Once upon a time, there was a man and a woman. One day the man turned to his wife and said, "Hey, you know what would be really funny to put in your fanfiction?" He then proceeded to recount an absurd scenario featuring a certain shoujo anime to which his wife replied along the lines of "Are you kidding? That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. I will never put something like that in my fanfiction."

But luck was on the man's side, and the woman's muse had found this suggestion to be very interesting indeed. For the next couple of days, this muse came and whispered snippets of story in the woman's ear until one day, the woman grew very excited and started writing.

Alas, the ending was not what the woman had envisioned. "There is no way Robin would do something like that," she protested. But the muse assured her that this was the true ending, and the woman had much faith in this muse.

So here's the deal. If you like this story, I will thank my muse and continue to seek her guidance. If, on the other hand, you think it is lame or unfunny, I will fire her. But before doing so, I will beat her to a bloody pulp screaming, "See! I told you that wasn't funny!"

The following parody is based on the series WHR owned by Sunrise and Bandai.

"Hey, what's this?"

Michael looked up from his computer to Bushtit standing beside his desk. His gaze shifted to the small cardboard parcel in her hands.

"That came for Amon today."

Bushtit frowned as she inspected the package. "Hmm. It's from an anime video store. Do you think it would be wrong of me to open it?"

"Yes," Michael replied without missing a beat.

The young witch glared at the hacker typing furiously at the computer before returning her attention to the box. Curious, she began to vigorously shake the box causing Michael to jerk his head upward in surprise.

"Hey, don't do that!" he yelled.

"It sounds like a DVD," she remarked, ignoring the irate look Michael sent her way.

"That's hardly surprising. It did come from an anime store."

Bushtit was thinking hard for a suitable retort when Woodcock and Doujima returned from a hunt. The gothic sister stormed over to where Bushtit stood.

"Why are you bothering him?" Woodcock demanded as she rudely shoved the girl away from the desk she shared with Michael.

"I'm not!" she angrily shot back. "I just wondered who had received this package."

At that very moment, Amon, Robin and Dickcissel returned from their hunt as well. Amon froze as he caught sight of the box still within Bushtit's grasp. Goddamn it, not again. His mind continued to curse as he strode over and snatched away the package. Before anyone could question him on his even more rude than normal behaviour, Amon turned on his heel and left the office.

"What was that about?" Sakaki asked in a bewildered tone.

"Hmm. It must be related to that video he received," Bushtit speculated.

"What kind do you think it is?" Doujima wondered.

"We really should get back to work," Karasuma chided.

"It could be porno," Woodcock mused as she ignored the veteran hunter.

"That does seem likely judging by Amon's reaction," Sakaki agreed.

Both Robin and Dickcissel looked horrified at this suggestion.

"I…I don't think that Amon would be into that…sort of thing," Robin managed to stammer.

"Oh, come on," Doujima rolled her eyes. "He's a guy. That's what guys are into."

"Maybe Amon just doesn't want us to know he watches anime," Dickcissel quietly suggested.

This time everyone except Robin rolled their respective eyes.

"Grandma, I thought this story was about a bunch of freaky clones."

"If you wish to find out what becomes of the clones, you'll have to sit through this interlude."

Amon stood in the detention center on the ground floor of Raven's flat still holding the box. He closed his eyes and willed his body to calm. It didn't work much since Amon was furious. He had instructed the anime store on several occasions not to send shipments to his place of work. The other times this had happened, Amon had managed to intercept the packages before anyone discovered them. Apparently, his luck had run out.

Amon's eyes drifted back to the package. It had been so close -- he had almost been found out. Amon didn't know what he would have done if the other STN-J members had discovered this particular side of him. In fact, it was one of his deepest inner secrets. Not even Nagira or Touko knew anything of the matter and they were perhaps the closest individuals to him. It went without saying that Robin had no clue either.

Gently, Amon peeled off the packing tape and opened the box. Inside lay four boxed sets of perfectly shrink-wrapped DVDs. He had waited a year and a half for his most favorite anime series to be released in a special anniversary edition. Amon again wondered what on earth would he have done if the others had discovered his secret. Humiliating didn't even begin to describe the situation. He might actually have to resort to disposing his comrades. Come to think of it, he did know of a sparsely populated region nearby that he might be able to get rid of multiple bodies. Of course. It was so obvious now. Amon could lure his teammates to his preplanned spot and take care of them there. Well, everyone except Robin. There was no way he could ever harm Robin, and who knew? She most likely would accept his bizarre taste in anime without question.

