POCKET CHANGE 3: HIDE and SEEK
by Sharon R.

Chapter Eight

TUESDAY MORNING

"Are you married?" Amanda practically hugged the door of the cab as though it would keep her that much further away from Carter - the stranger.

"No."

"Then you have a girlfriend?" She looked at the passing landscape as the cab made its way through the city, speaking to the window and never directly to Carter.

"Not right now."

"Was my mom your girlfriend in Africa?"

"What? No."

"She took a lot of pictures of you. I mean a lot." She traced with her finger in the dewy breath left behind on the window, her days old pink nail polish long since chipped or worn away to half its original glamour.

"She took a lot of pictures of everyone at the camp."

"I assumed it was you. I mean, in her letter she said a doctor had fallen madly in love with her, and all those pictures, and well…"

"It wasn't…" he looked at the back of her head as he spoke, but soon also shifted his focus to the scenery passing by his own window. "… Ah, not me."

"That other one? The one that talks funny?"

Carter nodded as he slipped into his sunglasses. Amanda wasn't the only one who could hide behind something. "She and Luka were…" he paused while he tried to choose the appropriate wording, "…they were good friends."

"Is this your street? Which apartment building do you live in?"

"No. This is Sheridan Road. We're taking it out of the city… to my house."

"Oh."

As they slowed in traffic at Belmont, Amanda jerked her head around, finally looking at Carter. Or, rather, past him. "What's that statue?" She pointed across Carter's chest to an old statue depicting a soldier on a horse.

"That is Lt. General Phillip Henry Sheridan. He's an Irish guy who was a Civil War hero and even helped out during the Great Chicago Fire in 1871."

"My Grandpa Reilly was a hero in Ireland. My mom said he was full of all kinds of malarky, whatever that means."

By the time they pulled into the long driveway Amanda was half asleep on Carter's shoulder. Feeling the car slow down, she raised her head and looked around at the countryside.

"When are we going to get to your street?" she asked.

"This is the driveway. See, the house is up there."

The cab finally pulled up over the ridge and parked at the front door. Amanda's eyes widened with anticipation of whatever her wild imagination could conjure up at that moment.

"Wow! This is a palace," she proclaimed as she got out of the cab empty handed. Forgetting to even close the door behind her, she was instantly smitten with the accommodations, at least from the outside. "You live here?"

Carter nodded as he paid the cabbie, exchanged acknowledging looks with the large security guard dressed in street clothes holding open the cab door, then took out Amanda's belongings and started up the walkway.

"Don't touch that," she spouted angrily, grabbing the pink backpack hastily from Carter. "Nobody touches that but me."

Carter said nothing and let the girl have her way as she held onto the prized backpack with both hands. At the top of the stairs, she took a step backwards as the large ornate doors opened from the inside.

"Good morning, Dr. John," Maria greeted him, the cook standing beside her.

"Good morning Maria, Emily. This is Amanda - the young lady I told you about. She's going to spend some time with us."

The women smiled broadly at the girl. It had been many years since they had been charged with the care of a child, and they briefly looked forward to the task once again.

"I'll take your things to your room," Maria gently spoke, taking the suitcase from Carter, then reaching out for the backpack in Amanda's hands.

"I'd leave that be," Carter quietly and politely told the woman, almost apologetically.

"So you'll be my maids?" Amanda asked as she looked up at the tall ceilings and turned around to get the full panoramic view. "Cool. I like cereal and fruit in the morning - low fat milk, not one percent or skim. Toast before bed. And I'll have to have a synthetic pillow. I'm allergic to feathers." Standing before the women, she looked between the two. "Do you have grandkids?"

"Aren't you a lovely young lady," Maria sarcastically complimented her with a forced smile. "You remind me so much of Dr. John's mother."

As Maria took the suitcase upstairs, Emily stayed back and raised her nose in the air as if…

"I know," Carter lamented, "I smell."

"Hey, what's in here?" Amanda bounded first into the large formal living room. "Wow." Carter could hardly keep up with her as she went from room to room. "Where are all the toys?"

"Ah… it's been a while since children lived here. Since I was a kid, actually."

"That's like, forever."

"Thanks."

