Chapter Nine: Identities: Matt's Story
……………………………………………………………
It was the day after the shooting, a little bit before noon. Mimi and I had just arrived at the hospital. Everyone else from the group was either there or had already stopped by.
Izzy came earlier that morning, but had to leave. He would be back later, before visiting hours ended. Joe had been there since 9am, when visiting hours started. He would have been there anyway though, since he volunteered there during his time off.
On our way in, we ran into T.K. and Kari, who were in the cafeteria getting food with Kari's parents. They had also come at 9am that morning. According to Kari, Sora had somehow managed to stay in Tai's room overnight.
It's an exception the hospital sometimes makes, this being one of those times, I guess. I understood, and felt bad for Sora. All I could think about was her, alone in that dark room, all night.
We took the elevator to Tai's floor and wandered around until we finally found his room. I had never really been too good at directions and Mimi didn't even seem to be looking for the room, so it took us a while. When we got there I looked through the little window in the door and spotted Sora sitting at Tai's bedside. I pulled the door open and Mimi and I walked in.
"Have you been here all night?" I asked Sora softly.
"Yeah," she said simply, no emotion in her voice whatsoever.
"Did you sleep at all?" I asked, concerned.
"No." I could tell Sora wasn't acting like herself. Normally, she would have said more than two words to Mimi and I.
"Would anyone like something to eat?" Mrs. Kamiya asked, interrupted our 'conversation'.
"No thanks," Sora and I said in unison, my voice slightly more cheery than hers. Mimi just shook her head.
I'm starting to really worry about Mimi. I haven't really heard her talk at all since yesterday when I found her outside the school with Izzy and Joe.
At first, I assumed she was just in shock. I mean, we all were a little bit quiet, but she was acting totally weird. And today isn't any different. Mimi has always been talkative for as long as I've known her. But lately, it's like she's in a different world. She's so immersed in her thoughts that sometimes she won't even notice that I'm talking to her. I'll have to say her name four or five times before it finally registers with her that I'm talking. I was going to say something to her but we're all dealing with a lot right now and I don't want to upset her. I decided to give her a few more days and then I'll ask her what's up.
……………………………………………………………
"So what happened, if you don't mind me asking? I mean, what happened when you got shot?" I asked.
I was sitting in a hospital room talking to Steve, the drummer in my band. I was wandering aimlessly through the hospital in search of the elevator so I could get some coffee downstairs, when I ran into Steve.
He was trying to walk down the hall when I noticed him. He had gotten shot in the back of his left leg, but he was lucky. It wasn't too serious, thank God.
Now we were sitting in his room and he was telling me his story. He was a senior at Odaiba High, a year older than my brother.
"Well, I was sitting in class when the shots were fired. I didn't really know what to do: I hadn't ever been in a situation like that before. I just followed everyone else when they ran out the door into the hallway. I was running with the other kids, trying to get to the stairs when I heard this shot that seemed a lot louder than the other ones. I knew it was closer to me but I couldn't really figure out where it was coming from. It never occurred to me that the guy with the gun was right behind me. I just kept running like my life depended on it. I guess it kinda did though, huh?" He stopped telling his tale and chuckled. I was kind of dumbfounded at his actions. How could he laugh?
Nonetheless, I found myself snickering as well. Steve has this kind of contagious laugh that gets me every time. That's part of the reason why I wanted him to be in the band: we had a blast together.
"Anyway, I remember hearing another shot and seeing the girl beside me fall to the ground. I was in total shock; I mean, it's not everyday that a girl dies inches away from you," he noted.
I nodded, not really sure what to say. I couldn't say I understood, because I didn't. I hadn't witnessed death; I hadn't really ever been affected by death until yesterday. All my grandparents and older relatives were still alive and well. And who sits down and thinks about something like this happening in their life? No, I couldn't relate at all.
