Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon

Chapter Eight: The Void: Tai's Story
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I woke up this morning feeling totally excited. I know, I know, how could I possibly be excited about an exam? It was crazy, right? Well that wasn't why I was so thrilled about today. I couldn't wait to get to Odaiba High so I could announce my plans for our summer vacation.

I had been planning this trip for about two or three months now. I was lying in my dorm one night, watching TV alone—Matt was out with Mimi and Sora was busy studying—when a commercial came on for a trip to Mexico. It was like a light bulb went off in my head. Though I didn't plan to take the gang as far as Mexico, I definitely knew I wanted to bring us somewhere.

It was perfect; everything seemed to come together beautifully. My uncle Jack, who lives a few towns over, owns a hotel called 'Paradaisu Rizo-to' which means 'Paradise Resort'. I called him up one night and he said I could get four rooms at his hotel for free. I protested, saying that surely I should pay him something, but he wouldn't hear of it. "That's what family's for!" Uncle Jack had told me.

It was all set: August 6th, early Saturday morning, we would ride a bus over to the hotel. We would stay for three weeks, coming home on August 27th. I wish we could stay there forever, but we had to come home and go to school. I worked it out so we would get home a week before school started up, giving us just enough time to mentally prepare for the impending travesty.

I could hardly wait. It was only a month away but I didn't think I could make it that long. It was going to be great, I could just feel it! What better way to unwind and have fun than by taking a trip with your best friends? The best part would be that there would be no parents around, since Uncle Jack would most likely be too busy with clients to keep tabs on us.

Well actually, the best part would be Sora and I sharing a hotel room but…that's beside the point.

The majority of us—Sora, Matt, Mimi, Joe, Izzy and I—didn't really need to ask our parents' permission since we were 19. The only people who really needed permission were T.K. and Kari. I was fairly confident they'd be able to come, since Matt and I were going.

The only downside to my plan was that Izzy already knew about the trip. He overheard me talking to my uncle. If it were anyone else, I probably could have played it off, but Izzy's too smart for that nonsense.

I spilled my guts and made him promise to keep it a secret by threatening him. I think I scared him enough that he won't tell anyone. Plus, he wouldn't want to spoil the surprise for everyone else.

I pushed the entire matter out of my head as I showered and got dressed. I knew if I thought about it any more that I would go totally crazy with anticipation. I couldn't get too worked up just yet, since it was slightly over a month away.

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As I walked into Odaiba High, I looked around and couldn't believe it. This place seemed so different, and yet exactly the same. Is that even possible? It must be.

Being in high school seemed like it was a million years away, when in reality it was only one. I walked by the graduation plaques and searched until I found the one from last year—my year. I studied the faces of my friends and I and couldn't believe how different we looked.

While I'm sure to any stranger we'd still look exactly the same, to the trained eye I knew we looked different. We had been through a lot; we were a lot older and a lot more experienced than in the days of Odaiba High.

I, for one, changed quite a bit. Not only in age and looks, but mentally. I was a lot more levelheaded than I used to be, and definitely less stubborn. I thought things through, instead of just leaping into things and occasionally biting off more than I could chew.

I also took things more seriously, especially schoolwork. Don't get me wrong, I was still the goofball we all knew and loved—evidently, I still hadn't grown into a modest person—but I was just…different.

Last year, I used to pull a ton of pranks, trying to make some kind of 'Odaiba High History'. Now, I focus a little more on work and a little less on games—at least during class time, that is.

I can't be expected to settle down completely. Now, in college, it's like all the crazy parties are calling my name. I've actually broken several records—including one for the most alcohol consumption—but that's a different story.

I've grown up, but hey, I'm not a different person!

Actually, we were all pretty different, but that's growing up. I used to be scared of growing up, thinking I was going to be young and alive forever. But during my time at this school, I realized that was completely untrue.

I was going to get old; life was gong to happen whether I liked it or not. I wasn't going to sit back and wait for that day to blindside me, I was going to go out and live my life so when that day does come I can say 'it's been good.'

Tearing myself away from the pictures—and my own impeccably handsome graduation photo—I ventured off to find my other exam-taking friends. I finally found them standing in a group near the front, and I rushed over to meet them.

It was pretty uncomfortable being around Joe, but I didn't want to apologize. It was like he was challenging me, trying to see who would back down and give in first. Never being one to back down from a challenge, I stood my ground and didn't apologize—okay, maybe I've still got a bit of stubbornness in me. He did the same. Truthfully, I didn't really think I needed to apologize. What had I done wrong?

