Disclaimer: I don't own digimon
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Tying Up the Loose Ends
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The exams went well. No, it did not result in deaths or comas or anything like that.
I think it was kind of good for us. It helped us focus on our studies, and get our minds off of everything else that has been going on. But that was back in July. Now, we're into August, and things are just as bad as ever. Tai's hanging by a thread; none of us have talked to Sora.
I really thought all our problems would find a way to work out in the end. They always have, in the past. But apparently, God has other plans for us.
That used to scare me, but it doesn't anymore, not really. God and I have reached a kind of understanding. I let him do his stuff and, well, I'm not really sure what else there is after that. All I know is that I go to church every Sunday now, and Cindy says I've "been saved."
Maybe I have been saved. I don't know what happened, but somewhere between my conversation with Cindy and falling asleep that night, it hit me. I can't really call to mind how it felt. It was...amazing, like nothing I've ever experienced before. I felt validated, worthy, but it was so much more than that. Hopeful, like everything would turn out okay and I just needed to have faith. No word in the English language can do the emotion justice, so I refuse to try and explain it. I think that was my religious breakthrough, the one that Reverend Toby told me about. He said I would just know, and I did. That's good enough for me.
And now that I'm back to normal, I need to make everyone else come to their senses.
Somehow, someway, things need to be alright.
They just have to be.
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Tomorrow is Saturday. It's not just any ordinary Saturday, either. It's the sixth of August, the day we're supposed to take the trip Tai planned for us.
I keep praying that maybe he'll wake up in the next few minutes, and then I can call everyone, tell them to hurry up and pack, because we have a bus to catch and a hotel to get to. And then we'll go there, and have so much fun. Nobody will hold any grudges toward anyone else, and we can all just relax and laugh and be together. We can all finally be happy.
But Tai needs to wake up before any of that can happen. The clock is ticking, and we're running out of time. He only has three hours left before it's technically tomorrow, before I can call everyone and we can make plans to leave.
Part of me keeps reminding myself that he's in a coma and, even if he did wake up in time, he'd need to stay in the hospital for observations. Okay, so maybe that can still happen. Then, we'll just catch the bus and start our vacation a little later than we originally hoped. I can settle for two weeks of fun in the sun, instead of three, if it will put the doctors at ease.
Now, Tai only has two and a half hours. It's already half past nine at night.
I've picked up the phone to dial Mimi's number quite a few times these past few weeks, knowing that it's what I should do, but I can never actually bring myself to call her. Why is that? Why has it suddenly become so hard for me to talk to my oldest friend?
Okay, maybe I can wait for tomorrow to call her. Who knows, maybe I'll get to call with the news that Tai has woken up? It puts a smile on my face to think that, but a sense of doubt and dread in my heart, knowing that it probably won't happen the way I imagine it.
I hear a knock on the door. I grab my purse, pull a wad of bills out of my wallet, and answer it. I come face to face with an attractive delivery boy. He flashes me a smile, displaying his gorgeous set of teeth (and amazing dimples), before handing me the pizza. I count out twenty-five dollars and hand it to him, giving him an appreciative smile before closing the door.
I don't know why it took me so long to order dinner tonight. Maybe it's because Mom isn't home, so I didn't really think much of it until my stomach was rumbling so loudly I could hardly hear the TV.
Sitting the hot pizza on the counter, I pull out my wallet and put the rest of my money back in its place. Upon doing so, something catches my eye.
I forgot I had it in here...
I slide my finger into the small flap and pull out a picture that has been in my wallet for nearly five years. It's a small, wrinkled photo of Mimi and me, grinning like mad, which was taken in the photo booth at the mall. Mimi was fifteen; I was still fourteen for a few months. I turn it over and read the back. I don't need to; I know what it says off by heart, like the words have been etched into my very soul. But still, my eyes glide over the words as I read a note that is no doubt written in Mimi's neat, abnormally tiny hand-writing.
Sor,
You think you can move away and leave me, but you got more than you bargained for, the day you made Mimi Tachikawa your best friend.
That was basically her attitude on moving day, though she'd deny it until she was blue in the face. She refused to believe that I was really going to leave her. She actually propositioned my mother, trying to make her crack down and forbid me to leave Odaiba.
Ha-ha, kidding. I'm gonna miss you though!