"I guess I sort of stopped running for a second, trying to recover from the shock. I must have, because the next thing I knew, I was here. It's weird, you know? I can't remember getting hit—or maybe I just blocked it out—but either way, it almost seems like it didn't really happen to me."
"Yeah, I know what you mean. I still can't believe that this happened…you always hear about it but you never think it could happen to you," I stated.
"But it can," he told me. "And it did, Matt. But I learned something from this whole experience, you know that?"
I looked at him curiously, praying to God that he didn't say how his accident changed his life and how things would be different for him now. I didn't think I'd be able to handle it. I was never really good with emotional and sentimental stuff.
"What's that?" I asked hesitantly.
"I'm never going to take life for granted. I learned that life is short and definitely uncertain," he preached. I bit my lip, telling myself to just grin and bear it. "I called my dad this morning. He and I haven't spoken in years, since he and my mom divorced. But it was so great to hear his voice. What happened was horrible, but it gave me my old man back and I won't mess it up with him again."
Okay, he's done. Wait—did he just say that? He couldn't possibly mean that what happened was a good thing, right?
"Look, Steve, that's great and all but you don't mean to say that you're grateful…" I started to say, when he interrupted.
"Jesus, no! Those bastards deserve every bad thing that could ever happen to them. I just mean that I'm gonna live life to the fullest. Carpe Diem, seize the day—all that crap," he said, laughing once again. I didn't chuckle with him this time. I just smiled faintly and stood up. I had a lot on my mind and I needed to get out of there.
"Well, get better man. I gotta go, but I'll try to stop by tomorrow or something," I offered.
"Yeah, see you then." I waved and stepped into the hallway, shutting the door behind me.
I didn't leave Steve's room because I was mad pissed off at him or his answer. I left because his words really hit me. I never thought about it that way until he said it. Carpe Diem...I would seize the day. I would go after what I wanted, and I would get it. And I knew exactly what I wanted, too.
……………………………………………………………
It was around four in the afternoon now. T.K., Kari, Mimi, Sora and I were sitting around Tai's hospital bed watching TV when the special report came on. It was about the shootings. I stood up to change the channel but Mimi grabbed my arm and forced me back down in my seat.
"We need to see this, Matt," she said in practically a whisper. I shook my head, not agreeing. As far as I was concerned, this was the last thing we needed to be seeing.
"Don't touch it. I want to see who was responsible for all of this," Kari pleaded.
I nodded, defeated, and relaxed in my chair once again. I hadn't really heard Mimi talk at all today before that, so I figured it must have been very important that she saw this report.
Apparently, they figured out who was responsible for the Odaiba High shootings, and they were all students. Kids that we saw everyday when we had gone there…I didn't know any of them too well but they all seemed normal enough. And when I say 'normal' I mean 'not a crazy psychotic lunatic who commits manslaughter'.
I couldn't even look at the pictures, knowing how much pain and hurt they had caused. I bet they were real pleased with themselves, too, wherever they were now. Probably rotting in hell, God willing.
But as they announced the names, I found my eyes glued to the screen. I couldn't look away even if I wanted to. I had to see them…I had to see the people who put my best friend in a coma.
"Davis Motomiya, known at school for his soccer skills, was said to be the leader of the attacks," a woman on the TV said as it showed a picture of Davis.
I had my arm around Mimi, who shivered as the woman said his name. I glanced down at her, concerned, but she didn't seem to notice. She was focusing really hard on what the newswoman had to say. At first I didn't get why Mimi was so bothered by it, but I quickly remembered how Davis spent our entire senior year following her around like a dog. She must be feeling really violated and bothered by the fact that he was a psychotic killer in the end.
"Ken Ichijouji," it continued on, showing a picture of Ken. "Ken was well-known throughout Odaiba for his athletic abilities and extraordinary intelligence, often being referred to as a 'genius'. We have been told that he was the mastermind behind the events."
I couldn't believe it. I knew Ken, and he was so normal, so down to earth. He was incredibly smart and an exceptional soccer player. He had his whole life ahead of him…and now this.
