16
Getting ready for work that morning had been torturous. CC knew that in less than an hour, she would see him again, and she hadn't even thought out what she would do. She never actually got an opportunity to reply to what he had said, and even though she wasn't sure how to, it was necessary. Even more importantly, she wanted to respond; the words were just eluding her.
As she made her way up the steps of the Sheffield residence, CC debated turning around and going home. She could buy herself some time and maybe even come up with some well thought-out statements, but then he might get the wrong idea. If CC delayed it too long, she knew things would somehow blow up in their faces. Of course, she also debated the merit of the 'direct route'; she thought about ringing the doorbell, and when he answered, she'd grab him and kiss him. If that didn't tell Niles that his confession hadn't fallen on deaf ears, what would?
When she finally managed the courage to press the doorbell, CC decided to do whatever felt most natural when the door opened. Of course, when the door did finally fling open, she was entirely disappointed to find Max standing there.
"Maxwell?" Ok, so it wasn't exactly highly intelligent dialogue.
"Good morning, CC. Isn't it a lovely day out today?" Casting a glance over her shoulder, he noticed how lovely and sunny the day was.
"Uh, yes, it is," she said, still stunned. Why hadn't Niles answered the door? He was there, wasn't he? He had made it home safely, didn't he?
"Well, no need to stand in the doorway all day," Max said, waving her in.
CC hoped that her motor functions still worked. She had put so much of her energy into planning how she'd deal with him when he opened the door that she never imagined running into him somewhere else in the house. "Oh, yes, most definitely. Sorry, I didn't sleep much last night," she said.
"Well, come on in. I smelled coffee when I was in the kitchen earlier, and I'm sure there's breakfast by now as well," Maxwell said, leading towards the dining room.
It was only when they entered, that she felt like she could breathe again. He wasn't there either. Where the hell was he? "I'm going to make a phone call," CC said, walking towards the kitchen. It was a horrible excuse, but it was something.
Pushing open the door, her heart caught in her throat. There he was, carefully filling plates with delectable-looking food. "Good morning…again," she managed.
"Hello," he said, looking up and seeing her standing only feet away. He wondered if she would come in to work or if she would stay home, trying to come up with an excuse as to why they wouldn't work out. A part of him felt overjoyed at her showing up, but now he had a whole other set of emotions to contend with.
"You left so quickly this morning I felt like we didn't really finish our conversation," she said, moving closer. She wanted to be nearer to him, even if it was only a matter of inches. After he had left, the apartment felt so lonely and although Chester had been good company for all of five minutes, the time after that had been unbearable.
"I didn't think there was much more to say," he admitted, finally finding her eyes.
"I think there's a lot more to say." CC tapped her finger against the edge of the counter. "But I suppose right now you have to serve breakfast?"
Niles nodded. "I do."
"Will you have time to talk once you clear the table?" She watched him, wondering where this newfound insecurity came from. The Niles she had spent so many years admiring from afar was anything but insecure, but suddenly here he was, arranging and rearranging strawberries on a platter of crepes.
"I will, yes. Will you have time to talk?"
"I'll make time, if you want," she offered. There wasn't a shred of her usual pomp in her statement.
"Alright – well, you should go join the family for breakfast. You didn't eat this morning, did you?"
Shaking her head, she wondered how he knew that. She would have had time to get a quick bite after he left, and still manage to finish getting ready.
"Go take a seat, I'll be there in a minute, and then we'll talk after breakfast, ok?"
"Alright. Soon, then," she said, seeking whatever small reassurance he could give her.
"Yes, soon."
Breakfast seemed to last forever, CC thought, as she chewed her food carefully, trying to avoid looking up. She was certain that if she spoke to Niles in front of the family, they'd be able to see right through them.
When it finally came time to clear the table, she wasn't sure if she was feeling relief or nervousness at the impending task. She was finally going to talk to Niles and tell him her side of the story. Maybe, if she was lucky, he'd accept her 'Reader's Digest' condensed version, though she highly doubted it.
Excusing herself from the table, she quickly disappeared into the kitchen while Fran and the kids were saying their goodbyes for the day.
"Breakfast was great," CC said quietly. She had never had a meal with Niles that she didn't love, but she had never told him that. It was all a part of the dance they had been doing for most of their lives.
"Thank you."
Taking a breath and steeling herself CC decided to jump in with both feet. "What you said last night made me think," she explained, "and it made me wonder what there could be between us."
Lowering a plate into the dishwasher, Niles didn't look up. "And what, if any, conclusion, did you come to?"