Amon suddenly realized that he had methodically plotted exactly how to murder his comrades over a few DVDs. He shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind. Amon closed up the box and headed back towards the STN-J office. On his way, he slunk into the deserted male locker room and ungracefully shoved the package into the back of his locker. Amon hurriedly left the room to return to the office. In his agitation, however, Amon failed to take notice of the figure lurking around the corner, watching him.

"Hey Bushtit, come here!" Sakaki whispered as he motioned to the clone.

"What is it?" she asked, a little to loudly for Sakaki's liking.

"Shh!" He clapped a hand over her mouth, cursing that she had to be so oblivious. "Where's Amon?"

"He went to lunch early today." Bushtit gave the young man a questioning look when his face lit up.

"Look what I found," he mischievously said before pulling out Amon's package from behind his back.

"Oh!" Bushtit exclaimed as her eyes sparkled.

"What are you two up to?" Michael asked as he strolled up to the two conferring hunters.

"He got a hold of Amon's package!" Bushtit practically shouted.

Sakaki grimaced. "You really shouldn't say things like that."

At Bushtit's words, Doujima rushed over. "Really?" she asked eagerly.

"Let's go into the conference room," Michael suggested. The hacker knew he really shouldn't be involved in such illicit activities, but he had to admit he was unusually intrigued by the situation.

All of the members of the STN-J filed into the briefing room, including Kosaka and Hattori. Even Karasuma shockingly joined in on the excitement. Karasuma had worked with the man for many years and yet knew practically nothing about his personal life. Well, she did know he had young taste in women, but besides that, very little else.

"Hey!" Sakaki yelped as Bushtit ripped the package from his hands.

She froze as she beheld the box's contents. The room grew deathly still in anticipation. Her expression suddenly changed from shock to one of pure delight. "Oh, I just love this series!"

Bushtit held up one of the boxed sets. The cover read: 100th Anniversary of the Greatest Anime of the 20th Century. Below that, read Marmalade Boy: Volume One.

"He got the whole set!"

"Whaaat?" Sakaki and Doujima exclaimed in unison.

"See, I told you it wasn't porno," Robin remarked triumphantly. She always had faith in her man.

"Amon likes Marmalade Boy?" Karasuma asked, thoroughly bewildered by this turn of events. Maybe it was just Robin's young influence rubbing off on him. Maybe. But not likely.

"No wonder he didn't want us to find this out," Kosaka muttered at Hattori. "I'd be so humiliated.

Amon unluckily picked that exact moment to return from his early lunch. He froze in horror as his eyes landed on the boxed set in Bushtit's hands. His mind raced as he frantically thought of a way to deny his obsession with Marmalade Boy.

"Uh, that's…that was, uh, a mistake the video store made."

"Oh really?" Doujima asked, obviously unconvinced.

Amon sinkingly realized that no one in the room believed his story. He forcefully squashed the idea struggling to reemerge from his previous musings in the detention center that screamed for him to get rid of them.

"Yes. I had ordered Riveted Dreams (1), but they sent me that instead."

"So, why were you acting all funny when the package arrived?" Sakaki asked suspiciously.

"I…uh, try to keep my professional and personal life separate."

"If you don't want them, can I have the DVDs?" Bushtit asked, a hint of hope in her voice.

"No," Amon tersely replied. "Those videos were probably expensive. I'll need them for an exchange."

"Do you want me to take care of that for you?" Michael asked deviously.

Amon looked around the room knowing he was caught. Even though he understood this, part of him wouldn't let himself admit it to his comrades The only way to save face now was to let Michael work out the "misunderstanding." Amon attempted to look as dismissive as possible.

"Sure. That will save me a lot of hassle. Thanks."

The group watched as Amon nonchalantly exited the briefing room.

"Does anyone here actually buy that explanation for a second?" Michael asked. Everyone wordlessly shook their heads.

"Hey!" Doujima exclaimed as she leaned forward, an idea suddenly forming in her mind. "What if Amon watches other shoujo anime as well? Maybe he has a whole collection at his flat."

"Has anyone here ever been to Amon's apartment before?" Sakaki asked thoughtfully. Again, everyone shook their heads no.

