Don't you just love it when a story practically writes itself? I do, especially when it's so close to being done. : D Remember folks, drink 'n eat responsibly when reading fanfics.

Lady Halaia -But does Smallville have a McDonalds? Very good question and here's my answer...yes, I believe it would. I believe it would because in the show we really only see a few key streets in the town, but the billboard says there's like 45,000 people that live there. Fallon, NV where one of my sisters lives has less than 8,000 people and they have a McDonalds. In Oak Harbor, WA where another sister lives there's less than 20,000 people and they've one as well. I figured it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to imagine that there was some form of fast food in a city that large. But excellent question, got me thinking. : D

Clark could only blink in stunned astonishment when Lex reeled off a laundry list of pizzas and side orders. When he asked what party was it all for Lex just gave him one of those secret smiles that rarely graced his face for anyone else. The car ride back to the mansion went pretty fast once Lex started to reveal that not only did he chase him down to make sure he was all right after his earlier visit but had also called his mom. His mom directed him to the Talon, and from there to the Torch.

"I can't believe you managed to escape the clutches of Chloe on a Meteor-Madness spree without having to promise or submit to an interview," Clark marveled.

"I even got Pete to laugh," Lex sounded pleased with that result, it soothed his earlier pain at his two close friends not getting along. If Lex managed to get Pete to laugh at something he had said then there was hope yet.

"That's quite an accomplishment," Clark grinned at Lex when he saw Lex's face break out into a real smile.

"It's all part of my nefarious plot to take over the world," he nodded, his voice solemn. A sidelong wink before he threw in, "It's in the manual, you know. Have to get a Ross to defect to the Luthor side before I can qualify as a genius super villain to a superhero. Otherwise I'm just a regular type of villain. Once that's done it's just a matter of steps before I can take over the world. Figured since Pete was the youngest…"

"Oh yeah? What sort of steps?" He couldn't wait to hear this.

"Well once I get assigned a superhero then I have to put in a minimum of six months of intense research to learn all about them," he expounded.

"Them?"

"Well I could luck out and get assigned a knockout super heroine. Its just polite to stay gender neutral at this stage."

"True," Clark conceded. "And then?"

"Once I've learned about their strengths and weaknesses through a series of insidious plots that put the general populous at risk, I then must design more devious plots to reveal either their secret identity or friends that could be used as leverage. These plots would have to escalate in danger to both the hero and the people eventually putting the whole world at risk."

Huh, Clark thought. He wanted to hear more of this side of Lex, "What sort of plots?"

Lex grinned at Clark, "I couldn't possibly tell you, what if the superhero found out that you knew me? They could trick you into giving up my secrets; convince you that it would be in my best interests if you would only help them. Best I keep that to myself, for your own safety."

Clark blinked in surprise at hearing one of his own reasons for not sharing his secret with people used on himself, "My own safety?"

"That's right…now where was I? Oh yes, steps. So, while I occupy the superhero, I'd devise and institute several plots to simultaneously discredit said hero and put myself in favor with the general public. Achieve a position of authority, like a Senatorial Seat and then Presidency. From there it really wouldn't be that difficult to make a move on the world."

"How can you be so sure that the hero would fall for it?" Clark couldn't help but bait Lex, especially since he seemed so earnest in his speech.

Lex turned towards Clark and gave him a look like Clark had suggested that their fathers enjoyed the other's father's company…intimately. "Of course they'd fall for it! They always do, Warrior Angel Comics proves it many times over." Lex's right hand drifted off the gearshift as he waved it to emphasize his point, "All the villain has to do is tell the hero that they give up, see the error of their ways, but that they need the hero to help them stay on the path. The hero would be so overjoyed that they've managed to save the villain from evil that they'd accept the offer of dinner and a planning session to review their operations to clean house. Once there, they'd be completely at the villain's mercy. Like Dark Helmet said, "Evil will always triumph because good is dumb."

Clark snickered, "You're such a dork, Lex." It was nice to see that Lex had a goofy side, even hidden away as it was. To see that Lex was comfortable enough with him to share, it made him feel warm inside.