But now, having more time to think it over, I really wish I had apologized. That's right, I, Tai Kamiya, would have sacrificed my pride, sucked it up, and given in. I would have accepted defeat, had I known. But how was I to know what was going to happen in a few short hours? Let me rewind a bit, and explain how I got myself into this mess…

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I'm not sure what time it was, maybe around noon, when it happened. I remember standing up, getting ready to hand in my exam, when I heard the first gunshot.

That's right, it was a gunshot. It was followed by an intense scream, which was followed by yet another gunshot.

Everyone looked around, and I don't think most of them realized what was going on. Slowly, everyone came to the shocking realization that we, the students in Odaiba High, were under attack.

We ran out the door, like I'm sure everyone else in the school did, and entered the hallway.

I tried to adjust to my surroundings, but it was hard to get used to. People were running around, pushing past each other, trying desperately to make it out alive. It was much more of a challenge for us, being on the second floor and all. Up there was madness. I didn't know whether I was running toward or away from the shooter.

I started my search for the stairs when an unnerving thought occurred to me. Sora was here, in the middle of this craziness. I was slightly comforted to know that she at least had Matt to protect her. I knew he wouldn't let anything bad happen to her.

Then another thought occurred to me: Kari. She was here, too. She didn't have T.K. to protect her. She needed me, but where was she?

I had always been there to protect her; I took a lot of pride in that. No matter what she did, I would always worry about her. It wasn't that I didn't trust her, or anything like that. It was the rest of the world that I didn't trust.

They could corrupt themselves and each other as much as they wanted, but I'd be damned if they laid even a finger on my precious baby sister.

There I stood, stiff as a board, searching the faces of every girl who whizzed past me. I didn't know if Kari was on this floor, but I wasn't going to take the risk of assuming she wasn't. I wouldn't leave this school if I didn't know that Kari was safe.

I would put her safety and well being ahead of mine, like I tried to do all my life. Even when I was little, I was her self-proclaimed defender, and her happiness was the most important thing in the world to me.

Don't get me wrong; I wasn't this mature, responsible, wise-beyond-my-years kind of kid. I was reckless, silly, and immature. But when it came to Kari, I was a completely different person. I knew right from wrong and always thought about the consequences. I tried to set a good example, which I did…most of the time.

Since I was so tall, I could see over most of the people fairly easy. I saw a girl with short brown hair, medium height, who looked exactly like Kari. No, it was Kari. I ran over to her, coming up behind her.

"Kari!" I bellowed, but she never turned around.

I reached out to grab her and spin her around to face me. My hand got closer and closer and closer, until my fingertips were millimeters away from grazing her should.

That's when something happened.

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I remember lurching forward, and stumbling into the wall where a few lockers were.

I couldn't figure out why I was suddenly in so much pain. I looked down and saw the blood: it covered my hand, which was over my stomach.

When had I put my hand there? I didn't remember.

Suddenly, the hallway got really quiet, even quieter than it already was. My vision got really blurry and I could no longer make out people's faces. Maybe they were going by too fast, or maybe it was something else. I don't really know.

I started feeling really tired, like all I wanted to do was sleep. The girl I thought was Kari turned around, and it wasn't her. Though I couldn't see too well, I knew my sister's face, and this was not it.

It didn't look anything like my sister, actually. She stared at me in horror and ran away.

By now I was on the floor.

How had I gotten there? Did I fall? I didn't remember that, either.

What was the matter with me? And why was my stomach hurting so much? It was like my brain stopped functioning. As darkness eventually took over and I slipped into a dark abyss, I could only think of one thing. One person. And to my surprise, it wasn't Kari. It was Sora.

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Why wasn't I thinking about Kari, you ask? I had a realization; an epiphany, I guess you could call it. I didn't need to worry about my sister because that isn't what she was anymore: mine. She didn't belong to me anymore. Come to think of it, she never really did.

All this time, I had been so protective of her, but it wasn't so she would be safe, I realized. It was so I could feel better about myself…so I could feel like I had a purpose of some sort.

I was so obsessed with 'doing my job' as her older brother that I completely missed out on the real her. She didn't need me to fight her battles for her, or to come to her rescue. I wasn't the strong, reliable guy in her life who would always be there. No matter how hard I tried, I would eventually have to resign my post.

