Hey, here's the songfic. Um, it's in Shade Strife's timeline for Black Legacies (great story, you should read it if you haven't already, and if you want to understand who the characters are and what has happened). Other than that, there's not much to it. I'd like to thank Shade for letting me use your characters and basic storyline, even though this really doesn't follow the plot of BL much. (Sorry :-s) I hope that I don't get anyone too OOC, either. If I do, then I apologize sincerely ahead of time. On with the fic!
Disclaimer: I do not own The Legend of Dragoon. It and all of its characters and places belong to Square Enix. I also do not own the characters Zion, Kaelin, Solana, Cai, Amaya, or Mariko. They belong to Shade Strife. The final thing that I do not own is the song 'Weathered' by Creed. (Phew!)
Oh, yeah, as a side note,
(...)are Dart's thoughts.
/.../ are Ragnarok's thoughts, usually used when he is conversing mentally with Dart. And Ragnarok is the Divine Dragon, BTW.
Weathered
by GundamWingFanatic90
7-29-05
I lie awake on a long, dark night
I can't seem to tame my mind
Slings and arrows are killing me inside
Maybe I can't accept the life that's mine
No I can't accept the life that's mine
I lay close to the edge of the campsite, just enough to be covered in shadows, but not enough that I could not see around me. Zion sat nearby, sharpening his sword as he kept watch for any dangers that may threaten. Solana and Cai slept near the fire; Kaelin was on the other side of the blaze, next to where Zion would be sleeping once I took the watch. Mariko and Amaya slept off to Solana's left. I swore that they were like sisters.
For once, Ragnarok was quiet, resting at the back of my mind though I knew that he would spring forth in an instant should anything threaten our camp. I, however, was not so lucky as to have such peace. No, my mind was overridden with thoughts of Shana and my old comrades, the last of which was lost to my about 4 centuries ago, give or take a few decades. The wounds I had received with each of their passings had not healed yet- with each passing day, month, year, century, I died a little more on the inside, slowly becoming completely numb to anything and everything around me. (I hope that this time, when we face the Virage Embryo, that we can completely destroy it. Maybe then I can finally rest in peace.)
Ha. Peace, rest. Those two things had eluded me for most of my life, my long 900 or so years. I could have achieved it, gained it, had I not taken on the burden of becoming the Black Monster, had I not begun to wear Rose's choker. I still hadn't fully accepted the life that I took on when I chose to carry on Rose's black legacy. Maybe a little part of me never would.
Simple living is my desperate cry
Been trading love with indifference
yeah it suits me just fine
I try to hold on but I'm calloused to the bone
Maybe that's why I feel alone
Maybe that's why I feel so alone
I'd lived simply since I first shouldered the burden: live and relax in Ulara, kill the Moon Child every 108 years, go back to Ulara, relax 'til the next one comes. From where I lay on my side, I heard Zion stop sharpening his blade, and a little later, he spoke.
"Ry?" His voice was quiet, hesitant. He obviously didn't want to wake me if I was asleep. "Ry, are you awake?" I sighed inwardly before I sat up.
"What is it, Zion?" I asked irritably, though I managed to sound like an older brother would. I had long ago given up the emotion 'love', favoring a mask of indifference so that I didn't get too attached to people. Unfortunately- or maybe fortunately, I couldn't tell which- I had warmed up to this misfit group of renegades, but I couldn't feel any more than camaraderie with them. I was too callous. Or, so I thought.
"Ry, why are you so bitter?" he asked me. "What happened in your past to make you hate everything so much? And why do you always seem angry every time a Dragoon Spirit accepts a new bearer?" (Ah. Those questions.) I knew that there was one more that he had not asked yet.
"Are those the questions you really want answers to, or is your real question 'Why do you fight alongside us?'" I countered. He froze. Blinked.
"How did you...?" he stammered after a bit. I chuckled a little bit.
"Because I once asked the exact same question." This simple statement cast me back nearly 1,000 years to my first journey, after Lavitz's death. Rose, Shana, Haschel, Albert, Miranda, Kongol, Meru... they had all passed on long ago, but I lingered on, as a vulture lingers after a battle, even far after all the fresh and rotting meat had gone. I was alone, truly alone. Now I knew how Rose felt, all those years ago.
Me…I'm rusted and weathered
Barely holding together
I'm covered with skin that peels and it just won't heal
"I guess the answer I'll have to give you, Zion, is that you all remind me of my old friends." I said, coming out of my thoughts yet again.
