to trail along in his wake.

On the other side of the lake, Emily noticed James approaching before Lily did.

"Uh oh, Evans, don't look now. Bad news, eight o'clock."

Lily spun around, a look of pure venom fixed upon her face.

"Lily! Ignore him! That way," Emily pointed out, "he'd be more prone to go away…"

"I'm practicing nonverbal magic, kind of like how we're supposed to be doing!" Lily snapped.

And as she said this, Emily saw Lily's hand tighten around her wand in her pocket.

"Lils, don't do it!" Emily cried. "You'll get yourself in trouble, and term's just barely started!"

"Oh rubbish, Emily, Potter's too obsessed with me to report me about anything,"

At this moment James drew level with the girls, who were still stopped and facing him.

"G'day… er… ladies," said James rather awkwardly; this immediate display of their full attention threw him off a bit.

"So, Lily dearest!" James ploughed on, recovering. "I was simply wondering, and you know this isn't the first or last time I ask, if you will do me the greatest honour…," he paused, "… of going out with me."

Lily put her vacant hand on her hip and surveyed James.

"Potter," she said sharply.

"Call me James, darling," he said smoothly.

"Whatever," she shot back. "Tell me boy, just how many times since the beginning of our… magical… relationship, would you say you've asked me out?"

"Well, it's hard to say, love, but I believe that amount would now be more or less… two hundred… seventy five?" he said innocently.

"Two hundred and seventy five. Right. And now answer me this," she went on. "How many times out of these two hundred and seventy five offers, have I ever accepted?"

"Well, er, none…" said James sheepishly.

"And I suppose you think today's your lucky day?" she inquired.

"Well, it depends!" said James, growing impatient.

"On what?" she said, clearly enjoying his frustration.

"On if you decided if it was time to lighten up a bit!" he shot at her, but he immediately regretted doing so.

"Lightened up a bit, eh?" she said as her green eyes widened dangerously. "Well, if you consider lightening up pulling ridiculous pranks and goofing off all the time for your friends, then you can count me OUT!"

And with her final bellowed word, she whipped out her wand and silently summoned the most horrific Bat Bogey Hex that she could muster.

For Lily, the sight of James zooming off in a panic with flapping mucous covering his whole head was worth the guilt she felt at rejecting Potter's alleged "two hundred and seventy fifth" attempt at asking her out.

Lilyastonished herself for feeling anything except resentment towards Potter. Yet, there it was, a great lump of guilt, weighing down in her stomach like a small slab of metal.

Lily was surprised that night, that after checking and re-checking her homework, it was immaculately written. She unexpectedly found that none of her food was bewitched to taste like dragon brains or rat droppings. She was furthermore shocked to find just before bed, that her appearance was unaltered, not so much as a freckle seemed misshapen, discolored, or misplaced. Indeed, it seemed as though James Potter had resisted retaliation.

Her guilt worsened at this discomforting thought.