Author's Note: Goodness... my first Alice 19th story... actually, my first story in over two years! o.o -dies- I'm so nervous. I have a feeling this is going to suck. -laughs at self- My first story in two years and I'm writing a self-insert (well, sort of)! Okay, yes, I'll admit it, Clementine is based on me. I had to change her a little, though, because in some ways I am scarily like Alice. And it wouldn't be cool to have two characters who are so much alike.
But anyway... I hope you enjoy my first Alice 19th story, and cut me some slack... –sweatdrop- Getting back into the whole fanfiction thing is hard, man. Really hard.
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Disclaimer: I do not—in any way, shape, or form—own Alice 19th or the characters associated with Yu Watase's amazing manga. I am just using them for my own devices. –sweatdrop- I do, however, own Clementine, so no using her without permission. Not that anyone would want to use her, anyway. -big sweatdrop- Ah, never mind, no one reads these things anyway...
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Chapter I: Revelations
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"I can't breathe... oh, God, I can't breathe! Wh-what's wrong...? No... air..."
"Clem?! Clem, what's wrong?!"
"Clem, can you talk?"
"Someone call an ambulance!!"
"Oh my god, she's not breathing!"
"Can't feel... my legs... can't... see..."
"It'll be alright, Clem... it'll be alright..."
"I-I'm... dy... ing..."
---
"Has she woken up yet, nurse?"
"Not yet, Mrs. Greensley. But don't worry, she is safe from slipping into a coma."
"Oh, thank God..."
"I'm sure you were very worried. A severe asthma attack like that must have been frightening."
"Oh, yes... I wasn't even at the track when it happened..."
"Well, not to worry, we've taken good care of her."
"Glad to hear it."
"Ah, Mrs. Greensley, I'm glad you're here. I need to speak with you outside for a moment."
"Of course, doctor"
---
"Gah... bright light..."
Clementine opened her eyes—slowly adjusting to the glare of the hospital lights. Her hazel eyes lethargically scanned over the blank white walls of the room.
"What happened...?" she murmured, slightly disoriented.
"Ah, Miss Greensley! It's nice to see that you have awoken."
A young, raven-haired nurse strode into the room. She didn't seem to be much older than eighteen—not much older than Clementine herself—and wore a smile that seemed to be plastered on her face; fake and un-assuring.
"Is there something I can get you? Some water?"
Clem shook her head. "No. I'm fine."
"Well, if you're sure. Call me if you need anything."
The nurse exited the room with haste, seeming to not be able to leave fast enough for her liking.
"She seemed preoccupied... her boyfriend's probably here, or something..."
Releasing a deep sigh, Clementine leaned her head back against the stiff, starchy pillows and closed her eyes tiredly. The events of the previous day came flooding back into her mind like a tidal wave.
(flashback)
"Hey, Clem, keep up the pace!"
"I'm trying!!" Clementine seemed to smile and scowl at the same time. "I must just be having an off day today."
Coach Grady performed his famous half-smile-half-smirk. "Well, everyone's aloud one of those every once in a while. Just do your best."
"Right, Grady. Thanks."
Clem always loved that about Grady. He was very tough, but knew when the kids couldn't push themselves anymore; he knew when to be strict, and he also knew when to cut some slack. And slack was just what Clem needed.
Carefully positioning herself, Clem comfortably settled her feet in the starting blocks. Starting was her biggest weakness, and she desperately needed some practice before the State meet that was coming up.
She sprang off the blocks with dexterity—yet still with hesitation. Sighing to herself, she positioned her feet on the blocks and crouched. Her eyes widened suddenly, and she fell to her knees.
"Grady!" she gasped out in a raspy voice. "There's something wrong!"
Soon there was a crowd of people surrounding her. The whole track team was beside themselves—whispering and speaking in loud, distressed voices.
"What's wrong, Coach Grady? Is Clem alright?"
"Should we get some help?"
"Calm down, people, calm down." Grady knelt next to Clem. "Clem, can you hear me? What's wrong?"
"I... can't breathe... my chest..."
"Okay, Clem, just calm down and breathe. Try breathing in through your nose."