The grand and elegant rooms were separated by opulent double doors which she flung open as she meandered through the downstairs, touching the marble and mahogany mantles, teak and cherry woodwork, antiques on pedestals and custom made majestic furniture which the staff had obviously gone to the trouble of uncovering for the guest. Not far behind was Emily, ever worried about the well being of the valuables the girl was pawing. And not far behind Emily was Carter who rather enjoyed watching Amanda discover his childhood home, that is until she had completed the circuit. The last door to meet her belonged to the library.

"Amanda, let's stay out of that room." Carter was barely able to finish the sentence before she opened the doors and walked into a room that appeared to be frozen in time.

"Cool! Look at all these books." Ignoring Carter's wishes she walked straight to the middle of the room and stood under the large, ostentatious chandelier. "Who read all these books?"

"Um, my grandparents I guess. My family." Carter anxiously played with his wrist watch, twisting it back and forth. "Come on, this isn't a room, to... ah… play in."

"Dr. John," Emily spoke quietly from behind, "they're just books. The girl has to have something to do while she's here."

He was exhausted, overwhelmed and certainly not up to substitute parenting Colleen Reilly's precocious daughter. "I've got to get some sleep. I'm on again tonight."

"Nights all week?" Emily asked concerned.

"Half shift tomorrow night, then days."

"Can we have dinner at that big dining room table," Amanda asked, "like real rich people?"

"Um…" Emily in one ear, Amanda in the other, "… sure. I guess." He backed out of the room and tried to put on a polite face. "Emily," he whispered, "try to keep her inside and to the back of the house." Without a word, he quietly slipped upstairs to his room.

"Who's on the phone?" Sam asked Chuny as she watched Luka struggle to hear with one hand covering his exposed ear.

"Africa, I think. He planning on going back?"

"Not that I know of." She looked on from a distance, cautiously, not wanting to interfere.

"Hey, when do you guys leave?" Chuny poked Sam in the shoulder with the eraser end of her pencil to get her attention. "I said when does your vacation begin?"

"Ah… I'm off tomorrow. Luka's working twelve and we leave early Thursday morning."

"I bet he's sticking you with the packing."

"Now, that's not such a bad thing. I'm packing while he's at work. Get to bed early, up early and we're out of here."

Luka hung up and walked briskly into the lounge, Sam following on his heels.

"Luka, who was on the phone?"

"Maggie."

"Who's that?

"Maggie Doyle. She's the doctor in charge of the camp clinic."

"She have news on Amanda's father?"

"She didn't even know why Sean came back to the states."

"And this Bob guy?"

"Soldiers say they heard he'd been killed. But the locals don't believe it." He sat at the table and idly played with some fast food ketchup packets left behind. "This doesn't feel right. I'm going to call Carter."

Sam stopped his hand before it even got to the telephone. "He's probably sleeping. Luka, please. Just let it be." Sitting down next to him she held his hand with both of hers. "Is everything okay at the camp?"

"Like nothing happened," he said. "The connection is bad, though. Doesn't last long."

"That happens, doesn't it?"

Luka nodded and pulled her hands towards his face, planting a soft kiss on the back of each hand. "I'm just worried."

"I know. Give it time."

Amanda skipped through the huge house eventually reaching the kitchen. "Emily, are we ready?"

"Don't you look beautiful." she marveled. Amanda had put on a dress, the only one she owned, and a pair of black Mary-Jane shoes over her white tights. "You did a wonderful job with the table. Why don't you tell Dr. John that dinner will be served soon."

Her shoes clicked over the hard marble floor, then tapped up the staircase to the second floor. Amanda neglected to ask which room was Carter's and ended up looking in each door as she hummed her way down the hallway until she opened the last one and spied him sound asleep in bed. She had never seen such a sophisticated, elaborate four poster bed before and walked around it admiring the size and beauty before finally approaching Carter's still face.

"Emily says it's time for dinner," she whispered with no obvious results as Carter remained motionless in his state of deep sleep. "Hey," she said a little louder. Finally she reached down and with both hands on his chest, shook him. "It's time to get up," she shouted.

His hands reached up in amazing speed and firmly grabbed the child's forearms frightening her into a loud gasp, but somehow her resiliency allowed her to remain still enough to wait until Carter had woken up.

