Return to Camelot

Part 9

Dr. Aaron Chamberlain knocked on the door of room three twenty-two. He waited for Sue Ellen or J.R. to invite him in. He wanted to see how Sue Ellen was feeling, and to check her blood oxygen level. Dr. Chamberlain waited outside the door, but he didn't hear a response. He slowly opened the door, and peered into the room. Sue Ellen and J.R. were asleep on the bed.

Dr. Chamberlain stepped back, to leave the room, but the 'creaking' sound from the door woke J.R.

Dr. Chamberlain said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Ewing. I had no idea you were asleep. I'll come back later on, when Sue Ellen is awake."

J.R. said, "No, it's no problem at all, doctor. I was wonderin' if we could talk, in private?"

Dr. Chamberlain said, "Of course, Mr. Ewing. We can go to my office, if you'd like?"

J.R. followed Dr. Chamberlain to his office in the professional building, next to the hospital. J.R. wanted to ask the doctor if there was anything that the doctor could tell him that would help him and Sue Ellen deal with their feelings of loss. He also wanted advice about how he could deal with his own feelings of guilt, and emptiness.

Dr. Chamberlain invited J.R. to sit in his consultation room. J.R. sat down on the cream-colored couch. He leaned forward, and rested his hands on his knees.

Dr. Chamberlain, asked, "What can I do for you, Mr. Ewing?"

J.R. replied, "Well, you can start by callin' me 'J.R.'"

Dr. Chamberlain laughed, and said, "Fine, J.R. what can I do for you?"

J.R. said, "I'm havin' a hard time dealin' with some of my emotions. I was hopin' you had some advice that would help me deal with some of my feelings?"

Dr. Chamberlain leaned back against his chair, and said, "I'm glad you've come to me with this, J.R. I wanted to talk to you and your wife about your loss, but I wasn't quiet sure how to approach you with the subject."

J.R. asked, "Is it normal to feel like I've let Sue Ellen down? I feel like a colossal failure. She swears up and down that she doesn't blame me. She doesn't have to blame me. I blame myself enough for both of us."

Dr. Chamberlain said, "How you feel is probably very normal for you, J.R. I want you to know that what happened with Sue Ellen's pregnancy isn't anyone's fault. Under the circumstances, with an ectopic pregnancy; where the embryo started to develop inside the Fallopian tube . . . given that type of pregnancy, I'm afraid there wouldn't have been anything that could have been done to prevent the loss of your baby."

J.R. said, "Hearin' you say that helps, but it doesn't do much to make me feel better. What can I do to help Sue Ellen?"

Dr. Chamberlain said, "I'm afraid that Sue Ellen might be struggling with her emotions for quite awhile, J.R. She 'll have the human chorionic gonadotrophic hormone in her system for up to three months."

J.R. asked, "Could you explain that in English, Doc?"

Dr. Chamberlain chuckled, and said, "I'm sorry, J.R., when a woman becomes pregnant, her body starts producing the hormone hCG to maintain the embryo."

Dr. Chamberlain continued, "I will want to see Sue Ellen regularly after she's released, to make sure her hCG levels return to zero. This may take up to 12 weeks. An elevated hCG could mean that some ectopic tissue was missed. This tissue may have to be removed using Methotrexate, or additional surgery."

J.R. asked, "Can I do anything to help Sue Ellen in the meantime? I can't bear it to see her cryin' one minute, then happy the next."

Dr. Chamberlain sighed and said, "J.R., the best advice I could give both you and your wife is to treat each other with kindness, tenderness, empathy and as much love as you can possibly give to each other. I would caution both of you that if you think your grief is turning into depression, under no circumstances should either of you wait to seek professional help."

J.R. nodded his head, understanding what the doctor had told him. J.R. looked at the floor of the consultation room, as he contemplated the doctor's advice.

J.R. stood up from the couch, and extended his hand to thank the doctor.

Dr. Chamberlain shook J.R.'s hand, and said, "I hope that helps you both, J.R.? If I can be of any more assistance, let me know?"

J.R. thanked Dr. Chamberlain before leaving the consultation room. J.R. sluggishly walked back to Sue Ellen's room. He stopped outside of the door, and put on a brave face for Sue Ellen.

