Disclaimer: I don't own digimon

Musashibf – a guy with a daisy tattoo. That's so hot! I got a heart on my lower back (under the agreement it would be covered by my pants...and it isn't! hehe!)

Chapter Twenty-Two: At the Hospital
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I was the last one to arrive at the hospital. T.K. and I were at the movies, and I had my cell phone turned off. It was roughly a half hour after mom called before we got out and I checked my voicemail.

I run to the elevators and hastily press the button while T.K. walks behind me slowly, casually, as if my brother hasn't just woken up from his coma. I repeatedly push the button, not accepting that the elevator takes more than a split-second to appear. I consider taking the stairs.

T.K. gets there just as the elevator doors open and I rush in. His casual pace never falters as he enters the elevator and leans up against the wall. I push the button for the third floor, where Tai has been moved to. I tap my fingers against the wall as the elevator starts its agonizingly slow rise to our destination. T.K. just sits there, calm and collected. It's driving me crazy.

We get off the elevator, after what seems like hours, and make our way to Tai's room. My speed walking turns into a light jog as I try to get to my brother as fast as I can. T.K. continues his leisurely stroll down the hallway.

Frustrated, I turn around and glare at him as he catches up.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I scream.

"What are you talking about?" he asks, genuinely confused. I know that I'm overreacting, but I don't really care. My brother is awake, and I don't want to miss a single second of being with him. He's been gone too long already. Maybe T.K. just doesn't understand that. How insensitive can he be?

"You're acting like you don't even care that Tai's awake!"

"Just because I'm not running down the halls like a madwoman doesn't mean I don't care. You realize you're acting absolutely nuts right now, right? I mean, do you have any idea how many stares you've gotten since we got here?"

I don't, but that doesn't change anything. My brother was awake, and I'm happy. I don't give a shit if other people want to stare and think that I'm insane. Tai is all I care about right now. Besides, I think I'm allowed to act a little crazy after everything I've been through. If he isn't a little crazy, then something's wrong.

"I'm so not talking to you for the rest of the day," I finalize. He rolls his eyes at me. "And just for that, you're not coming over tonight."

"Oh no," he replies sarcastically, but I can tell he's upset. I hope so, at least. Sighing, I spin on my heel and continue on my way to Tai's room.

I walk into his room and see a bunch of familiar faces. Everyone (minus T.K.) is there. But something isn't right...someone is missing.

Something's wrong.

I search the room for my mother, and find her standing beside Sora and Mrs. Takenouchi. Why don't they look happy? Why is nobody talking and why is Tai lying down? Wouldn't he want to sit up and talk to everyone? Why is my mom crying?

Why are Tai's eyes shut?

Oh.

My legs feel weak, like I might collapse. Just then, I feel a pair of strong arms encircling me from behind, and I sink back into them. I can feel the tears slide down my cheeks, and I struggle to speak.

"I'm still not talking to you," I say in barely whisper.

"I didn't say a word," he whispers back.

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There I was, by Tai's bedside reading a magazine, when he awoke. I knew he would, I knew it was only a matter of time. When your son is in a coma, it's hard to have faith that he'll pull through. These past nineteen days have been hell. I wasn't sure if I would ever see my son's beautiful brown eyes ever again.

I scream for the doctor, Dr. Sung, to come. He runs in, and I can tell by his expression that he wasn't really expecting Tai to ever wake up. The doctor may have lost faith, but I hadn't. I knew he would be okay. He wouldn't die. He wouldn't do that us.

I was right, and the qualified, certified doctors were wrong.

He is awake, but something is a little off. Something is wrong.

My son's eyes are open, yes, but that's about it. He isn't moving or speaking. I wonder how long his eyes were open before it caught my attention. I look on as the doctor shines a light in his eyes.

"Taichi? Taichi? Can you hear me? Follow the light, son." Tai's eyes don't move. He remains staring into the light like a deer in headlights. "Are you in there?"

I have the overwhelming feeling that he isn't. Call it mother's intuition, I suppose. I don't know where my son is, or what's happening to him, but I do not think he's in that bed right now. I shiver, despite the July heat outside.

I can't explain it, don't want to explain it. All I can say (partially because I don't fully understand it, partially because I don't want to admit something may be wrong with my son) is that I feel strange. I can sense Taichi, but it feels like he's somewhere other than the body before me, lying in that bed. I wonder briefly if I can feel his soul. Has his soul separated from his body?

Does that mean that...?

I don't even want to think about it. Then, just as quickly as the feeling came, it's gone. I shiver again. Glancing back at Tai, I notice that his fingertips are wiggling ever so slightly. I point it out to the doctor, who refuses to tell me anything. He suggests I call my husband, probably just to get me out of the room while he examines my son.