"Yeah, that's what you think," Lex chuckled as he eased his car past the security gates and started up the drive to the garage.

Lex helped him carry their food into the house and took all but two pizzas in the kitchen for later before leading him to the second floor entertainment room. It was one of his favorite rooms in the castle. Lex said that there were larger entertainment rooms with better equipment, but this was the one he preferred because it seemed more 'Lex' than the others did. More personal, private, made it easier to pull Lex away from the isolated position he held himself to when dealing with people.

"I think Spaceballs can be the starting movie for tonight," Lex imperiously announced after Clark made himself comfortable on the floor leaning against the couch. He watched as Lex set up the DVD player and made his way to join him on the floor.

"Can't go wrong with Mel Brooks," Clark agreed as he and Lex watched the movie.

By the time the end credits had rolled Clark was complaining of aching ribs from laughing too much at Lex who had performed Dark Helmet's scene with his dolls complete with voices and hand motions. He was in near tears when Lex had offered to get his Dark Helmet and Princess Vespa action figures and redo the scene "as it should be performed." Clark could almost envision Lex as Dark Helmet, though he didn't want to share that inspired bit of warped baldness-inspired visualization.

Clark slumped over to his side and looked at Lex with watery eyes as he gasped between chortles, "You're such a dork!" He looked at Lex's grinning visage, "You really do have the action figures?"

"Of course, it's one of my favorite movies," Lex rolled his eyes at the obviousness of that answer.

Lex pulled himself up onto the couch and flipped off the entertainment center. "So can you do the sound effects like Michael Winslow? Or is it just voices?"

Clark stood and resettled on the couch with Lex once he composed himself, "Just voices." It was then that the grandfather clock chimed eight times. With a sudden look of horror that crossed his face he realized that he had missed dinner, "Oh god! I told mom I'd be home for dinner!"

Before Clark could jump off the couch Lex had placed a hand over his arm, "Clark, she didn't expect you back for dinner, that's why I bought all that food. Though you should call her to let her know that you're okay."

Clark nodded and moved to use the phone to call his mom. By the time he finished his call Lex had more of the food brought into the room and he happily announced that his mom said he could spend the night. With a gesture Lex drew Clark's attention to the food that had been brought in while he was busy on the phone.

"So tell me, how does one go about impersonating people?"

"Well, I usually practice with people's voices that I hear most often. Pete, my dad, Whitney…your dad," Clark sheepishly added the last one.

Lex smirked, "You practice with my dad's voice?"

"He gives people plenty of reasons to be angry with him, myself included," Clark turned his gaze towards the food, hoping to avoid the blush he could feel creeping up his neck.

Lex bit into a piece of pizza as he hummed his agreement with Clark's description of his father. Once he took a drink of his water Lex added, "I can't blame you for that assessment of my father. He lives to piss people off, it's the Luthor way, and someone's bound to be angry at one of us because of it." He waved off Clark's immediate need to reassure and sooth as he continued, "Don't worry about it Clark, it's something I've grown used to."

"You shouldn't have had to grown used to it, Lex, it's not right," Clark offered before getting himself another slice of pizza.

"So do you just repeat what you've heard them say? Or do you do other things?" Lex's grin was easy going as he tried to get Clark to open up.

"Sorta," he hedged. "Take your dad, I'd make him say stuff when he did things that pissed me off. To make me feel better, you know?"

Blue-gray eyes focused on Clark in interest as he leaned closer to him, like sharing a secret, "What sort of stuff did you make him say? Or would you feel more comfortable just repeating what he usually says?"

Clark could feel his face blazing across his cheeks. The conversation he had overheard earlier still rolling around inside, unspent, his usual rituals of venting interrupted before he could finish. He cleared his throat nervously before he opened his mouth and Lionel's voice filled the room, "Honestly, Lex, you're a Luthor, and Luthors don't need friends." Clark had closed his eyes as he continued, unable to look at Lex while he spoke, "Your emotional attachment to these people will never cease to amaze me." He waited in anxious uncertainty for Lex's reaction.