Disclaimer: don't own it, never will.

I will finish this fic. I started it, and I will see it through to the end because it is one of my biggest pet peeves when someone doesn't finish what they started. The only way this won't get finished is if I die. And even then, I'll find a way to come back and post the rest.

Chapter Seventeen: The Aftermath
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"You have no new messages," the annoying, mechanical voice on my voice mail inbox tells me. Frustrated, I snap my cell phone shut and stuff it back in my purse. I put my shopping bags in the back seat, get in my car, and drive home.

It's been a few days since the party, so why hasn't Sora called yet? She knows she's the one that should be apologizing, not me, right? I mean, how could she even think I'm the one who's wrong in all this? Sure, I did call her out in the middle of the party, but if was my party, after all. It's kind of like that saying, 'it's my party and I'll cry if I want to'. Only in this situation, it would be, 'it's my party, so I'll freak out on my best friend and make everyone see her for what she really is, if I want to'.

She's the one who got herself into this mess, it wasn't my doing. It's not like I held a gun to her head and said, "Okay, Sora, either you become a total loser burnout and start freezing out your friends, or I'll pull the trigger."

But she's obviously not going to give in. Clearly, she has her head way too far up her ass to pick up a phone and apologize for becoming a total screw-up. Maybe she's so messed up now that she doesn't even realize anything's wrong. What if she doesn't even remember that we got into a fight? Yeah, that must be it. She was probably stoned, I bet.

You told her your friendship was over. You told her to never speak to you again. Why do you care if she calls you? Isn't that the opposite of what you wanted? The voice inside my head reminds me.

Okay, so I did say those things. But I didn't really mean them. Then again, Sora doesn't know that. So maybe, if we're ever going to resolve this fight, I need to make the first move.

On my way home from the mall, I go by Sora's street. After a moment of hesitation (and an annoyed honk from a middle-aged, balding guy driving what was possibly the tackiest car I've ever seen), I make a right and head toward her house.

After a minute, I pull into her driveway. What am I doing here? I ask myself. She might not even be home. Then what? More importantly, what if she is home? What will happen then? I don't have the slightest clue about what I'll say to her, and yet, here I am. I ring the doorbell and stand there for a moment. Finally, the door swings open. When Mrs. Takenouchi tells me that Sora isn't home, I can't figure out whether I'm relieved or disappointed.

"Oh, okay. Do you know if she has her cell phone on her, so I could give her a call?" I ask.

"I don't have a clue. I just don't know anymore, Mimi," she says with a sigh. I get the feeling we are no longer just talking about cell phones.

"Is everything okay?" I ask, concerned. She shakes her head and sighs again.

"Maybe you should come inside, dear."

I nod and follow her in, trying to stay calm. What's going on with Sora? Not only is she keeping her friends in the dark, but her mother too? Poor Mrs. Takenouchi, sitting at home wondering where her daughter is and what the hell she's doing. I can't even imagine how she must feel.

We sit down at her kitchen table, and it feels awkward. I have spent more than my fair share of time inside the Takenouchi house, but it seems different now. Maybe it's because Sora isn't here, and I feel like I'm invading her privacy just by being there. But maybe it's more than that. The entire atmosphere seems strange, like something is missing. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's there. I know it is.

"Earlier today, Sora's cell phone rang. She was in the shower, and it went to voicemail. I don't know what came over me, but next thing I knew, I was listening to the message that some girl left for her. I'm not proud of my behaviour, but I stand by what I did. Something has been going on with my daughter, and I needed to get to the bottom of it," she tells me. I nod along at all the appropriate places, waiting for her to continue. "I think Sora might be getting in over her head. I think she's been…making bad decisions." I know what she means by 'bad decisions'. She says 'bad decisions' because she doesn't want to say what's really going on. Or maybe she just isn't ready to admit it to herself yet.

"Mrs. Takenouchi, if you're so concerned with Sora's behaviour, why don't you just confront her about it?" I ask. She looks deep into my eyes, and I can tell she is really thinking now.

"The same reason you haven't," she says simply. "Have you been noticing anything strange about Sora lately? Or is it just me?"