T.K., or some other guy, would assume that role one day. And you know what? That guy would be damned lucky, because he was getting one hell of a girl.

So now that I knew Kari no longer needed me, I had to ask myself a very important question. Where was I needed? Sora entered my mind once again. Yes, she needed me. She probably needed me right this minute, but I couldn't get to her.

I don't really know where I am, but I know where I'm not. I'm not with my friends or my family. And if I wasn't there, I didn't want to be anywhere.

I instantly regretted what I had thought. I wanted to be somewhere, anywhere. I didn't want to die.

Was I dead? If so, what was the cause? I searched my brain, but found nothing. No reason to explain my predicament.

All around me is black, and I'm floating. I try to scream out, but I'm not making any sound. I get the feeling that even if I had made a sound, nobody would hear it but me.

Wherever I was, time stood still there. It seemed like years, but it could have only been seconds. Was there even time where I was? There had to be, right? I wasn't so sure anymore. Time seemed to stretch on for eons, and at the same time, never even begin.

I try to move, but it's like invisible shackles are holding me down. Why can't I get free?

I decided that I might not be going anywhere for a while, so I should probably just busy myself by thinking about some stuff.

But what was there to think about?

Did I want to think about my friends, or would that be too painful? Where were they, anyway? Were they looking for me? Did they know I was here? Where was 'here' anyway? Was it a real place, or did it only exist in my mind?

I gave up on the endless amount of questions I was asking myself. If I had to ask the question, I probably didn't know the answer anyway.

The void, as I call it, is quiet and melancholic. That's where I am now. This sad, depressing, nothing place; it housed only my insignificant thoughts and myself.

The silence bothers me the most. I never did like it. That's probably why I'm so loud and talkative all the time.

I hate silence.

Truthfully, it scares me.

When people don't talk, I can't tell what they're thinking. I don't like not knowing and not being in control. That's probably why I hate this little void I'm stuck in.

I thought I heard a voice cutting through the silence. It was quiet, far off in the distance, but it was definitely a voice. I listened intently, trying to understand what the voice was saying. It got a little louder, loud enough for me to make out a bit of it. It sounded a little bit like my mother.

I shut my eyes and gave into her voice, letting it float into my eardrum and seep into my brain. It was comforting to hear her voice; it seemed like forever since we last talked. In reality, I talked to her three days ago, but it didn't seem like it.

For a second, I turned into a four-year-old who just got hurt and was crying for their mom to come and make it all better. I needed my mom now more than I ever had before. I wasn't crying though. Could I cry, if I tried? I couldn't even remember the last time I cried. Surely it wasn't that long ago, was it?

Did I cry when Sora left? I didn't think so, but I might just have trouble remembering. Come to think of it, I couldn't remember anything about that day…or that summer. Why couldn't I remember? That was probably the best summer of my life, how could I just forget it?

I tried to remember, but I just couldn't. I started to panic. If I couldn't remember that, what would I remember? I thought back, trying to pick out a memory, and found none. I could remember people, like Kari and Sora, but I couldn't remember other things.

I could picture Sora, her auburn hair and gorgeous crimson eyes. I can imagine the way she carries herself, the way a smile pulls at the sides of her mouth when I tell her I love her. I remember the cute way she pushes her hair over her shoulder and out of her face as she does her homework. I remember the circumstances under which we met, but I couldn't recall the exact memories of that day.

But I couldn't remember anything about her beyond her appearance, really.

But forget about that, I had more pressing things on my mind. How did I get here, anyway? My memory was definitely failing me.

I couldn't even remember the events leading up to me awakening in the void. Which made me ask another, more important, question.

How did I get out of here?

My mother's voice ceased, and the silence took over for a while. Then another voice started: Kari's. She sounded really sad about something, but I didn't understand what it could possibly be about. I wanted to go to her, to hug her and tell her everything would be okay. But I couldn't, and not just because I wasn't able to move. T.K. would be there for her, and I had to accept that.

The voice changed, and now it was Sora's. It was relaxing, but at the same time it made me feel anxious. I didn't know where her voice was coming from.

Was it up or down? Was she in front of me, or behind? If I didn't know where she was, did that mean she didn't know where I was? She talked for about the same time as Kari and my mother. Then, inevitable as it had become, silence took over.

Matt was next to talk.

I stayed motionless, listening as the rest of my friends' voices. They came, one by one, individually. Never did one overlap the other, which made me question whether they were all together or not.

