Chap 18
It smelled like dead bantha.
But then again, none of her comrades knew what a bantha was, therefore speaking her mind would be pointless. Nevertheless, it was not pleasant and the sooner they were in home dock, the better.
Spire leaned heavily on the cockpit wall, arms crossed and bulky with the body armor that was rank with sweat, grime, blood and force knew what else. Her brown hair was caked with dirt and the remains of war, and dipped before her vision.
"We've got confirmation from Bastieel, general," one of the Hawk Pilots said calmly. Spire grunted in acknowledgement, lifting her weight and stalking into the rear of the chamber. She paused before a tall man and regarded him silently.
"Problem?" the man asked, arms crossed and hands tracing over the tattoos on his shoulders.
"Just anxious."
"Indeed. I could do with a clean set of clothing and a decent meal myself," the man answered. Spire agreed, touching his arm before moving deeper into the craft. She felt the inertia of the ship's rapid decent to Ghan and held fast to the side of the corridor.
"Askieni Warcraft Defiance, you are cleared for landing in port 4, you are cleared for landing in port 4," a woman's voice chirped brightly over the intercom. Spire looked up to the ceiling, as if thanking the woman personally for taking them home.
And yet, she was anxious. There was… a disturbance in the force, it seemed to her. Then again, she was no prophet and usually only used the force for interactions that were at hand but… something seemed different.
Nothing a shower and night of real sleep won't fix, she said to herself. Three weeks, it had only been three weeks since she and the Knights had left Ghan. Three weeks of no sleep, three weeks of live moment to moment, taking a breath and wondering if it would be your last…
Not that she regretted the work. She and her fellows had freed that poor world in only three weeks. And now, the people were free to live by their own decisions.
It was worth the lives lost to free a planet.
The Defiance touched down, jolting the ship and Spire from her thoughts. The young woman was standing at the exit door when it opened, and she was blasted by hot steam as she strode down the walkway. She was met by two other knights, and together they strode with and air of confidence up to the upper levels of the civil liberties building and then to the main chambers of the Scion.
The chamber doors swung open dramatically and light filtered in from behind them. Spire marched with eyes forward towards the center throne and knelt, grime, sweat and all, before Khas.
"My lord," she rasped, voice low from the weeks of smoky battles and loud gunfire.
The lord reached for her, resting his aged hand upon her ear and skull.
"We have received word from the remaining ships. All tell of your success."
She paused, frowning. She stood, hands clasping behind her and her eyes narrowed, looking to Khas's left. Something… felt different, something… was in her field. Something within the force. Spire frowned at her leader.
Bareli just smiled, looking positively innocent. A murmur went up through the counselors in the chamber and Spire felt uneasy.
"Yes well," she swallowed, glancing to her left as the blond haired Siefu joined her before Khas, "I beg your leave sire – its been… a long time since my men and women and I have seen clean clothing or real food. I beg your leave."
The elder man stood, putting his hands before him and taking a few steps towards Spire. "Indeed. And later, after your rest, I require you in the main courtyards for dinner and ceremony, Spire. Again; well done."
The knights nodded and bowed. Spire paused – she saw, and felt something familiar in the room, to her left, something that teased the edges of her senses… But she said nothing and because to exit. The other nights paused, then turned and followed her out of the chambers.
They strode into the tall corridor, with the heavy clanking of their boots ringing the hallway.
"Something's amiss, Siefu," Spire confided, shaking her head as they walked. "I sense something… but it remains elusive." She sighed, clambering into the shuttle with the men. "But regardless – we missed you and the Temperance during the last segment of the conflict. You and Arrien make a strong team when in battle."
"I regret being called away – we could have ended that battle far sooner alongside you, Spire," Siefu said briskly, and stopping the elevator on the floor he desired. He moved to exit and turned, bowing swiftly. "I shall see you tonight, sister."
"Yes, fair leave until then, Siefu," Spire returned, nodding. She narrowed her eyes again, crossing her arms and sighing.
0oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo0
Obi-Wan gripped the railing of balcony hard, his small hands straining to encircle the smooth copper. The suns were setting over Ghan, and the blinding glare was almost enough to drive the boy away from the sight.
Almost.
"Something troubles you, padawan."
The boy turned his head, making out the tall form of his master sinking nimbly onto the patio couch behind him. He looked again into the alien sunset.
"It's nothing, master," Obi-Wan said.
"Come, my padawan. Do I not know you well enough that I can tell when something's wrong?" Qui-Gon asked.
"I don't know, do you?"
His master's lion like features stiffened.
"What do you say that, Obi-Wan?"
"I just… keep thinking about it, master!" he rasped, "I ask myself, how did I let this happen? Why did you choose Kinah over me?" Obi-Wan said in a whisper, shaking his head.
Qui-Gon stood, his robes swishing as he moved to stand beside his padawan, facing the courtyard below.