"Get... out," he managed in a half asleep but firm voice without releasing Amanda's arms. His face reddened and he seethed through his clenched jaw, puffing his cheeks out with every angry breath.

"Emily, says it's time for dinner." Somehow she managed to speak calmly and stay focused. "Dr. Carter?"

Finally as she tried to wiggle out of his grip, his eyes fluttered and he squeezed them open and shut a few times as he regained his focus. When he realized what he was doing - that he was holding Amanda's arms so tightly that her hands had darkened from the pressure - he drew in a ragged breath and released her. "I'm sorry. I must have been dreaming."

"Emily told me to get you," she said quietly, reclaiming her arms with dignity and walking out of the room, with one last look back at him over her shoulder as she closed the door.

Carter shook his head in disbelieving self horror at what he had awoken to, or rather what he had done while asleep. He didn't even know what he had been dreaming about. Wiping away the remnants of sleep from his eyes, he stepped into the shower and buried his face in the stream of water letting the coldness bring him back to a full state of alertness before finally relaxing enough in the gradual warmth the old pipes finally brought to him. He put his hands against the tiled wall, leaning into them, hoping to alleviate the very slight trembling from within. Looking down at his flaccid member, he joked to himself, used to be a time that a warm shower between girlfriends meant some solo action for you!

He shaved and even put on a dress shirt and tie. It was time to give Kerry Weaver what she wanted, even if it was nothing more than a properly wrapped package called Dr. John Truman Carter, regardless of what was inside. As a side thought, he carefully folded DeRaad's scripts and put them in his pocket with his wallet.

At the bottom of the stairs, he put his suit coat on and grabbed a set of keys from a drawer in the console. "Emily," he shouted towards the kitchen, "I'm taking the Jag. See you in the morning."

"Dr. John, Amanda has dressed the dining room table for you," she said with a hint in her voice as she rounded the corner from the kitchen. "Couldn't you stay for just a bit?"

He was reluctant, but sauntered into the formal dining room nonetheless. There, properly attired in a very girly party dress, was the red headed, freckle faced Amanda sitting down at a very formally set table.

"Gamma's good china," he remarked with contention to Emily standing in the doorway to the butler's pantry.

"It's not doing any good in storage."

Carter nodded. He understood, but didn't agree with Emily. "You and Emily have a good dinner," he told the girl, blatantly ignoring the two dinners served at the table as he buttoned his cuffs. "I have to get to work. I'll see you in the morning."

Amanda sat with a stone cold face. The face of a child who grew up with disappointment. A face Carter should have identified with, had he looked at her.

"Your General Sheridan wasn't really a hero you know," she threw out at him with a hint of feminine vengeance.

"And how do you know this?"

"I like to read, and you have lots of books." She knew he didn't want her in the library, but it was a dig at his psyche that she also knew would work to her advantage. "After the civil war he went to Missouri where he took Indians and forced them to live on reservations. Like jails."

"It's what he knew. It's just what they did back then. And he was following orders. Sometimes you have to do what you're told to do and trust that people are looking out for your best interest."

"Even if it's wrong?"

"Sometimes." Carter turned and walked to the back of the house and garage entrance. "See you ladies in the morning."

(A few lines from song lyrics for 'When I Look in Your Eyes' by Leslie Bricusse, Johnny Mandell and sung by Diana Krall previously properly attributed, have been deleted on 5/03/05 due to new regulations by site administrators. Complete original text of this fic can be found at LUKAFIC)

The phone was ringing. Looking on the display, Luka knew right away it was Sam. She had called him twice already reminding him not to forget to pack this or that. He let the answering machine pick it up… again. He'd let her assume he was in a deep sleep. She knew he was a deep sleeper - had to physically shake him when his pager went off. But as he sat on the edge of the bed fully intent on getting a good nights sleep - starting 2 hours ago - he couldn't get his mind off of Colleen, by way of Amanda.

When he closed his eyes on the EL he saw Colleen at the Midway talking with the students, taking their pictures, then dancing with Carter and whispering in his ear. When he closed his tired eyes between charts at the hospital he saw Colleen hustling to get that one last picture of the mother mourning her son Manny's tragic death. When he closed his eyes in bed he saw Colleen in bed with him in her pure nakedness as she exuded raw lust for him.