"That we should try it out and see what happens." CC felt proud of that; she knew that it was going to be hard for them to make something work, but she wanted to try at least, and that was progress for her. CC Babcock was not the kind of woman to put an effort into relationships.
Niles cringed at her statement. He hadn't expected an impassioned profession of love, but a test-drive wasn't quite what he had in mind either. "Oh…take me out, see how I handle?"
"What?" Completely confused, CC looked at him anxiously.
"You know: kick the tires and check under my hood?" Thrusting the last dish into the dishwasher with more gusto than necessary, he stopped quickly. "Where, if anywhere, do you see us going? Where would we take a relationship?"
CC flinched at the directness of his words. "I don't know. Until this morning, I barely knew I wanted a relationship. My mind has only wandered as far as holding you." It was ninety-percent true. Her imagination had wandered further, but somehow discussing some details seemed tacky.
His shoulders fell and Niles seemed to deflate. He knew exactly where he wanted them to be, given the right opportunity.
"Why haven't you thought about where this could go?" He knew the answer to his question even before he asked it, but he hoped that this was something he'd be wrong about.
"I just never thought about it, Niles. Please don't make this harder than it has to be. I've only a few times considered something between us, and it was pretty quickly killed when we'd start one of our fights…"
Shaking his head, he hoped she didn't get the wrong idea. It wasn't so much that he didn't believe as much as he figured she only let her think about so much of it. "Could you ever get over what I do? Would you ever come to terms with the fact that just because I'm a butler, it isn't who I am?"
Swallowing hard, CC hoped that she knew the right response. What would she say? "Who says I haven't already?"
Niles just stared at her, speechless. He had half-expected his comment to remind her of the inevitable truth of his caste in life and for her to turn tail and run as fast and hard away from him as she could.
"I'm not going to date a butler," she said calmly, and she watched his expression fall. "I'm going to date you. That's entirely different." The twinkle in her eyes when she said it mirrored the way her heart was beating fast. Everything about that moment struck her as being perfect. So she hadn't managed to profess her love, but she had managed to tell him that she wanted to give them a try – he had to accept that she was working in baby steps.
"We're going to go out on a date," Niles asked, watching her intently. He had never seen her look so incredible as she did the moment she said they'd be going out on a date.
"Hopefully more than one," she assured him. "We're not going to be a traditional couple, so if that's what you're expecting, then maybe this needs to stop before it really begins…but I think we'd have a lot of fun together." Dating, in her mind, was really a foreign concept. She had flings, and even what might be considered fleeting romances, but dating was something else to her. CC Babcock had never really dated someone.
"When do we start," he asked eagerly, still not having made his way around the kitchen island to her side. Touching her still seemed like a distant concept and he didn't want to push her too fast, only to make her realize that he was somehow not what she wanted.
"Tonight?" She hoped she wasn't pushing too hard. This was all completely foreign territory to her.
"Tonight then. I'll pick you up at 7?"
CC nodded, suddenly elated that they were going out on a real date. She had no clue what she'd say, or what she'd do, but they were going out.
"May I just suggest a ground rule," Niles asked, hoping she wouldn't misunderstand what he intended.
Unsure how to respond, CC just shrugged. A ground rule? That didn't sound very romantic, and in fact it sounded quite ominous.
"CC," he began. It felt odd to say her name out loud. Had he watched her expression, he would have seen her eyes light up when he said her name. It gave her chills to hear the way he said it. "You can barely admit to yourself that you might have even the most basic thoughts of us as friends, let alone lovers. I don't think there's anything to be achieved by telling everyone."
She wanted to tell him that he was wrong, and that it didn't matter who knew, but there was also a self-preservation measure added into it, she imagined. If things didn't work out, they'd be seeing each other day in and out for years to come, and it would only make matters more difficult if the entire Sheffield family and that nosy Nanny Fine knew all the details. "For now, right? Not forever?"
Niles smiled at the thought that she considered them potentially having a forever. "Most certainly not forever," he assured her.
"So then I'll see you at 7?"
"Tonight." Smiling, he watched her as she made her way out of the kitchen. The CC he was just talking with was unlike any he had known through the years. Impressed by her vulnerability and softness, he wondered why they had waited so long to make this move. 7 o'clock could not come soon enough.
