The song 'I'll Stand By You' belongs to the Pretenders and Chrissie Hyde not me. All characters are property of the marvellous JK Rowling and the 'Harry Potter' Series. Bit's in bold are flashbacks and if italics then they are song lyrics to one of the most beautiful songs ever. Please if you enjoy leave a review and also if you don't enjoy leave feedback. Constructive criticism only helps to improve. By the way contains mild suggestion of Bella/Sirius. If you don't like the idea of that then don't read although it is only a tame suggestion.
Oh, why you look so sad?
Sirius sighed as he looked at her bent head, her ebony black curls covering most of her face. He knew why she was staring at the floor like that, he wanted so much to envelope her in a loving hug, stroke her mass of black shiny hair and whisper in her ear that everything would be okay, everything would be fine. He doubted it would but he needed to reassure her at this very moment. Yet he couldn't for in everyone else's eyes the pair hated each other with a passion.
Tears are in your eyes
He saw a single tear drop down onto the stone corridor and heard a soft sniff, seemingly no-one else waiting to enter the classroom heard it but he did and he tried to meet dark eyes, eyes that twinkled with mischief when they were younger, anger more often than not nowadays and eyes that sparkled when she was happy. She was still looking down but he knew that under the curls that had fallen in front of her pretty face her eyes were filled with tears.
Come on and come to me now
Why wouldn't she talk to him? Okay they couldn't whilst their school-friends were gathered around but all she needed to do was send him a message in some form and he'd have found a way to get to her. After all he knew every passage way in the castle and would have found somewhere they could have gone to speak. Narcissa would have been no help to Bella no comfort at all. The seventh year prefect would have simply berated her younger sister for having the indecency to reveal feelings, after all a Black prided him/herself on their ability to not display weakness of any kind.
Don't be ashamed to cry
He stared over at her as Rabastan Lestrange glared back at him. Sirius shrugged he couldn't help it if he was concerned for his cousin, after all there was once a time when they'd been inseparable. Their childhood years had been spent in the company of one another for they were the same age; well Sirius was a week younger than Bella not that it mattered. They'd climb trees and build dens and generally annoy the hell out of their siblings, especially Narcissa who said that it was unladylike for Bella to be playing such boisterous games.
Let me see you through
He'd always had some strange ability to cheer her up regardless of the actual problem. When she'd fallen from the tree house at the age of seven and banged her head he'd hugged her and kissed her softly on her head before promising he'd play whatever she wanted for the whole afternoon. They shared an understanding so deep that they could feel what the other was feeling and he knew at this very moment Bella's heart was broken. And all he could do was sit listening to the Transfiguration lesson and glance at her every so often.
'cause I've seen the dark side too
He had every bit of sympathy for her for he knew in a way how she felt. He knew the depths of despair she would be in, the effort she was putting into trying to act braver than she was actually feeling. It was hard been a Black at times there was so much expectation on your young shoulders to uphold the family traditions values regardless as how highly inappropriate and out-dated some of them were. He looked up surprised to see Professor Maddox close his book and stand up. Had the lesson ended already? Sirius closed his book and watched as she left following the group of Slytherins back to their common room.
When the night falls on you
Bella's glassy eye's stared up at the stars in the night sky and she let out a soft sigh running her hand through her black tangles. Why did Andie leave her? She always thought Andromeda would be there no matter what to stick up for her when Narcissa was scolding, to give her a hug when Sirius had pushed her in the nettles after she beat him at Wizarding chess. This wasn't how it was meant to be at all. If anyone should leave her she wanted it to have been Narcissa. For Narcissa was cruel to her, teased her and got her into all kinds of trouble. Narcissa had always hated her for been born and taking place as the youngest. She could still remember Cissa's taunts when they were little.
"You know Bella mum and dad didn't even want you!" She said spitefully. 12 year old Andromeda glared at Narcissa as Bellatrix's lip began to tremble. "Cissa don't she's only a baby."
"Typical. As per usual you stick up for her. I don't know why you bother look at her. She's so pathetic." Narcissa smirked as she saw tears begin to well in Bella's huge hazel eyes. Andromeda shook her head at 8 year old Narcissa and gently bent down to her youngest sister's level. "Hey Bella sweetie ignore her. She's just jealous. Don't cry darling." Andromeda said wiping Bella's eyes softly with her sleeve. "Come on I'll read you a story." She said taking Bella's hand and leading her to her room away from Narcissa who sat sulking on her bed.