"But why are you so bitter?" he repeated. "If you have friends, then why are you so angry? And why aren't you with them instead of us?" I closed my eyes. Suddenly the memories of all of them dying- some real memories, and others not- flashed into my mind. As it was, my ever-present grief colored my tone with its vile taste.
"They're all dead." I said. My voice was barely a whisper, but from the expression of shock that registered across Zion's face, I knew he heard me.
"They're... they're all dead...?" This time, it was a feminine voice that spoke, drawing my eyes over to Kaelin, who was sitting up while staring at me. I sighed heavily, looking around the campsite.
"Yes, now how many of you are awake?" I said. "I know that Mariko hasn't gone to sleep, yet, and neither has Amaya. Cai and Solana, I know that you are awake- you keep fidgeting. All of you might as well stop pretending." I was too experienced in these types of things for them to fool me now, perhaps far too experienced for my own good. A chorus of sighs met my ears as the people in question all sat up, some of them looking to me, others turning away guiltily.
"How do we remind you of your friends?" Solana asked. In response, I lay back down and turned onto my side, facing away from them.
"That, Solana, is a question for another time." (I'm not ready to talk about that just yet. Sorry, everyone.)
"Ry..." Amaya murmured from behind me. I ignored her.
The sun shines and I can't avoid the light
I think I'm holding on to life too tight
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust
Sometimes I feel like giving up
Sometimes I feel like giving up
Only a couple of days later, and we were in the town of Bale again. I had seen it once before, a few weeks back, but it still surprised me a small bit by how huge it was compared to how it was when Albert was the King of Serdio. I hid my astonishment behind my familiar mask of indifference and walked on after a second. The sun overhead beat down on us mercilessly- it was one of the unavoidable aspects of traveling on the open plains- but it did nothing to warm my soul like it once had, when Shana and the rest of my old companions were around still. Back then, I had at least held some semblance of hope that I wasn't alone. Now that hope was gone.
"Ry... Ry...! Ry!" I barely registered someone calling my false name, and I blinked a couple of times before focusing on Zion and Kaelin. They were looking at me weirdly. I hoped I hadn't been thinking aloud. The last time I did that, I had nearly been killed.
"What?" I asked gruffly, still grumpy from my lack of sleep the night before. They exchanged sideways glances.
"Well, we were wondering if you wanted to get a drink with us at the tavern when we got there, but if you'd rather not..." Zion started, trailing off and leaving my imagination to do the rest. It didn't actually sound like a request. Now I was getting suspicious, and I nodded warily before glancing around at the rest of the group. Aha. As I thought. Solana and Cai were innocently chatting away to my right, but I had definitely caught a less-than-subtle glance my way. I turned my gaze to Amaya and Mariko. Amaya's unsupposing look might have fooled even Kaelin, but I had had nearly 1,000 years of practice, 26 of those shared with Shana's 'innocent' impressions. After those, I could see through almost any façade, and Amaya's was definitely fake. Mariko kept sending me glances whenever she thought I wasn't watching. (Keh. They're all in on it. Even so, I think I'll play along.)
"Fine, but you're paying." I said. (Maybe I should loosen up just a little, but I'll think I'll keep my guard up instead. I need to live long enough to at least kill the Virage Embryo permanently.)
/Dart, what are you thinking/ came Ragnarok's growl in my head. /If you get drunk, you might spill everything that you've tried to keep secret for so long/
(Shut up, Arkie.) I retorted, continuing on my way so as to not arouse the suspicion of the others. (I won't let myself get drunk, or at least not enough to spill anything that might give us away.)
/Uh-huh, the last time you said that was 250 years ago, and by the end of the night, you were dancing on the rooftops of Ulara, singing something along the lines of 'I'll be waiting for you, if you still believe in love', or something similar./ he countered. His voice was deadpan, and when he fell silent, I blinked. This was news to me.
(I don't remember that...) I said to him, glancing down to make sure that I didn't step in any holes or anything. (Are you sure you aren't delusional, Ark?) He snorted.
/I'm a Dragoon Spirit, dimwit, I can't get sick or anything of that caliber./ I rolled my eyes at his antics, and kept walking, my thoughts taking a turn down a darker road. (Maybe I'm holding onto this life too tightly. Maybe Ark's right. Maybe I should just take off the choker.) Then I spotted a Mantis up ahead. (Or maybe I just need to kill something, blow off some steam.)