"The fault of this… whole incident, this past few months, is not your fault, Obi-Wan. It was mine. I had failed you-"
"Yes, yes I know, we've been over this, master," Obi-Wan said in a rush, "And it should be done and we should be able to move on, but why, why do I keep remembering her face, when she was walking to the ship that was going to end her life as a Jedi, why do I feel so badly for her-"
"When she caused you such pain?" Qui-Gon finished.
Obi-Wan ground his jaw together, again grasping the railing so tightly his knuckles turned white. A much larger hand settled over his, and he paused, still looking down.
"Because of your compassion, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said gently, coming to stand behind the boy.
"What if it was something worse, master," Obi-Wan breathed, hesitating, and finally allowing himself to lean back against the solid wall of strength that was his teacher.
"What if I feel such compassion for someone who was a murderer? A killer? She was cruel to me, why don't I hate her?" he asked.
Qui-Gon leaned down, his face near his padawan's ear.
"Because – you are Jedi. She… is not."
"Then why did you teach her? Why help her?" Obi-Wan said.
"Not all who entered the temple doors will become good Jedi. They are accepted by the fact that they have force skill. But it must be honed. People like her, impatient, needy of attention, some of them can be tutored to become decent Jedi."
"And me. You didn't give me that attention."
Qui-Gon smiled softly, though the boy couldn't see it as the elder drew the boy close with his long arms.
"You never needed it. You are very special, my Obi-Wan. You are already a true Jedi."
The boy felt a small smile tug at his lips.
"But you'll make me an ever better Jedi, master?"
"The best," the elder whispered.
Qui-Gon looked up from Obi-Wan's soft hair, hearing commotion in the courtyard below. A group of young boys and girls had formed several ranks, and were taking kata stances with what looked like wooden staffs. At the head of them, was his padawan's friend, and his own worst failure, aside from Xanatos.
"Can we make it right now, master?" Obi-Wan asked Qui-Gon with a childlike innocence that had the amazing effect of forming a lump in his throat.
"Yes, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon Jinn rasped, "Lets go make it right."
The two exited the balcony, a new sense of peace between them. They strode into the ornately decorated hallway, and paused outside of the other guest room. Qui-Gon's eyes twinkled when his padawan knocked with restrained energy on the door.
A few moments later, the Jedi made their way down to the bottom floor of the complex. The dying sunlight blinded them in the doorway, and Arkken paused at the frame, looking down.
A dozen meters away, a much cleaner Karin Enspire was basking in the waning light. She stood with a sense of command, her arms crossed and shoulders back, watching the youth go through a set of Katas. She observed them with a furrowed brow, and stepped forward. Her footfalls seamed heavy and her leather and metal boots crunched the grass beneath her.
"Who can tell me the difference between a high guard and a low guard when in the sixth stance?" She called, voice bouncing off the stone walls of the courtyard. Her long leather knee-shorts brushed by a young blond girl, and they faced each other. Spire raised a brow expectantly.
"It's easier to keep your balance going into the next form when you have a high guard, Sir," the blond said in a surprisingly clear voice.
"Well done," Spire acknowledged, moving down the line of youth. The back of her sleeveless shirt made a glowing T in the growing darkness, and Obi-Wan followed her with his eyes as she intermixed with the others. Arkken took a hesitant step forward, but was halted by a green clawed hand.
"Best it is, if I go first," Yoda murmured quietly.
Karin was doing some light offensive movement with one of the younger girls when a tremor wormed its way up her back. She paused, senses alert. Glancing up, she only saw the maintenance men lighting the torches, the new firelight casting shadows on the walls and trees.
Swallowing thickly, she withdrew from the young protégé' and moved to the front of the ranks. Resting the training staff on her shoulder, she halted at the front.
Bareli, Ardemis and Galliya were standing in the second floor gala balcony, looking down at her. She knew then, that something wasn't right.
There was a huge, huge tremor in the force. She inhaled sharply, jamming her eyes shut as the surrounding force signatures blurred and shifted. Her eyes opened and she saw, through the force, this blinding, swirling light to her left.
Yoda. Oh Force, it was /Yoda/.
Yoda and a gaggle of Jedi.
She felt her head start to pound.
The sting of betrayal bit deep, and with exhausted, bloodshot eyes she bore her head upwards to glare at the three Ghan leaders above.
"I don't believe she's pleased with us, sire," Ardemis grumbled.
"Just watch," the Scion hushed.
Swallowing thickly again and trying in vain not to clench her jaw in irritation, Spire took a deep breath and turned towards the approaching little green Jedi.
"Greetings from Ghan, Master Yoda," Spire said evenly with a small bow.