The way I see it, I have two options.

I can tell Sora's mother that no, I haven't noticed any strange behaviour on Sora's part. In other words, I can lie my ass off to the woman who, at times, has been more of a mother to me than my own mother has been.

Or, I can tell her that not only have I noticed it, but I know the cause of it, too. But that would be the sneakiest, most underhanded thing I have ever done. Sora would hate me, and I might even hate myself a little, too.

I decide that if I'm ever going to help Sora, I might need to betray her first.

"No, it isn't just you. Sora…she's been a little different lately," I state. I don't want to divulge too much information, only as much as I have to. I promise myself that I will only tell her what she asks of me, and will not give out any addition information.

"How so?"

"She's kind of been avoiding us lately," I tell her. "All of us."

"But then where does she go when she's goes out? Who is she with, Mimi?" Mrs. Takenouchi is not making this any easier for me. She's asking me all the questions I want to avoid, and then some. "I know that you know. Please just tell me."

"Do you remember a girl named Summer?" I ask after a moment's hesitation. "She went to Odaiba High with us."

"No, I don't. Why?"

"Because, that's who Sora's been with lately. And, I think you should know…she's not the most respectable person. I mean, she's into some bad stuff, that girl. I think that maybe she's starting to drag Sora down with her. Or at least trying to."

I know I probably seem like the world's biggest bitch for ratting on Sora like this, but I don't mean to be, really. I don't want Sora to get in trouble with her mother, but she stands to get into a lot more trouble with the direction she's headed in. I'm already losing Tai; I can't lose her, too.

"What do you think I should do? I mean, you're her best friend…can't you talk to her? Can't you reason with her, or something?" she asks me. I bite my lip uncomfortably, debating whether or not I should tell her that I'm not really on speaking terms with her daughter right now.

"Well, things haven't been too good between Sora and I lately. I haven't really talked to her at all, with the exception of my party the other night. And, long story short, that didn't really end too well." I take a deep breath, not sure of what to say.

I can say what I want to say, which is that Sora is safe and healthy and not doing anything that she shouldn't be. But that would be a lie, and all of my prayers and wishful thinking can't change that. Or, I can say what I should say. I can sell out my best friend, in hopes that she comes to her senses and gets her life back together.

"What are you trying to say?" Mrs. Takenouchi asks. I think she knows what's coming, but she wants to hear me say it. She wants me to say the words. She needs me to say the words.

"I don't want to say anything that would get Sora into trouble. I mean, after all, I don't know for sure that she's doing anything bad. But I know Summer, and I know her friends. I know how they are and what they do, and I know that they aren't the kind of people you or I want Sora mixed up with. All I'm saying is that you aren't wrong in thinking Sora is up to something."

I hope I'm not overstepping my boundaries and doing something hideously inappropriate, like telling Mrs. Takenouchi how to raise her kid or something. I said what I said out of genuine love and concern for her daughter, my best friend (or ex-best friend? I really haven't the slightest clue as to what our relationship can be classified as right now).

"Thank you, Mimi. You're a good friend. Please don't feel like you're betraying Sora. I know it must be hard for you, but you did the right thing. Not saying something would have been letting her down. My daughter is lucky to have you in her life," she tells me.

I smile. Mrs. Takenouchi has that skill: she can make anyone feel loved and comfortable in her presence. She's like a second mother to me, and suddenly, hanging out with her in this house without Sora doesn't seem so strange. But still, I need to be getting home. If Sora walked in right now and found us together, she wouldn't be too pleased. And then she'd really never talk to me again.

I stand up and Mrs. Takenouchi walks me to the door.

"My daughter can be awfully stubborn when she wants to be, I'm sure you know that. Please don't give up on her; she needs all the love she can get right now."

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It's been three days since Izzy's party fiasco. In that time, I've dialed Mimi's number seven times. I've also hung up seven times. I want to call her, but I just can't. Not after what happened. Frankly, I don't really think I should be apologizing, anyway. She's the one who called me out, and probably ruined the entire dinner after I left.

