Return to Camelot
Part 2
Bobby walked into the corridor of the Intensive Care Unit at Dallas Memorial Hospital and found J.R. sitting in a chair by the wall, across from the observation window of Sue Ellen's hospital room. J.R. looked haggard, and Bobby could tell from J.R.'s tear-stained cheeks, that he had been crying. Bobby's eyes misted over, as he saw his older brother in an entirely different light.
For the first time in his life, Bobby saw vulnerability in J.R. that in one fell stroke eliminated any ill feelings that Bobby had ever harbored for his eldest brother. Bobby touched J.R. on the shoulder, but J.R. remained still, refusing to tear his eyes away from Sue Ellen's motionless form.
Bobby said, "J.R., has there been any news?"
J.R. put his head in his hands, and shook his head, 'no.'
Bobby asked, "Can I get anything for you? A cup of coffee, maybe, or some hot tea?"
J.R. lifted his head from his hands, and said, "No, I . . . I'm fine."
Bobby watched as J.R. stared into Sue Ellen's hospital room. Bobby sat down next to J.R. He felt an overwhelming desire to support J.R., even if it meant sitting silently by J.R.'s side, Bobby would stay there for his brother's sake. J.R. sat up straight in his chair, as nurse walked into Sue Ellen's room to check her vital signs, and make a notation on Sue Ellen's chart. J.R. stood up from his chair as the nurse came out of Sue Ellen's room.
J.R. asked, "Has there been any change?"
The nurse frowned, and said, "No, I'm sorry, Mr. Ewing."
J.R. exhaled, and sat back down in his chair. Bobby felt helpless as he studied his older brother. He remembered another time when J.R. had kept a vigil over Sue Ellen. It was shortly after Sue Ellen had given birth to John Ross. Sue Ellen's prognosis for recovery was nearly as impossible then, as it was now. Back then Bobby had been able to break through the wall of silence, and talk to J.R. That wasn't the case this time.
Bobby arose from his chair, and said, "J.R., it's nearly three in the morning. Don't you think you should at least try and get some sleep? You won't be doing either of you any good by not taking care of yourself."
J.R. barked at Bobby, "I don't need a damn lecture from you, Bob. I don't need sleep, either. I just need to know that Sue Ellen's gonna be all right. Now, leave me alone."
Bobby dismissed J.R.'s harsh response, attributing it to J.R.'s lack of sleep, and his genuine concern for Sue Ellen. Bobby walked back down the corridor, and turned the corner. J.R. leaned his head against the wall, and closed his eyes.
"Please, God, I know I don't deserve your help, but even sinners need help, too…sometimes," J.R. prayed, under his breath.
Dr. Chamberlain walked down the hall of the Intensive Care Unit, and stopped in front of the observation window of Sue Ellen's room. He turned around and looked at J.R. He tapped J.R. on the shoulder, causing J.R. to spring from his chair.
Dr. Chamberlain apologized for startling J.R., and said, "Mr. Ewing, under certain extenuating circumstances, I have permitted patients' spouses to stay in the patient's hospital room. I don't see any reason why I shouldn't let you join your wife."
J.R. arose from his chair, and graciously thanked the doctor.
Dr. Chamberlain continued, "I'll have an orderly bring in a bed for you to sleep on. You'll have full access to your wife's room, unless there is a setback in her current condition."
J.R. started to reach for the handle on the door to Sue Ellen's room, then turned around, and said, "Thank you, Dr. Chamberlain. I appreciate this more than you'll know."
Dr. Chamberlain walked toward the nurse's station, as J.R. slowly closed the thick, glass door to Sue Ellen's room. J.R. glanced around the room at all of the monitoring equipment, and placed his thumb and forefinger on the bridge of his nose, trying once again to stifle his emotions.
J.R. sat down in the chair next to Sue Ellen's bed, and reached for her hand. Sue Ellen's eyes were closed, and a nasal cannula that provided oxygen was firmly placed inside her nostrils. An intravenous antibiotic drip, and Lactated Ringer's solution were being delivered to Sue Ellen's system through a series of clear IV tubing lines, attached to a plastic needle, that had been securely taped to the back of Sue Ellen's left hand.
J.R. would spend the next few hours staring at Sue Ellen, praying for a glimmer of hope for her recovery. The constant 'beeping' sound of Sue Ellen's heart monitor had made it nearly impossible for J.R. to sleep. J.R. turned his head as he caught a glimpse of the sunrise from the window behind the nurse's station.
The brilliant magenta and gold colors of the morning sun as it peeked through the clouds reminded J.R. of the first morning him and Sue Ellen had spent together at Southfork, after their wedding night. J.R. awoke before Sue Ellen, and seized the opportunity to watch her sleep. J.R. recalled smiling at how incredibly beautiful he thought Sue Ellen looked, while sleeping in his arms.
J.R. vividly remembered the colors of that particular sunrise, thinking about how many times Sue Ellen had commented to J.R. about how much she enjoyed watching the sunrise at Southfork. J.R.'s eyes misted over, as he tried to choke back his powerful feelings of helplessness, and regret.