"Amon doesn't have an address listed in the hunter profile database," Michael commented.

"Would you be able to track it down with your hacking skills?" Karasuma inquired.

"Miss Karasuma!" Kosaka roared, shocked at her behaviour.

"What?" she asked innocently. Karasuma, usually far more rule abiding, was so engrossed with the situation that it was quickly becoming an obsession.

"Aren't you interested, sir?" Hattori meekly asked.

"Well, actually I am," the boss admitted. "Fine. Go ahead with your search. Just don't tell me anything about how you did it."

"Sure," Michael nodded. "It shouldn't be a problem. I should be able to track the address by tomorrow morning. Let's meet here early tomorrow."

Everyone agreed.

"Well?" Bushtit asked impatiently. "Did you find anything about Amon's flat?"

Michael gave the young witch an annoyed glare before turning to face the STN-J members. Once again, they had assembled in the darkened briefing room. He noted that everyone breathlessly awaited his next words. Part of him was ecstatic that the hunters were once again acknowledging him.

"Just as I had thought, it was quite easy for a hacker of my caliber to track down the address to Amon's flat."

"You're great!" Doujima gushed. "We should do something for you sometime."

"Don't worry about," Woodcock began nonchalantly. "I've already given Michael his reward."

"Ugh!" Bushtit responded disgusted. "You didn't do anything at the office did you? Like on my desk?"

"What would you do if I told you we did?"

"Anyway," Michael broke in. "I found the address, now, what should we do?"

"We need to break in to his apartment while he's out," Sakaki responded seriously.

"Isn't this going a little too far?" Dickcissel meekly asked. She sighed when the others continued their discussion without a hint of acknowledgement.

"We'll need to distract him some way," Robin stated excitedly. She wasn't particularly interested in Amon's anime collection, but rather the thought of being in his flat. "Bushtit is good at distracting people."

"No way," she adamantly replied. "I want to see Amon's place too." Bushtit's face took on a dreamy quality as she continued. "I could see how he decorates his apartment, maybe lie on his bed, or even look through his dresser --"

"You're not going to go through Amon's personal belongings," Karasuma interjected. "We're just going to, uh, catch a glimpse of his personal life. And, I highly doubt that Amon has gone out of his way to decorate his flat."

Bushtit angrily folded her arms across her chest and looked away.

"I'm sure I could distract him easily enough," Woodcock volunteered. "Just tell me where and when."

"How about tonight after work?" Karasuma suggested.

When no one had any complaints, she continued. "We'll act as though we're going home and rendezvous back here at the office."

"Sounds good, Miho," Doujima agreed.

Unusually agitated by the recent circumstances relating to the DVDs, Amon didn't notice anything amiss when he arrived to the office that morning. Normally, he would have caught the furtive glances passed back and forth between his comrades or the fact that everyone - even Bushtit - was already at the office when he arrived. Today, however, Amon was oblivious to the world.

"Amon," Woodcock hesitantly approached the hunter. "I have an optometrist appointment and I was wondering if you would be able to take me today after work."

Amon looked distractedly up from his terminal. "Can't Doujima take you?"

"No. I've already asked around."

"Not even Karasuma?"

"I just said that I've already asked everyone," she responded impatiently. "Can you take me or not?"

Amon sighed as he looked at her. As usual, he wondered why Woodcock felt the need to disfigure herself with so many facial piercings. "When is the appointment?"

"We should be able to make it if we leave right after work ends."

"Fine. I'll take you."

The remainder of the day dragged by for what seemed like weeks to the hunters and lone hacker. As soon as the day ended, Woodcock rushed Amon out of Raven's Flat for her bogus optometrist appointment while the rest of the STN-J members pretended to leave just as they had planned earlier. Within ten minutes, they had reassembled in the briefing room.

"All right," Karasuma began, taking charge of the situation. "We don't have much time. To speed things up, we'll take two of the STN-J vans."

Everyone eagerly made their way to the garage, giddy with anticipation. Ten minutes later, the van pulled up to a rather ordinary, nondescript apartment complex. The vans circled around once before parking on a neighboring side street. The group futilely attempted to blend into the scenery as they made their way to the building - not an easy task considering most of them were covered in black slinking around in the late afternoon. Inside, they quickly swept through the lobby until they found the elevator.

"Anyone nervous?" Michael asked as he pressed the button for the fifth floor.