You don't know what to do
Bella lay down on the four poster bed and buried her head in her hands; her whole body trembling as she finally allowed the sobs, that she had been working so hard to prevent from escaping all day long to prevent, escape. "Bellatrix are you alright?" Violet Westwood asked softly. Bellatrix whispered a tearful 'yes' which no-one dared to contradict for Bella had a red-hot temper if anyone ever dared to question her further. "Okay." Violet nodded before pulling her blanket up to cover her against the cold night. Bella lay silently for what seemed like hours until she was fairly certain that the rest of the dorm was asleep and she sat up. Pulling her black robe from the chair next to her bed she pulled it on and softly so not to wake anyone up she tip-toed out of the room.
Nothing you confess
She made her way silently along the now empty corridors listening intensely in case any teachers should be making their way down the deserted corridor. Her dark head was bent slightly allowing her mass of black curls to mask her face not that it mattered now. "Bella!" A voice whispered softly causing her to look around wildly, her eyes wide with fear, for she could not see anyone around. "Bella!" The voice said again causing Bella to whip her head around her black hair whipping out. "Ow! Thanks Belle." The mystery voice said.
"Siri?" Bella said uncertainly for Sirius had been the only one to ever call her Belle. She felt a soft invisible kiss on her pale cheek and turned to see her cousin stood looking at her sadly. "I heard about Andie, Bella. I'm so sorry!"
"No you aren't, you hate me."
"You really believe that do you?" He said looking at her with a raised eyebrow. She shook her head a little and sighed.
"No I don't it's just Cissa says you do and I don't know what to think half the time."
"Oh Bella I don't hate you it's just this Black crap that I hate. I still love you Bella always and forever remember."
"But I'm a Black I stand for everything you loathe."
Could make me love you less
"True but I don't think you truly believe all the nonsense they feed you. I've seen you look thoroughly bored at the Slytherin table as Lucius chatters away. I know you're not as bad as you make out you are."
"How do you know?" Bella asked questioningly.
"Because you don't wear the same smile I know you possess when you're truly passionate about something. When you smile now something's missing, the sparkle in your eyes. You pretend you're passionate to impress or perhaps for other reasons." Sirius said looking at Bellatrix who had shaken her head as he suggested she was trying to impress the group of Slytherins she sat with most of the time. "I'm not trying to impress them Sirius. I don't want to impress them. I'm scared of them especially Lucius he scares me so much." Bella said her little lip trembling as she spoke. Sirius embraced her softly as she silently sobbed on his shoulder.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad
Sirius led Bellatrix outside under the Invisibility Cloak and they sat down on a bench her nestled into his shoulder. "Bella why does Lucius scare you?"
"He…he…." Bella started but bit her lip knowing how Sirius would react if she told him what Lucius had tried to do.
"If he's touched a hair on your head I'll flatten him. Just because I haven't used an unforgivable curse before it doesn't mean I don't know how to." Sirius said stroking a long strand of dark hair from Bella's face out of her eyes.
"Sirius you can't. Please don't do anything stupid. I don't know why you care about me anyway. I heard you in the corridor you know with your friends. I heard what you called me." She sighed looking as though she was about to burst into another fit of tears.
"I never mean it Belle. I just do it because I dunno."
"Because you're a Gryffindor and I'm a Slytherin."
"Yeah I guess. I'm sorry Belle I don't mean it honestly."
Don't hold it all inside
"Yeah you do. And I mean it when I taunt you. We both know we say it and mean it but if you're like me you regret it almost instantly." Bella said softly lacing her fingers through his.
"Yeah it's like when we were children and we had our fights. Do you remember?"
"Remember? Why it's almost as if it was only yesterday." Bella replied smiling through her teary eyes.
"I hate you!" Bella spat venomously as her doll lay in pieces on the floor.