17
CC had tried on four different outfits and quickly removed each. The first had been a camel-colored suit that struck her as too business-like for a first date. The second, a floral print strapless dress seemed much too informal. The second dress she had tried on reminded her of another first date she had gone on. It had ended disastrously, which was an event she hoped wouldn't be repeated by the evening ahead. The fourth ensemble reminded her too much of her mother – too many rigid lines and gaudy bobbles—and CC secretly resigned herself to going shopping sometime soon. If she and Niles were to go out on dates, she would require some suitable clothing.
Digging to the back of her closet, CC knew that this was a last-ditch effort. Most of what she would find in the darkest recesses of her closet would likely no longer fit her, the past few months of stress bouncing her weight around quite cruelly.
When the doorbell rang, CC cringed. She was still sporting her dressing gown and slippers and he was here? Mentally berating herself for not having thought it through as well as she should have, she promised herself that next time she would a lot an extra hour just to wardrobe selection.
Making her way to the door, she made sure her sash was pulled snuggly around her waist. The last thing she needed to do was give him the wrong impression.
Taking a deep breath, CC said a silent prayer that everything would work out and she opened the door.
Niles eyes almost bugged out of his head at the sight of her standing before him in her robe. "Had I known tonight's dress would be so informal, I would have worn something else."
CC smiled shyly, before waving her hand and welcoming him in. He looked dapper in dark dress pants and a navy knit sweater. The collar of a white dress shirt peaked out from under the navy. "I'm running late," CC said, though she was sure he had already deduced as much.
"Well, you look spectacular all the same," Niles said, reaching in front of him to extend a small bouquet of flowers.
"Oh," CC said, her voice catching, "lilies."
Niles nodded. "They reminded me of you," he admitted nervously. "The blue and white soft petals and the long eloquent stems…"
CC swallowed hard. "Would you mind putting these in water for me while I finish getting ready? There's a vase under the kitchen counter, next to the sink."
"All right. Take your time—our reservation isn't until 8, and it will only take a few minutes to get there."
CC inwardly laughed. If he had any clue as to how long she had already spent looking for something to wear, he'd never let her live it down.
When she made her way back to her closet, she quickly decided to at least try a couple of the long-shot dresses in her wardrobe.
One, in particular, had piqued her interest. It had been a birthday gift from DD and although it wasn't CC's usual style, she had to admit it was beautiful. The rich blue color would be incredibly complimentary to her eyes, while the cream embroidery across the bust would draw his attention to her more favorable assets.
Unzipping it, CC stepped out of her robe and hoped it was a generous size six, if not a mislabeled size 9.
Niles seated himself comfortably on the sofa, easily remembering waking there. It had been incredible to wake up with CC standing over him, offering a cup of coffee.
Nerves were, of course, getting the best of him. Here he was about to go out with the incomparable CC Babcock and he felt like a fifteen-year-old boy. Remarkable. Even his palms were sweaty, he realized.
When CC appeared a few minutes later, he marveled at her curves and the way the dress clung in all the right places. He wondered if his mouth was agape, and if the shock registered obviously on his face. "Wow," he managed, though the word was strangled.
CC's heart beat faster. The dress was much more form-fitting than she was accustomed to, and although it fit her, she wondered about the suitability of a woman her age wearing it. From the look of appreciation on Niles' face, however, it seemed like a good choice suddenly.
"Will this be okay for wherever you made reservations?"
Niles nodded weakly, his eyes fixed on the nape of her neck, her magnificent collarbone, and the creamy expanse of skin across her chest. "Magnificent."
CC smiled. She had managed to take his voice away from him, and that had been a first for her. It wasn't as if she had never worn something sexy with the intention of getting a man's attention, but this time in doing so she knew she had just seen what love looked like. "Let me grab my wrap, and I'll be ready to go."
She could have sworn she heard him mumble 'don't cover up on my account' but she didn't pay it any particular attention.
Finding her black shawl, CC took her small black evening bag off the back of the chair and smiled. "Ready."
Niles smiled, before standing and making his way to the door. Holding it open for her, he watched her hips move, and the way her shoulders were all smooth-lines and perfect skin. "After you," he said politely.
"Thank you – you know, when you're not mixing my drinks with gym socks, you're quite the gentleman."
An evil twinkle appeared in Niles' eyes. "I'm versatile, you know…"
Laughing, CC had to give him credit for being a wonderful mystery as well as a sweet man, and she wondered how she had let him hang on the line quite as long as she had.
The walk to the restaurant was relatively silent. Niles kept inching closer, intending to take her hand, but at the last second he would inch away. CC, for her part, had desperately wanted to take his hand in hers, to feel that connection with him, but she didn't want to overstep the boundaries.