I mean, so what if I've being doing some pretty bad stuff? I'm her best friend (at least I was at one time) and she should want me to be happy. I want her to be happy, and if she wants to be a goody-two-shoes, then whatever. That keeps her happy, so good for her.

This makes me happy.

Tai used to make me happy...

He doesn't anymore.

Now, when I think about Tai, I cry. I can't think about him without wanting to die. How could he do this to me? Did he know what he was doing? Does he know that if he dies, I will too? I don't think he does. Why didn't I tell him that? Maybe if I told him how much he meant to me, it wouldn't have happened this way. But I didn't tell him. The last thing I said to him was 'Good luck, don't fail.'

Not 'I love you, Tai.' Not 'you mean more to me than you'll ever know'. In a way, I think he knew. I hope he knew.

'Good luck, don't fail.' What a joke. Did it really matter if he failed? No. Not in the big picture. Maybe it mattered to his parents, to future employers, to the school, to Kari. Not to me. I would have loved him even if he killed someone. I can never stop loving him. Not now, not ever.

Believe me, I've tried.

That's right. As terrible as it sounds, I really have tried to stop loving Tai. Things would be so much simpler if I didn't love him so much. Hell, if I didn't love him, none of this would have happened in the first place.

When we were applying to colleges, Tai got a soccer scholarship to a really good school in America. But he didn't take it. He said he wanted to stay in Japan, that the idea of moving to a foreign country didn't sound too appealing. That was a lie. He was trying to make me feel better, because the truth was that he didn't want to leave me. I'm not being conceited or anything, it's just the truth. He knew it and I knew it. I think he knew that I knew, too, but never said anything about it.

I wish he had gone. Even though it would have killed me to say goodbye to him, at least he would be safe. At least I would know I would have the chance to say 'hello' again. I might not get to say that to him again. I might never get to see him with his eyes open again. I might never get to see that stupid grin or that messy hair, ever again.

I would have given him up if it meant keeping him alive. But he didn't go, and he's paying for that decision now. We all are, and that sucks.

Tai, why didn't you listen to me? Why didn't you go to America when you had the chance?

But I'm not mad at Tai. I could never be mad at Tai. I could never stop loving Tai, either. And that's the worst feeling in the world. It used to be a good feeling, but not anymore. Now, it only causes a lot of pain and more tears than I ever thought it humanly possible for a single person to cry in their entire lifetime.

He's the lucky one. That probably sounds crazy, but it's true. He's in a coma, for God's sake. He's unconscious, totally unaware of everything that's happening around him. He doesn't feel anything. He can't feel pain, he can't feel the despair and sadness that all of us are feeling. He's totally oblivious to the fact that he's in a coma. He has no idea of the hell he's putting us through. It isn't his fault, I know that. But still...I can't help but wish that we could switch places.

Tai could make it without me. I can't without him.

I have learned the truth about love. It doesn't exist to make you feel good, to give your life meaning. Love's an excuse to get hurt. Everyone who has ever been in love, at one point or another, has been hurt. I've been in love. I've been hurt.

Mimi's in love. Mimi will be hurt. It hasn't happened yet, but it will. Trust me, it will. I can warn her all I want, but I can't stop it. The process has already started. Maybe Matt will call off the wedding, maybe her parents will object. Maybe Tai will die and everything will just fall apart for her.

No matter what the reason, she will get hurt. And as terrible as it sounds, I can't wait.

I can't wait because then, she'll finally understand. Maybe, just maybe, she'll know what it feels like for me right now. But when that happens, I won't be around. I won't be there because she pushed me away.

This was her doing, not mine. I refuse to be the one who apologizes, because I have done nothing wrong.

She's wrong. And you know what? She deserves to hurt.

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The remainder of the week passed without incident. We were all pretty shell-shocked from the fight between Sora and Mimi. I couldn't believe they were actually saying those things to each other. They used to be best friends, now they practically hate one another. I hope I'm never like that with one of my friends.

After Sora stormed off, we tried to salvage the rest of dinner as best we could. We were, overall, pretty unsuccessful. Almost immediately after dinner was over, we all broke apart and went home. It was really awkward. It felt like we were strangers who were locked in a room together, not best friends celebrating something great. We didn't know what to say or do around Mimi. Not because we were scared she would freak on us, or anything. We just didn't know what to say.