J.R. had upset Sue Ellen enough when he walked out of the room that morning. Now his only concern was for him and Sue Ellen to come to terms with the loss of their unborn child, and move forward with their lives.

J.R. was relieved to find Sue Ellen sleeping when he opened the door. She was lying on her side, holding her pillow. J.R. carefully studied Sue Ellen. He was amazed at how beautiful he thought she looked lying on the bed, with her blond hair strewn about her head like an angelic halo. J.R. picked up the garment bag he had thrown into the recliner, and placed it inside the closet.

J.R. closed the closet door, and walked back to the recliner. He pushed against the arms of the chair, tilting the recliner back against the wall, as he leaned into the chair. J.R. folded his arms across his chest, and closed his eyes. He was instantly greeted with much needed sleep.

Hours later, J.R. awoke to find Sue Ellen kneeling at his feet with her hands on his knees, and her head in his lap.

J.R. wondered if Sue Ellen had put the recliner in its upright position, or if it had moved on its own? J.R. rubbed at his neck. His neck felt stiff and sore from the awkward position he had been sleeping in. Sue Ellen felt J.R. move, and lazily opened her eyes. She lifted her head, and was met with J.R.'s piercing blue gaze, and his warm smile.

J.R. stood up from the chair, and cautiously pulled Sue Ellen off of the floor. J.R. opened his arms to Sue Ellen, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Sue Ellen smiled at J.R., as he lightly kissed her forehead.

Sue Ellen asked, "How long have you been sleepin' in that chair, J.R.?"

J.R. glanced at the chair, and said, "I'm not sure, Honey. Dr. Chamberlain stopped by earlier, and I followed him to his office so I could talk to him in private."

Sue Ellen was intrigued, and asked, "What did you talk to him about?"

J.R.'s voice was low, as he said, "I wanted to ask him a few questions about you and me, and what, if anything, could have been done to save the baby."

Sue Ellen softly asked, "What did he say?"

J.R. replied, "Dr. Chamberlain said that no one was to blame for losin' the baby. Ectopic pregnancies typically end with the loss of the unborn baby. So, I don't want to hear any more talk about you blamin' yourself, Sue Ellen."

Sue Ellen tried to pull away from J.R. but he wouldn't let her leave.

J.R. said, "Come on, now, Sugar. You were the one who said we needed to be open and honest with each other, no matter what. I'll be damned if I'm gonna let you shut me out now."

Sue Ellen grew defensive, and said, "I'm not shuttin' you out, J.R. My God, I don't even know how to deal with the thoughts racin' through my mind, let alone share them with you. I feel so . . . "

J.R. finished her sentence, "Numb?"

Sue Ellen lifted her head and said, "Numb, that's exactly the word I would use to describe the way I feel."

J.R. said, "Oh, Darlin'. You're not alone. Do you know where Bobby found me, earlier?"

Sue Ellen shook her head, 'no.'

J.R. said, "I was in the hospital chapel."

Sue Ellen's eyes widened with surprise as J.R. continued, "Bobby told me that he had offered to come and find me, 'cause he said that you were worried about me."

Sue Ellen said, "Yes . . . yes, I was. I didn't know where you went, or what you might do."

J.R. said, "Why don't you put on your robe, and I'll get you a pair of slippers from one of the nurses, and we'll go for a walk."

Sue Ellen dropped her hands to her gown and pulled it out at her sides, saying "I can't go walkin' around this hospital dressed like this."

J.R. laughed and asked, "Why not? You walked down the hallway in ICU wearin' a hell of a lot less."

Sue Ellen smiled, as she shook her head at J.R, saying "You never stop, do you?"

J.R. reached for Sue Ellen's hand, and said, "I'll never stop lovin' you, if that's what you mean?"

Sue Ellen wrapped her robe around her torso, and tied the sash around her waist, while she waited for J.R. to return with a pair of slipper socks. J.R. walked back into the room, and knelt in front of her feet. Sue Ellen placed her hand on J.R.'s shoulders and lifted her legs, one at a time, so J.R. could put the booties on her feet.

Sue Ellen glanced at the fuzzy blue booties, and said, "Well, don't I look stylish in these things?"

J.R. chuckled and said, "Come on Miss Texas, let's go for a walk."

