Huzzah for Ghost in the Shell! I have no notion where this idea came from, but it was amusing enough to get me to write it down. So here you are, a bit of GitS fanfic for your reading pleasure.
Disclaimer: Not mine. It's been a while since I saw the series, so please forgive me if some tiny factoids are wrong, thanks!
It was late. Very late. Strangely, this didn't seem to bother him. He'd been up later than this before, checking out case files, tracking down criminals. It wasn't like any of this was new.
Except one little thing. The police force, despite being technically inclined, were not in the habit of employing fully cyberized humans. Hell, Tougusa thought, shifting for what was probably the twentieth time in five minutes, the police think fifty percent machine is pushing it. Personally, he didn't have a problem with it. The major and Batou interacted normally with other humans – well, as normal as could be expected, considering they were the first and second in command of an elite military group – but in any case, that wasn't the point. The point was, they were fully cyberized, and he was not. Processors for brains, metal for muscle; shit, he hadn't even seen them eating in the four months since he'd been recruited.
Well, that would explain a lot. If it didn't go in, it wouldn't need to go…
No. He wouldn't think about it. That was the best way, really, just get his mind off of it. Still, getting his mind off of it was nearly impossible when one considered that their 'client' (as Batou had so charmingly put it) seemed to be a fan of water gardens. He could hear the gurgle and splash of water clearly through the grey noise of cars on the highway behind them.
Grimacing, he suppressed a groan. This was not how he had intended to carry out his first stake-out with the Major and Batou. He had hoped that, for once, he would actually look competent beside them. I should not have had that tea, he thought morosely, I was so worried about dehydrating in this heat…
"Tougusa!"
His eyes snapped open to find the Major and Batou peering at him from their places. "Er…," he said, not sure how to respond to such a hiss.
"What in the world is the matter?" she asked, voice kept low.
"N-nothing Major. I'm fine," Tougusa said, and congratulated himself on the lie. It had sounded passable, even to him.
"Don't give me that bullshit," Motoko said flatly.
Batou grinned, "You look like an impatient kid," he said in his usual jovial manner.
Tougusa glanced down and realized that he had unconsciously crossed his legs slightly where he stood. "No, really, I'm fine," he said, making sure he did not wince as he stood normally.
The major eyed him carefully, "If something's wrong with one of my team members," she said severely, "I need to know. Now out with it, Tougusa."
"Nothing's wrong!" the ex-cop said, raising his hands defensively, "Everything is working fine, I swear." Maybe a little too well, he thought to himself as there was a splash from the complex they were watching.
There was a long silence. Another splash drifted to their ears, and this time he couldn't stop himself from wincing.
"Tougusa." The major's voice was extremely sharp.
"M'amm?"
"If you need to go to the bathroom, use the wall. It's not like we're trying to keep the place spotless."
He could feel his face warm, and was glad that it was dark. Nodding his thanks, he tried to shuffle away with at least a bit of his dignity.
"Oh, and Tougusa," Motoko said, seeming determined to dissolve any pride he had left, "Next time, ask Batou for a portable."
Stopping, Tougusa blinked. So that was how those two did it! He'd heard about the contraptions, but police stakes had never been quite long enough to merit their use. And here he'd thought they just went without. Cursing his stupidity, he ran a hand through his hair, trying not to imagine the grin on Batou's face. "Portables," he said dejectedly, "Right."
And thus, Zuri disappears from fandom for another month or so. Ta!