"I'll be right back." was all I said to the rest of them before striding forward, drawing my sword. They blinked a couple of times, but I didn't notice, instead jogging forward to meet my foe. It attempted to attack me, but I dodged and slashed diagonally across my body to my lower left before bringing it back up the way it came. After that, I followed up with a diagonal slash from my right to my upper left, a vertical slash downwards, a spinning hack across the monster's midsection, another diagonal slash to my left, which continued into a kick, and then I leapt into the air and did a flip, finally bringing my blade down to bear on the Mantis' head, effectively ending its life while I cried, "Blazing Dynamo!" into the mid-afternoon air. In the end, I felt much better, though my sword was covered in muck from the creature, but that could be easily fixed.
/I think that was overkill./ Ragnarok mused amusedly to himself. /You're getting better at this, Dart./ I snorted derisively.
(You're one to talk.) I noticed the others catching up to me. They were staring at where the Mantis used to be, though Zion and Amaya also looked appraisingly at me, too.
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust." I muttered to them as I wiped my blade on the hem of my coat. "One more enemy out of our way." And with that, I spun on my heel, continuing on in the direction of the now very close Bale. Without a word, I pulled the collar of my coat up to hide my face and the choker slightly better, and I took off my bandana to re-fold it into a triangle shape before tying it around my head again, like I remembered Lenus the Wingly wearing hers. Now, at least, it hid my wily hair, though it really wasn't my style. I heard someone snicker behind me, and I scowled, turning around to see Kaelin, Amaya, Solana, and Mariko all giggling on varying levels of intensity. Zion snorted loudly when he saw me, though Cai was much nicer, preferring to simply raise an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes, and continued onwards.
(I'm so tired of this, I could puke.) I was ready to give up on the whole journey, right there. But I didn't. I was sorry to say it, but the promise of a good, free drink kept me with them. Besides, I'd probably feel better after one, anyways. A sudden thought struck me. (Yeesh. I'm starting to sound like Haschel. That's probably not a good thing.)
Me…I'm rusted and weathered
Barely holding together
I'm covered with skin that peels and it just won't heal
I headed to the tavern after we visited the weapons shop and did some haggling. As it turned out, the others had to run some other errands, so I was alone. I walked into the dimly-lit bar, smelling the acrid scent of the pipe smoke that hung like a fog around the ceiling. With a pang, I realized that this was the same bar that Lavitz had said that we would get a drink in after the Sandora-Basil war. My heart wrenched again, and I nearly had to exit before I threw up from the grief. Thankfully, I was able to fight down the bile, and I took a seat at one of the back tables in a corner, one wreathed in shadows. Soon, a brown-haired serving-maid in a white and blue dress came over.
"Hey, there, stranger." she said. She was quiet, but polite, if a little on the cheerful side. She reminded me of Shana. She even looked like Shana, and that wasn't necessarily a good thing. "What'll you be having tonight?" The corners of my mouth twitched upwards a little in a ghost of a smile.
"I'll have whatever strong ale you've got." I replied, handing her some Gil. She smiled, took the money, and shifted off to the bar counter for my ale. I waited in the darkness for only a couple of minutes, letting my mind go blank, before she returned. Setting the ale down in front of me, she occupied the chair to my right. At my raised eyebrow, she smiled sadly.
"I'm Serena." she said, taking my hand and shaking it before putting her hands on the table in front of her. "You look a little like my late husband." I blinked, my attention focusing on her even as Zion and Kaelin entered the bar and sat down. Luckily, they kept quiet, seeming to want to listen in on this conversation.
"Really? What was his name?" I asked.
"Dart." she replied, causing my mind to briefly register my shock before she spoke again. "He was named after one of the heroes from the Second Dragon Campaign, the Red-Eye and Divine Dragoon, Dart Feld. Have you ever heard of Dart Feld?" I smiled faintly, nodding, causing her to grin.
"That's good." She almost seemed relieved as she said this. "Most people don't know anything about him."
"Well, I know him better than a lot of people do. Much, much better." I said. She looked surprised for a second, and then her smile returned.
"Do you know what happened to him?" she asked. I could tell that she was very, very interested. "Most I know about him, and what most people know nowadays, is that he just disappeared. Vanished into the mists of time." I actually managed to laugh slightly.
"That's about what happened to him." I said, taking a long drag of my ale before continuing. "He traveled to Bale, was captured by King Albert, his friend, and then escaped a couple of hours later via unknown means. After that, he sailed over the sea and traveled into the Death Frontier. He was never seen again. That's a lot of what I know. I also heard, though, that they say that his ghost has been spotted every now and then, all around the world. They also say that everyone that sees his ghost has been killed ruthlessly." I felt a small bit of pride at my small lie, seeing Zion, Kaelin, and Serena's wide-eyed stares.