Could I be I was having an out-of-body experience? Or was this maybe a dream? If it was a dream, it was definitely the longest dream I'd ever had.

Is it possible that I was sleeping? If so, was I hearing them talking like you hear your alarm clock when you're half awake? When it's all muffled and you don't really make the connection that it's going off right in your ear?

I don't feel like I was sleeping. I feel…numb.

I look around me, and although everything was black, I can see perfectly. My eyes had clearly adjusted to the darkness by now.

Suddenly, it got really bright. So bright that the light was practically blinding me. I put my hands over my face, shielding them from the unknown source of radiance.

It was then that I realized I could now move my arms and legs freely. After a long time of squinting and blinking, my eyes adjust to the brightness.

I open my eyes and peered at a huge rectangle, kind of like a big screen TV. It was a huge, white light. It seemed to be calling to me. I couldn't tear my eyes away from it.

No, this wasn't the path to heaven. No, I wasn't dead.

I raised an eyebrow to nobody in particular as I wondered what the hell was going on. A picture appeared in the 'TV'. It was of me holding a newborn Kari. I was so proud that day. But it's hard to think of a day I wasn't proud after she was born.

When I was little, just before my mom got pregnant with Kari, I was convinced having a little sister would be a ton of fun. Whenever I was out with my parents and we passed by a wishing well, I would throw in a quarter and wish for a sister.

Then, when my parents started preparing, they moved the baby's stuff into my room. Once I found out that I would have to share a room, the novelty of a baby sister suddenly wore off. I wanted things to stay the way they were. Mom, dad and me: The perfect, happy family.

That dumb baby was going to come in and wreck everything, I had thought. I held resentment for her before she had even arrived on earth. When she was born, I didn't want to hold her. My dad practically had to force her into my arms. And the second I first touched her I was hooked.

She stole my heart, and I knew she'd never give it back. Not that I wanted her to, or anything.

My memories of Kari were slowly coming back, but they weren't sparking anything else. All I could remember was Kari when she was born, and that was all.

The picture changed, and now it was of my neighbour Travis and I on our first day of school. Travis was my best friend until high school, when he moved away to America.

We used to talk on the phone and over the Internet pretty frequently. Slowly but surely, the letters and emails stopped coming. I'm not really sure if it was he or I, but I know that they stopped, and I never forgot that.

Every now and then I think about him and wonder if his life is like mine, and whether or not he even remembered who I was. I remember who he was.

More memories flowed into my mind, all of them about Travis and I playing soccer together.

The image on the screen changed once more, revealing a picture of Matt, Mimi, Sora, Joe, Izzy and I on graduation day. That day was so much fun. For most kids, graduation day is a mix of emotions. It was euphoric. We were officially done with high school, as we knew it.

Anyone and everyone, no matter who they were, had been excited to be out of there.

The jocks were excited to go on to university—on a scholarship, of course, they were all far too dense to get in the other way—and play sports. The nerds couldn't wait to go to Harvard, or somewhere impressive like that, where they would be appreciated and not stuffed into a locker.

The rebels, the Goths and the burnouts were just happy there would be no more pep rallies and showings of school spirit.

The fat, insecure girls were ecstatic that they would no longer have to suffer through homecoming dances and other formal affairs, to which none would ever get the date of their dreams—mostly because they were hung up on Mimi, I added with a snicker.

The last week of senior year was quite the experience. It felt new and exciting, but also scary, just like the first day of high school had been. Isn't it odd that the first and last day of high school—with four long years in between—can be so dramatically similar? We felt every emotion during those four years of high school, and I guess nervousness just tied them all together. They were the bookends, commemorating our high school endeavors.

Yes, the last week was something I would never forget.

Everyone tried to carry on and go about their daily routines, but we all knew what was coming. There was the mixed emotion of anticipation and dread. We wanted the moment to come this second, and yet we wanted it to stay a week away, just within our grasp but not close enough to actually happen, for the rest of our lives.

High school was the worst—and the greatest—time of our lives, but that didn't mean we weren't sad when it came time for it to end.

You made best friends and gained true enemies there. It's like I tell Kari all the time, "High school is where you find yourself." I don't think she believed me when I told her, but give her time and she will.

Just like I didn't believe it when I first heard it.

I still remember what happened after graduation. As we piled out of the school gymnasium that day, it was like we were sucked into the twilight zone.