A few minutes later, Niles stopped her and led her into a romantic little hole-in-the-wall Italian Bistro. "It's got great food," he explained, though what CC actually heard sounded more like 'we won't run into anyone we know in here.'
"It's quaint," was all she managed.
"I know it's not the Russian Tea Room, but it is my favorite place to get a good chicken alla vongole." He could tell that the restaurant disappointed her, but he hoped the evening would rebound. He smiled at the maitre d', who immediately leapt into action.
"Signore Niles, come sta?" The older man was quite happy to see him, as he feverishly shook Niles' hand.
"Bene, grazie. Dorsey, Signora Babcock," Niles introduced.
"Ah, una bella donna," Dorsey said appreciatively, taking her hand dramatically and kissing it.
Niles smiled. "Do we have my usual table?"
"Si, signore Niles, andiamo." Leading him to the back of the restaurant, they stopped at a romantic table in front of a fireplace.
"Would you like menus this evening?"
"Please. May we start with my usual wine?"
With a swift hand, Dorsey pulled out the chair for CC and seated her. "And signora, is there anything in particular I can bring to you?"
She was stunned at how attentive the service was, and how personally Niles seemed to know the gentleman. "A glass of water would be wonderful," she said kindly, smiling at the man.
"I'll return soon then, with menus and your water." And with a wink, he disappeared towards the front of the restaurant again.
The silence that suddenly befell the table caused CC to wonder if she had spoiled the evening with her lack of enthusiasm. She hadn't meant to sound less than thrilled by his choice in restaurant, but it really did feel like this date was an 'undercover operation'. "You come here a lot then?"
Niles laughed. "A lot? I come here every week, without fail. It's my little piece of sanity," he told her kindly.
She wanted to ask if he had ever brought Lois here, but she had already made the evening more uncomfortable than necessary, and the question could wait.
"I didn't come here because it was out of the way, though I confess, it's a benefit." Niles could tell what had been bothering her. "I'd like to have you to myself, for tonight at least. I've been sharing you for twenty years."
"I'm sorry, Niles. I don't mean to be so…pathetic. I guess it's just that your rule made me feel a little insecure," she admitted.
"Insecure?"
"Have you ever been on a date before that was prefaced with 'don't tell anyone'? I sure as hell haven't."
When she put it that way, he could understand what had upset her about his comment. "I've never been out with someone so completely out of my league, either, though."
Shaking her head, CC sighed. "Is that the problem? Is it because I'm me…and you're you? I don't want to change, Niles. And I don't want you to change."
It seemed that Dorsey had exceptionally bad timing, as he reappeared out of nowhere with a tray laden down with several items. Carefully, he removed the water glasses and set them beside the place settings, and then he uncorked the wine and poured a glass for Niles to sample.
"Wonderful as always," Niles said, encouraging him to pour the glasses for them both.
"The menus, signore. I'll be back soon to take your orders."
Niles watched as he made his way around the tables near by. "I'm not asking you to change, I hope you understand. I'm just saying that there are a lot of people who are impacted by you and I pursuing a relationship, and it is best not to allow them to get hurt along the way. I don't want to make this awkward for them," he explained, hoping she understood.
"Is this an incredibly bad idea? Where we thinking clearly when we decided to try this?" Her heart sank at the prospect that this could be it; this could all be over before it even began.
"I've not been able to think clearly since we first met," he confessed. "I've not been of my right mind in decades, and I don't expect that to change now. I would like it though, very much so, if we could start all over again?"
For a fleeting moment, she wondered if this was going to be the way it always was. She missed the teasing relationship they had enjoyed, and more than anything she missed the comfort of being near him. "Only if things can get back to normal," she said, hoping he'd understand that it wasn't a rule she was trying to impose as much as a request.
"Normal? Us?"
"Normal. I don't know if we can communicate very well without a peppering of insults," she said quietly. "It sounds sick, but it's who we are. If the conversation stays as friendly as we've been so far this evening, I fear we won't have much to say to one another."
"You'll have to forgive me. I've never been on a date with a man," he said comfortably, and the glimmer of light in her eyes told him that sometimes a little unconventional was better than nothing. "See, yet another thing we have in common."
CC laughed. "And he's back! Thank God." Making an elaborate gesture, as if to raise her hands in thanks, CC managed to fit in a silent 'thank you' to whatever angel was watching over her. "I was afraid all of the cleaning fluids you'd been sniffing had somehow affected your brain cells. It wasn't like you had many to sacrifice to the pledge Gods to start with."
His hand reached across the table to take hers in his, and he gently squeezed it. "You look absolutely stunning tonight. I can't get over it."