"Wow, really?" she asked. "I wanna see him, then!" I found myself blinking again.
"Huh? Why?" I asked. She met my eyes, her own wide, as if it was obvious.
"I want to see what he looks like, of course." she replied. I blinked yet again, almost not comprehending what I was hearing.
"You mean that you're not scared?" I asked. She nodded, but a shout from the bar turned her attention away.
"Shana, get back to work!" the bartender called. I blinked, and then my brow furrowed, my face forming a frown as I looked to the barmaid in front of me.
"'Shana', huh?" I asked incredulously. She laughed, and I detected a hint of nervousness in her voice.
"That's my first name, but only close friends and family call me that. Serena is my middle name." she supplied before turning to Zion and Kaelin.
"What would you two like tonight?" Serena asked, but I didn't hear the answers, losing myself in my thoughts and taking another long drink of ale. The wounds of the past had appeared again, and they wouldn't disappear any time soon.
The day reminds me of you
The night hides your truth
The earth is a voice
Speaking to you
Take all this pride
And leave it behind
Because one day it ends
One day we die
Believe what you will
That is your right
But I choose to win
So I choose to fight
To fight
I had always thought of Shana, my Shana, as being a person like the day: bright, warm, and always providing some kind of happiness. And here I was, at the tavern, being served ale by someone who resembled my Shana not only in outward looks, but also in her attitude, voice, and mannerisms. Not to mention that she shared the same name as my beloved wife. Shana Serena. (Shana Serena Feld.) Lost in my thoughts, I didn't exactly register when Zion started calling my name until my shoulder was roughly shaken.
"Ry?" he asked. I blinked a few times, my eyes refocusing as much as possible before I drained the rest of my mug in one gulp.
"Yeah?" I asked. After my third mug of ale, my words were beginning to slur, my vision beginning to blur, and my thoughts were beginning to stir. (They probably planned this all along.)
"What are you thinking about?" he asked. I shrugged.
"Not much. Just things long past." I replied. (Maybe it wouldn't hurt to tell them about Shana, if I don't mention her name.)
/Probably not a good idea, Dart./ Ragnarok cautioned in my mind. /They're probably smart enough to figure it out, you know. Unfortunately, you can't kill them if they know too much./ I ignored him.
"What kind of things?" Kaelin questioned.
"My wife, mostly." I replied. They both bore expressions of utter shock on their faces for awhile after that.
"Y... You were married...?" she finally stammered. I nodded, finally noticing that her words were slurred terribly.
"Yes. She died a long time ago, though."
"What was she like?" Zion asked. "What did she look like?" I smiled softly, but sadly, the memories of Shana coming back to me. (Shana smiling, Shana crying, Shana fighting monsters alongside me.)
"She was very sweet, very kind." I replied at long last, taking another swig of my ale. "When she fought, she used a bow and arrow. She was very fierce and determined when she was like that. Outside of battle, she was so loving and caring, the kindest person I knew. In a way, she was naïve, but that innocence is what made her who she was. And I loved her for it." I let out a breath, closing my eyes and leaning back in my chair, crossing my left arm over my chest as I swirled my ale around in the mug in my right hand. I took another drink before continuing, "She had brown hair that went to about the middle of her back, and warm brown eyes that had an almost reddish tinge to them."
"What was her name?" Zion asked gently. He seemed genuinely interested, and maybe a little concerned. I was silent for a moment, hoping that maybe they would think I had passed out drunk, but a second later, when they didn't leave or digress into another topic, I knew that I had to answer.
"Shana Serena." I whispered. A crash from my left caused me to blearily open my eyes, only to see that Kaelin had passed out- I could tell that she wasn't faking, from experience- and Zion was blinking at me. (They must not have high alcohol tolerance.) My gaze continued to travel over to where the barmaid, Serena, was staring unabashedly at me. Her eyes were wide, and held something of recognition in them. My gaze and hearing roaming more, I noticed that the bartender and several of the other patrons had frozen in what they were doing, identical shocked expressions to Serena's displayed across what I could see of their faces. With a sigh, I drained the rest of my tankard and rose to my feet. I subtly observed them, as I shook Kaelin's shoulder to wake her up. One thing that I noticed all of them had in common was that all of the men wore gauntlets with one large stone in them. The stones themselves were different colors, the colors in question being red, green, green, violet, gold, and grey, respectively. The females of the group all wore chokers, well-concealed by various means. Their colors ranged in the order of white, blue, red, and black. I hadn't checked the barmaid, Serena, yet, but I didn't really attempt to look.