His gimmer stick swished in the soft grass as he approached her, and every step forward he came, the more Spire wanted to howl in frustration. This was her place! Her place to forget the past, forget the Jedi. How unfair that they find her here, at home, in private. She was going to have a damn long talk with Khas-
"Padawan Enspire, happy I am, to see you well," Yoda greeted, having finally reached her.
"And I am pleased to see you in good health also, Master Jedi," she said. If she didn't have an audience of young pupils and Ghan high ranking officials, she really would give the little creature a piece of her mind. In fact-
"Come many miles to see you, we have."
"We?" inquired Spire.
Obi-Wan broke free from behind his master and the wall of taller Jedi and jogged towards her. Upon recognition of the boy, Spire's face softened somewhat from its harsh lines of diplomacy.
"Spire," he whispered, a happy grin on his smooth boyish face. Without a second hesitation, Obi-Wan grasped her tightly, not waiting for an invitation. Spire blanched, embarrassed in front of the students, but returned the gesture, if with less fervor.
"Hello, Obi-Wan. I suppose I have you to thank for this surprise visit?" The words were harsh, but as they separated, he could tell she didn't hold it against him. Her eyes were tired from war, he noted, but it didn't matter. She looked at him quizzically, at his animated smile that remained plastered on his face.
"Came, we did, many sectors. Brought you something, we have," Yoda announced.
"And what did you bring me, Master Yoda?" Spire asked with a degree of cool to her voice. "Another chance at being Jedi?"
"No," Yoda shook his head. "I brought answers."
Spire took a step back, pulling her weight upwards and crossing her arms in a defensive gesture.
"Answers to what Questions, Master?"
"Why this happened. Why I didn't help you get to your master in time," Qui-Gon spoke from the sidelines.
"Why we were so desperate to find you on Nar Shadaa," Master Plo Koon said.
Spire almost scowled at them, grinding her teeth. She looked up to Bareli.
"I appreciate the effort, my friends. But it is in the past. There is nothing we can do to change, or heal the past," Spire all but hissed, emotion filling her grey core. Yoda's ears perked. The swirling force signature that was Karin Enspire dipped dangerously darker in spectrum.
"Karin…"
Spire stopped breathing.
Obi-Wan touched her arm briefly, before moving to stand beside Yoda.
Turning slowly, Spire faced the line of Jedi at the south hall entrance. And from them, emerged a dead man. Or, a man she believed for so, so long, to be dead. For a second, she thought she might faint, but that would not bode well for her ego. Then again, her ego didn't really matter right now. The man walking towards her… that was all that mattered.
Arrken Palamin was a little worse for wear than the last time she'd seen him. His face was lined with age, his hair a little greyer. Palamin had never been a terribly large or muscled man. He was rather lean and thin, really, compared to his fellow Jedi. But now his robes seemed to encompass him fully.
He walked until he was only a few meters away from her when he stopped. For a few beats, they just stared in disbelief.
"Padawan," Arkken breathed, reaching a hand to her, but still several meters away.
The blank look on Spire's face warped suddenly, to great, great pain. Anger, loss… and something else. Her eyes blazed betrayal. She turned to Yoda with a piercing gaze.
"Explain… explain /this," she hissed. Obi-Wan flinched, suddenly wishing his master was beside him.
"Jaongnar II was set up for you to believe your master died," Qui-Gon said softly, his deep voice carrying across the courtyard.
Spire let out a noise that sounded like a wheeze, blinking rapidly. Qui-Gon shook his head helplessly.
"They… wanted me to be undercover for a while… I… after you returned to the temple, you were to be informed," Arkken said softly, his deep brown eyes regarding his old padawan with deem emotion. "I was filled with such horror at having to cut the training bond, but then to loose you all over again…"
"You cut the bond."
"I had too."
A choke of a laugh erupted from her lips followed by a grimace of pain. She took a deep breath, straightening. She looked up, to the agonized faces of Bareli, Ardemis, Galliya. Looked down to Yoda and Obi-Wan, who was near tears. Looked to the other Jedi. And finally, looked at her master.
"I loved you, Master Palamin," she whispered as dusk turned to darkness. The firelight cast shadows over her face, blurring her expression.
"I loved you… have loved you… have grieved you…" Arkken said.
"Yea… same here," Spire said softly. She came closer, her physical presence hostile. "I mourned you. Felt unworthy since I /thought/ I let you die, and yet…" she trailed off, looking inward, "I could not truly fall to the darkside. He offered me a good deal, Darth Fenris, he did."
"Offer you, what did he?" Yoda asked.
"He said he could make me forget," Karin murmured, shaking her head and closing her eyes. Arkken felt a new wave of remorse flow through him. And… he could not stand back anymore. He stepped forward, closing the gap between them. He brought his hands to her arms and she flinched eyes flying to his face. Her body was tense with pent up emotion. Her eyes flitted to Obi-Wan's for a moment, and he caught her gaze.
"Its in the past… you said," Obi-Wan said quietly in the firelight, "What of the future?"