"Cody Hida, in grade eleven at Odaiba High, was another of the four shooters. He was described by classmates as a 'quiet and slightly shy boy'." It showed a picture of Cody, but I didn't remember this one from high school. Then again, maybe that was a good thing. I didn't want anything to do with any of these kids anymore.
"Jacob Tanaka, the last of the four shooters, is currently in police custody," it said as it showed a picture of him. I didn't remember him, either. "The other three teenagers, Davis, Ken and Cody, were all found deceased inside the school. Police have issued a statement concluding that the three boys committed suicide following the attacks."
"I hope it was worth it," T.K. said angrily. Everyone glanced in his direction, shocked by his outburst. "Well, really. If they were going to kill themselves in the end, why didn't they just do it and be done with it? Judging by the descriptions on the TV, nobody really would have missed them much anyway."
"T.K., where is this coming from?" I asked my brother. I've known his since he was born and I'd never heard him talk this way before. Never had I seen him wish anything bad upon anyone before now.
"I just think it's fucked that all these people had to die because of four losers that weren't happy with their lives. I hope that last one dies, too," he added spitefully.
"Yeah, but he won't. The police won't do anything. Nothing anywhere near what he deserves, at least," Sora explained. "He'll probably get charged as a minor and go to some juvenile penitentiary for a bit," she said hopelessly.
"I hope so," Kari said.
Well, at least one of us is acting normally, I thought. Kari was the one person I knew who could forgive anyone for anything, including putting her brother in a coma. She saw the good in everyone, and always thought that everyone deserved a second chance, including Jacob Tanaka. Though I don't really agree that he should get a second chance, I was happy to see that the experience hadn't changed us all. Kari was the same sweet girl she always was and always would be."Why would you hope for something like that?" T.K. asked her.
"Because," she explained, "that way it's much better. Everyone has it in for this bastard, including me. While he's locked up somewhere, everyone will get more and more pissed off about what happened. He had better watch his back when he gets out, that's all I'm saying," she said evilly.
So much for my theory about Kari.
I sighed, and continued watching TV. The show we were watching had returned while we were talking. I tried to put what I had just heard behind me, but I was having trouble doing so.
Did T.K. really feel that way? Could Kari actually have it in for someone?
……………………………………………………………
The days slipped into a fairly simplistic but definitely repetitive routine. Mimi and I get to the hospital at about noon, and depending on the circumstances, mostly everyone will be there already. Things have been known to come up suddenly causing people to adjust their schedules, but there was one thing that would be the same every time I got there. I would find Sora in Tai's hospital room, where she had been for three days—which is as long as Tai had been in there.
"Sora, dear, why don't you eat something?" Mrs. Kamiya offered. It was just like her, too. Her son is fighting for his life and she's making sure nobody is hungry. But that was Mrs. Kamiya, and that's why we all loved her. She made you feel like her own kid, no matter who you were.
"No thanks, I'm not hungry," Sora said.
I sighed in my chair as I sat beside Tai's bedside, my focus shifting to Sora. She had always been so logical, so different from the girl before me now. This whole thing with Tai really hit her hard. She's so quiet now, so immersed in Tai that she doesn't even notice what's going on around her. I haven't really seen her leave Tai's room since we got here, and if she did, she didn't go far.
I looked out the window in the door and saw Mimi walk by slowly, as if she was in a daze. I suddenly got very angry with my girlfriend. I can understand that she was affected by what happened—we all were, but there was a difference. We were dealing. Most of us were, anyway. Sora was a major wreck, and she needed her best friend.
I stood up and raced out into the hallway after her.
"Meems! Meems!" She stopped walking and turned around, smiling faintly. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"
……………………………………………………………
K, so this chapter didn't really come out the way I had planned. I'm not really happy with it so I'll post the next chapter sooner than usual to make up for it : )
Now make my day and review!