CC blushed at his words. "You're not the only one who cleans up well," she teased. "Now, I think you should order for us—you obviously know this place well enough to know what's good."
"Everything is," he assured her. "But if you insist, I think I know what will please you."
"Well, then, by all means, please me," she said seductively.
They had started off on rocky footing, but something told her that they would be rebounding well.
18
As far as first dates went, CC and Niles had been somewhat unconventional, and things hadn't gone as smoothly as one would hope, but it seemed to be a product of their relationship. Nothing for them was ever smooth sailing, and dating was proving to be no exception.
Still, when it came down to it, it wasn't their last date. At the end of the night, he had walked her back to the apartment and stood at her doorway, politely smiling at her, and telling her how good of an evening it had been. Like a true gentleman, he hadn't even tried to kiss her. It was, after all, their very first date, and instead he opted to kiss her hand softly.
Her heart had almost stopped when he looked up at her, his lips against her hand, and his big blue eyes penetrating her soul. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, then," he said quietly.
"Tomorrow morning, for sure."
When he left, she felt like something out of a gushy romance movie, her back to the door, and her heart thudding through her chest. She had wanted a proper kiss – she had wanted to feel his lips against hers, and his arms around her – but something about the tenderness of his kiss to her hand had made her heart leap.
When she finally went to bed, she wondered if she'd ever be able to sleep, for all the thoughts that were racing through her mind. She'd see him at work tomorrow, and somehow she'd have to pretend that she hadn't passed the most wonderful evening of her life in his presence.
Six dates later, they had begun to establish a comfortable pattern. Niles would pick her up, they would go out for dinner and sometimes a movie or a play, and he'd walk her home. Sometimes he'd come in and mix a drink for them, other times he left her at the door, but every date had been exceptional.
On this particular morning, Niles wandered up to her apartment at 9:30 and rang the doorbell.
Several minutes later, he had been surprised to see CC appear at the door in her robe, her hair mussed and makeup-less.
"What in the world are you doing here?" She grumbled, groggy from having just woken up.
"Mr. Sheffield decided to take the family on some great outdoor adventure for the day, and seeing as it's a lovely Sunday morning, I felt like we might be able to fit in a little bit of time together," he said hopefully. In retrospect, he thought that maybe he should have called her first. Showing up unannounced was rude, he knew, but he had wanted to surprise her. Never in a million years did he think she'd still be in bed at almost ten a.m.
Slowly waking up, she rationalized that it really was quite a sweet gesture, even if it was somewhat inconvenient that now she was standing before him looking like hell. "Come on in. I have to have coffee before I can understand you," she managed.
"You go grab a shower, and I'll get you some coffee," he promised.
CC raised an eyebrow.
"For when you get out of the shower! Good God woman, what kind of man do you think I am?"
CC laughed at his hurt expression. "Well, at six dates and not even one kiss, I'm starting to wonder about that myself."
"We're not all as easy as you are," he assured her, laughed. "Go. We've got somewhere to be by 10:30."
Shaking her head, she disappeared down the hall. He really was something. Something remarkable. "Try not to dig through my stuff while I'm in the shower," she called back to him.
"Oh…well, then what am I supposed to do to keep myself entertained?"
When Niles walked CC up the steps of a dilapidated building that narrowly looked inhabitable, she hoped that this would be another pleasant surprise like the restaurant from their first date. "Do you revel in frequenting buildings awaiting condemnation?"
"Cheaper food," he joked.
"Well, I suppose on your salary that might not be a bad selling point," she teased. Squeezing his hand to make sure he knew she was joking, CC looked up at the sign that read 'La Cocina Latina'.
"Trust me, it doesn't get much better than this!" Niles led her through the door and to a table near the back.
In a matter of mere seconds, a robust woman in her late forties approached the table. "Niles! ¿Cómo esta?"
"Bien, gracias. ¿Cómo son los niños?"
CC looked at him in stunned adoration. Everywhere he went he seemed to know someone, and more importantly, he seemed to know enough of the language to get him through a basic conversation in the host's mother tongue. When he had broken out into German on their second date, CC almost fainted. This man was full of surprises.
"Ah, Dios mio…" Shaking her head in a dramatic fashion, she fanned herself with her hands. Evidently, the kids were holy terrors? "¿Y quién es contigo?"
"Éste es mi amiga, CC Babcock."
With a quick smile, Juana gave CC the once over, and offered her hand kindly. "Hola."