"Feelings mutual!" Sirius shot back holding his wand merely inches from her. She whipped her wand from her robes and was in the middle of a hex when Sirius beat her to it and she fell awkwardly. "Avgerinos Expellant!" Bella said softly jerking her wand causing an amber shot to expel from her wand hitting Sirius square in the chest. "Opined Dystopia" He yelled pointing at Bella as a lime coloured hex shot towards Bella. "STOP IT!" A voice yelled causing the two eight year olds to freeze. Fifteen year old Andromeda frowned as the two began to blame each other for the fight. "She started it!" Sirius stated as Bella stated the contrary.
"Both of you apologise to each other now. I don't know what's wrong with the pair of you." Andromeda said waving her wand and repairing Bella's china doll which had been a birthday present from her cousins Sirius and Regulus. Sirius looked at Bella who was looking down at the floor. "Sorry Belle." He said apologetically.
"Sorry Sirius." She said stiffly.
"Can I trust you two alone or do I have to sit with you?" Andromeda asked stroking each Black head soothingly. She often saw herself as mother to this mischievous pair eager to keep Bella away from Cissa's taunts and Sirius safe from his over-bearing hag of a mother. "We shan't fight Andie promise." Bella said smiling innocently. Sirius took her hand in unity and looked up at Andie. "We won't fight promise." Andie smiled and kissed the top of the two dark heads before departing the room.
Come on and talk to me now
"I miss her already. Cissa and mother said I'm not to mention her name again or they'll hex me into next century." Bella sighed.
"Well you're welcome to talk to me about her if you wish. I have no such issues about conversing about your sister."
"Thanks Sirius."
"Can you not owl Andromeda in secret I'll let you use my owl if you want."
"I wish I could but Cissa finds out things she'll probably find out about this somehow god I hate her so much sometimes."
"Well Bella, Cissa always was a cold-hearted wench." Sirius said recalling what Cissa had said to Bella in their childhood years.
Hey, what you got to hide?
Bella let out a high-pitched laugh and Sirius felt his heart jump when he heard it. Her laugh had always made him feel helpless and like putty in her hands. "Well Sirius we may not agree on a lot of things but we found two tonight."
"Which are?"
"Well firstly we're going to miss Andromeda like crazy and secondly the lovely Narcissa isn't quite as lovely as she'd have everyone believe."
"I think we found out too that we don't hate each other as much as we let on."
"True Sirius. I don't truly believe I could ever hate you." Bella said softly.
"You sound as if you want to hate me!" Sirius said sadly and mildly taken aback. He thought he was building bridges with Bellatrix and it seemed as if everything had been going alright up until now. "Sirius I don't want to hate you but I have to try."
"Why?" Sirius asked outraged at his cousin's statement.
"Because he says I have to. You apparently are my weakness."
"Who says that?" Sirius asked looking oddly at Bella as she slowly pulled up the left sleeve of her robe revealing an all too familiar mark.
I get angry too
"You stupid girl!" Sirius yelled pushing Bella away from his embrace.
"I…I didn't…didn't want to." Bella sobbed as she nestled her tear-stained face into her hands. Her shoulders heaved as she let out staggered sobs. Sirius started to get up and was in the process of leaving her when he thought better of it and he sat back down next to his cousin. "What do you mean Belle? Did someone force you?"
"Yes…no…kinda." Bella sighed looking up at Sirius.
"What do you mean said if I didn't he…he wouldn't get engaged to me"
"And you did it? Surely if ever there was a reason not to join then that was it!" Sirius said. Bella rolled her eyes dramatically and tugged at a stray green strand of wool on her Slytherin scarf. "You're alright Sirius you can make friends easy enough. I can't, as much as I loathe that lot who I hang around with they're all I have. I couldn't bare to be alone and without them I would be."
"You could hang around with me." Sirius said softly. Bella looked up wishing she could but knowing deep down she couldn't. "No I couldn't. Your friends would tolerate me but not like me and you…well you'd end up hating me for upsetting the groups' dynamics. I'm a Slytherin and I'd be disowned for hanging around with you."
"I guess but what would you be disowned from? Lucius a vain, conceited prat; Rudolphus aka Lucius lap-dog; Severus a greasy little cling-on and Narcissa who is the vainest and dullest person I've ever met. She's not even that good-looking. I happen to know that out of you, Meda and Cissa my friends rate you and Andie higher than Cissa."
"Really?"