/So much for keeping her name a secret, idiot./ Ragnarok was grumbling in the back of my mind. Again, I ignored him, instead concentrating on helping Kaelin stand up. Just as I got her up, Zion passed out on the table. Growling about how I was the only man with any semblance of alcohol tolerance at all around here, I slapped him upside the head to rouse him, and then I hoisted him up, slinging his arm across my shoulders, on top of Kaelin's. My vision blurred slightly, making it nearly impossible to see more than 5 feet in front of my nose, but I made my way to the door. On my way, I passed the still-frozen barmaid.
"Meet me at midnight at the House of the Fallen Knight, if you catch my drift. Come alone." I whispered so that only she could hear, and then I walked on, noticing her own choker as I went. It was white.
I struggled through the darkened streets of Bale, attempting to keep two very drunk young people on their feet even as I thought a little, using my multitasking skills to their best. I had known from Serena's second sentence that she was hiding something from me; now I had very strong suspicions on what it was. She was not a barmaid, not at all. I had recognized the chokers on each girl's neck in that bar- even though they were different colors, they were the same as the one that I wore around my own neck. She was Shana Serena Feld, my supposedly long-dead wife. I felt it down in my bones, and where my heart once rested. It was her.
Before I knew it, I was approaching the inn, and I could see Cai coming out to help me with Zion and Kaelin. The Gold Dragoon gave me an odd look when he reached me, but took the Red-Eye Dragoon from me, anyways, before I spoke.
"I think I'm probably the only one out of everyone here that has any alcohol tolerance whatsoever." I said, a hint of amusement in my voice. Cai laughed slightly.
"Maybe you and I should have a drink after this is over, then." he said. I flinched slightly at the challenge, but Cai didn't notice it.
"Yeah, maybe." I replied. "I'll bet I can beat you in a contest." A hint of mischief. He laughed again.
"Later, Ry. Right now, we all need some rest." he retorted. I rolled my eyes and hoisted Kaelin higher up over my shoulder, and we all made our way into the inn, to get some semblance of sleep.
Later that night, I awoke myself where I was dozing in a chair by the window, and looked out at the position of the natural moon. It was now around midnight. Silently I hoisted myself out of the chair and pulled on my boots before taking my sword in one hand and stealing out into the dark of the Serdian night. For a second, I ducked into a side alley, and watched the front door of the inn carefully to make sure that I was not being followed by any of the others. When I was sure that none had woken up, I slipped out of the alley and walked to Lavitz's old house. My vision had returned to normal by now, minus a small headache that I felt coming on, but even so, I could not see the 'barmaid' anywhere around the place. It was a clear night, a cool night, though it was dark. Long ago I had given up most of my pride, but I was still slightly offended and disappointed when she wasn't there. (Maybe I was wrong about her... Maybe she's not my Shana.)
/You know, that's probably the smartest thing you've said all night./ Ragnarok muttered.
(Shut up, Arkie.) I could almost feel him cringe at Charle's pet name for him, but I ignored him. (I'll wait just a few more minutes. If she shows, then I'll know that she's my Shana. She's the only one who would know what I was talking about, anyways.) After a few more minutes, she still hadn't shown up. (Ok, forget the maybes. This isn't her.)
/Gee, you think/
(Shut up, smartass.) I hissed to him, turning to walk away. (I shouldn't have ever gotten my hopes up. I'm so stupid!) At the moment, I was furious with myself for having thought that maybe there had been a way for her to have been alive. (There's no way that she could be alive. I saw her die all those years ago!) I was concentrating on berating my self so much that I nearly didn't notice Ark's attempts to get my attention until it was almost too late.
/Dart! She's behind you/ he exclaimed, startling me. I froze as I set my foot down again, only now hearing the footsteps that were approaching behind me with an all-too-familiar gait. Slowly, I turned, and then I was stunned again as our eyes met. Standing in front of me was an exact replica of my late wife, just as she had been the last time I had seen her alive and healthy. For several long moments, we simply stared at each other. Finally, she spoke.
"Dart?" she asked. "Is it really you?" Her voice was barely a whisper, but it carried all the way over to me, causing me to chuckle lowly.
"Depends on which Dart you are speaking of." was my counter. Her expression took on an almost desperate tone.
"Are you Dart Feld?" My mind went blank, and I was sure that my expression must have mimicked my shock. My breathing quickened, my head spun. (It's her, it's really her!)