I was going to miss her, too. I spent most of my time that I was away from this place, missing her. Does she miss me now? I'm pretty sure I'm missing her.
I know we'll call each other everyday, but it still isn't the same...
We did call each other everyday...for about the first few months. Sometime after my fifteenth birthday, which wasn't too long after I departed from my hometown, the phone calls stopped. Maybe I stopped them, maybe she did, or maybe it was a collective, unspoken, mutual decision. Either way, we've never brought it up.
I can't imagine not seeing you at school or having another marathon sleepover.
I think about putting this photo to the side, possibly even in the garbage, but I don't have the heart to. I feel like if I do that, I'll be letting down the child versions of us. I'll be condemning them to a broken relationship, caused by fights over things that their minds can't even comprehend. We were forced to be separated back then, wishing that we weren't, and now that we're back together, we aren't even speaking. If I had one wish, it would be to go back to the day this picture was taken, and slap myself upside the head, to hopefully knock some sense into me.
No worries, you'll be back.
I carefully slide the picture back into its place, shut my wallet, and return it to my purse. I wonder if Mimi still has her picture, the one with my own cute little message and pledge of eternal best friendship on the back. I don't have the faintest idea what I wrote, but I'm sure it wasn't anything sappy like what she put; she was always the weepy one, I was the funny one who could kill any moment with a bit of sarcasm.
I know you can't stay away from me for too long.
When I think about how she most likely threw it out or, knowing Mimi, lost is ages ago, it hurts. It hurts a lot more than I expected it would. Perhaps those words, the ones that have been 'etched into my soul,' really do have a rightful place there.
Don't forget about me, I promise I won't forget about you.
And maybe, just maybe, I'm not ready to give that place up yet.
Best friends forever and ever,
Meems.
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"Hello?"
"Hey, it's me."
"Sora? Hey! I haven't heard from you in a while, what's been going on?"
"Not much," I lie. Summer doesn't need to know about everything that's happened with Tai and my friends. She doesn't deserve to know. She didn't deserve to ever be in contact with any of them, because they're all too good for her. I used to be too good for her, before I practically became her, but I'm over that now.
"You wanna check out this new club tonight with Jan, Josh and me? It's supposed to be totally hot," she squeals.
"Nope, not really. That's not why I'm calling, anyway." Let's see how she feels about that.
"What? Okay, why are you calling, then?" I can tell she's kind of taken aback. I've never declined an offer to party like that before.
"To say goodbye," I state coldly.
"Huh? Are you, like, going somewhere?" she asks. Clueless as ever, she is.
"Yeah, in a way, I guess I am. But first, I need to make something clear to everyone, and that includes you: we aren't friends. I don't want anything to do with you."
"What are you talking about?" she asks. She sounds kind of panicked. "Is this some kind of joke? 'Cause if it is, it isn't funny, Sor."
"It's not a joke, but the fact that I was ever friends with you is pretty funny," I snap. Okay, I'm being terrible to her, but I don't care. She's the one who started all of this. She's the one who got me straying away from Mimi and all my friends. "I'm not like you, the fact that I ever tried to be makes me sick. I don't know why I ever turned to you in the first place. I guess I was temporarily insane, or something, but I'm cured now."
"What the hell are you trying to say? Let me guess—Tai's okay now, so you don't need us anymore?" Summer demands. She's getting angry, too. Good. Anger is an emotion I can deal with, much better than I can pain or sadness, evidently.
"No, he isn't okay; I don't know if he ever will be. But you were right about one thing: I don't need you anymore. The fact that I ever did is still under speculation, of course."
"Okay, I'm hanging up right now..." Summer begins.
"Don't. I just wanted to call and say goodbye. Tell all your friends that I won't be coming out with you guys anymore. You can make up whatever bullshit story about me you want, I know you're good at that kind of stuff. Oh, and tell Josh that he was right, after all. I don't want him," I explain haughtily.
She makes a weird noise and it kind of sounds like she's crying...or at least about to. Maybe she is. I would if Mimi called me and said these things to me. I guess I was to her what Mimi is to me: a true blue best friend.
We're over, done with. I thought I needed her, but really, I needed to get away from her.
"So long, Sum. What can I say? It's been...real."
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The phone is ringing from somewhere behind me. I glance at the clock, and see that it's almost midnight. Who would be calling this late?