"Yes really. Frank thinks you're captivating and Remus would date you if you weren't a Slytherin. James said Andie but she has red hair and I think her resemblance to Lily might mean she's his favourite. Fabien likes Andie too and there was only Peter who said Narcissa was his favourite."
"Who's your favourite?" Bella asked her curiosity getting the better of her. Sirius shuffled uncomfortably under her gaze and felt himself blush as he whispered quietly. "You Belle you're my favourite."
"Why?" Bella asked, ever since they'd come to Hogwarts she'd been under the impression that Sirius hated her.
Well I'm a lot like you
"Well lots of reasons I guess. You and I we were inseparable when we were little. I haven't forgotten any of it as much as I wish I could at times."
"I always figured Andie was your favourite." Bella said softly as the wind blew her long curls from her face.
"Oh I love Andie don't get me wrong but you my little Belle were my partner in crime, my soul-mate, the girl I shared my first kiss with."
"Siri don't"
"Don't what?"
"Don't try and get the old Bella back. I'm not her anymore I'm a Death Eater and no matter what I want I can't b friends with you."
"Belle I know you and you don't believe all that crap about pure-bloods not really. You could be a spy, you'd be fantastic remember playing spies Belle? Do you remember?"
"Siri we're fifteen now and this isn't a game anymore the stakes are high and we only get one choice."
"And if it's the wrong one."
"It isn't."
When you're standing at the crossroads
Sirius tipped her chin up and gazed deeply into the Hazel pools. "Do you truly believe that Bella?"
"Yes, yes I do."
"Then you're stupider than I thought." Sirius said frowning.
"Thanks." Bella retorted sarcastically.
"Seriously Bella where's your fight gone. You're strong I know you are. Fight it Belle please for me."
"I'm not strong anymore Siri."
"Why what went wrong what happened to your spirit?"
"I lost it Siri."
"Why? When?"
"When we got sorted." Bella said sadly gazing down.
Bella sat next to her older sister Narcissa at the Slytherin table and glanced eagerly to the sorting hat which was been held by Professor Naburn as Sirius made his way to the stool. He winked at Bella knowing he'd soon join her in Slytherin. They had already promised to be each other's partner in any class that required one and Sirius already had numerous pranks to play on Narcissa which he knew Bella would delight in partaking in. Placing the hat on the wild mop of black hair Professor Naburn knew this child would be following his cousin to the Slytherin table and so was a little taken aback when a moment or so later the hat yelled out "Gryffindor" The boy looked apologetic as he made his way to the table laden with red and gold décor. Meanwhile the little girl who'd had her sorting moments before bit her lip hard and clasped her eyes tight shut. No-one was going to see her cry.
And don't know which path to choose
"Oh Belle. All this time you've been getting more involved with those slimeballs and it's my entire fault. I shouldn't have abandoned you."
"I don't blame you Sirius. You have new friends."
"Yeah but I shouldn't have let go of my best one so easily."
"I thought James Potter was your best friend." Bella said with an air of disdain apparent in her voice.
"Yes well it's not the same and anyway we don't really have best friends in our group. And for your information you'll always be my bestest friend."
"Even now?"
"Even now Bella when you do stupid things. Why don't you go to someone here at school a professor and tell him or her?"
"Because Siri I'm not you. You're brave you stand up for what you believe in. I don't. I'm a wimp."
"Bellatrix Madeline Black you are not a wimp. You can stand up for yourself I know you can."
"Not against him." She said looking scared at the thought of whoever she meant by him.
"Him?" Sirius asked knowing who she meant before the words even left her lips.
"The dar...dark lord." Bella whispered as though she were afraid that if she said his name any louder he'd appear in front of them. Sirius sighed and tenderly brushed a strand of black hair behind her ear. "I'd protect you Belle. I would."
"I know but Siri you're 15 and he…he's the most powerful wizard ever."
"Belle please."
"No Siri don't try to change my mind for me. I've decided."
Let me come along
"Well let me join too. You and I Belle like we always were. And then you don't have to marry that Rudolphus brute. I see how he stares at you as though you're an object not a person, a person who deserves love and happiness. I could give you that." Sirius babbled. She smiled tearful and shook her head softly. "No Sirius I won't let you do that. My life is in my own hands but I refuse to put you n danger. If I turn against the Dark Lord my life shall be over I know it and I refuse to bring you into the equation. He'll only use you against me."
