The Road to Nowhere Leads to Me

Chp.8

Looking for the Answers

I wish that I owned it, but alas I don't and never will, but I just wonder if they'd be willing to let me borrow Spike.

Wesley sits in the dimly lit office, his head down as he pours over demon dictionaries, mystical anthologies, and codex's. His hair is a tangled mass on his head as he has run his fingers through it multiple times. He'd taken Buffy's request to heart, and left as soon as she'd asked, or actually told him to figure it out. He'd been anxious for something other than the projects that the evil law firm had been giving him, and he is intrigued by Buffy's appearance as a ghostly apparition.

He'd been researching the dilemma for what seemed like days, and it probably had been. He knows that he looks a mess, and that his eyes are bloodshot from trying to read the script in the books beside of him, and the one that is lying in front of him.

Buffy and Spike had come in earlier to recount the experience they'd had in the Hellmouth before it had collapsed. He'd known that it would be hard on them, but hadn't expected that both the slayer, and vampire would break down in tears at the telling. He'd thought that Spike would try and be the big macho man. But at the first sign of tears from Buffy, he'd broken into sobs also.

The amulet that Spike had worn lies on the desk taunting him as he glances from the tiny script of the book that lay sprawled out on the desk. He'd found it's name and a picture of it, in an obscure text, not too long ago, but that's all that the book had to offer him. "The Gem of Genesis." He mumbles quietly, as he picks it up for to inspect it for the thousandth time. Another book had offered a description, and a date that it had been forged or the approximate date. Somewhere between 17 B.C. and 20 B.C. , and he'd been through almost every book that was available to him, this is all the information he'd gleaned from them all.

It was time to turn to his last resort. The books that held every book, or manuscript ever written. His gaze falls on the spines of the six books. He grabs the one in the middle, and runs his fingers over the soft, and worn leather. "The Gem of Genesis." He breathes over the spine. He flips it open to reveal that there is definitely more on the gem than what he'd already found, and he lets out a long held breath. There are pages and pages on the gem. And within those pages he started to figure out that there is more to the gem than anyone had thought. He smiles as he reads.

Buffy and Spike would be pleased. He'd atleast gotten some idea of what had happened, but the pages tell him nothing on how to reverse the effects of a simple touch, at a crucial point. The only thing to do is to call Angel and tell him of his findings. But this was a good start in a whole to figuring out the mystery.

He grabs the cellphone lying by his elbow, and dials the extension to Angels office.

Spike had dragged her out of the office, through a conference room, filled with people, and into an empty room that she supposed was an office once upon a time.

He turns to her letting go of the death grip he'd had on the wrist, and taking her hand. He straighten his shoulders, and takes in a deep breath. "What was all that about you laying in bed, and thinking about it shit, Luv?" He turns those steel blue eyes on her and she see can see the hurt in them.

She knew that he was going to ask that. He never asked the easy questions first. "It's just that you denied me, and I had alot of time to think about it. And I finally came to the conclusion that I shouldn't have waited until the very last crucial moment to tell you. I should've told you that night." Her eyes are glassy with her tears, as she looks up into his softening ones.

He cocks his head and raises his chin in a gesture that means for her to go on.

"That night everyone voted me out. I should've told you then. Or even the night after while we were talking in the kitchen. God, I wanted to, especially after you said what you said, my heart was screaming for me to tell, but my mind wouldn't let me." She takes a deep breath, and wipes the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. "I meant it when I said that maybe when it was all over. But then it was all over and you were gone, and I tried to live Spike, I really did" She sobs on the last few words, making her shoulders shake.

"Sweetheart." She's suddenly enveloped in his arms, and making his non-corporeal shirt all soggy with her salty tears. His hand rubs her head gently, as he cradles her against him, and she feels safe again.

He pushes her away, gazing into her teary, and bloodshot eyes. "You don't know how soddin' much I wanted to believe those words, but if I had." He ducks his head in a way that she presumed to be a shy manner. "I wouldn't have been able to go through with what had to be done. I couldn't let that happen, Pet."

"I know. It just hurt, Spike. I'd just come to the conclusion that I loved you, and like all the others." Her tears start anew. "You left me. You promised you wouldn't do that, and you did. And then came the resentment, it passed, but then there was the grieving. I'd grieved so many and then the one constant that I still had was gone. Do you know how that feels?"

"Yeah, Luv. I truly do. Had a hundred and forty-seven days of that feelin'. An' jus' like you, I came back. You should know by now that I'm not that easy to get rid of, Buffy."

She can't help but smile as she sees his genuine one cross his face. God she'd missed that. The way he could just be himself when they are together. "I missed you," she says it so softly that if it weren't for his enhanced hearing, he wouldn't have heard it.

"Missed you, too, Luv," His reply is almost as soft as her own.

She gazes into his eyes for a few moments, complete silence surrounding them. Leaning her head back she reaches around his neck with one hand and brings his mouth to hers. She'll show him just how much she'd missed him.

His eyes widen as he understands what she's about to do, then his mouth is on hers, and he sinks into her delving deep with his tongue and tasting the nectar of her mouth. He starts to drown all over again.

She could get sooo used to this. Spikes tongue is doing delicious things to hers, and she goes weak in the knees. God, she'd missed this, what had she been thinking to ever let him go. Oh yeah, that thing they had supposedly hadn't been real. Stupid Buffy. She chides herself.

(Thank you Placid for the great beta. And thanks to everyone who's reviewed.)