"Are you sure you have the right address?" Amon asked Woodcock annoyed.

"As I said before, this is the address the receptionist gave me."

Amon made another circle before concluding that the office was definitely not where it was supposed to be. "It's not here."

"Why don't I give the office a quick call?"

"Yes. Why don't you do that," he tersely responded.

Woodcock checked her watch as she pretended to dial a number in her mobile phone. Forty-five minutes had passed since she had dragged Amon from Raven's Flat. That should be more than enough time for the hunters to have accomplished their mission.

"No one's answering," Woodcock said with a frown.

Amon sighed in frustration. "What do you want to do then?"

"I guess you might as well take me home, then."

"Very well."

Amon turned the car around and proceeded towards Touko's flat. Once they had arrived, Woodcock gave a rare word of gratitude before leaving the vehicle. As she began to close the car door, an idea occurred to her. Mischievously, she leaned forward.

"Would you like to come up?"

Amon, absorbed in his reverie, jerked his head to look at the Robin clone. "Wh-what?"

"Would you like a little coffee, or perhaps some whiskey?" she asked slyly. "Maybe visit with Touko?"

"Um, no, that's all right," he managed to reply as he averted his eyes. He had no desire to be in an enclosed space with Robin, her clones, Touko or any possible combination of them at the moment. It was all just too confusing.

"Suit yourself," Woodcock said smiling knowingly.

The young witch watched as Amon pulled away from the curb before reaching into her coat for her phone. She frowned when she received a message from the carrier stating that the number was not available. Woodcock got the same message when she called Michael. In growing horror, she discovered that none of her coworkers' numbers were available. Her eyes widened suddenly as she realized why she couldn't contact anyone. Was it possible that Amon was the kind of man who tempested his home?

"I can't find anything!" Bushtit whined.

The group had diligently searched Amon's flat from one end to the other but proved unsuccessful to root out any more shoujo anime. It wasn't as if there was much to search through either since the apartment was unsurprisingly bare. As for the object of their search, there wasn't a single TV to behold, much less any DVDs. Karasuma sighed in defeat.

"Well, I don't have any other ideas for where Amon could hide his DVDs. I guess we'll have to give up now."

"No way!" Doujima countered. "He's just got to have a weird freaky DVD collection hidden around somewhere." She brightened suddenly. "Maybe he has some sort of secret room."

She looked perplexed as the rest of the group gave her a doubtful look. "What? We are talking about Amon."

At that moment, Bushtit sighed and leaned against a bookcase in the main room. The young witch let out a shriek as the bookcase clicked and swung inward suddenly. The others turned, freezing as they caught sight of the secret entryway.

"God, that is so stereotypical!" Michael exclaimed as he smacked his forward. "I would have expected something more creative from Amon."

The group curiously gathered around the entrance, trying to make out the contents of the dim room before Bushtit took the initiative and foolishly charged blindly inside. She didn't get very far before she stopped dead in her tracks.

"Oh. My. God."

"What is it?" Sakaki asked annoyed. "Can't you stop being all cryptic for once – oh, my."

Inside, was the greatest collection of shoujo anime ever amassed by a single individual in the history of mankind. Bookcase after bookcase stood filled floor to ceiling with various titles. A ginormous flat-screen, high definition plasma TV with full digital surround sound occupied an entire wall. Bushtit hesitantly moved forward to investigate the DVDs as the others began to look around.

But the collection of shoujo anime was not the only surprise the group discovered.

"Oh my hell!" Doujima exclaimed in girlish delight as she pointed towards a rather large shelving unit. "Amon's got the hugest collection of anime porno I have ever seen! See, I told you so!"

"Hey, are you two okay?" Michael asked worriedly.

Robin and Dickcissel collectively looked as though they would die from shock as they gazed in horror at Amon's extensive pornography collection. Neither had seriously expected to find such a thing in Amon's home.

"Hmm," Karasuma murmured as she examined the anime porno. "It seems that all of these titles feature a man roughly twenty-five years old getting it on with a fifteen year old girl."

Michael grinned wickedly while Robin turned bright red behind him. "That's hardly surprising, huh?"

"Nope, it's not," Doujima giddily agreed.

Behind her, Karasuma and Sakaki exchanged a look before both quickly swiped a porno DVD from the shelf and jammed it under their respective coats.