It's a good thing my parents are out at a work party for Daddy and won't be back until later. Daddy would freak out on whoever's calling so late at night. I stand up from the couch, where I was watching TV, and think about the scary movies I have seen. This is exactly how it all starts. It's dark and you're alone in the house. The killer calls you on the phone and sneaks up behind you, about to hack you to bits in your own living room.
I whirl around and find nobody standing behind me. I gingerly walk to the phone and pick up the receiver, still on the fence about whether or not I'm about to be slaughtered.
"H-hello?"
"Meems?" I know this voice. I haven't heard it in quite a while, but I know it, nonetheless. I could never forget her voice, even if I wanted to—which, for the record, I don't.
"Sora? Why are you calling so late?" Oops, did I sound bitchy? I didn't mean to, honestly.
"Sorry about that. I hope I didn't wake anyone?"
"No, there's nobody home for you to wake. It's just me," I state, trying to fill the silence between us. I'm astounded to realize that I'm not even angry at her for having the audacity to call me, after everything that's happened between us. I'm more...relieved. Maybe this can finally end, so we can all come together again, and be strong for Tai, and for each other.
"Oh, okay, great. Um, I just needed to talk to you about something, and it's kind of important," she says. Is this it? Is this when we have our big, emotional heart-to-heart and make up? I hope so.
"Okay, then. Go ahead."
"I, um, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I know that a lot of crazy things have been happening lately. We've had to deal with a lot of stuff and I haven't helped to lighten the load. I've been acting like a stupid brat, plain and simple," she admits. "But I want to thank you for giving me my space. I lost my head for a while there and I just needed to sort everything out without everyone around me. I hope you can forgive me, but if you can't, I will totally understand," she finishes.
Giving her space? Is that what she thinks I was doing? I'm glad that's how she sees it because, in reality, I was so furious that I couldn't stand to think about her, let alone see or talk to her. But I could never tell her that, not after everything she just owned up to. So I guess it's a good thing that she thinks this.
Now, the real question: can I forgive her? More important, do I want to forgive her? After everything that we've been through lately, after everything we've done to one another...said and thoughtabout one another?
"Of course I can forgive you, Sor," I say excitedly. "On one condition: you have to forgive me, too." She gives a sigh of relief.
"I think I can swing that," she laughs, and I can tell from her tone that she's smiling.
"Great." It goes quiet for a minute, and I think about what to say. This isn't a comfortable silence, like we used to have. This one seems expectant and, overall, unsettling. I guess it will take a while before we're back to how we used to be. Oh well. I'm willing to put in the time if she is.
"There's something I still have to get off my chest," Sora confesses. I say silent, waiting for her to elaborate. "I've grown up; you have to after something terrible happens to you. I wish everyday that it never happened, that we never had to deal with...this, but it did, and we do. I had to mature fast," she says, "much faster than I wanted to. I'll be the first to admit that I made a lot of mistakes, and I wish I could take them all back. But I've learned a lot about life. I've had to accept certain truths: Just when life starts getting good, something bad happens and it screws you over in a way you never even saw coming."
"What?" What's she going on about? I thought she was calling me to apologize, not bitch about how bad things have gotten. I know how things are; I'm going through them, too. Does she forget that? "What are you saying?"
"I know you might be a little confused, but I need you to listen really carefully. This is important. I want to give you some advice." She drops her voice down to almost a whisper as she talks. Advice about what...What could she mean?
"Okay," I agree before falling silent.
"Life doesn't care. Nobody cares, Meems. Not really; not when you get right down to it. You gotta suck it up and deal with it, because there will be another shitty incident just around the corner, and you'll have to contend with that, too."
What's this all about? I can't really understand anything she's saying. I mean, I get it, but I don't get why she's bringing this all up now.
I've been wishing she'd call me for a while, but now, I wish that she'd hang up.
"But I want you to remember one thing, Mimi, because it's very important to me, okay?"
"Yeah, what is it?" What else am I in store for, I wonder.
"You're my best friend. You always have been, and you always will be, no matter what. I know that we've kind of gone our separate ways lately, but I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for me. You've given me some great laughs and a ton of memories. You made growing up a blast, and while we weren't always together, you were there when it counted."
I get a pang of emotion through my heart. I don't think I have ever realized, before now, just how much I love Sora. It literally hurts when I think about how immature we were being, and how we weren't talking. I'm just going to thank my lucky stars that everything worked out between us, and put past events where they belong...in the past. She regrets what she's done; she doesn't need me holding it over her head. I will try to be understanding and loving and forgiving, because I can't risk losing her again.