On the car ride home from Izzy's, Kari and I discussed it. I found myself siding with Mimi. Not because I like Mimi better that Sora, or any superficial reasoning like that. It was just because Sora didn't seem to defend herself too much. She kind of just conceded to Mimi's accusations, and didn't even both to offer an excuse or explanation. And what she admitted to doing was pretty bad. Well, what Mimi said she was doing after she left had been pretty bad.

Kari, on the other hand, sided with Sora. She argued that Sora was going through a much harder time than Mimi was, and she needed our support. After all, Mimi just got engaged, while Sora's boyfriend is in critical condition. I had to agree with that, but my opinion didn't waver.

In the end, though we didn't say it aloud, we knew we really were playing favourites. Mimi, my future sister-in-law, was the obvious choice to me. Sora, Kari's potential sister-in-law-who-is-more-like-a-real-sister, was hers. When I walked her to her door and kissed her goodnight, there was some tension between us. I'm not sure why. I couldn't put my finger on it then, and I don't think I can now either, but it was definitely there. It was there, coming between us. I vowed that I wouldn't let it tear us apart.

I am currently sitting in my last class of the day: math. I have no clue what the hell my teacher is saying, nor do I care. This is my final class of my final day of grade eleven. And, the way it stands now, my final day of attending Odaiba High (while technically it will be spent in the building of my future school, Odaiba Public). This is confusing.

I've got it all planned out. I'm just going to transfer to the school I'm in now. It will be a little different, but I'll get used to it. I hate to sound cocky, but I don't really think I'll have any trouble fitting in, either.

I stare up at the clock as my last few seconds as a member of Odaiba High tick away. Five, four, three, two, one. The bell rings, and everyone piles out of class. My teacher is behind us yelling, "Remember, your exam is Monday at noon!"

I shudder, remembering the last time there were exams at noon. I mentally slap myself, and tell myself that I must calm down. Everything will be fine. I'll get through exams, and then I can finally kiss this school goodbye. It'll be a year earlier than I expected, too.

I walk down the hall, trying to avoid the mob of kids trying to get the hell out of school and salvage what's left of their summer vacations. School had to run about two weeks into vacation because of the shootings. Plus exams, we've almost lost a full month of no school. Which really sucks, when you think about it. But still, no matter how much it sucks, I'd much rather be in school during June than in the ground with a bullet in me. So when you consider the alternative, our version of 'summer school' is a pretty sweet deal.

I head over to my locker and empty it. The only time I'll be here from this point on is to take my exams. I will not show up for detention. I will not.

About a dozen of the kids that pass me are talking about me, and how I'll be expelled come Monday. They try to act all nonchalant about it, but they're shit at whispering. It's okay, let them talk. I've learned that it's better to let them get it out of their system. Ashley told me that the day after the fight. She said that people are always going to talk, if not about this than about something else. I should be flattered, she said, because they obviously care enough about me to make up the crazy rumors that are flying around.

I have heard some of the rumors, and they're absolutely hilarious. One is that I killed one of the guys, and while everyone says I'm switching schools, I'm really changing my name and fleeing the country, you know, for legal purposes. What a joke. I have newfound respect for Ashley, who has to put up with this kind of shit everyday. Whatever, let them talk. After today, I never have to see them again.

After gathering all my books, I head over to Kari's locker to pick her up. This is our last day of school together, I think.

I see Kari standing at her locker, and walk up behind her. I plant a kiss on her cheek. She doesn't seem to notice.

"You okay?" I ask. She shakes her head.

"No. This is our last day together, T.K." I feel kind of bad, seeing how upset she is (and also a little freaked, like she can read my mind or something). But I can't really change anything now. Well, I could, but I don't think I want to. "You really don't think it's worth it? You really aren't going to go to your detentions and come back next year?"

"No, I'm not. It doesn't make a difference, does it? I mean, it's only a year. Nothing will change between us, just because we'll be in two different schools," I assure her.