"Belle please."
"Come off it Siri. You stand for everything he hates."
"I can change Belle."
"Siri I don't want you to." Bella said softly snuggling into his shoulder. He sighed softly and gently kissed her silky hair.
'cause even if you're wrong
"Siri I'm sorry." Bella said after they'd sat in silence for what seemed like hours, silently enjoying one another's company. "I know Belle. I just wish I'd been able to stop you getting in so deep."
"It isn't your fault Siri I told you before."
"Well it feels like it." Sirius said offering her his arm as she stood up. She gratefully accepted it and soon the pair were heading back to their respected dorms. Stopping outside the Slytherin common room Sirius let his pretty cousin off his arm and bade her goodnight. Heading off in the direction of his own dorm he stopped as he heard her call his name. "What Belle?" he asked turning to face her.
"I forgot to say thank-you for listening." Bella said as she lightly brushed his soft lips with her own. His hand ran through her tangles and hers wrapped round his neck as the pair enjoyed the moment safe in each other's arms. Their lips finally parted and he looked down at his cousin. "You never used to thank me like that!" He said winking mischievously at her. She giggled and set off back to her own dorm.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
"Bella where were you last night. Violet says you left the dorm and then I find my own boyfriend found you wandering around the common room at 3am! What the hell do you think you're doing?" Narcissa said as she reprimanded her younger sister.
I was meeting someone." Bella said knowing it would be a thousand times worse if Narcissa found out she'd been lying.
"Who?"
"Sirius."
"Bella! I'll owl mother. You're not to talk to him remember."
"But…"
"No but's. He's a traitor and you'll remember that Bella."
"But Cissa please he's our cousin."
"Bella we do not associate ourselves with him or that scourge of an elder sister and if you persist to do so then I will have to inform our parents." Bella sighed but nodded obediently.
"Okay Cissa." She replied mournfully staring down at the cold floor of the Slytherin seventh year dorm where her sister had dragged her. "I advise you Bella to say goodbye to Sirius for good. He will only bring you down and the dark lord will not be pleased."
"Okay Narcissa. I'll say goodbye." Bella said softly leaving the room and heading to her own dorm the bitter sting of tears in the corner of her eyes.
You're feeling all alone
Sirius glanced down at the parchment Remus thrust in front of him. It was tied with a black ribbon and he knew from the writing whom the sender was. Undoing the ribbon he unrolled the parchment and slowly read the contents of the short note.
My Dearest Sirius,
It is with deep regret that this will be the last letter I can ever send you. Narcissa found out about our meeting and she says I can't speak with you any longer. I wish so much that I could but it's for both yours and my best interests that we don't. Take care Sirius and enjoy life. Find love and be happy but promise me that sometimes you'll look back and remember the fun times we shared and not think so ill of your little Belle.
Adios Cousin.
Bella xxx
Sirius read the note and ran a hand through his bedraggled hair as he threw the note down. "I take it that was her goodbye?" Remus said sadly placing a hand on his friends shoulder and rubbing softly. Sirius nodded staring deep into the burning embers of the glowing fire. A whole childhood gone, a true friendship lost and the woman he'd always loved with all his heart in the arms of another man all because of the choices they'd made. Bella meanwhile stared sorrowfully out of the dorm window. Everyone else was in the Common room laughing jovially but she couldn't, not today at least. She turned sadly and was about to make her way to bed when she stopped as a Snowy Owl flew through the dorm window and perched on the table next to her bed. In its claws it held a letter.
You won't be on your own
Bella undid the letter and opened it to reveal a black rose and a scrap of parchment.
My little Belle,
I received your letter and it is with a bitter sadness that I agree and reply in sending you my sincerest goodbye. I don't want to let you go Bella but I understand that I must. Remember Bella that if you ever want to leave the DE I will always be willing to help you. Take care my Bella and don't let anyone ever hurt you. As for remembering you with fondness I know I always shall for you Belle were my one true love but as the saying goes,"It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."
Take care my Belle.
Siri xxx
She blinked back the few tears that were gathering and gently folded the parchment up tucking it in her bedside drawer for she knew that that was the last contact she would ever have with Sirius now. Laying her dark head on the pillow she whispered 'Goodbye Sirius' before falling fast asleep.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you