I call my husband at work, and he tells me that he'll be right there. I call home, but Kari doesn't answer. Maybe she's out with T.K. I call her cell, but it's off. I leave a message, telling her that Tai's awake and to get down here right away.

Rummaging through my purse for my phone book, I mentally make a list of all the numbers to find and people to inform. I start with Sora, and work my way down Tai's list of close friends.

"Yuuko?" I turn around at the mention of my name to find my husband coming toward me.

"Susumu! I just called everybody; they're all on their way. He's awake...I think. The doctor, he didn't tell me anything. Go in there and talk to him, maybe he'll be honest with you. His eyes were open but he wasn't moving. His fingertips..." I rambled on and on.

Susumu takes my hand and leads me into Tai's room. We watch the examination for a moment before Sora barges in.

"What's going on? My mother said that Tai was awake?" I nod, and explain the situation to her. Her hopeful expression falls as she glances over at my son.

"Where is Toshiko?" I ask her.

"Mom's parking the car. She should be here any second now," Sora tells me. Of all the conversations I've had with Sora, I never expected this to be one of them. I never expected the two of us to be so happy and destroyed at the same time...all because my son's eyes are open and he can move his fingertips.

Sora's mother, Toshiko, arrives and the four of us patiently wait for the doctor to finish. How long does an examination take? Or is he done, and just killing time, trying to figure out a way to let us down easy?

Is he awake, or isn't he?

Izzy is the next to arrive, then Joe, followed closely by Mimi and Matt. There is still no sign of T.K. or my daughter. I hope they get here soon.

Finally, after what seems like several hours but probably hasn't even been a half, the doctor turns around. Sora squeezes my hand tightly as he shakes his head.

"I'm sorry," he says, "but he isn't conscious."

"But he did wake up, didn't he?" I persist. "He woke up! I know he did!"

"Well, yes, as far as I can tell. This has been known to happen before, though I've never personally experienced it in my career until today." Well, congratulations for your recent experience, but back to my son? "He was conscious—very briefly; mind you—but conscious nonetheless. But now, he seems to have slipped back into the coma," Doctor Sung educates us.

"But...he could still wake up, right? I mean, he could still make a full recovery?" Sora asks. I can sense the nervousness in her voice. All I want to do was hug her and tell her that everything would be all right, but I can't. Nothing can make this all right, except for Taichi waking up.

"Well, yes, it is still possible. However, I feel I should tell you that the longer he stays comatose, the less likely that is," the doctor explains.

Tai has always been strong. Ever since he was little, he was brave and curious. He would face his fears head on. He always got back up when he was knocked down.

It was so strange seeing him like this, so out of his element. He wasn't getting back up; he wasn't bouncing back after all. My baby boy was still in his coma, and if he didn't wake up soon, well...

"Meaning what exactly, Doc?"

"Honestly? It doesn't look good."

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Why is this happening?

I mean, modern medicine can do so many amazing things nowadays. Science is as advanced as it's ever been. Hell, scientists even think they will soon be able to cure cancer!

Perhaps I'll call my father. Sure, he doesn't specialize in Tai's condition, but he's brilliant, nonetheless. Maybe he'll be able to offer some insight into his condition and possible treatments. Or, maybe Tai's parents could fly a specialist in to treat him.

Anything is better than what's happening right now.

If doctors and scientists, who are supposed to save lives, can't save Tai's...then what? Sure, they'll just think of it as a patient lost and move on to their next one, but what will the rest of us do? Tai may not be rich or powerful, he might not be famous or particularly important to the world as a whole, but he is important to us. Just looking around this room at all the friends as family shows me how badly we all need him here with us.

He has to pull through. If he doesn't, I don't see how we'll be able to recover. Everyone will be destroyed, even more than we are now.

God, please give Tai the strength to fight. Please give these doctors the answers, so they can help him and bring him back to us.

What's wrong with these doctors, anyway? Don't they care enough? Isn't Tai a top priority around here? He should be. They should be working day and night to get him out of his coma.

Of course I know that they can't really do anything to speed the process along. I'm fully aware that this is all resting on Tai now, but that doesn't mean I have to accept it. I can be as angry as I want and I can direct that anger at whoever I want to. There's really no point being mad and hating the doctors, but I refuse to hate Tai.

Doctors, what a joke.

I can't believe I ever wanted to be one. All they do is give you false hope, when they say things like "we're trying" or "we'll do all we can". When you're in a situation like this, you're actually stupid enough to believe that the doctor can save someone's life. You have to believe it, because you will go crazy if you don't.

We have to re-take our exams next week. I got a letter in the mail yesterday, informing me that they will be held at the public school across town. I considered blowing it off and telling my father that I don't need to complete it because I refuse to be a doctor anyway.

But that would just crush him, and he doesn't need that. When the time is right, he'll know.