"Shana...?" I finally choked out. My knees felt weak. "But... you were sick... and then..." She seemed to be as stunned as I was, but she nodded, taking a hesitant step towards me. When I did not move- I could not, for fear of collapsing- she took another step, and then another. Within a moment, she was standing in front of me.
"I was sick, but I didn't die, Dart." she whispered. My eyes widened even further, if that was at all possible. "None of the others died, either. It was an illusional spell cast upon you to make you think that you had lost all of us." Finally she seemed to gather the courage to reach up and touch the thin scar on my left cheek. I flinched a little at her touch, but after a second I relaxed, leaning into it. Her gaze softened, seeming almost sad. "Dart, how long has it been since we have seen each other? What happened to you?" I closed my eyes, pulling away from her slightly calloused hand.
"Shana, it's been almost 1,000 years since you died." I whispered. She seemed almost pained, her hand landing on my cheek again before sliding down to rest in the crook of my neck, eliciting a small groan from me. She blinked when she saw the choker around my throat, her brow creasing.
"Is that what I think it is...?" she asked slowly. I felt guilt welling up inside of me, but I nodded solemnly. "Rose's choker... Dart, you didn't...!" She seemed almost pleading as she gazed up into my eyes.
"Yes, I did." I quietly admitted. Almost as if everything around me was being too sluggish to keep up with even my slow movements, I reached up and took a hold of her delicate wrist, gently pulling her hand down from my neck and holding it in the air between us. Suddenly disgusted with myself, I dropped her hand and backed away. "I became the same monster that I once vowed to destroy. For almost 1,000 years, I have killed the Moon Children and everyone that has come in contact with them. I have become the Black Monster, a child killer, a murderer of innocents." I hit the wall and stopped walking, and she stayed where she was, staring at me with horrified eyes.
"Dart..." she whispered after a second, taking a step towards me. I held up a hand.
"Shana, stop!" I pleaded. "Please, don't come any closer." She flinched, halting mid-step for an instant, and then she was standing in front of me, gazing up at me with wide brown eyes, myself having no memory of her movements. Good God, those eyes. They held so much emotion. Grief, happiness, joy, hate, regret, and horror, among many others, were some of the most prominent emotions in those beautiful brown depths. Slowly, she lifted her hands to gently touch my arms. Her fingertips were feathered kisses on my hard muscles, slowly dissolving the cold exterior that I had built up to keep myself from further emotional harm. As the first tears coursed their solemn ways down my cheeks, she wrapped her arms around my torso, leaning her head against my chest. My first quiet, heartbroken sobs in over 900 years echoed out into the darkness of the Serdian nighttime, and I buried my face in her hair, my arms coming up and drawing her closer to me, wrapping around her small frame. My tears cascaded down my cheeks to drip down into her hair and clothes, my hitching breaths echoing loudly in my ears. Surprisingly, Ark was again silent, for the second time in two days. I guessed that he sensed that I needed this to only involve me and my late wife.
"Shana..." I breathed raggedly into her ear. "Shana, I'm so sorry..." I felt her smile from where her head now rested on my shoulder.
"It's alright, Dart." she whispered in reply. "You did what you had to do. I just wish that it would all end."
"I do, too. I do, too." I said. My voice, I found, was choked, its own volume no louder than Shana's had been. I lifted my head away from her, and she stepped back slightly so that she could look me in the eye. "I have to defeat Ayrel, though. You do know that, don't you?" She nodded.
"I know." she affirmed. "My only hope in that is that you will be able to defeat her and the Virage Embryo, once and for all. I sincerely hope that." Her gaze took on an almost hopeful tint at this point. "Dart, will you promise me something?" I searched her eyes, her face, her soul, for a second, before I nodded.
"Yes."
"After this is all over, will you come back to me and the others?" she asked. "Promise me, Dart." I smiled a little, bringing my right hand up to caress her cheek affectionately.
"I promise." I replied. She smiled gently, and then she leaned up as I leaned down, my eyes closing, and for the first time in all those years that I had been alone, our lips met in a sound, loving kiss. My mind faded into blackness, and before I knew it, it was over, and I opened my eyes...
Me...I'm rusted and weathered
Barely holding together
I'm covered with skin that peels and it just won't heal
I'm rusted and weathered
Barely holding together
I'm covered with skin that peels and it just won't heal
Something was crackling, like a fire or similar. My eyes snapped open and I sat up from where I was laying, only to find that I was in a campsite, Shana nowhere to be seen. As sudden realization came to me, I chuckled quietly.
