A/N: I know, it has been a while since my last update. But I have been kind of stuck on what to do. I am still not quite sure whether or not to make this a happy or sad ending. I am open to any suggestions, because frankly, I don't know what the hell I am going to do with this one! So, review!

Emily—

Disclaimer: ok, let us again go over the facts:
Nick STILL has that pesky shirt off (come on, take it off for crying out loud!) and Nick and Sara STILL have not hooked up (stupid bastards that write the story lines. I will kill them all! MWAHAHAHA!) And those aliens STILL haven't brought Elvis back (They will, he is alive I tell you… ALIVE!)

So basically, I own nothing. Nope, not me. Nah-ah

He came by today, and all of those feelings came flooding back. As I watched him play with the kids, I realized just how much I would miss him. It hit me, as I yelled at him, that I am going to be raising them alone. The thought terrifies me. I don't think I can be a single mother. Sure, Catherine does it, but I am not she. I pick up the phone, trying to decide whether or not to call her. I decide to.

"Hello?"

"Catherine, its Sara. I really need to talk to someone."

"Um, sure. I'll be right over." The concern in her voice is audible. True to her word, she is ringing the doorbell twenty minutes later. I open the door to reveal a confused Catherine. I never come asking for help, I have always prided myself on being independent.

"He came over." She nods, immediately knowing whom I am talking about. She understands.

"I know. Warrick called me. He saw him today." I look up at her.

"What? Where?" He said he was checking into a motel. He left that girl. Warrick talked to him.

"What did he say?"

"He wants you back. He's going to try. I thought I would warn you." I lean back, a tear leaking from my eye.

"God, why me? Why us? Couldn't we just live happily ever after?" I ask. Catherine just lets me cry-she knows there is not much she can do. She learned that the day we split. I was a mess for days. It was then she learned that the best thing she could do was take the kids and leave me alone.

The people at the lab have been great to me ever since I left Nick. Catherine-who I had not been getting along with-suddenly was just there for me. I guess it is because she knows what I am going through. Of course, her ex was a low life cheating druggy and Nick is, well, not.

"Why couldn't he just be a jerk? Someone unlovable?" I wonder.

"You still love him, don't you?" It is more of a statement then a question. I nod.

"I just can't stop loving him Catherine. I just cant." I never thought in a million years that I would be sitting here, my heart torn in two pieces. One half is telling me to let him go, to leave now while I still can. It says that I am better off without him. But the other part of my heart just wants to run back to him, let him wrap his arms around me and love me like he used to. Up until this point, I had always looked down on women who would go back to a man, even after being betrayed. I always thought your love for a man would automatically end when something like that happened. Now I see that this is not true. Because here I am, one of those women I used to scorn.

"How did you do it?" I ask out loud. Catherine looks at me.

"Come again?"

"How did you leave Eddy?" She winces. I know that this is a sore subject for her, but I need to know.

"It was hard. There were so many times I wanted to go back. I almost did, quite a few time." She finally answers after a long pause.

"Why didn't you?" She looks me in the eye.

"Because he didn't love me. I didn't love him. It never had worked." I meet her gaze.

"Should I go back to him? Is this right, what I am doing?" She knows exactly what I am talking about.

"Sara, I am not going to decide that for you. You have got to figure that out on your own." I nod. I am glad we have become friends. She really has been the only one who truly knows what I am going through since Nick and I split. We had a rocky start, and hit many rough patches throughout our working together. There was a time where I never thought I would be friends with Catherine Willows. Of course, that was also the time when I never thought I would end up falling in love with my best friend and end up married with children. Or more accurately, almost divorced.

I wonder if Nick is really going to try to get me back. What will he do? And will I be able to stay strong and not let him back in? Should I even try? I run my fingers through my hair and close my eyes. I need to figure things out.

"Catherine, do you think you could take the kids out to the amusement park tomorrow or something? I need to be alone for a while." She nods. I love my kids, but sometimes I just need time to myself. I need to sort out everything. What will I do when I have to work? Nick and I worked on different shifts, so one of us would usually be home. Now I will have to hire a babysitter, which I really cant afford.

Of course, first I have to figure out what to do about Nick. Do I let him back in? Or stand my ground. Time will only tell.

A/N: Well, I hope you liked that little filler chapter. Again, all suggestions are welcome. So, review!

Emily—