Chapter 3

Long Road Back

Disclaimer: I'll never own them.

A/N: It might get a little spiritual , but hang in there with me:)

Three years later...

Alexx stepped off the plane into the warm climate that was Miami. She had not felt the heat and humidity of the city that she had adored for three years. Now returning , she felt the familiar twinge of pain tugging at her heart. While away in New York, Alexx did heal , but he was still in the crevices of her soul, reminding her of his absence. There were moments that she cried softly at the memory of him. It had gotten better, but it hadn't completely left her. Horatio had been right, she couldn't run from her sadness or from him.

She sighed heavily as she felt the breeze lightly touch her face as she waited for a cab at the curb. There would be noone to pick her up, she had told noone of her intentions . She had come alone on his anniversary, and alone she wanted to be. Getting into the cab she stared out into the clear blue sky, wondering if she could handle going to see him by herself. Maybe I should've called Horatio, she thought to herself. She grabbed her phone to do so, but in an instant , she put it back into her purse. He was most likely to be on a scene anyway.

Alexx looked at the cab driver and said, "The Agramont ,please."

She sat back and watched as the scenes of Miami passed her in a flurry. Nothing had changed in the course of three years and she smiled to herself at the last good memory she had of Speed. It warmed her spirit to think of him here, the pain that was so fresh three years ago was a distant memory. Tomorrow , she would go to see him.

Arriving at the motel, Alexx paid the cab driver and had the bell boy take her luggage inside. She checked in the room and made her way quietly. After the bell boy left, Alexx opened the curtains to let the sunshine in. She sat in the window for what felt like ages , letting the warm sunshine permeate through her. The sight of people below going about there business, reminded her that life went on. She wished that his life could continue.

A knock at her jarred her from her thoughts , and she frowned to herself. There should be no one looking for her. Crossing the room effortlessly, Alexx called out, " Who is it?"

Silence replied and she continued to walk to the door. She had a mind to ignore it, but she was curious. Looking out of the peep hole, she didn't see anyone. She shrugged her shoulders and started to walk away. Again, she heard a knock at the door. She again looked out of the peep hole and again she saw noone. Getting upset, Alexx snatched the door open and peered out. The hallway was deserted in both directions. A slight breeze passed through her as she closed the door. She then went back to the window and continued to look out. Standing at the corner, she saw a man. She could see from the way that he was standing that he was waiting for someone. There was something that was gravitating Alexx's attention to this man. As he looked up, seemingly right into Alexx's window, Alexx adverted her eyes. When she felt as if he had dropped his gaze, she returned her eyes back to the street to find that he was gone. Alexx sighed heavily as she closed the curtains and took off her shoes. She then turned the covers down and slipped into the bed. She would rest now, because she knew that she would need her strength tomorrow.

AW

Walking to the stone , Alexx felt as the atmosphere had taken a heavier feel to it. She didn't feel the peace that she had felt three years ago when she last visited him. She looked up at the solitary spot with the bench, noticing someone sitting . She thought that she was the only one who was coming to see him...

As she approached the bench she took in a jagged breath. It was Speed. He gazed out into the distance, not noticing her as she walked hesitantly. Then he spoke without looking at her.

" Alexx, I'm not going to bite you," he said with humor in his voice.

" Timmy?" Alexx said as she stood over him. She wasn't believing her eyes. It was him, same shirt , same pants, same sadness in his eyes. " What are you doing here?"

" Alexx, I've been here all along, waiting for you to come back. Why did you leave?" he asked as he finally looked up at her. She saw the full brunt of his sadness.

" I couldn't stay , Timmy. Everything I knew here reminded me of you. I couldn't live my life like that." Alexx said as she wiped a tear from her eye.

" Take a seat, Alexx. We need to talk." Speed said patting the bench. He then looked absent minded at his own tombstone. " It has been three years. Three years , Alexx and you haven't found a way to get over it."

Alexx looked at him disgusted, " Get over it? You died Tim. I cared for you. Dammit , I loved you. And I should just shrug it off?"

" Yes, Alexx. The others did after few months. Even Horatio finally squared with it. But you, you held on to it. Why? Why couldn't you live your life? You had a family , you had your job, you had everything to live for."

"I didn't have you." Alexx said simply. She couldn't put into words the way she still felt about him. " You never got a chance to have children, Tim , so you can't possibly know how it feels to lose one. That's what I felt like, a grieving mother. It's not easy to get over grief that severe."

" I 'v e had my share of grief, Alexx. It tormented me for years after my best friend died. I felt like I let him down, much like what you probably feel like. But there came a time that I recognized that he wasn't coming back , and no amount of crying or grieving would bring him back. So I started to live. That's what I wanted for you, for all of you. Eric got it, Calleigh, got it, but..."

" I couldn't let you go ,Tim."Alexx replied softly. She noticed as the temperature had changed and a fierce wind had started to blow.

" It's time for you to go, Alexx.," Speed said as he reached a hand to touch hers. " I'll be seeing you."

" What?" Alexx said as he got up. She looked up into his brown eyes. " Where are you going?"

" Where I belong. You need to return back to where you belong," he said as he started to walk away.

" I don't know where I belong any more , Tim!" Alexx called after him. In an instant, he was gone. Alexx looked at the tombstone that bore his name, and sitting very neatly on top was a red rose. She picked it up and began to cry.

AW

The phone woke Alexx from her slumber. She put a hand out to search for the phone, knocking the head set off . She groggily got up and picked the phone up off of the floor.

" Hello?" Alexx said as she tried to stifle a yawn.

" Mrs. Woods, you have a message at the front desk. Would you care for someone to bring it up to you," a professional voice said.

" Umm... I'll come down to get it. Thank you," Alexx said hanging up the phone. She sat back down on the bed , and tried to shake the cobwebs from her mind. She faintly remembered her him. She then wondered who would be leaving messages for her.

Looking at her watch, she saw as it was almost a quarter to seven. She picked up the phone again and dialed a familiar number.

" Caine," the strong voice returned.

" Horatio, it's Alexx. I think we need to talk..."

TBC...