John shook in his sleep, the dream so realistic:
Sitting outside by the jumbo mart I watched her run out into the ambulance bay. I had just bought myself a coffee, hoping it would keep me awake long enough to finish my shift. Yeah it tasted like garbage, but what were we supposed to do? Staple our eyelids open? I took a sip as I watched you walk off the curb. I knew you hadn't checked to see if the street was clear. I yelled at you to get back on the curb as soon as I had seen the car headlights hit your white jacket. You didn't hear me…. I watched as you crossed the street in pure terror, I closed my eyes waiting to hear the screeching of brakes, but there was none, just a deathly thump. I opened my eyes and saw you lying in a crumpled heap, your body motionless. Susan had seen the whole thing as well, except she had reacted better than I and got a gurney. We gently laid your fragile body on top of it, and wheeled you inside. I checked your breaths, but there were none to check. Your heart stopped, the deadening silence was all I needed to know you were gone, but they decided to try anyway.
I watched as Dr. Corday tried to fix all of your internal injuries. When the X-rays came back we all knew it was time to stop. Your ribs had been smashed, the same to your pelvis. You had internal bleeding, and both of your lungs collapsed. I watched as Susan went to check your eyes, your beautiful chocolate brown eyes, and when she said something was draining out of your ear I knew that you were brain dead. I finally shouted you were gone, and nothing would ever bring you back as I stormed out of the room. I sat on the bench across from the blue trauma room. I watched as Elizabeth called your death, her accent shaking as she fought back the tears. I watched Susan begin to clean you up before walking out of the room and telling me the news I had been expecting. The still form that laid on the gurney was no longer home to your wonderful soul, just a shell.
When I walked back into the room, I wanted to wash you, make sure you were cleaned from all of the blood, glass, and tubes that were now inserted into your body. I eventually did, I washed your brown hair from all of the blood and mud that it had collected on the ground. I washed all of your wounds, and removed all of the tubes. I sewed you up, and made sure all of the blood was gone off of your body. I toweled you off and so gingerly put a blanket over you. It was a hard painstaking task, but just a labor of love I wouldn't have done for anyone other than you.
I could have stopped it, I could have saved you, but I was to damn busy drinking my coffee to get up and walk over to you. I was to busy wondering if you liked me just as much as I liked you, or if our relationship would be anymore than just co-workers after the whole letter I had sent you. It was my fault that you had died, nobody else's, just mine.
"John, are you alright?" he heard Susan's voice. Opening his eyes he was greeted to a very hung over Susan. "Um… Yeah Sure…." John said sitting up. "John you were talking in your sleep, it's not your fault with what happened, it was nobody's just an accident that no one could have prevented." Susan said looking into John's brown bloodshot eyes. John nodded; the words meant nothing he had watched the woman he loved get struck and killed by a car who had an owner that didn't even stop. It was his entire fault and nothing that people said or did would ever change that. Not now, not ever. Shaking his head John stood up, and looked at the clock. "I have ten minutes till my shift? Do I look alright?" John asked. "We all look like shit, but I will drive you, we all start in ten." Susan said smiling. Kerry walked out of the bathroom, and into the kitchen looking just as hung over as Susan. "Maybe next time we should throw these parties on the weekends." Kerry said, looking at John and then back to Susan.