CC nodded, and smiled, taken aback by the friendliness of the large woman who she would have otherwise thought to be quite mean.
Juana turned her attention back to Niles. "¿Usted tienen gusto del desayuno especial?"
"Dos, por favor."
The minute the woman left the table, Niles turned his attention back to CC. "I used to come here when I went to church down the street – it was an excellent place for brunch. I just never quite shook the habit, even after I stopped attending services."
"How many languages do you speak?" CC marveled at how sexy his accent was at the best of times, but when coupled with a grasp of a foreign language, he assumed an entirely different degree of sexy.
"I really only have sufficient command of English and French," he told her, "but through friends I've acquired bits and pieces of a few others."
CC shook her head, not believing that he truly only spoke a spattering of the other languages. He struck her as far too confident to not be more fluent, but she wouldn't argue with him. "Well, certainly the next time I go on a trip somewhere, I'll take you for translation."
"I'd hope you'd take me for other reasons, but I'll take what I can get," he teased.
"Ha ha…" Blushing, CC hoped he didn't notice how he always managed to make her feel a little drunk even though she almost never drank anymore.
"I hope you like breakfast quesadillas," he said quickly, trying to change topics to something more comfortable. "They make a great one here – the best I've found this side of Santiago – and I thought you might like to try some authentic Chilean cuisine."
"I've never tried one," she admitted, "but I trust you – well, for some things I do. Judging by the shape you're in, you know your food extremely well."
It was his turn to laugh. This had become their system.
Everything was moving so smoothly, in fact, that when a young blonde woman approached their table, they hadn't even glanced up to see who it was.
"Niles!"
His head snapped up, and he saw her there – a ghost from his past, as it were. "Lois. Hi!" He tried not to sound too stunned, but she was the last person he had ever thought that he'd run into.
"Miss Babcock, what a surprise," Lois said kindly, though through gritted teeth.
"Lois…how…wonderful," she managed, the state of shock not wearing off quite yet.
What wretched luck, Niles thought, that his ex-fiancée had to walk through the door just when things with him and CC began to look like they'd work out. "How've you been?"
"Well – the cat is doing great too; she's tripled in size since you last saw her," Lois informed him. "And she's taken to attacking slippers. I've already lost three pairs to her."
Niles laughed. "Such a troublemaker. You may just have to take her to obedience school." Both he and Lois laughed, though CC didn't. Obviously this was an inside joke? At that moment she wasn't feeling very kind.
"So, what have you been up to? Have you been writing anything lately?"
Niles shook his head, and shrugged his shoulders. "I've been struggling with a very difficult script for a couple of weeks now to no avail, but maybe I'll take another swing at it this evening."
CC debated what she should do. A part of her was telling her to get up and run as fast and far away as possible, but then there was the fight that was bubbling inside of her. She was torn between wanting to claw out Lois' eyes for ruining a perfectly good spontaneous breakfast with Niles, and wanting to kill him for bringing her some place he had obviously brought Lois.
"Don't give up," Lois encouraged. "You've got a great talent – you just get too easily distracted." Giving CC the once over, she realized that this was the woman who had stolen Niles' heart all those years ago, and for a moment a biting bitterness came over her. How could CC Babcock ever be expected to give him the kind of love he deserved?
"Well, some distractions are worth it," he said sweetly, looking over at CC. She was seething, and he could tell that this was going to lead to a fight.
"If you'll both excuse me for a minute," CC said, standing and walking towards the bathroom. She couldn't watch the exchange between Lois and Niles anymore.
When CC disappeared behind the door, Lois shook her head. "I'm sorry – I should have realized and turned around. I just…I haven't seen you for ages. I miss you."
Niles turned his attention from the bathroom door and back to Lois. "I'm sorry. There's just been so much going on that time has gotten away from me," he admitted.
Lois knew exactly what he meant. Somehow, between breaking up with her and trying to move on with his life, he ended up in CC's arms…Then again, she couldn't help but dwell on the fact that it was CC that had taken him away from her. All along, it had been the grumpy socialite that Niles had wanted, and not her.
Losing a man to the likes of CC Babcock angered her more than anything, Lois realized, because from what she had seen, that woman didn't have an ounce of human compassion in her. "I'm going to go place my order. I think I'll take it to the park with me," she said quietly. "Call me sometime."
Disappearing to the cash, she quietly told her order to Juana and vanished from sight.
"Damn it," Niles mumbled. "Damn it, damn it, damn it…"
CC looked into the mirror and wondered why she had to feel so horrible. It was his ex-fiancée, and they weren't doing anything wrong. Except, the anger she was feeling was projected towards Niles for ever having had an ex-fiancée more than anything else. As irrational as it seemed, she wished that she had him all to herself.