And then it was just… her. Arkken squeezed her arms gently. Her eyes, her hair, longer now, than when she was his padawan.
"You've grown up," he said.
"Yes, I did," she answered evenly.
"I wish I could have been there."
"As do I… but you weren't."
"No… I wasn't," he breathed.
"What do you want from me, Arkken?" She asked, eyes burning with raw pain. "Do you want me to go back? Make things right? Be your padawan again?" She ripped herself out of his grip, stepping backwards.
"I have been a sith, Jedi. I have served under Sideous himself. I left them, forsaken, and now I serve him," she pointed above, "Because he's a decent man. This world and their ideals is a decent lot."
"And the force, what of it?" Yoda asked. "The darkside, I sense in you, young Enspire."
"I AM the darkside," she growled, voice harsh, "The dark flows through me, through the Shehault Knights." The other Jedi inhaled sharply at this. She paused and then continued.
"I am the darkness. And I am the light. The force sensitive of this world are balanced in a way that the Jedi have yet to achieve. There is nothing to fear in the dark, when you also have the light," Spire said. The jedi murmured in response, looking at each other in confusion. She shook her head. "You will understand in time."
"Gain such knowledge of the force, you have, you think. Where from did you learn this balance?" Yoda inquired, grasping his stick and leaning upon it heavily.
Spire smiled softly.
"When those you believe lost to you learn how to remain, their knowledge will be passed down and balance can begin."
Obi-Wan frowned, fiddling with his robes.
"Do you mean… you said once that the Lions were the great knights of the past… you weren't being…" his accent rolled in surprise, "literal, were you?"
"Lions?" Yoda asked in confusion.
"It doesn't matter," Spire waved her hand in dismissal. "What does matter is this: What happened is in the past. Though it still wounds me greatly. But that is not why I refuse to return with you. I am no longer a Jedi, masters. What I have learned, the way I serve, the way I teach – the attachments I make, they are all not what the Jedi are," she explained with growing weariness. She regarded Arkken. "I loved you so much, that it destroyed me, master. It might have been alright had you been there to weed it out of me but… you weren't. And now, I cannot… will not go back."
She turned her back then, regarding the students in block that she'd forgotten. They watched her with wide, curious eyes.
"I left you once. I won't do it again," Arkken's deep baritone wafted across the grass.
Spire froze.
Obi-Wan felt his heart, which was slowly growing more and more heavy, lighten as he watched the tall master walk toward his old student.
"This whole… five years has been a nightmare. I've suffered it. So have you. And now…" he stopped close to her back, "We are here. I've… I've found you. At last."
She felt the presence of him, her master's mind, against hers for the first time in – so long, so very long-
"Karin," he whispered, so close he could feel her body heat against his chest, "I won't leave you again."
"You… would leave the Jedi Order?" Karin whispered, turning her head ever so slightly.
Arkken turned his own head to look at Yoda. A small smile graced his lips.
"For you… Only for you."
Obi-Wan felt warmth pool in his stomach as she turned around and Arkken simply smiled at her. She swallowed hard eyes closing tightly in emotion. Arkken closed the gap and grasped her to him, so hard it looked as if she were smothered. Yoda grunted next to him, shaking his head.
"Happy ending at last, this is," Yoda said so softly it was meant for only his ears. A clawed finger poked his robes. "Done well, you have. At last, healing can begin."
"Students," Bareli called from above, his face pleasant and calm, "I believe you are dismissed to dinner now."
The hoard of pupils leaked to the exits of the garden as Ardemis crossed his arms, hugging himself tightly in the night air. He watched with a pang of jealousy as Karin buried her face against her master's chest, and the man wrapped his arms around her secure.
"What are we going to do with /another/ Jedi?" Ardemis grumbled as Galliya lead him by the elbow back into the building.
Obi-Wan made his way to his own master, and promptly flung himself into Qui-Gons arms.
"Whats this?" Qui-Gon asked.
"I'm just feeling a little… clingy right now, master," Obi-Wan withdrew with a grin.
"Oh really? I do hope this won't last," Qui-Gon smirked with merriment, "I don't think the locals can take much more emotional outbursting from the outworlders," he said, pointing to the people looking at them with curiosity. But Qui-Gon placed an arm around his padawan's shoulders and followed the crowd indoors, leaving the two lost souls in the courtyard.
The two had sunk to the grass, entwined.
"Karin," he asked softly. He head rested heavily in the nook of his shoulder and neck and he couldn't see her face.
"Master," she responded and hesitated, saying it again as is if it were taboo.
"…master…I never thought I would see you again…"
"I'm so sorry… so sorry. I should never have agreed to the council's plan… so sorry," he murmured, rocking gently. But no answer was forthcoming, only steady breathing and a desperation that transcended sleep as her hands clutched his waist.