Authors Note: The summer after his Fifth year is going to be hard for our young hero, but it is time for the knight to suit himself up for the upcoming war, will he be a pawn of his headmasters schemes, or will he make his own chessboard and fight the Black king (First Ever attempt at Fan Fiction, will be H/G eventually, powerful Harry with loads of surprises)

Chapter 2 – Of problems and Hedwig

Many things were going through our young hero's mind at the moment, from a third persons view point, it would look like he was admiring the view, but in actuality he was lost in his own thoughts and plagued by his inner demons.

"Why did I go to the ministry that night, why didn't I listen to Hermione, why did I believe that vision, why didn't Dumbledore warn me beforehand…" many questions arose in his mind, every day he would ask himself hoping an answer would come from somewhere which would help improve his mood, but alas none came. The grieve of losing his godfather was slowing killing him from inside, he felt he had matured far ahead of his siblings, things such as Quidditch mattered little to him at the moment, the only thing he wanted was to make those who ruined his life pay, he didn't care how he would do it but he only wanted revenge.

His owl hooted sadly understanding her masters distress, Harry looked at her and smiled "I am sorry I ignored you girl, tell you what why don't you go out and hunt for something and then we will sit and talk" even though he knew he must be sounding crazy trying to start a conversation with his owl, but for some reason he felt very close to his second friend he ever had after Hagrid obviously, Hedwig hooted once and flew out of the window.

Harry got up from his bed where he had been sitting on or the last hour or two lost in his thoughts, and opened his previous years books, "Might as well do something useful if I ever plan on fighting with Voldemorts stooges". He had already finished his 1st through 4th years books in the first 2 days, of arriving at his relatives home, he studied non stop since studying made him forget about his problems and his dismal future. "maybe I should ask Professor Dumbledore whether he could lend me some books", but then he squashed that thought out of his mind remembering how the old man had been using Harry as a pawn all these years and making up excuses for not answering his questions, he remembered all to well that he asked the headmaster, when he was in the infirmary after defeating Quirril in his first year, why Voldemort was defeated by him, and the old man avoided his eyes and told him he would answer later when Harry grew up, and he had the nerve of saying that Harry deserved to enjoy his youth, "What does the old man think that every kid goes through killing Basilisks and producing patronuses while they are in their school" said Harry in a very angry tone, unknown to him whenever he was angry there was a slight cackling in the air like too many static particles had surrounded him.

Trying to control his temper by breathing slowly Harry says "Better get back to the books before I get more angry and take it out on the Dursleys". The Dursley's for the first time in his whole life tried to be nice to him, "Maybe they finally realized I am not to be messed around with", but broke that line of thought remembering the warning they got from Harry friends and Mad eye Moody.

Remembering he had to write to the order every 3 days, Harry took out a parchment and wrote

To Whom It May Concern:

I am fine; Muggles are behaving themselves, will send next letter in 3 days.

Bye

Even though he didn't want to sound rude, he hardly cared at the moment, he didn't ask to be mothered all the time, even though it was sweet at times when Mrs. Weasley did it, but right now he just wanted to be left alone to his thoughts. He put aside the letter to send it whenever Hedwig came back; he sat down to return to his books.

Hedwig returned three hours later, Harry sat down and starting talking to Hedwig while stroking her, he told everything to her about losing his godfather, his nightmares about Cedric and the ministry, fear of losing those who he held dear, she listened attentively, and whenever he was on the verge of tears, she would nip his ear in a affectionate manner, and stroke her head with his cheek showing her love for him. "I don't know how I would survive without you girl, sometimes in this room I feel like I should end my life, and end this pain, but then seeing you I remember I still have lot to live for, my friends for example, and it is still my duty to rid the world of the monster of a dark lord, and if I fall the world falls with me, I cant do that can I girl". Hedwig nodded in an understanding manner, "I wish you could talk to me you know, I feel you can understand and thanks, wish I could call for you whenever I want, in school I neglect you so much and still you are so understanding, thank you Hedwig, I really love you a lot", Hedwig started to stroke his cheek telling in her own way that she loved her master too. "Well its late now and I need to get back to studying, can you send this to the order, who ever you can find, can you do that girl?", Hedwig nodded and put her foot forward so that Harry could tie the letter there, then she gave him a another peck on his ear and flew off.