"Thanks, Sor. You...you're the best friend I've ever had, and I just know that we'll always be this close, even when we're old and grey." I smile as she laughs. It's nice to hear laughter. I haven't been around too many happy people lately. But when I'm with Sora, we kind of turn back the clock and become excited, loud, gossiping school-girls and every mature, adult instinct just goes out the window. I feel small again, and I love the way I can only feel that way with certain people, Sora being one of them.
It helps to remind me how special those people are, how vital they are to my happiness. How necessary they are for me to really be me because, without them, I am not me...not really. I'm still Mimi, but I don't have the heart and soul. My friends are the main reason I smile, laugh, scream and cry, and I would not trade a single one of them for anything in the world, Sora especially.
"As if I could handle you for another fifty years, until we're 'old and grey'..." she teases.
"Well, I guess you're right. You'll be grey. I'll still have beautiful hair."
"Come on, Meems, pink isn't exactly a cool look for a grandma," she laughs. I roll my eyes.
"Obviously not. I'm talking about my natural colour," I clarify.
"And refresh my memory...that's blonde, right?"
"You know, I'm so blonde I think I forget how to use the phone. Which piece do I talk into, again? I should really just hang up right now, so I don't hurt my brain," I say sardonically.
"You always did have your wit about you," she quips. "So, has Matt walked in on anyone else in a compromising position lately?"
"No," I laugh. "It's hilarious, you should see it. He knocks about twenty times before walking into a room now!"
"Charming; quite the fiancé you've got there," she jokes. Part of me almost feels like I did before the whole shooting things. It's a big part; in fact, I almost just noted that Tai still hadn't proposed to her, completely forgetting his current state. Thank God I caught myself.
Her small chuckle is replaced with an audible sigh, and I can't help but feel like she can read my thoughts. Or, at the very least, she is thinking along the same lines as I am.
"It's going to be okay, you know that, don't you?" I say comfortingly.
"Huh? What do you mean?" she asks. Apparently, I have to spell it out for her.
"We're going to be okay...he's going to be—"
"And if he isn't?"
"And if he isn't, then we'll be there. It will be hard and it will hurt a lot, but we'll all have each other to lean on," I explain. "But let's not think about that unless we absolutely have to, okay? The important thing is that you'll make it through this in one piece, I promise." She makes a noise that sounds like she agrees, but I'm not really sure. Maybe she's only acknowledging what I just said, and she isn't agreeing at all. I guess I'll never know. I don't want to push her; I know it must be incredibly hard for her to talk about Tai like this. I would be a mess, if it were Matt.
"It's late," she notes after yawning, "so I'll let you go."
"Okay. I'll call you tomorrow, though?"
"Yeah, you better," she says.
"Great. And, um, no matter what happened, you were always my best friend," I say earnestly.
"Same here. I'm really sorry for our fight," she continues. "I love you, Meems."
"I love you, Sor. Goodnight, I'll see you later."
I hang up the phone and get a constricting feeling in my chest. We were very sentimental and adamant about our feelings and where we stood on our friendship, yet I have an unsettling sense of dread pooling in my stomach.
Why do I feel like I should have said more?
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"Hey," my mother greets, snapping me out of my reverie. She must have just gotten home from work, I suppose. Glancing at the clock, I see that it's a little after one...she's probably wondering why I'm still awake.
"Hey. How was work?"
"It could've been better, but it's over now, and that's a good thing," she reports. Her eyes scan the kitchen and then they stop on me, a concerned look now taking over her features. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, nothing..." I mumble. She puts her hands on her hips, squares her jaw and raises her eyebrows. In other words, she does the typical 'mom' stance. "About our fight the other day, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything I said, and I know that it wasn't your fault. I was pissed at Mimi and I took it out on you, instead."
Her expression softens and she takes her hands off her hips. Smiling slightly, she nods and says, "That's alright, dear, I figured as much. But you really shouldn't be mad at Mimi; she was simply trying to be a good friend."
"I know. I think I knew then, too, but I didn't want to admit it to myself. I was too...I don't know. I'm just a big screw-up." She walks around the counter and puts an arm around me from behind.