"It was all a dream..." Zion snored quietly from his bedroll near Kaelin's sleeping form; Amaya stood watch next to the same tree that Zion had been sitting next to several hours earlier; and Cai, Solana, and Mariko were all soundly asleep where they slept to my right. Without a word or sound, I lifted myself to my feet, feeling bitterness, grief, anger, and hatred welling up inside my soul, and I turned to leave.
"Ry?" came Amaya's voice from the tree. I briefly bent down to pick up my sword before walking towards the edge of the camp.
"I'll be back in a little while." I gruffly replied to her silent inquiry. "Don't follow me."
"Well, where are you going?" Her voice brooked no argument, but that didn't deter me in the slightest.
"I need some time alone." I was barely hanging by a thread, I needed to scream until my throat bled, I needed to do something, anything to vent these emotions, before I blew up at someone that didn't deserve it. Without another word, I exited the campsite, heading into the darkness of the forested night. (Why did it feel so real! Must these dreams of my friends continue to torture me like this!) I fumed at myself, furious for having even thought that it was real at first. (We aren't even anywhere near Bale! Or Basil, for that matter!) So many emotions welled up inside me, it was hard to keep even a sliver of my mind on where I was going. I broke into a run, a dead sprint, desperate to get as far away from everything as I could before I finally expelled all my thoughts and feelings into the eerily silent night.
Everything fled from me as I lost myself in the sensation of the wind whistling past me, the burning in my legs and lungs, the dizziness that followed the lack of oxygen, the rushing of the blood through my veins. I had no thoughts. I had no feelings. I was completely numb in my current state. And then I was far enough away from the campsite, far enough that they wouldn't hear me even if I screamed as loud as I could. A space clear of trees but full of ancient stone ruins met me, and I found myself slowing down to a stop as my eyes roamed across the overgrown foundations of my birth town. I was in Neet, or what was left of it. Coughing, I fell to my knees, my chest heaving blood out of my lungs along with air. Sweat rolled down my face in torrents along with the sudden tears that I only now felt stinging my eyes. My vision blurred even further as I took in the sight of my once-home. (I guess that Miranda never saw fit to rebuild it...)
/Why would she/ Ark asked. His voice was a low hiss in my mind, but I could tell that he was slightly peeved that I had just up and run off on the others like that, regardless of my personal emotions. /It was nothing but ruins back then. It wouldn't have interested her, probably. There was no need to, anyway, what with Deningrad and Furni fully functioning./ I cringed slightly at the Dragon's logic. Even if it had been in ruins, I had hoped that maybe Miranda had had the village rebuilt. Still, the heartache that I had once felt when I thought of the place returned, along with painful memories and the fury, bitterness, grief, and hatred that had ruled my actions of earlier that night. It started out as a low hum in my throat, but soon it grew to an animalistic scream of anguish that echoed out into the cold air of Mille Seaseau's wilderness. It was the scream of one who is dying a slow, tortured death, of a wounded animal that is passing from this world. It rang across the ruins, through the trees, into the grey clouds above, and far beyond, stretching through time itself. I knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that I was going to have a hell of a time talking to the others the next morning, but I didn't care.
All of my emotions flooded out of me and into the frigid stillness as snow began to fall lightly over the remains of the little village, adding a thin dusting as a reminder of the quaint town's former beauty. I roared until I ran out of breath, and then I took another gulp of air and screamed again. Ragnarok was silent. I guess that he sensed that I needed this if I was to continue to live like I had been. When I finally gave out, exhausted emotionally and physically, I sobbed silently, feeling blood run out of my mouth and over my chin whenever I choked on it. I had truly screamed until my throat bled.
/Dart.../ Ragnarok finally ventured. He actually seemed hesitant, for once. /Dart, you aren't alone, you know... They followed you./ It was only now that I finally registered the presences of the other Dragoons approaching from behind. Amaya must have woken the others- I wouldn't have been surprised if I made that much noise while running- and followed me to where I was, now, by transforming into Dragoons. They probably saw the whole thing. Not that I cared, anymore. For once, I didn't care if they saw me as an emotional wreck. In fact, it might have made them feel a little relieved, to know that I was human like they were- or at least, as human as I was able to be by this time. I didn't care if it raised questions about my mental state and whether or not I should lead them anymore. I didn't care that my clothes were slowly being soaked through by the damp, frozen ground, nor did I care that I was being covered in a light film of snow, just like the ruins of my childhood home. I didn't care about anything.