J.R. and Sue Ellen leisurely walked through the hallways of the hospital. J.R. didn't want to go too far away from Sue Ellen's room, in case she grew tired. Sue Ellen insisted on getting out of her room, for a while, at least. She was getting cabin fever, and it felt good to be able to stretch her legs. Sue Ellen jokingly reminded J.R. where they were, wheelchairs were readily available if she grew too tired to walk back to her room.

J.R. held Sue Ellen's hand as they continued walking through the halls of the hospital. Sue Ellen noticed an arrow pointing to the direction of the nursery. Sue Ellen turned her head away from the sign. She couldn't bear the thought of seeing newborn babies so soon after finding out about the loss of their baby. J.R. noticed the sign, too, but he encouraged Sue Ellen to walk with him down another hallway.

Sue Ellen stifled a yawn, and asked, "What time is it, J.R.?"

J.R. glanced at his wristwatch and gasped, "Hell, it's ten o'clock. We'd better get you back to your room, before they send out a search party."

Sue Ellen lifted her head, and smiled at J.R.

J.R. said, "I'm gonna grab a wheelchair to take you back to you room, all right?"

Sue Ellen was grateful for J.R.'s thoughtful offer to get her a wheelchair. She felt tired from their walk, and her breathing was heavier than normal. J.R. lifted the footrest on the wheelchair to allow Sue Ellen to sit down. Sue Ellen thanked J.R. for being so helpful, as she sat down in the wheelchair. J.R. lowered the footrests, and lifted her feet onto the metal foot plates. Sue Ellen's gown rode up, as she sat on the wheelchair, exposing her legs. J.R. caught his breath as he glimpsed her exposed skin.

Sue Ellen apologized for embarrassing J.R.

J.R. huskily said, "Oh, Honey, please, don't apologize for bein' so incredibly beautiful. You can't help how attracted I am to you. I'll just have to work harder on keepin' these dirty thoughts I've been havin' about you out of my head."

J.R. rested his hand on Sue Ellen's knee, as Sue Ellen cupped J.R.'s chin in her hand. Sue Ellen leaned forward and placed a feathery kiss on J.R's lips. J.R tried, in vain, not to respond to Sue Ellen's unintentionally intimate kiss. J.R. lifted his hands to Sue Ellen's shoulders, as he deepened her kiss.

Sue Ellen's hazel eyes appeared dark green when J.R. pulled away from her. She lifted her hand to her mouth, touching her lips where J.R.'s mouth had traveled. Her lips were warm from the intensely seductive pressure of his mouth on hers. Sue Ellen was breathing much heavier than she had been, and it drew a deliciously sensual smile from J.R.

J.R. stood up from the floor, and cleared his throat. Sue Ellen's eyes followed J.R as he moved behind the wheelchair. J.R. placed his hands on the handles of the wheelchair, and leaned forward, to gently kiss Sue Ellen's neck. Sue Ellen lifted her hand to the top of J.R.'s head, as she turned her head to give J.R. better access.

J.R. pulled his head away from Sue Ellen's neck. Sue Ellen stared at J.R. through half-closed eyes.

J.R. whispered, "God, I love you, Sue Ellen."

Sue Ellen's voice was deep with passion from J.R.'s kisses, as she huskily said, "I love you so much, J.R. I'm glad you had a chance to talk with Dr. Chamberlain."

J.R. walked from behind the wheelchair, and knelt back down on the floor in front of Sue Ellen.

J.R. brushed Sue Ellen's hair out of her eyes, and touched her lips with his fingertip. Sue Ellen kissed at his finger. J.R.'s eyes held Sue Ellen's gaze. She watched his every move, unaware that her eyes were intently focused on his mouth. God, his lips were so seductive to her, just watching his mouth . . .

Sue Ellen sighed heavily, as she said "Uh . . . I think we'd better go back to my room, now, J.R."

J.R. slid his hand down Sue Ellen's leg, over her knee, and down her calf muscle, before he stood up from the ground. The touch of J.R.'s hand on Sue Ellen's leg, sent shivers coursing through her, making her realize how much she wanted J.R. She bit at her lower lip, as J.R. held her intense gaze.

J.R. smiled at Sue Ellen. He was secretly thrilled to discover that his simple touch could move her to such passionate heights. J.R. walked behind the wheelchair, and started pushing Sue Ellen back toward the elevators to take her back to her hospital room . . .