Alas, luck was still hiding her beautiful face from Amon when he predictably returned to his flat at that precise moment. Still pissed was he by the wild goose chase from earlier, Amon failed to see that his door was unlocked. His eyes widened as he finally noticed that not only was his secret room open, but also inhabited by his fellow STN-J comrades. For the first time in his life, Amon thought he would faint.

"Uh oh," Doujima whispered as the group spun around at the sound of Amon's entrance. "We're busted."

Anger quickly fell upon Amon and he purposefully strode towards the doorway of the secret room. "What. Are. You. Doing. In. My. Flat."

The group stood motionless, mouths agape, unable to do anything but stare at him from the shock of being caught. Amon's hands instinctively clenched as he fought the urge to whip out his orbo gun and open fire on every one of his treacherous comrades. Well, everyone except Robin, of course, who currently stared at a phantom spot upon the floor, unable to look Amon in the face.

"Wait," Sakaki blurted out suddenly, rather perplexed. "Wasn't Woodcock supposed to warn us when Amon came home?"

Amon's face, if possible, darkened even further. "Woodcock? She was in on this little field trip of yours as well?"

At that moment, said witch appeared breathless in Amon's apartment. "Goddamn, you drive fast!"

"Why didn't you call us!" Bushtit shouted at her sister, near panic.

"I did!" Woodcock protested. "How was I to know the son of a bitch freakin' tempests his goddamn home?"

"He does what?" Sakaki asked confused.

"Oh, I see," Michael nodded. "Tempesting is when one seals off a room from electronic emanations, usually by way of copper filled windows and such. Signals are unable to leave or enter the room. It's very expensive."

"Yes, it is," Amon spoke through clenched teeth.

"Um, Amon?" Bushtit said hesitantly. "Would it be okay if I borrowed Fruits Basket? I haven't been able to rent the last –"

"Bushtit?" Amon ominously began, still speaking through clenched teeth.

"Y-yes?" she replied, her sparkling green eyes widening in dread.

"Don't say another word!"

And, for once, Bushtit complied.

"A-Amon?" Karasuma said slowly, trying in vain to think of an excuse she could give her irate coworker.

Amon held up a hand in her direction, not bothering to look at her. "Get. Out. Of. My. Flat. Now."

The group wordlessly began to file out of the secret video room. Sakaki paused as he passed Amon. "Hey man, I'm sorry. We really had no idea about the, uh, porno collection," the last part furtively whispered behind a hand.

The dark hunter didn't bother to look at the young man. "I told you to leave."

Fear spreading over his face, Sakaki hurried from the room.

Only Robin was left standing inside the room, partially turned away from her partner. Though he was still furious, Amon found himself curious as to why she remained.

Robin waited until the others had completely left the flat before she spoke. "So, I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked softly, still fixated upon a spot on the floor.

Taken aback slightly, Amon hesitated a moment before replying. "Yes."

Robin glanced briefly at her partner and nodded before she silently made her way towards the door, lightly brushing against Amon as she exited. The young witch was greatly relieved to see that her comrades had already left the floor. There wasn't any way she could have hidden the abnormally wide smile upon her lips. She pushed the button to the elevator and leaned against the wall with her forehead on her arm, fighting hard to keep her emotions in check. Robin barely succeeded as she dived inside the elevator and launched into a near hysterical fit of laughter.

"I hope Robin will be okay," Karasuma remarked worriedly as she paced the lobby of the first floor to Amon's flat. "That was quite a shock for someone so innocent."

"Hey, the sooner she comes to terms with the real world, the better," Doujima intoned, barely glancing up from her magazine while she sat reading in a stained upholstered chair.

At that moment, the elevator doors opened to reveal a solemn Robin standing inside. Karasuma rushed over to her and wrapped a consoling arm around the frail girl's shoulders.

"Are you all right, Robin?"

Robin gave a weak smile to the older hunter. "Yes. I-I think I'll be fine."

Author's Notes:

(1) Riveted Dreams is some sort of shonen anime I made up for the story. If there is actually something named this, it is completely coincidental.

I would like to thank my husband for once being a signals analyst in the US Navy which thus resulted in the idea of Amon tempesting his home. I never would have known about such things any other way. :) Thanks hubby!

Also, my final note is for the story intimating that Marmalade Boy is the greatest anime of the twentieth century. This is obviously a joke. We all know that distinction goes to Super Milk Chan.