J.R. almost jumped out of his chair, as he heard a low moan escape Sue Ellen's lips. J.R. reached for Sue Ellen's hand, and smiled as her fingers curled around his palm. J.R. pressed the 'call' button for the nurse's station, and anxiously waited for a response.
The nurse pushed her chair away from the desk at the nurse's station, and walked toward Sue Ellen's room. J.R. motioned for the nurse to open the door.
The nurse peered around the door, and said, "You called, Mr. Ewing?"
J.R. excitedly said, "Yeah, Sue Ellen moaned, and then she squeezed my hand."
The nurse opened the door and walked into the room. The nurse walked over to Sue Ellen's chart, and compared her last recorded vital signs with the current information from the monitoring equipment. Sue Ellen's blood pressure appeared to have stabilized, and her pulse rate was increasing.
J.R. said, "That's a good sign, right? She's gonna be all right, now. Isn't she?"
The nurse smiled at J.R., and said, "I'll have your wife's doctor explain everything to you, as soon as we page him to the unit."
J.R. rubbed at his eyes, as the nurse left Sue Ellen's room. J.R. grinned as he heard a page requesting that Doctor Chamberlain report to the intensive Care Unit.
J.R. rubbed Sue Ellen's right hand, being careful not to put pressure on the spot where an IV had been removed, and said, "You've got to pull through this, Sugar. We're gonna be business partners, and if I have my way, I'm gonna convince you to marry me. Maybe then you'll make an honest man of me yet."
J.R. backed away from Sue Ellen's bed, as Dr. Chamberlain entered the hospital room.
Dr. Chamberlain asked, "Were you in here when your wife spoke, Mr. Ewing?"
J.R. said, "Yes. Yes, I was. Sue Ellen let out a low moanin' sound, then she curled her finger's around my hand."
Dr. Chamberlain said, "Well, her vital signs have certainly improved since last night. I'm somewhat concerned that she hasn't regained consciousness, but then she was under fairly heavy sedation for her surgery. I'll stop by again, after I make my rounds, and see if there's been any change in her condition."
J.R. shook Dr. Chamberlain's hand, and said, "I really do owe you a world of thanks, Doctor. I don't know what I would have done, if Sue Ellen had died."
Dr. Chamberlain said, "Your wife may not be out of the woods, yet, Mr. Ewing. We'll continue monitoring her, and hope for a change for the better."
J.R. waited until the doctor left Sue Ellen's room, before sitting back down next to Sue Ellen's bed. J.R. clasped Sue Ellen's right hand between his hands, and kissed the back of her hand. Her skin felt warm to his touch. J.R. frowned, as he recalled how cold, and clammy Sue Ellen's skin felt the night before.
Sue Ellen's eyelashes fluttered, as she moaned, "Ahh . . . "
J.R. jumped out of his chair, and opened the door, calling to the nurse's station, "She's wakin' up!"
The nurse ran from her desk to Sue Ellen's room, and hurried past J.R. Sue Ellen moaned, again, as the nurse hovered over her bed.
The nurse glanced at J.R., and said, "I'll get her something for the pain, and then I'll page Dr. Chamberlain for you, Mr. Ewing."
J.R. leaned over Sue Ellen's bed, and lightly kissed Sue Ellen's cheek, as Sue Ellen opened her eyes. Sue Ellen eyes moved from side to side, then she lifted her head, to look at J.R.
J.R. ran his hand over Sue Ellen's head, brushing her hair out of her eyes. Sue Ellen winced, as she started to speak.
J.R. said, "Shh, Honey. You're gonna be fine. Try not to move. The nurse is gonna get you somethin' for your pain."
A tear rolled under Sue Ellen's lower lashes, and gradually slid down the side of her face, toward her ear. J.R. lifted his hand to Sue Ellen's cheek, and tenderly wiped away the teardrop. The nurse came back into the room, and injected a dose of pain medication into the medication port in one of Sue Ellen's IV lines.
Sue Ellen hoarsely whispered, "J.R., . . . "
J.R. touched his fingertip to Sue Ellen's lips, and said, "Don't talk, Sugar. I'll tell you everything you want to know, when you're feelin' better."
Sue Ellen closed her eyes, and drifted off to sleep, as the injected dose of pain medication quickly took effect.
J.R. lifted his head, and said, "Thank you, God."
Dr. Chamberlain returned to the Intensive Care Unit, and opened the door to Sue Ellen's room.
J.R. stood up from his chair, and said, "She opened her eyes and said my name."
The doctor smiled, and said, "That's wonderful news, Mr. Ewing. Has she been given anything for pain?"
J.R. said, "Yeah, the nurse gave her somethin' in her IV line. Is she gonna be in a lot of pain?"
Dr. Chamberlain said, "Yes, I'm afraid she'll experience a great deal of pain, until her incision heals, and the skin sutures dissolve."
J.R. pursed his lips, then said, "I take it you weren't able to make a small incision?"
