Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and I don't particularly want to anymore.
Note Concerning AU status: The release of HBP has rendered this even more AU than before. For the purpose of this story, none of the romantic relationships mentioned in HBP happened, a certain person was not revealed as evil and is not evil, a certain person did not take the previously mentioned person's position, a certain student refused to take the Dark Mark, and a certain person did not die. Also, just so long as this is an AU, I'm saying that Sirius fell to one side of the Veil. Every else is as per canon.
READ THE DAMN AUTHOR'S NOTES!
A/N: Despite a grand total of eleven reviews, there were only three votes on the Ron/Draco issue. 2 votes for required and 1 vote for unrequited. Requited it is, then. Also, so far no one has given me an opinion on my characterization of Ron and Hermione. I really would like some input.
A/N2: I'm thinking of bumping this fic up to R or M or whater you want to call it. If I do that, I can post a modified version of the chapter 2 smut scene. I also might put this fic on hiatus for a week or so while I edit the first four chapters. Chapter One seems especially in need of editing, due to the fact it was not originally meant to be continued. If you have any suggestions at all as to how to improve some part of the fic, please please please put it in a review; you may catch things that I miss.
And now, the review responses!
Smorefan: Hermione is uncomfortable with it because she thinks that authority figures are something like demigods and it upsets her to learn that they're human.
Brianna Fitzwalter: Sorry, but you were outvoted. Would you like Crabbe to have a thing for Ron anyway?
me: I don't think that having Ron chase Draco is in the cards, but there may be something similarly embarrassing for Draco.
Severus and Harry arrived at the meeting at the same time as Cho Chang, who was dressed in a truly awful black leather mini-dress and knee high boots. Harry eyed her nervously, remembering the incident at Madam Puddifoot's and devoutly hoping that she didn't. She gave no sign of it, merely giving him a come-hither smile and arching a brow. Severus wrapped an arm around Harry's waist possessively, and she flounced in with a pout.
The two entered behind her, and immediately claimed the loveseat facing the door. Harry leaned against Severus affectionately, and Severus put an arm over Harry's shoulders. When Sirius came through the door and saw them, he nearly had a heart attack, then turned to Dumbledore and made an appeal.
"Albus, you can't really condone this, can you? He's Harry's teacher!" he begged.
Dumbledore gave him an amused smile. "It would be deeply hypocritical of me to forbid student-teacher relationships. My dear Minerva was a sixth year when we became involved."
Sirius stared for a moment, then slumped into an overstuffed easy chair. "Has the world always been this way, and I've just been too wrapped up in myself to notice?" he asked despairingly.
"Well, you've always been self absorbed, but I really can't understand what you mean by 'this way'." retorted Severus.
Sirius bristled. "By this way, Snape, I mean is the world out to get me?"
"Well, what do you think? Azkaban, being a fugitive, nearly being killed in the Department of Mysteries. Yes, you have bad luck." Remus said crisply, having just emerged from a door in the back with a packet of jaffa cakes.
Dumbledore intervened, preventing a nasty argument. "Now that we're all here, Remus, Sirius and Ms. Chang can make their reports. Remus, how was the Black Forest?"
"The werewolves have agreed, so long as we provide subsidized Wolfsbane. They can afford to pay 60 percent of the cost, and they need it for a total of 42 werewolves. Severus, do you know people who can help you make it in quantity?" Remus looked at him appealingly. "I have a few favors I could call in if necessary."
"That won't be necessary. I have six students who are good enough to make it, and I've just gotten enough of a windfall to finance the silver cauldrons I'll need." Severus shot a brief smile at Harry.
"Oh? Severus, where did you get that much money?" Dumbledore asked. "I'm sure that no matter what, you'd never be able to stretch the budget I gave you that far." he gave Severus a searching look.
"Harry was kind enough to open the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets for me. The basilisk remains provided potions ingredients worth nearly 2 million galleons on the international market." Severus could not suppress a manic grin. He already had brochures for various vacation resorts piled three deep on his room.
Dumbledore looked astonished. "That is good news. But who receives the money? The school or you? That money could pay to renovate all of the dormitories and the kitchens as well." he had developed an avaricious gleam in his eye.
Then Harry spoke up. "Actually, I killed the basilisk, and am thus entitled to all proceeds, or would have been." he smiled cheerfully. "However, Severus harvested the ingredients, and is thus entitled to a third." he gave Severus an infatuated smile and tried to move even closer to him.
Dumbledore could not quite conceal his disappointment. He'd hoped to use a bit of it for some more socks. Oh, well. "Ms. Chang, would you care to make your report?"
Cho stood up, and smoothed the front of her dress, giving Harry a smoldering look. "Since I first infiltrated the Death Eater organization three months ago, I have made excellent progress. I am not yet in the Inner Circle, but I am in a good position to hear useful information, as I am now the Dark Lord's personal secretary."
Severus broke in. "What do you mean? He's never had a secretary before."
Cho blushed a bit. "Secretary is more of a courtesy title than anything else. I'm really his pet dominatrix."
Remus spat out his tea. "What!"
"He likes being paddled. No, I don't know why, and no, I won't talk about it."
"So what you're saying," Sirius choked out between guffaws, "Is that Voldemort, scourge of wizarding Britain, likes to be spanked? That is the most bizarre thing I've ever heard."
Even Dumbledore was suppressing a grin. "Moving on, Ms. Chang. What information have you gathered?"
"He has recruited the hags, and the domovoi have joined without being asked. He also has a small group of harpies, and is trying to persuade the medusas to join him."
"Umm, what are domovoi?" asked Harry.
"They're related to house elves, but are rather smaller. I can see no reason for them to join him, but domovoi have never been known as intellectuals." Severus told him.
"Ahem." Cho glared at Severus. "As I was about to say, his operations in Greece and Eastern Europe are going well, and the Albanian government is close to declaring its' public support."
Sirius, who been idly crumbling a biscuit, looked up. "Where the hell is Albania?"
"I haven't the faintest idea." admitted Cho. "I don't think it's very important. Anyway, that's my report."
Dumbledore turned to Sirius. "How was Aachen, Sirius? Did your negotiations with the German ministry go well?"
"They didn't go at all. They wouldn't meet me, because I have no government credentials. So, instead, I got drunk. Oktoberfest is fun. Send me to Amsterdam next, will you?"
Dumbledore sighed. "Your entertainment is not the point of these expeditions, Sirius. Now, does anyone have any ideas or proposals?"
"I think that the sooner I get the silver cauldrons the better. I also want to take Harry with me so that he can check on a shop he's invested in." Severus said.
"All right, but do you think you could take Mr. Longbottom with you? He has expressed a desire to see his parents."
Severus scowled, and Harry elbowed him sharply. "Ouch! Dammit Harry! Yes Albus, I'll take Longbottom with me. There, Harry, are you happy?"
Harry gave him an angelic smile. "Yes, darling." Harry's voice was purest saccharine.
Severus scowled at him, and shook his head. Harry was absolutely incorrigible!