"It Doesn't Hurt To Love"
Chapter 17- Confessions
author's note- after the last chapter, you may be quite surprised with the way this one starts. very short chapter for my standards. It was going to be included in the same chapter as the dinner with Cameron's sister but then it would be too cluttered.
"No" Cameron said to her friend with a stiff upper lip
"No?"
"I don't want it"
"You understand how big of an opportunity this is?"
"Yes I do. I don't want it"
"May I ask why?"
"I spent all night, tossing and turning. It doesn't seem right."
"I think you are mistaken Allison."
"You should find a doctor who is suitable working in the intensive care department. Last month I had a break down over losing one patient. God knows what would happen if I worked in ICU"
"You will grow as a doctor"
"I agree with that but I have a feeling it will be very painful process"
"What did House say to you?"
"He said he didn't want me to take the job"
"You listened to him?"
"At first no. Then I realized he had a point..." She looked at her friend timidly "Ialso amfeeling slightly guilty"
"Why do you have guilt?"
"I have a feeling this job was given to me because Greg and I am dating. I am sure you and 'the board' felt that our personal life is reflecting into our jobs. I may assure you, it is not. "
"Why would anyone in there right mind promote someone on the sole purposethat they are dating their boss?"
"I don't know" Cameron got up and made her way to the doorway "I am sorry for wasting your time, Lisa. Thank you though"
Dr.Cuddy shook her head in agreement but at the same time disappointment.
Cameron walked in the room and all eyes were on her. She sat down with a blank expression on her face. No words were exchanged. You didn't have to be a Diagnostician or a Neurologist or have a specialty in Intensive Care to tell something was bothering her.
"For someone who just been appointed as the new Head Immunologist - well, the new trainee, you don't see so happy" House said breaking the silence.
"I declined"
House didn't know how to respond. He wanted to jump for joy but at the same time he wanted to weep in sorrow. He knew how much he wanted it.
"Cameron, I am so-" Chase said
"-sorry. We know. If you don't mind Dr.Cameron and I need to have a little talk" He glanced at Foreman and Chase who just sat in there chairs "thats your cue to leave ladies. Go check on Francesca. Don't talk to her too much though, that girl asks a lot of questions. I had to explain to her the whole menstruation cycle to her yesterday"
On that note, Foreman and Chase briskfully walked out of the room. Shutting the door tightly behind them.House just glanced at his girlfriend. His sensitive blue eyes were filled with confusion.
"After our talk last night, you seemed so steadfast on taking that job. Why did you turn it down? I am honestly quite happy" he shook his head"No I am not, you deserved that promotion. You should of taken it. Is it because of me? I know I am great and all but there is no need to refuse a job over me. We will still be in the same building."
"Are you really that self centered?" she sighed "I realized a numerous number of factors last night. For example I am not mentally competent to take on a job working in the intensive care unit. I am way too emotional if you haven't noticed. Also I can't help but have suspension that I was nominated for this job for the wrong reasons. Cuddy first told me about it a couple days after she found out we were dating. Everyone thinks that our relationship is getting in the way of our jobs!"
"Does everyone really?" He took a sip of his coffee "More importantly, do you think the fact that we are dating is obstructing our work performance?"
"I don't. We are adults and its not like we are making out in supply closets"
"Now thats an idea!"
"As my boss, have you seen any slippage in my performance?"
"Nothing that has been caused by our relationship. The only way I can see it effecting our performance was if we.." He paused "broke up"
"What you are saying is, correct me if I am wrong, everyone is expecting us to fail"
"That is how I see it. When we first started out there was even a bet on how long we would last"
Rage struck through Cameron's body like a bolt of lightening. Fast and uncontrolable"Lisa was only using me wasn't she? To get the details. This is like high school all over again"
"I wouldn't be mad at her if I were you. Word is she was the only one who didn't partake in the bet"
"She still offered me the job because I am dating you. So we wouldn't haveany chance on ruining the precious reputation of the hospital!"
"I am not standing up for her or anything, but she wouldn't offer the job to you if you weren't qualified. I wouldn't destroy your little 'friendship' over this. I felt the same way as you do right now when I heard about Wilson and his bet. He was disloyal, dishonest, and an all around bastard. Don't get over dramatic"
"I still can't believe no one has faith is us"
"Fuck what they think. This hospital is a screwed up place. What matters is that we have faith"
"Do you have faith? Do you think we can last long term? I know this is a delicate question to ask..."
House tossed his coffee cup in the trash. Was she serious? Who asks a question like that? "I can't predict the future. But if you feel the same way as I do, thenI think we are fine"
"And how do you feel?"
"Would you like me to spill out my uttermost love for you right now? Because I was kind of was saving that for another time"
She laughed "Come on, I think we have patients to treat"
"I think you made the right choice Allison"
"Thank you" She collected her files and walked towards the door "By the way, I do feel the same way"