Ever since I was little, my father had high expectations for me. He would tell me that when I grew up, I would be a doctor and carry on the family tradition, just like my brother did. I love my father, I really do, but sometimes he just doesn't understand. It's like he doesn't care if I'm happy, because he's too concerned with me becoming a surgeon and making him proud.

The truth is...I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll invest a ton of time into becoming a doctor, and that my father will be proud of me. I'm scared that once I actually become a physician, and I get out on that operating table because there's a life that needs to be saved, I'll freeze up. I used to imagine that this other sense would just kick in, and I'd know what to do. But what if it doesn't? I can't handle that type of pressure. How anyone can is beyond me.

It's probably not the best time to bring this up, but I'm slightly squeamish when it comes to blood, too.

Just thought I'd throw that in there.

What if I've dedicated practically my whole life to this one goal, only to find out that it's unattainable? What if this is only my father's dream and I really have no interest in it at all? Is it possible that I wouldn't have figured that out by now?

I don't want to keep thinking about it. I think I might be sick if I do.

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God, why are you doing this to us?

Haven't we suffered enough? Isn't the fact that we've lost so many friends and classmates enough to satisfy your need to inflict pain upon us?

How can you be so evil?

How can you do this to poor Mrs. Kamiya? Look at her, look at how devastated she is. And Sora...she's so fragile, so weak. I truly believe that if Tai goes, she'll go right along with him. Maybe not her body, but her spirit will die. All of our spirits will die.

When will it stop? Are you just going to take Tai, or will the rest of us follow as well? How many of the people that I love are you going to hurt?

I was never very religious before this whole experience, but one thing is for sure: if you do exist, I will never forgive you for doing this to us. I will never forgive you for crushing my friends.

We're all turning against each other. That night at my house was only the beginning. Mimi and Sora haven't talked since then, and Sora didn't even show up to the memorial service today. How far are you going to let this go? Are you going to make them all come to their senses, or will we all be too far into this mess by then?

I've tried to believe that you aren't real. I've tried to convince myself that you were just made up, that the whole Bible was just written by a bunch of guys, way back when, as a joke. I've tried, but I can't bring myself to believe it.

Part of me wishes that you aren't real, because it scares the shit out of me to think that someone out there controls everything that happens in all of our lives. But then again, part of me needs you to be real. If you don't exist, that means that we've been put on this earth to fend for ourselves and nobody is looking out for us.

That's a pretty scary thought, if you really think about it.

But then I remind myself that you aren't too good at looking out for us, anyway. I mean, take a look around. How the hell have you helped and cared for any of us in the passing weeks?

I'm still not completely sold on your existence, just so you know. Sure, it seems like a nice idea and all, but how can I be sure? I know, I know, I'm supposed to "have faith". But that's asking an awful lot from me, especially after what you've done. Truthfully, you don't deserve my faith. But still, I'm compelled, by something inside me, to repent. I definitely have the fear of God in me, that's for sure.

So I'm just going to lay it all out on the table, okay?

Please, please don't take my friends.

I don't know if you feel much like listening to me, especially after all the horrible things I've thought about you in the past. But I need you now. If you are there, I need you to make things better. I don't care what you do. Just please, make this pain stop. Make everything be okay, make things go back to the way they were. Make us go back to the way we were.

I can't believe I'm actually turning to you. Don't ask me what has possessed me to do it, but I really hope you can help me.

Cindy really believes in you, do you know that? Every time something bad happens, she turns to you for support.

She told me that it makes her feel better. She said that more often than not, you actually help her. When I asked her about the times that you didn't help, she simply said that it wasn't God's will.

Is it your will to help me, help us, now? Will you oblige to our prayers and requests, or will you just look the other way?

We've only known each other for a short time, we've only been happy for a short time. Don't you understand that? Can't you see that this will literally tear us apart?

If Tai dies, I don't know how we'll be able to look at each other again. Every time I see one of them, it will just remind me of a time that I would much rather forget.

If you take our best friend, everything will just turn to shit.

I hope, if you're really up there, that you can hear me. I hope you can spare my friends' lives.

Really, if you take one of us, you'll take us all.

Are you prepared to do that?

I thought you loved all of your children, and wanted what's best for them. How can you say that, and yet do something that's absolutely horrible and completely goes against your teachings?

I'm so confused right now that I just don't know what to believe anymore.

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Yes, it's true: Tai is not really awake. It killed me (because I felt bad, not that I was laughing) to read your reviews, when you all talked about how glad you were that he was finally up. Please don't hate me.

Review, even if you want to tell me how silly and mean I am.

Also...I need some advice! I'm writing a digimon one-shot right now, and it's pretty long. I have a lot more material than I originally thought, and it's about 40 pages. Should I split it up and make it a few chapters, or just keep it a one-shot? Let me know!