Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters therein...yet.

A/N: Oof! My muse hasn't let me stop writing for days! Snape, honey, I can't feel my hands!

Snape: Don't worry darling, if there's anything you need DONE I'm more than willing to help in any way!

Me: In that case, all of you get out! Go read the Chapter! oh and Enjoy!

Chapter 4: Dogma, Dreams and Departure

Severus sat in his room, with only a candle for light (which was going out). He'd drawn the black drapes against the sunlight and snuffed the fire. He enjoyed the chill which crept into his room as he mournfully pondered his fate for the day.

'Gods, they're making me go to New York of all places? What could possibly benefit me by going to America? Except developing an uneducated accent and an affinity for fried food of course.' Severus thought to himself as contempt crossed his face.

His eyes began roving his room. Even though it was impossible for him to decorate himself without his wand, he was begrudgingly pleased by the décor.

Despite himself Severus was impressed by Miss Granger's decorating skills. His room was decorated in black and green and silver, his three favorite colors. He had a big four poster bed with black velvet hangings. He had black cotton sheets and a black silk comforter with four green snakes intertwining on it. He had two walls of ebony book shelves, stocked fully, the other two walls were devoted to, respectively, a black marble fireplace and ebony armoire on one wall and a table and entertainment center under the long windows of the last.

Hermione had even supplied him with a cauldron and several movies. He examined them as he moved to his entertainment center. He saw few titles he recognized.

"Mesmer? Like the 19th century wizard?"

"Die Hard? What kind of title is that?" he pondered it again.

"Hermione's probably trying to tell me something." He thought with a sneer.

His eyes lighted upon the last few movies in the row and he was pleased to see titles very familiar to him. His love of classic literature had caused a great interest in muggle authors, classical ones, of course. He was pleased to see Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park and A Midsummer Nights Dream among the unfamiliar titles like old friends at a reunion.

As he scanned the next shelf, something caught his eye "Dogma" he read with contempt, he picked up the jewel case and was stunned into zero brain activity for a few moments. There among the other faces on the cover, was his own.

He read the back of the box with a incredulous look on his face. His brain had not yet fully comprehended what was happening. "So my twin is an Alan Rickman, eh? Lets see this with our own two eyes, Severus My Boy."

After a full ten minutes of commanding the "Devil Machine" to "Reveal it's secret!" he finally picked up the handwritten instructions left by Hermione and proceeded to be thoroughly embarrassed at himself as he started the movie. The very minute the credits finished his door burst open.

"Hello Severus, May I come in? Great, Thanks!" Katina fired off a sentence he couldn't comprehend it was said so fast and promptly took up the stance of an ancient Greek orator.

"Madam, just what do you think you're doing?" a furious Severus asked with barely suppressed anger.

"Chill out Sev! I just came by to inform you that we should be leaving in approximately twenty minutes!"

"Thank you, now get out!" he replied icily.

Katina responded by coming in and flopping down Indian style on his bed next to him.

"Whatcha watching?"

Snape, deciding there was nothing short of hexing her that he could do to get her to leave, replied, mumbling inaudibly.

"Sorry what was that?" she said as she grabbed the box from his hand.

"Oh goody, Dogma! This is one my favorites!" She leaned in conspiratorially "You know, there's a guy in this that could be your identical twin brother, want to see?"

Severus barely pulled off looking indifferent as he was insanely curious inside. "If you must."

She flipped to the scene in Bethany's bedroom (A/N: anyone who hasn't seen Dogma, skip this paragraph and may God have mercy on your souls.) as the Metatron appeared in a burst of flame. Katina drew her platform Mary Jane's onto the bed and as the baseball bat turned into a fish, she giggled and turned to Severus to see his reaction. He looked mildly pleased at the character snark and even smirked at the fish.

A realization dawned on Katina. 'Great shades of Elvis! Severus Snape looks exactly like ever-so-sexy Alan Rickman! I can't believe my luck, I'm living with a Alan look-a-like! Yay Me!'

While she pondered, Snape was doing some pondering of his own.

'I've got to admit, the attitude is almost spot on. But what the hell is a Ken Doll? It can't be much fun to be one. Speaking of which, when was the last time I had a mildly attractive young woman voluntarily come into my room?'

But just when they had both gotten their ponders on, they were cut off when Hermione waltzed in with a singsong "And it's off to the Big Apple!"

"SSHHHH!" Two voices came.

Hermione looked at them perched rather close together on Snape's bed and smirked "Am I interrupting something?"

Katina replied sarcastically "Yeah, our movie!"

"Ooh, what movie?" Hermione said as she sat down on the floor on front of the bed.

"Look for yourself!" came Katina's reply, along with a flying projectile DVD case.

Catching it Hermione exclaimed "Oh Dogma!" she hopped up from the floor and onto the other side of Katina, "Is this the fish scene?"

"Yes, now shut up!" Her cousin fired at her, after all it WAS her favorite scene!

Completely ignoring her cousin she addressed her former Potions Master. "Y'know Severus, for her entire adolescence Katina here was Madly, Truly and Deeply in love with Alan Rickman!"

Snape's head snapped around to look at the cousins with an incredulous eyebrow raised. "Really?"

Katina turned an unattractive shade of red-pink-purple and replied "NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!"

Hermione, in full taunting cousin mode, said gleefully "Yes, she used to moan in her sleep like this," she threw herself backwards onto the bed and clutched the bedspread to her, moaning, "Oh, Alan! Alan more!"

Katina jumped on her cousin and attacked her like a rabid weasel.

The fight lasted a few furious minutes before the girls lay on the bed, a tangle of limbs and hair, panting.

"Weren't we going somewhere?" Snape asked, desperate for them to leave his room a little bit intact.

"Wha? Oh Right! New York City!" Hermione jumped up and dragged her cousin with her.

"Come on Severus, New York ho!" Katina cried as she grabbed his hand and they apparated with a pop! and the familiar pulling behind their navels.