Hellsing's Fanbase Problems: Chapter 2: PROBLEMSPROBLEMSPROBLEMS

Written by Liz the Weird.

Fanbase People are (c) Themselves.

I DO NOT OWN THE HELLSING CHARACTERS, OMGWTF. They all belong to Kouta Hirano and all that jazz. He is godly.

Flames are tasty. Yum. I eat them for breakfast :D

"I am wow." means they are talking, and /Holy Crap./ means thought. Okay? GOOD. D:

I'm not sure what the Fic is rated, but it sure seems like a T to me. o.o

LOLOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGLOL.

Integra struggled from the chair she was tied to, until V grabbed her head and made her face the TV. V grinned even more in the creepy way.. more then last time! The.. creepiest.. CREEPY. Yeah. A Creepy Johnny the Homicidal Maniac way.

A moment of silence and the TV cackled.

'FUFUFUFUFUFUFUFU." It said as it blinked on. A white screen with a red dot at the corner was seen.

It was a Kotex commercial.

Integra stared blankly at the commercials, rolling both of her fists in a ball. Gritting her teeth so hard that it began to hurt.

V grinned and still kept Integra still.

More Kotex commercials.

5 minuets passed..

Then 10...

And then..

ESTROGEN COMMERCIALS!

Oh the horror.

"Why.. are you showing me this exactly?" Integra said, getting really annoyed at the commercials. And then thrashed like there was no tommrow. V just laughed and reamained to keep her still.

"My. . . You really are angery today, arn't you? Did somthing happen?" V questioned Integra.

Integra grumbled and watched more Kotex and Estrogen commercials.

SOMEPLACE WHERE MAXWELL IS

The Roman wandered around after the problem with his sash that just came to life.

He suddenly tripped again. "UGH!" He screamed. He lifted himself off the ground, and the Sash was alive once again.

"YOU LIKE INTEGRA." One half cackled. "We are gonna frame yoooooou!" The other half said as it wiggled.

"Yeah! For feeling up Integra's shirt!" Both of the sides wiggled and wrapped around Maxwell, one of the ends playing with his hair while the other end was poking his face.

"NEENER NEENER NEENER!"

Maxwell grumbled and yanked the ends of the sash away from his head and crossed his arms.

"You are NOT real!" He declared.

"YES WE AAAAARE." Both of the ends of the sash said at once, wrapping around his arms and moving them to hit him on his head.

"OW! Why you!" He tried moving his arms. Useless. He cried.

Maxwell then walked off, trying to ignore the moving ends of the sash.

Then suddenly the ends screeched "FEED ME SEYMOUR."

Maxwell covered his ears and proceeded to walk into a room to calm down. After walking inside and shutting the door, he sat down on the edge of the bed, until he heard somthing. AN EAR PIERCING SCREAM FROM THE CLOUSIT.

Maxwell finched a bit before he fell on the ground and rolled around as he covered his ears in terrible pain. He cried. Again.

Ruka jumped out of the clousit when she was done screaming, grabbed Maxwell off of the ground, and grinned at him.

In her hand, was a pair of chopsticks, plastic ones.

Maxwell blinked, and just stared at the girl nervously.

"W-What are you.. going to do with that?"

"THEYS GONNA BE IN YOUR NOSE!" The sash wiggled.

Ruka giggled.

"Exactly!" Ruka stuffed the Chopsticks up Maxwell's nose.

A scream was heard through out the organization.

Lets see what Aki is doing!

Aki was happily skipping around the hallway until she saw Walter. She pointed at him and hissed.

"OLDOLDOLDOLDOLDOLDOLD."

Walter jumped and then stared at Aki.

Aki stared at Walter. Aki put on a pair of rubber gloves and proceeded to prod Walter on the forehead.

"Your old!" She continued prodding. "Thank you..?" Walter said. He backed away from a bit until he was against a wall.

Somthing clicked in Aki's brain and then grinned.

THE MOST. HORRIBLE. GRIN. EVER.

Back with Integra...

KOTEX. KOTEX. ESTROGEN. KOTEX.

ESTROGEN.

Integra stared blankly as she was forced to watch some more commercials. Until she finally had it.

V sighed and said, "Okay, okay. . ." She popped in a new DVD.

A women comes up on the screen.

"Living with genital herpes can be a hassle."

Integra screams at the top of her lungs, "YOU'VE GOT TA BE KIDDING ME."

"HEY. I'M TRYING TO HEAR THE SPANISH VERSION" V billows.

Integra slowly turns around and gawks at V with her blue, bloodshot dazed eyes, "S-Spanish?"

V laughed lightly, "Of course! I have it in 400 languages--- many I just made up four hours ago in which I laughed at."

7 hours later...

V yawns, "One more DVD."

Integra's in a state of unstableness as she time-to-time goes into fits of crying and laughing together.

V pops in the DVD. No sound.

Just Liz's old buddy icon in which Yan's face is flashing blue and white in a purely epilleptic manner.

Integra turns to V, "AND WHY ARN'T YOU INSANE YET?"

V looks at her, "Like, duuuuh. I'm from Ohio."

Integra's left eye twitches simultaneous with a lip quirrel.

Just outside of the Hellsing Organization...

Outside stood 6 people. No. Not the ones that were from the beginning. It was..

The Millennium.

Hans admantly steps forward to waiver his battle cry.

Krieg walks behind Hans to pat his shoulder, "Zhat ist so true."

He then gluttonously stuffs a grenade into his mouth.

But it's not a grenade, I just like writing that word.

It was a pink frosted donut.

Doc stood there with a notebook writing down some random plans in German, as Kreig spoke to Hans. Schrodinger was standing next to Rip, and Zorin was polishing the blade of her scythe.

Rip glanced over to Krieg and walked over to him.

"Zhall ve ghet going soon?" The German vampire questioned.

"Ja.." A sick grin set upon Krieg's features as the group marched towards the enterance. Once that the German opened the door and stepped inside the complex..

Liz jettisons through the air to latch upon his leg.

She politely asks, "Santa comma is that you question mark?"

"Nein." Krieg replys, staring at the strange girl that latched upon his leg.

Liz grinned and slithered away.

Schro scratches his right ear, "Ehhh... letz not go een, ja?"

The others let out a sigh, except for Hans.

"NEIN!" Kreig yelled. Before he knew it, he was taken into the darkness of the hallways.

The others were wide eyed.

SUDDENLY.

Out of the blue, Liz screams "HAAAAAKIIIII SAKII!" and she latches herself onto Rip's back.

Suprized by the sudden scream, She flinched and yelled out..

"VHAT ZEH HELL DU JU VANT?"

Schrodinger, Zorin, and Hans stare.

Liz tied herself to Rip as she stood there.

Doc couldn't resist laughing.

Rip glared at the three, and hissed. "GHET ZHIS ... ZHIS.. THING OPF OF ME!" She yelled. Doc sighed and walked over to her, taking a look at how Liz tied herself to Rip's back. Doc let out a sigh.

"Kan't."

Rip twitched. "Vhat.. did ju zay?"

Doc just shook his head. "Ze frauline tied herself to ju pretty good.. und ze knot ist hard to untie too."

Rip sighed at her bad luck.

LOLOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGWTFOMGLOL.

WOO and that makes Chapter 2!

Well, More is soon to be written. A friend will be doing Chapter 3 by the way.

And I guess I'll be catching up on 4.

I'm sorry if your brain is missing somthing. ;