"I know, but we won't get to graduate together. I won't get to see you everyday at lunch. You won't get to walk me to class every morning," she says. I hadn't even thought of it that way. I was really going to miss Kari. I would still see her outside of school, but it wouldn't be the same. And what about all of my other friends? This was our last year together before we all split apart, went off to college and started our real lives. I was going to miss out on graduation, a huge milestone for us. Not only did I want to graduate with them, but I also deserved to graduate with them. "I can't believe I won't get to see you everyday. And, honestly, I'm scared. I mean, I was feeling a little uneasy about coming back to school, but I did it because I knew you would be there to protect me. But now, you're not going to be there anymore. And I just don't know how I'm going to manage without you," she confesses.

I wrap my arms around her and tell her not to worry. "Anytime you need me, I'll be there. I'm not going anywhere," I tell her. This is important to her. I have to make her believe that. Since the shootings, Kari has a harder time trusting in me than she did before. The only other person she really completely trusted was Tai. He said he would always be there, and he was for the most part. But he wasn't anymore. Now, she's scared that I'll do the same. But I won't.

"I'm gonna miss you so much, T.K."

"I'm not going anywhere," I repeat.

"Yes, you are. And I'm sorry that it might not be a big deal to you, but it is to me!" Kari cries. I cup her face with my hands and stare into her eyes.

"No, I'm not. I'm not going anywhere." Kari looks at me, and a slow, uncertain smile creeps across her face.

"Promise?"

"Promise. Now let's go. I wanna get out of this place and get on with my weekend." I grab her hand and attempt to drag her away from her locker. "Especially since I have to be back here Monday for my math exam and detention," I add. She quickly shuts her locker, grabs her bag, and smiles sweetly at me.

"Ready," she reports as I slip my arm around her shoulder. As we walk down the hall, we pass by Principal Nagasi.

"Have a good summer, Hikari," she says with a smile.

"You too, Principal Nagasi," Kari says politely. I roll my eyes at her sudden sweetness. I mean, yeah, Kari is a really sweet girl, but come on. She lays it on a little thick around teachers and other adults…and they don't even notice! We joke about it all the time. She thinks it's just as funny as I do.

"And you, Takeru. I hope to see you soon," she says earnestly.

"Bye," I mutter. Even though I have decided to attend my scheduled detentions, I am not ready to divulge that piece of information to her. She is the one forcing me to go to detention. She doesn't deserve the piece of mind over this weekend. She stares at me, her eyes pleading with me to show up.

We walk by the gymnasium on our way out. They are setting up for a special memorial assembly that we're hosting tomorrow. We were supposed to have it at Odaiba High a while ago, the day before we went back to school, but…we all know what happened.

So, when they rescheduled, they decided to hold it on Saturday so it would not interrupt any classes. Personally, I would have appreciated the distraction, but whatever. There are pictures covering the wall, pictures of all the students and teachers that have been hurt or killed. I don't see Tai's picture, but I know it's there. I squeeze Kari's hand softly as we make our way out of the building.

We get into my parents car—I convinced my mom to let me take it today—and I drive over to her house. I pull into her empty driveway and we get out. I walk her to her door. I lean in to kiss her softly, but she grabs my face with her hands and pulls me even closer, crushing our lips together. The kiss is intense and passionate. They've all been like this, lately. I don't object…why would I? She somehow manages to get her keys from her purse and open the door. We stumble into her house and I pull away.

"Nobody's home," she tells me, though I already know that. I look around, and note how empty the house looks. Even when Tai was away at college and living in a dorm, it still had his presence there. Now, it looks empty and lonely. Her parents are either working or at the hospital with Tai. They hardly ever see Kari anymore, unless she's at the hospital with them. The last time she ate dinner with them was almost two weeks ago.

Lately, she's been eating dinner at my house, with my family. They don't mind, since they love Kari like she's their own daughter. Plus, we always have extra food at dinnertime. Especially now, since Matt is always with Mimi.

Kari shuts the door and our kiss continues. I press her against the wall and she wraps her legs around my waist. Any thoughts I had are pushed out of my mind as my hormones take over.

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Okay, it's kind of short, I know. But next chapter is better, promise.

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