And when someone at the hospital knocked over a ladder in the hallway he heard the gunshot that ended her life and saw the picture of Amanda she had kept in that book among her few scant belongings she dragged along with her on her gypsy journalist life.

Of all the things that could keep him from Sam, it was the ghost of Colleen and her near clone of a daughter that seemed to be winning, and he had to keep the details from her… from them… at all cost.

Another day and he would be off with Sam and Alex on their mystery vacation. Luka didn't care where, as long as it was away from the hospital, away from the reminders of Colleen. Somewhere that for just a week or two he could pretend to start things anew with Sam, and to be something to Alex other than his mother's boyfriend. He was wide awake staring up at the ceiling, looking around his bedroom and taking mental notes on what needed to be cleaned or fixed. That same cobweb was still on the ceiling fan. A crack in the plaster over the window needed to be fixed. It was the same list he had created in his head the previous two nights, with no new additions. It was a thorough list.

His phone was ringing again.


WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON

The second night shift in a row, back home and straight to bed was all something Carter had grown accustom to over the years. Waking up to a precocious and vibrant ten year old was definitely not a daily event. He had forgotten how well sound traveled in the hollow of the house. Even though he had set his alarm, his body had woken him early for his half night shift, perhaps by way of the sound of Amanda downstairs entertaining herself.

Since he left for work the night before, he hadn't even seen her. A quick shower and shave, his dark pants, white shirt and silk tie, and Carter was ready once again for work.

"Good afternoon, Dr. John." Emily greeted him at the bottom of the stairs. "Sleeping well?"

"Better, yes," Carter answered. "How are things going with the girl?"

"The girl's name is Amanda, and she needs a mother," she carefully scolded him.

"Why Emily," Carter countered humorously, "are you trying to marry me off?"

"If it would put a bounce back in your step, then I'd be glad to go wife shopping for you." Emily gently put her hand on his arm and gave him a soft smile. "Your friend phoned again."

Carter smiled himself. "I'll return the call from the hospital."

Music filled the downstairs, but this time it was Faure's Pavane , the piece that reminded him sadly of his grandparents' passing. Maria must be cleaning in the library again, he thought. But a quick look found the room empty. As he turned around in the foyer, his ears focused on the ballroom. "I've asked Maria not to play that," he said out loud almost incredulously.

Emily followed him as he made his way to the ballroom where he found Amanda wearing one of Emily's oversized aprons under the vest he had discarded the day before by the fireplace. Her face sported exaggerated make-up: rosy cheeks, blue eye-lids and subtle pink lips. She was dancing to the music, flitting around like a ballerina.

"Leave her be, John," Emily quietly ordered him from behind. "She's a little girl, and little girls need fantasy. Go on, get to know her. She hasn't bitten yet." Emily turned to go back to her chores leaving Carter alone in the ballroom doorway.

It wasn't until she had twirled around the third time that Amanda opened her eyes and saw that she had an audience of one. "Isn't it pretty?"

Carter managed a reluctant smile and single nod as he leaned against the doorframe.

"Did you know that there is a form of dance in every culture? That's what my dad told me." Amanda scooted over to the small cd player on the piano bench and pressed a button, repeating Faure's piece. "Let's pretend that you are the clarinet - it's real strong. And I'll be the lady cello. Come on!" Grabbing Carter's hand, she drew him to the center of the nearly empty ballroom and began her dance, holding both of his hands. "You don't smell anymore."

"Thank you."

"And you look real handsome all dressed up."

"I'm not really dressed up. Just ready for work." The ballet part he wasn't so sure of, so he let Amanda do most of it herself, occasionally stepping it up to give her a twirl or spin.

"Don't you love how this sounds in here? It echoes. I can just imagine a party with all the ladies dressed up in ball gowns, and the men in tuxedos. Have you ever worn a tuxedo?"

"Mm hmm." Carter just let her take off - didn't want to interrupt her, though he couldn't quite take his eyes off of her in that vest. He closed his eyes for just a moment as they spun around holding hands, and in that moment he saw…

"My mom had a vest just like this. Where did you get it?"

