Return to Camelot
Part 6
Sue Ellen asked J.R. if he would drive John Ross back to Southfork. She didn't want John Ross driving while he was still upset after finding out about what had happened to Sue Ellen after her ruptured tubal pregnancy, and the surgery she had to save her life. J.R. was concerned about leaving Sue Ellen all alone, so soon after her surgery.
Sue Ellen said, "That's very sweet of you to be so concerned, Darlin', but a nurse is as close as the push of a button. I'll be fine, I promise."
J.R. agreed, and asked Sue Ellen is she'd like him to bring her some of her own nightgowns and a robe.
Sue Ellen winked at J.R., and said, "That would be wonderful, J.R. This hospital gown does absolutely nothin' for my figure."
J.R. laughed at Sue Ellen's comment. John Ross kissed his Mamma 'good-bye,' and asked her if it would be okay if he were to call her later on. Sue Ellen told John Ross that nothing would make her happier than to get a phone call from her son.
John Ross waited by the door, while J.R. kissed Sue Ellen 'good-bye.'
J.R. put his hand on John Ross' shoulder as they started to leave Sue Ellen's hospital room.
John Ross stopped, and turned around, saying, "I love you, Mamma."
Sue Ellen beamed at her son, and said, "I love you very much, Sweetheart. I'll talk to you soon."
J.R. drove John Ross back to Southfork in thunderous silence. John Ross stared out the passenger window of his sports car. He had longed for a brother or sister to share his life, and was saddened by the loss of what might have been his last chance for a sibling. His parents weren't getting any younger, and the decision they had made to not remarry troubled John Ross more than he realized.
J.R. turned on the radio, and instantly regretted his decision. The high-volume music emanating from the stereo speakers was deafening to J.R.
J.R. cursed, "Son-of-a-bitch!"
John Ross was shaken by his Father's angry reaction to the loud music, and turned to look at J.R.
John Ross cleared his throat, and said, "'Sorry about the music, Dad. I didn't mean to have it so loud. I didn't think you would be driving me back home."
J.R. reached out and ruffled John Ross hair with his right hand.
J.R. said, "I should be apologizing to you for a lot of things, John Ross. I should have made more of an effort to let you know what had happened to your Mamma, son."
John Ross asked, "You love Mom a lot, huh?"
J.R. pondered John Ross' question. No, the phrase 'a lot' would have been a disservice to describe how deeply J.R. loved Sue Ellen. As far as J.R. was concerned, there wasn't a single word in the English language that could adequately illustrate the intensity of the love he felt for Sue Ellen.
J.R. said, "Yes, I do, John Ross."
John Ross smiled and said, "I know Mamma loves you, too, Dad. You're all she ever talks about."
J.R. asked, "Oh? How's that?"
John Ross said, "All I've ever heard Mamma says is nice things about you. She even used to say how much she missed you when we lived in London."
J.R.'s morose mood started improving as he heard John Ross talk about the time John Ross and Sue Ellen had spent away from Southfork, and away from him. J.R. didn't like to ask John Ross questions about Sue Ellen. He knew how she despised it when she thought J.R. was manipulating John Ross, but J.R. was curious.
J.R. said, "Really? Your Mamma used to say nice things about me then, too, huh? That's a surprise."
John Ross shook his head from side to side, and said, "No, it's not. Not to me. You should have seen her Dad. She and Don never treated each other like you and Mamma did when you were together."
J.R. was intrigued, and encouraged John Ross to tell him more.
John Ross continued, "Don used to get mad at Mom, and tell her to stop acting like you weren't the rotten bastard he always thought you were."
J.R. asked, "Is that a fact? What would your Mamma say when Don said that?"
John Ross giggled, and said, "I'm not supposed to say what Mom would say to Don. It was kind of funny watching him cower when Mom would yell at him, though."
J.R. laughed heartily as he envisioned Sue Ellen towering over a terrified Don Lockwood, yelling at him at the top of her lungs, and calling him every name in the book. J.R. had often been on the receiving end of a number of Sue Ellen's tirades. J.R. mused, Hell hath no fury like Sue Ellen Ewing scorned.
Dr. Chamberlain stopped by Sue Ellen's hospital room, shortly after J.R. left to take John Ross back to Southfork.
Dr. Chamberlain asked, "How's my favorite patient feeling?"