The girls, as expected, make quite the spectacle of themselves. They hugged and cried, saying lines like "friends forever" and "I promise I'll write you everyday" and "I love you, never forget me" but I knew it was useless.

Deep down, they knew it too.

That's why they were crying.

The guys, on the other hand, were like a band of brothers. All around, jocks and nerds were getting along, the nerds saying something wise, like, "Study hard and you'll be rewarded", the jocks saying, "Remember: college isn't all about work, there are parties, too!"

We all made peace, and—in some strange way—bonded. It was incredibly bizarre, almost magical, in a way.

I can still picture Bobby Matthews and Albert Zimmerman talking together, literally having a conversation. In all the years I went to school with these two, I had only seen them together twice. Once, when Albert was handing Bobby the homework he did for him, and the second time, Bobby was stuffing Albert into a locker because he wouldn't do his homework for him. Those two memories may or may not be in the correct order; I can't seem to remember.

The picture changed once again, and it was of me. I stood there, dumbfounded, not believing the picture in front of me. I was lying in the school hallway, blood around me, kids running by.

Suddenly, I remembered how I got there.

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I remembered the exam being held at Odaiba High. I could see myself in the hallway with Sora and Matt talking to T.K. and Kari before we all went out separate ways. I could hear the tapping of pens, the grunts of frustration, the ticking of the clock—and in some cases, our futures—as we wrote our exam.

I could hear gunshots in the distance and see the panicked looks on my peers' faces. I saw myself in the hallway, searching for my sister. I saw the girl I thought was Kari, staring at me as I fell to the ground, a bullet in my stomach. That's when it all went black.

That's when my world caved in on top of me.

The cycle repeated itself in my head, over and over, the images getting faster each and every time.

Exams, classrooms, gunshots, hallways, Kari, bullet, pain, darkness.

Over and over and over and over until I didn't think it would ever stop. It kept building up in my head, louder and louder, faster and faster until—

It stopped.

I was left with silence.

In some ways, I wanted it to return, just so I wasn't faced with the unbearable quiet.

I realized where I was. It was all so clear now, why didn't I realize it before? I was in a coma.

For all I know, I might still be lying on the cold tiles of the top floor of my old high school, but I doubted it. Either way, I was trapped. I could go nowhere, say nothing, and reach no one. The only thing I had successfully managed to do was move my hands—whoop dee-do, right?

Were the others all okay? They had to be, since I could hear their voices.

Oh, they must have been talking to me. I guess I'm in the hospital then, right? So I'm the only one who got hit.

The funny thing is, I'm relieved that none of my friends were hurt. They're all strong enough. They can stay strong and depend on each other; they'd make it through without me.

Not like me, I couldn't make it through without them.

In a strange way, I'm glad it was me.

But I don't really feel panicky about my state. I guess it's because I can feel Sora's presence. Isn't that weird? I can literally feel her around me. Maybe I'm crazy, but I'm sure that if I were to wake up I would find her sitting beside me right now.

The screen changes, and now it's a picture of Sora. I don't think I've ever seen this picture before, though. She looks nervous, afraid of something. Her bright, crimson eyes are hollow, almost empty. I stare at it for a while until I can't take it anymore. I hate seeing her like this, but I don't really have a choice on what the screen shows me, do I?

Well, wherever this picture was taken, it doesn't matter. I can't really see a background, or any indication of where she could possibly be. She's just there, a world of black behind her, kind of like the one swirling around me. She seems to be glowing ever so slightly. Barely noticeable, but I'm sure of it.

I turn my head away. As much as I love her, I can't stand to look at her right now. It's like a constant reminder of what I can't have. The silence suddenly seems even more overwhelming than it had been a moment ago.

So I guess I'm stuck here, isolated inside myself. I'm like a rat in a maze, if you think about it. It's a strange feeling being in a coma.

It's almost like how you'd feel if you were shoved into a small, dark, empty box. You could fit fine and all, but you couldn't do anything but sit there dumbly and think, 'Hey, look at me: I'm in a box.'

But I'm not in a box. If I were in a box, I could break my way out and be fine. Here in my void (which, for future reference is the way I shall choose to call my state; coma is so threatening and unfriendly) there is no escape. You're alone with your thoughts, and that's when it sinks in.

I could die…

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Sorry if this chapter didn't seem realistic, but it was really hard for me to write it. I have no idea what it's like to be in a coma, so I wasn't too sure what Tai would be feeling. This is just my opinion, based on his character and my own personal preference.

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