"Someone in Africa gave it to me."

"That's cool. My favorite picture of my mom… she's wearing her vest and has her cameras…" Amanda stopped in the middle of the music as she spoke openly for the first time looking straight up into Carter's eyes, "… and she's got all these kids around her. She's holding a little boy on her lap, and hugging him…"

Without thinking, Carter reached down and scooped her up in his arms, spinning around and finishing her dance. "Your mother took Polaroid pictures of the children at the refugee camp, children who had never before seen themselves, even in a mirror. She gave them a piece of themselves that nobody else could have."

But she wasn't the one on her mom's lap.

"How about you keep the vest," he offered.

"You're all done using it?"

"All done."

The song was over, Carter put her back on her feet and adjusted his shirt. "I have to go in early today because Luka and I are having dinner with Sean."

"Oh."

It was apparent to Carter that, in her own way, Amanda was slightly disappointed. "But I'm only working half a shift. Starting tomorrow I go back on days. How about you and Emily plan a formal dinner in the dining room for tomorrow night." Carter leaned over and whispered, "and make sure she shows you the call bell on the underside of the table. You press that and people appear - get you anything you want."

Carter softly touched her cheek and smiled before turning to leave the room.

"Promise?" Amanda asked.

"Promise."

As Carter approached the front door, the bell rang. Amanda ran ahead of him and Emily who had dutifully exited the kitchen at the sound. Using both small hands to open the door, Amanda was met by a small statured business man wearing round eyeglasses, and a perpetual drop of sweat on the end of his nose.

"Hello… ah, little girl. Is Dr. Carter at home?"

Carter finally caught up with Amanda and quickly dismissed the looming security guard over the smaller man's shoulders. "Mr. Tyson. What brings you here?"

"Papers from the Foundation that need your signature." He handed Carter a stack of envelopes, none of which he was too eager to go over. "Among other business."

"Who are you?" Amanda inquisitively asked, interrupting the conversation.

"I am Mr. Norman Tyson, an associate of Dr. Carter's," he replied as he took out his handkerchief and cleaned his steamed up glasses. "Now be a good little girl and run along while we discuss grown-up matters."

"I've heard of you. My friend Sean says that you're an eejit and a bloody dry shite." Amanda wasn't eager to leave the two men alone. "What does that mean?"

Squatting down, Carter couldn't hide his amusement as he told Amanda to go with Emily into the kitchen. "I'll see you tomorrow," he chuckled, "Remember what I said."

"Who's that in the lounge with Kovac and Carter?" Kerry was peering in through the small window in the door.

"Sean Griffin." Susan had just come out of the lounge with a cup of coffee. "He's from the organization that they worked for in Africa."

"Are they going back?"

"I don't think so. He's in town for a couple days. They're just getting something to eat."

Laughter bellowed out into the ER with the door opening and closing as other staff members went in and out. The three men sat at the table eating a fine selection of barbecue from Carsons. Stories were told and re-told, pictures gone over and time generally caught up on.

"…an eejit?" Sean sputtered in hysterics. "She really said that?"

"Hi."

The men hadn't noticed Kerry's presence beside them until she spoke up. The laughing halted and all three looked at her hoping that she'd say what she had come in for, then leave post-haste.

"Just wanted to touch base with you two before I left," she said while looking over her glasses. "Luka, I need you to sign off on your time sheet, and I still have to speak with you, Carter."

Both doctors smiled politely and nodded.

"What do you have there?" she asked Carter as though trying too hard to be something other than… well… Kerry Weaver.

"An Irish phrase book Sean gave me." Carter looked down and tried with all his might, and definite lack of natural ability, to give her one sentence. "Go n-ithe an cat thú is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat."

Kerry smiled and nodded herself, polite yet tolerant of that which she couldn't possibly comprehend. "Okay. Well then, enjoy your dinner."

Once she made it back out of the lounge, Carter and Sean nearly fell out of their chairs laughing.

"I 'bout peed my britches," Sean got out all red faced.

"What?" Luka was itching to know.

Carter looked back down at the book and read out loud, "May the cat eat you, and may the cat be eaten by the devil."

"It's a curse," Sean added. "But the question is, does she deserve it?"

"I don't know," Luka answered, "are there any that work quicker?"