Sue Ellen grinned, and said, "I'm feelin' much better, thank you. It's nice to be in a room that isn't freezin' cold, for a change."
Dr. Chamberlain laughed. He had heard dozens of patients complain to him about the chill they felt in the Intensive Care Unit. Dr. Chamberlain used to go into great detail in explaining that the reason for the cold temperature settings was to maintain a cool operating environment for the monitoring equipment in the patient rooms. Now, he would simply placate the patients and nod in agreement.
Dr. Chamberlain removed the dressing on Sue Ellen's incision, and attempted to clean the dried blood off of her skin sutures. He smiled when he had managed to remove most of the dried blood, and could finally see how well Sue Ellen was healing. He applied a new dressing to her incision, and covered her legs with the bed covers.
Sue Ellen kept her head turned to one side, and asked, "How does it look, Dr. Chamberlain?"
Dr. Chamberlain said, "You appear to be healing very nicely, Sue Ellen. The bruising isn't as obvious, and the inflammation seems to have gone down."
Sue Ellen nodded her head, and said, "That's good, isn't it?"
Dr. Chamberlain said, "That's great, Sue Ellen."
Dr. Chamberlain hesitated to continue, and then he asked, "How are you doing, emotionally?"
Sue Ellen said, "God, you have no idea. I've never really enjoyed roller coaster rides, and my emotions have been very much like a roller coaster. I think J.R. has also been going through the same kind of emotional upheaval."
Dr. Chamberlain said, "I'm not surprised. When a pregnancy terminates, even an ectopic pregnancy, you and your partner are likely to experience some of the same emotions as if you had carried to term, and lost the baby. You'll experience denial, anger, guilt, depression, and with time, acceptance."
Sue Ellen hoped that Dr. Chamberlain was right, that she and J.R., and even John Ross would reach the point where they could accept what had happened, and get on with their lives.
Sue Ellen thanked Dr. Chamberlain for the good news about how well she was healing. Dr. Chamberlain told Sue Ellen that he would stop by her room later on, to see if she needed anything.
Sue Ellen slowly climbed out of bed, after Dr. Chamberlain left her room. She pulled her IV pole with her, as she walked over to the window, and opened the curtains. Sue Ellen had a marvelous view of the fountain from the window of her hospital room. She watched the spray from the fountain as the afternoon breeze turned the water into a fine mist, as it sprayed over the surrounding landscape.
Sue Ellen traced her finger over the tinted, glass windowpane. She thought about how John Ross had reacted to the news of her ectopic pregnancy. She recalled how her son had trembled in her arms, and how no words were afforded to her to quiet his tears. She was glad that J.R. had been with them at the time. J.R. had indeed become her shelter in the storm.
"Damn it," Sue Ellen cursed aloud, as she turned away from the window, and walked back to her bed.
J.R. gently opened the door to Sue Ellen's hospital room. Sue Ellen was asleep, with her back to the door. J.R. crept into the room, and placed an enormous bouquet of red roses on a table next to the bed. He carried a giant, stuffed bear in his other hand. J.R. also carried a garment bag over his shoulder filled with nightgowns, and robes for Sue Ellen.
J.R. hung the garment bag inside the closet, and placed the giant teddy bear at the foot of Sue Ellen's bed. J.R. removed his cowboy boots, and sat down in a recliner on the other side of the room. J.R. leaned into the chair, and tipped it back, as far as it would recline. J.R. crossed his legs at the ankles and closed his eyes, quickly drifting off to sleep.
J.R. dreamt of a hill covered in bright, springtime flowers. In his dream, he saw a radiant Sue Ellen sitting on the hill, holding a baby in her arms. J.R. saw himself racing up the hill, but the closer he seemed to get to Sue Ellen and the baby, the further away they seemed. J.R. grew tired from running up the hill, and fell to his knees. Sue Ellen, and the baby in her arms, faded into darkness.
J.R. awoke from his disturbing dream in a cold sweat. He was disoriented as he looked around the hospital room trying to figure out where he was. J.R. rubbed his eyes with his hands, and stood up from the recliner.
J.R. walked around the room to the bathroom, and splashed cold water on his face. J.R. lifted his head, to dry his face, and glanced at his reflection in the mirror. He looked tired, and it seemed to him, that he had lost some weight.
Sue Ellen rolled over in her hospital bed, and called out to J.R.