"He's a really good guy, you know." Lois' voice shocked CC. Apparently nowhere was safe, not even in the women's room of a run-down Latino diner.
"I don't need you to tell me that," CC replied, angry to be stuck in such a small place with someone she hated as much as she hated Lois.
"Well, considering it took you 20 years to catch on, I thought maybe I needed to remind you." She knew it was a low blow, but suddenly any sadness she had felt about losing Niles was being completely laid on CC's shoulders.
"Excuse me, but I don't think my relationship with Niles is any of your business." Stiffening, she hoped that she could refrain from pulling out all of the Barbie doll's hair.
"It is – he left me for you, which makes me wonder about his state of mind at the time, but that's an aside…I just think that you should know, should you ever hurt him or break up with him, I'll be around and more than happy to console him."
"I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you, though if you did it could have a pleasant outcome for all of us," CC snapped back. The nerve of the woman, telling her that when, or rather if things fell apart that she'd be there to pick up the pieces.
"Save it. I really don't want to hear it. I just wanted to tell you that he's a real catch, and even though you seem to have a difficult time grasping that, the rest of the world doesn't." Looking over her shoulder at the older blonde, Lois felt the need to get one more jab in. "Do you even think you can make Niles happy? I mean, look at you…if the competition were out there staring down my man, do you think I would have turned tail and run? You couldn't even stay to defend what's 'yours'?" Snickering, Lois left. It was unlike her to be catty, but that Babcock woman had always gotten to her, and now she seemed to be able to justify it as anger from losing Niles.
Taking a deep breath, CC wondered if Lois didn't have a point. Why didn't she stay there when Niles was talking to Lois? Why didn't she pull herself together enough to make sure he was well aware of her feelings?
"You screwed up again, CC. You're getting too good at that." Mentally kicking herself for being so clueless, she hoped that she could recover what ground she just lost, and maybe make him see that she may not be Lois, but she was definitely what he needed.
19
Breakfast had been almost completely silent, save for the mandatory comments one needs to make over the course of a meal.
Niles had attempted to ask her what had happened when Lois cornered her in the bathroom – it took him all of a minute and a bit to put two and two together when both women were mysteriously missing, and even less time when he heard the distinctive yell that CC made when she was frustrated. CC would have none of it though, instead sitting herself down in her seat and spearing a piece of potato with her fork.
"If it's too cold, we could order again; it came just after you excused yourself," Niles said, trying to gauge her mood.
"It's fine," CC said, though her words were more conciliatory than he would have liked. The fire he had seen in her eyes before Lois' interruption was gone.
"Can I get you something else? If you don't like it…"
Before he could finish what he was saying, she interrupted him. "It's fine. I've just lost my appetite."
Taking a few bites, he watched as she pushed a few pieces of fruit around, periodically spearing one with her fork, and then smushing it in one hard action.
Ten minutes more and he wondered if this was the end of the relationship they had just began. Ridiculous, he thought. One ex-girlfriend…well, one ex-fiancée, and suddenly things that had previously been perfectly on track were decimated.
"Do you want to leave," he asked tenderly.
"If you want to," she said, not even looking up.
Niles nodded, before throwing a couple of bills on the table. "Then let's walk – we're not going to spend the entire meal in silence. You're going to tell me what's got you so angry." Calling back some presumably friendly words to Juana, he led her to the door and down the street to a tiny park.
In the middle of all the tall buildings, they seemed incredibly small, he thought. Back home, when he was in England, he had only seen buildings like these in London, but since he had come to America, it seemed almost every major city was an expanse of concrete towers. Today, he felt especially small, and the buildings only made him feel worse.
"Sit," he said quietly, as he took a seat on the bench, and took her hand in his. He was afraid that if he let go, she might take off, and he didn't know if he could handle rejection from her one more time.
"I'm not a dog, you know," she said but she sat beside him anyway.
"Oh, don't I know it. You're much too disobedient." Nudging her with his shoulder, he hoped to get a laugh out of her, but nothing. "I'm sorry about Lois showing up at breakfast this morning." It was a start, he hoped. It was at least a few words to hopefully bring them back on track.
"You didn't invite her," CC said, before quickly adding "did you?"
Niles laughed. "I most certainly did not. I didn't intend to spend my morning trying to convince of that fact, either."
"I believe you," she admitted.