"You are not a screw-up. You're going through a rough time right now," she reassures me. "Sora, I can't pretend to know what you're feeling. I have no clue, and that's really scary. Mothers are supposed to understand and support their children, and I don't know what to do. I'm scared that if I try to be there for you, you'll feel like I'm smothering you, and you'll pull away." She sighs. "I feel so...helpless."
"I'm sorry. And I know I haven't been the most cooperative person in the world, but thanks for not giving up on me," I say.
"I love you. You can't possibly understand yet, but when you have kids of your own, you'll get it," she whispers. Except...I won't have kids of my own. I won't get married; I won't have a house or a career.
I have no future, no hope for anything, until Tai wakes up.
If he does wake up, then I can start thinking about my future. I can stop living in this miserable, empty moment that has stretched on for what feels like years and years. But that hasn't happened.
I stand up and turn around to face my mother, the woman I have had a love/hate relationship with practically since birth. "I love you so, so much." Her eyes water and she pulls me into a hug.
"I know, Mom. No matter what I've said in the past, remember that I love you, and I know you love me. I've always known."
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The next morning, Sora woke up, showered, dressed and ate breakfast as if it was any normal day for her. But it wasn't a normal day, not in the least.
"Can I borrow the car?" she asked her mother as she bounded down the stairs. Mrs. Takenouchi, who was off work today, as it was a Saturday, looked up from her newspaper and nodded.
"Where are you going?"
"I thought I'd go visit Tai. So, can I?"
"Oh, sure," her mom said. "The keys are on the counter." Sora smiled appreciatively and grabbed the keys, hurrying off to the car.
She drove to the hospital, her hands shaking slightly as she gripped the steering wheel. She hadn't been to see Tai in a while, but she figured today it was very important that she went.
She got to the hospital, parked the car and took the elevator to Tai's floor. When she got to his room, she was relieved to see that it was empty, with the exception of him. Sora assumed that Mrs. Kamiya (who had come to be more than regular visitor) was downstairs getting some food or re-energizing with a coffee or two.
She walked in and shut the door behind her, wanting her privacy. She sat in the bedside chair, and found it was warm. There was no doubt that someone had just been there.
"Hey, Tai, it's me. Sora," she whispered. "Listen, I need you to do me a favour. I've never really asked for much so if you could just do this one thing for me, I'd really appreciate it."
There was a deep silence, only pierced by the steady beeping of machines in the room.
"Well, I'm going to take that as a yes, okay?" There was silence. "Good," she laughed, before turning serious again. "You need to wake up. I don't care how you do it. I don't care if you have to sell your soul to the devil or whatever, just as long as you do it right now."
She sat there, unmoving, waiting for any signs of recognition or movement from the man before her. There was nothing.
"Okay then," she sighed. She stood up and took a step closer to him, so her legs were pressed into the bed. "I'm going to go now, before your mom comes back, but I love you, and I'll be waiting for you. Don't forget that," she whispered before leaning in and kissing him on the forehead. A tear slid down her cheek as she pulled away and walked out the door.
As she walked down the hall and waited for the elevator, she could still feel a tingle on her lips, from where she kissed his forehead. She sighed and held back a sob as she thought about Tai.
It just wasn't fair. They were eternally chasing something they could never have: a normal, happy life together. First, they denied any attraction and claimed to be just friends. Then Sora was only going to be in Odaiba for a few short weeks, and then she was temporarily living in America. Now, he's in a coma.
Why could they never be together?
What would it take to get them to finally be happy?
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Twenty-seven down, one to go.
EVERYBODY CHECK IT OUT: I recently went to read my first story, "One Month" and couldn't believe how different it was, compared to this one. Not just the plot, but the writing style, the length of the chapters, and everything else. So I'm going over it and fixing it up (nothing will be taken out but a lot will be added in each chapter), just incase you want to see the new version, I'll be posting throughout the week.
Everybody who reads this story, even if you don't normally review (which I'm fine with), please leave a comment this time. I'd love to hear from my readers, and I want you all to make a prediction for how you think it will end. If you think you're got it all figured out and you don't want to post it because you think you'll ruin it for others, then you can send me an email about it. I'm dying to see how many of you will be right and how many will be way off (because I really feel I've made it look like it can go either way). Just remember to put your screen name, so I can give you praise if you're right!
See you next time, for the final chapter! ...Did anyone else get a shiver just now?