My chest continued to heave as my whole body shook with unsuppressed tears, and that was when I knew that this quest had to end soon, my time alive had to end soon. I just couldn't take much more. My body was white by this time, my appearance as ancient as the ruins that surrounded me, that I blended in perfectly well with. And that was when my silent pleas for closure finally stopped as my subconscious realized that the unspoken cries for help would not be met, that I would be completely, totally, hopelessly, alone in this world for a long, long time more.
"...Ry...?" came a hesitant inquiry from behind me. My entire being quaked without ceasing, my breath continued to hitch as I attempted to regain it, liquid fire kept streaming from my eyes and down my icy cheeks to drip down and soak into my collar, coppery-tasting crimson leaked out of my mouth to fall to the snow below me. I was vaguely aware of the other six walking around to stand in front of me, but I made no attempt to dry my eyes or cheeks, nor did I try to hide the blood on the snow and on my mouth. I had stopped caring altogether. They needed to see me like this, needed to know that I was not as aloof from emotions as I appeared to be. I remembered Rose breaking down, once. She had cried for a good 2 or so hours, at least, as Shana attempted to comfort her. All humans broke down, every now and then. It just took me a very, very, very long time to do it. They watched in solemn silence as I gradually calmed down, not thinking to move in fear that it may alert me to their presences as I hid behind my ragged bangs, my eyes invisible to them. When my shaky breathing had finally come back to a reasonable pace, I took a deep gulp of air, feeling my lungs expand against my ribcage and the stone entombed within it, and I lifted my gaze to meet theirs.
"Amaya..." I finally breathed- I couldn't speak any louder than that- as my aqua gaze slowly swiveled to land on her own. "I told you I wanted to be alone..." She heard me, despite the low volume, and managed to look defiant even though I could tell that she was shocked by my former state. I drew another shaking breath, and rose to my feet, finding my knees to be slightly weak from kneeling in the mud for all that time. They all seemed to be quite wary around me, as if they thought that I might explode at them, as Zion hesitantly ventured,
"Ry... what was... that about...?" I smiled sadly up at him where he towered over even me, and then I hung my head, my lips falling back into a neutral expression.
"It's not good to keep your emotions pent up for a long, long time, you know." I said as loudly as I could. "I was just letting mine go." Mariko smiled a little at me while the others all held various expressions of comprehension, relief, and sympathy on their faces.
"Oh..." Solana said, blinking. "Then you must have had a very nasty past to make you react like that." I snorted and the corner of my mouth twitched upwards in the ghost of a wry, lopsided smirk.
"Solana, you have a gift for understatement." I respired, and then I turned my gaze to the cloudy sky above, snow falling off of my head at the motion, and spread my arms out to either side of me. "Welcome, Dragoons, to the ruins of the village of Neet. Welcome... to a specter of the past... of a little town that was destroyed by the Black Monster when the Moon Child of nearly 1,000 years ago was an infant, and when the last Red-Eye Dragoon and the Divine Dragoon, Dart Feld, was only a mere 5 years old. Welcome to the roots of the Second Dragon Campaign... and the birthplace of the Black Monster that now roams Endiness." I closed my eyes as I quietly whistled my mother's lullaby into the cold night air, a tribute to the lost souls that haunted the ancient ground around us. When the tune ended, I opened my eyes and rasped into the sky an old prophecy, one that I remembered my father reciting on winter evenings by the fire, in tales of the first Dragon Campaign, as my mother and I listened with rapt attention.
"As the clash of swords echo...
The Journey chasing the past ends...
And the Journey to know today begins.
One soul seeks another...
And pledges their sworn friendship to another.
One mystery begets the next...
And the doors of fate are opened.
"'You are free to sever the chains of fate that bind you.'"
END.
Phew, that was a long one. (even longer than my Full Metal Alchemist one! O.O) Hope that it didn't come to a really abrupt ending that just kinda grates on your nerves and sounds like a cliffie, 'cause that's the end. End of fic, no more chapters, etc. Took me a week to write and edit, and then I couldn't think of a good ending. (cries)
Well, like I said in the top Author's note, I hope that I did not get anyone OOC, and if I did, then I apologize sincerely. But please Read and Review! Constructive criticism is appreciated, and feel free to flame if you want, just please realize that I may not take kindly to them. I appreciate you even taking the time to read this, though, so a big thank you to everyone who has managed to get to this part of the thingymajig where I blabber on and on and on until my brain melts. Okay, I'm done ranting, now. Thanks again! (grins widely)
-Fanatic