Sue Ellen said, "J.R., are you alright?"
J.R. turned off the light in the bathroom as he walked back into Sue Ellen's room, and said, "Yeah, I'm fine, Honey. How are you feelin'?"
Sue Ellen said, "As well as can be expected, under the circumstances. Thank you for the beautiful roses. I can smell them from here. You are so thoughtful, Darlin'. Oh, and the big bear is simply adorable."
Sue Ellen paused, then continued, "J.R., will you come sit with me, please?"
J.R. smiled as he walked over to the bed. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and lifted his legs up on top of the mattress. J.R. leaned back on the bed, as Sue Ellen moved to his side. Sue Ellen put her head on J.R.'s shoulder, and kissed his neck.
Sue Ellen whispered, "I love you, J.R."
J.R. cupped Sue Ellen's chin in his hand, and lifted her head. He kissed Sue Ellen's lips. It was the most delicate, gentle kisses he had ever given anyone. Sue Ellen sighed as J.R. pulled away. Sue Ellen nuzzled her head into the soft skin on J.R.'s neck, and lifted her hand to his chest. J.R. reached up and held Sue Ellen's hand over his heart. J.R. hugged Sue Ellen as tightly to him as he dared, and kissed her temple.
J.R. closed his eyes, as he listened to the even sound of Sue Ellen's breathing. Sue Ellen no longer needed the assistance of a nasal cannula to deliver oxygen, but Dr. Chamberlain wanted to continue monitoring her heart rate, and she was still being fed intravenously.
J.R. touched the IV tubing on the hand he was holding against his chest. He delicately ran his finger over the plastic needle that had been inserted into a vein below the skin's surface on the back of Sue Ellen's hand.
J.R. carefully considered the trauma Sue Ellen's body had endured. He was grateful that she had survived the ordeal. Dr. Chamberlain seemed confident that her condition was improving, and her prognosis was excellent. J.R.'s eyes misted over as he tried to put his worst fears at bay…what would he and John Ross have done without Sue Ellen?
J.R. bitterly swore off his negative train of thought, as he pulled Sue Ellen tighter to his chest. He didn't care whether the nurses of the third floor Surgical Unit caught him in bed with Sue Ellen, or not. His only concern was Sue Ellen's care and comfort while she was hospitalized.
Sue Ellen awoke in J.R.'s arms. He was sleeping soundly – at last. He looked rested for the first time Sue Ellen had seen him since she awoke after her surgery. Sue Ellen cautiously slid out from underneath J.R.'s arm, and climbed out of bed.
Sue Ellen dragged her IV pole behind her, as she walked around the hospital room, smelling the flowers that had been delivered to her, and reading the cards from people extending their wishes for her speedy recovery. J.R. opened his eyes, and turned his head to see Sue Ellen standing in front of the flowers he brought to her the night before
Sue Ellen picked up a red envelope from the table, next to the bouquet of roses, and turned the envelope over. She inserted a fingernail under one edge of the seal, and opened the envelope. She pulled the card out of the envelope, and read the cover. It read: 'To My Love, My Life and My Future Wife'.
Sue Ellen lifted her hand to her mouth as she opened the card. The inscription from J.R. said, "I love you, Sue Ellen. I'm rarely at a loss for words, but my emotions are as jumbled as yours are right now, so I'm gonna let the quote speak for me. We have had the ride of a lifetime, haven't we? I just want you to know how much I love you, and that no matter what has happened, I will always, always hold you in my heart, until I can hold you in my arms. Yours, J.R."
Tears fell from Sue Ellen's eyes. She was deeply touched by what J.R. had written to her. She read the quote on the facing page of the card. It was a quote by Kenna Darling:
"Love is more than a journey, it's the ride of a lifetime."
J.R. stood behind Sue Ellen, while she finished reading the card. J.R. placed his hands on her shoulders, and pulled her to his chest. J.R. kissed Sue Ellen's neck, and gently put his arms around her. Sue Ellen leaned her head against J.R.'s chest, unleashing her emotions. J.R. held her until her tears stopped. Sue Ellen turned around, and lifted her arms to J.R.'s shoulders.
Sue Ellen looked into J.R.'s eyes, and said, "We'll get through this, J.R., and we can get through anything, as long as we're together."
J.R. lowered his head to Sue Ellen's lips, and kissed her, whispering her name into her mouth…