"So, then why are you still mad at me?" Using his index finger to tilt her face towards his, he hoped that she wouldn't pull away from him. When she let him touch her, he had at least a moment's worth of hope that things weren't so seriously deteriorated that they wouldn't rebound.
"Believe it or not, I'm mad at me," CC said. "I'm really mad at me." Squeezing his hand in hers, she sighed. It was now or never, and she couldn't face the possibility of 'never'.
"When you first started dating Lois, I figured it was a phase and that like everything else, she'd come and she'd go…"
Niles laughed. "What kind of man do you take me for?"
"That's not quite what I meant, but yeah, that too. I figured it was all for the moment. When she proposed to you, I realized that it was maybe going to be a little more long term, and that worried me. I just didn't understand why. After all, you and I have spent our entire lives fighting each other. Well, what feels like our entire lives, at least, and even when we weren't fighting we weren't friends necessarily. I just couldn't figure out why I was so upset."
"The thought never crossed your mind that you might have feelings for me?"
CC shrunk into herself. "I had considered the possibility, but I never allowed myself to give it credence."
"Ah, well, that's enough to make a man feel special," Niles said, suddenly wondering if this was such a good conversation to be having. As much as he wanted to know more about her feelings for him, deniability had never been a very romantic concept to him.
"It's not that I didn't like you. It was more like…I didn't know how to deal with the emotions you made me feel," CC explained.
"Like disgust and anger, and pity?" The smile on his face kept the mood light, even though there was a twinge of honesty to his words.
"Like love – do you know how hard it is to love everything that you know you're not supposed to love?"
Niles cringed. "If that's an impassioned profession of love, then we need to work on your communication skills."
"Give me a break, will ya Tidy Bowl?" CC smiled, taking his hand and leading him to the sofa. "I never said I was good at this."
Niles nodded, understanding what she was trying to say, even if she wasn't saying it very well.
"You'd walk into the room and throw some insult at me like it was as natural as saying hello. For us, it is. What we feel for one another is never going to be that gushy love that Nanny Fine and Maxwell have been dancing around; we're not that kind of couple."
"Good – I don't do gushy," Niles said, making a sour face.
CC laughed. "That…that's the other thing. You can always make me laugh."
At first looking wounded, Niles recovered quickly. "If you think you're in stitches now, wait 'til you see me naked."
"Mmm…I don't want to wait," CC purred, leaning closer, resting her chin on his shoulder.
"You always made me feel something more than the loathing I tried to pass off as my only emotion for you," he said against her hair. "You always managed to make me want to yell at you and kiss you all at the same time."
"I think that's called being infuriating," CC provided.
"I think it's called being in love. It's just our version of the concept," he said quietly. "We're never going to be the people who do Sunday morning walks while we talk about the week ahead."
"I don't care about the week ahead, as long as you don't forget to tell me where I fit in the plan," CC said, almost making it more of a question than a statement.
"So we're going to try this then? We're going to stop letting silly little petty things like class distinctions, ex-fiancées and jealousy get in our way?"
"I could be up for it. But I do feel the need to interrogate you about every minute you spent with Lois," she confessed.
"Every minute?" With raised eyebrows, he looked at her for a moment. "Some minutes might be best left out."
Making a gagging motion, CC nodded. "Some minutes we'll pretend don't exist. But I want the summary of the entire whirlwind romance, including where you guys went on dates; I don't want to run into her again. At least, not any time soon."
"Fine, but I expect you to explain the whole 'gaga for Mr. Sheffield' thing you've had going on for the past few years."
CC laughed. "Jealous?"
"No more so than you are," he assured her.
"Then we're really in trouble."
Laughing, he couldn't help but move closer to her. "But at least we're in trouble together?"
CC nodded before closing the space between them and pressing her lips against his. The kiss, which started out tentative and nervously, began to grow into something more and before they knew it they were feverishly holding one another.
"As much as I like the idea of making out on the park bench, one of New York's finest will come along at any moment, and we'll likely be arrested."
"Not so bad. You might meet a nice man in prison," CC said quietly, a wicked grin spread across her face.
"So you won't share me with Lois, but you'll share me with a man?"
His comment earned him a jab in the arm. "I won't share you with anyone. But it's nice to tease."
Niles snickered at the expression on her face. "Somehow I managed to figure you out, and I never even got a roadmap…"
"I have some chocolate sauce at home," CC said smoothly. "Maybe if you're really good, we'll draw one out for you later on?"
Niles' eyes went wide. "Oh, I promise you, I can be very, very good when I need to be."
the end