"She's a cute red headed lass, eh? Single?"

"Digging at the bottom, my friend," Carter gave him. "Aim higher. You deserve better."

"Sorry. Not single." Luka raised his eyebrows, clue-like. "She has a wife at home."

"Ach, no. Another carpet muncher." Sean slapped his head as he got to his feet. "I'm off. You two blackguards have to get to work. I am going to go get me some money at my room and find a pub to my liking. I've a throat on me that only a pint will cure." As the three got to their feet, Sean quickly embraced Luka. "You have a great vacation. You are looking awfully tired today - looks like you need to get away."

"I'm working a half shift tomorrow, noon to six." Carter said. "When do you leave?"

"I'm hopping on KLM 612 at five or so."

"Connects in Netherlands then Nairobi," Carter remembered. "Nice flight."

"I'll stop in with your Jeep and phone before I leave."

"About Amanda," Sean added before leaving the two doctors at the ambulance bay, "I'll do everything I can to find Bob. And I'll get her grandmother's information to you tomorrow before I leave."

"Hey," Luka smiled, "A big hug for Toomay and the kids. Even Maggie," he jested. "Take care of our camp."

"I will, my friend." Sean gave the taller Luka a firm two fisted handshake before finally trotting off down the street. "Enjoy yourself with your lady friend. Be safe."

Carter and Luka stood in the warmth of the late day spring sun peeking from behind some ominous clouds rolling in off the lake, watching their friend disappear around the corner.

"He's right," Carter said quietly to avoid other people milling around from hearing him, "you do look tired. Not so put together. You okay?"

"Haven't been sleeping well lately, I guess. I've got plenty of time to make up for it after today." Luka absent mindedly pulled at his scrub top he had thrown over the wrinkled t-shirt he found on top of his laundry pile that morning. It didn't do anything for the bags under his eyes, though. "You're looking dapper. Well rested, unlike me."

Carter pulled his hand out of his pocket and gave the two vials of meds a little shake to draw Luka's attention to them. "Following doctor's orders."

"Good." Luka gave Carter a pat on the back as they went back inside. "Good to see you're in control."

"Long day?"

"A domestic dispute at a family reunion steamrolled. Someone shot Grandma, now it's a full on gang war." Luka pointed to the board. "We've already had three GSW's, two stabbings and a beating by plumber's tools, all related. But it's been quiet since about four. Maybe we're out of the woods." Luka sighed as he spied the large stack of charts at the Admit desk and the just as portentous line of med students and residents standing behind them waiting to do rounds. "Time to wrap up this shift."

Luka finally finished rounds, then sped through the charts with Carter before clocking out and heading for the door.

"I am out of here," he declared to Carter as he put his coat on and walked through the bay doors.

Dusk was upon them as Carter caught up to Luka halfway to the street. "Walking?"

"Sam has my SUV. She's packing it up so we can get out of here early."

"Where are you going?" A stiff gust of wind pushed into them with the rumble of thunder in the distance. Carter looked up at the sky as rain began falling, scattered sprinkles at first, then a steady stream.

Luka shrugged and smiled. "Beats me. She's made it a surprise. But Artie knows."

"Artie? The …"

"Yeah."

Sirens in the distance came closer. Carter began walking backwards to give the ambulance room. "Have fun. Think of me!"

"Carter," Malik called from he doorway running to meet him in the rain, "Carter, multiple GSW coming in. ETA is now."

The ambulance roared in and came to an abrupt stop as the back door flew open.

"Multiple GSW just down the road," Doris yelled out. "Got a line started in the rig. Pushing in fluids as fast as he's losing blood."

The gurney was pulled out and wheels locked down. Blood was everywhere and Carter wasn't prepared. No gown, but Malik did give him a pair of gloves. As he looked at his hands while putting them on, he automatically began assessing the patient from the head down.

"LUKA!" Carter screamed in the direction Luka had walked in. "LUKA! Holy shit." He couldn't believe his eyes. "LUKA!"

By the time Luka had rushed back to the bay, they were going through the doors. "What is it? You need more hands?"

"It's Sean. He's been shot." Carter wasn't sure Luka heard him over the clap of thunder. "It's Sean!"