Dr. Chamberlain shook his head, and said, "No, the damage to her fallopian tube was more extensive than her preliminary ultrasound indicated. We were able to perform a culdocentesis, and discovered the severity of her internal bleeding from the results of that test. The good news is that you'll be able to try for another baby, after she's completely healed."
J.R. turned his head away from the doctor, and said, "I didn't know she was pregnant with this baby."
Dr. Chamberlain said, "Chances are, that she wasn't aware of her condition, either, Mr. Ewing. Most ectopic pregnancies are difficult to diagnose because symptoms often mirror those of a normal early pregnancy."
The doctor continued, "It's not uncommon for a woman in your wife's age group to have missed periods. They mistakenly tend to associate the occurrence with menopause, and disregard pain or dizziness, as they attribute those episodes to changing hormones."
J.R. nodded his head, and said, "Now that you mention it, Sue Ellen has been complainin' about feelin' dizzy, lately. I never occurred to me that she could have been pregnant."
Dr. Chamberlain said, "Your wife's chances of becoming pregnant again are greater than forty-percent, Mr. Ewing. However, I would strongly recommend waiting a while, at least until she's had a chance to deal with the emotional aspects of losing the baby."
J.R.'s smile had been replaced with a frown, as he asked, "How far along was she?"
Dr. Chamberlain sighed, and said, "My best guess would have been about ten weeks."
J.R. tried to estimate when the baby had been conceived, then decided against it, realizing the futility of his efforts. None of that mattered at this point, he mused. The most important thing to him now, was that Sue Ellen seemed to be improving.
Dr. Chamberlain said, "Mr. Ewing? I'm afraid that your wife will have some emotional scars, in addition to the physical scars from her surgery. She'll need a lot of tender loving care, and a patient and understanding partner to help her adjust to the loss."
J.R. wanted to tell the doctor that he, too, had suffered the loss of a baby, but he chose not to speak. The last thing in the world that Sue Ellen needed to hear would have been a selfish response from the man who claimed to love her more than anyone.
The doctor continued speaking, "In these situations, the guilt and depression felt by both partners can cause a lot of tension for both of you, at a time when you and your wife need each other the most."
J.R. said, "I understand, and I appreciate your tellin' me all of this, Doctor. Is there anything that I can do for her right now?"
Dr. Chamberlain touched J.R.'s arm, and said, "The best thing you can do for your wife is to take care of yourself, Mr. Ewing. The nurses told me that you didn't sleep at all last night. I suggest you try to get some rest. I can prescribe a sleeping pill for you, if you'd like?"
J.R. said, "No, I'll see if I can't get to sleep on my own. I don't want to sleep too deeply, 'cause then I might not hear Sue Ellen if she calls for me."
Dr. Chamberlain smiled, and said, "Very well, then, Mr. Ewing. I'll stop by in a few hours to see how your wife is doing."
J.R. removed his shoes, and climbed on top of the bed next to Sue Ellen's bed. J.R. reached his hand across the bed, and held Sue Ellen's hand. J.R. watched the rise and fall of Sue Ellen's chest with every mechanically assisted breath she took. J.R. lost the battle he had been fighting against his own exhaustion, as he succumbed to the welcome respite of sleep.
Sue Ellen opened her eyes, and turned her head to look for J.R. She was in pain, but the feeling of J.R. holding her hand was a comfort to her. She tried to roll onto her side, but a stabbing pain shot through her lower abdomen. She winced from the sudden discomfort she felt, as her excruciating pain intensified.
J.R. awoke when he felt Sue Ellen move her hand.
J.R. sat up, and said, "Oh, Honey. Please, try not to move."
Sue Ellen groggily said, "God, J.R. what happened to me? Why am I in so much pain?"
J.R. lowered the railing on Sue Ellen's bed, and sat down by her side. He clasped Sue Ellen's hand in his hand, and rubbed her hand with his fingers. J.R. moved his free hand to her face, as a steady stream of tears ran down her cheeks. He touched Sue Ellen's cheek with his thumb, and wiped at her tears. Sue Ellen moved her head to touch J.R.'s hand.
J.R. spoke in a gentle, and soothing voice as he explained to Sue Ellen that she had a ruptured tubal pregnancy, and that she had to undergo emergency surgery to stop her internal bleeding, and save her life. Sue Ellen's eyes widened as she contemplated the implications of what J.R. told her.
Sue Ellen slowly shook her head in disbelief, as she asked, "I was pregnant? That's impossible."
J.R. leaned forward, and brushed a strand of hair behind Sue Ellen's her ear. J.R. choked back his tears, as Sue Ellen implored J.R. to tell her that he still loved her in spite of her losing their baby.
J.R. tenderly kissed Sue Ellen, and whispered, "God, I love you so much, Honey. I don't blame you at all for what happened. I'm just grateful that you're alive, and that you're gonna be fine."
Sue Ellen lowered her eyes, as tears of sorrow for the loss of their unborn child streamed down her face…