She tried, but the method only resulted in a violent fit of coughing, making Clem lose even more air. More people—including concerned parents—joined the crowd.
"Clem?! Clem, what's wrong?!"
"Clem, can you talk?"
"Someone call an ambulance!!"
"Oh my god, she's not breathing!"
"It'll be alright, Clem... it'll be alright..."
And then all was black.
(end flashback)
Clementine shot straight up in her bed, hazel eyes wide. "I... almost died..."
"Clem? Clementine?"
"Mom?"
"Oh, thank goodness!" Mrs. Greensley embraced Clem tightly. "I'm so glad you're awake..."
"Mom... what happened? Why am I in the hospital? What happened to me at track?"
Mrs. Greensley pulled away and smiled—her green eyes meeting Clem's hazel ones reassuringly. "Honey, you had an asthma attack."
Clem raised a slender eyebrow. "But, mom, we both know I don't have asthma. How could I have an asthma attack?"
Mrs. Greensley shrugged slightly. "I'm not sure, dear, but that's what the doctor has diagnosed it as."
"So... how long do I have to stay here?"
"The doctor said that you can go home tomorrow. They just want to keep you for the day to make sure you don't have some sort of strange relapse. And they're going to prescribe some medication for you."
"Right..." Clem yawned. "Wow, I'm really tired all of the sudden..."
"Alright, dear, I can take a hint." Mrs. Greensley stooped down to kiss her daughter on the forehead, then smiled as she straightened. "I'll come back later."
Clementine smiled wearily. "Thanks, mom. See ya." Closing her eyes, she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
---
-Nine months later-
Clementine sat on her bed, staring blankly at the wall—her rusty-red hair falling over her shoulders in disarray. A lone tear began to stream down her cheek, but she lifted a pale hand and wiped it away hastily. Much to her displeasure, more tears followed, and she couldn't control it anymore. Burying her face in her pillow, she let the tears loose and soon the sobs were racking her body uncontrollably—followed by a violent coughing fit.
She searched frantically for her inhaler—desperate to stop the ragging coughs. To her relief, it was right next to her bed. She breathed the aerosol in slowly, and let the air out through her nose. Soon her breathing was returned to normal, and she leaned against the wall wearily. Suddenly seized by a surge of anger, she forcefully threw her inhaler against the wall.
"I hate it... I hate everything... I can't run anymore... I can't sing anymore... I can't even cry anymore! This cursed asthma ruins everything!!"
Panicked by the threat of another attack, Clem calmed herself down. Although physically calm, her heart still flowed with hatred.
"I hate life... I hate living... I wish it would just go away..."
"Then come..."
Startled, Clementine jumped to her feet and hastily looked around her room. "Wh-who's there?"
"Come into the darkness..."
Wide-eyed, Clem threw open her closet door. "Where are you?!"
"The darkness welcomes you..."
Panicking, she headed for the door; only to be stopped by a swirling eddy of black and purple that seemed to swallow up her door right in front of her. A figure with long, white hair who was all dressed in black extended its bony hand to her.
"If you are hurting, you will love it here. I assure you."
The asthma seized Clem and she fell to the ground, trembling and gasping for breath. Shakily, she reached for her inhaler, but the wisps of black were enveloping her.
"Do not fight it. It will swallow you whole."
Giving up, Clementine collapsed and curled up into a ball, squeezing her eyes shut. "Go... go away... leave me alone..."
"Now, now, child... do not be angry with me..." The figure smiled, but there was something unnatural and menacing in its smile. "I seek to alleviate your pain."
The darkness was surrounding her. She could barely see glimpses of light. "I suppose... I don't... stand a chance..." Closing her eyes, she felt her body relax as she began to slip into unconsciousness.
"RAJE!!"
There was a loud voice, and the darkness started to dissipate.
"JIVA!"
Clementine gasped as her lungs involuntarily expanded and filled with air. Half-raising herself up, she could see a young man through the mixture of darkness and light. Looking up, she saw the bony figure above her. She saw she was entangled in many threads of darkness that seemed to be woven by it.
"DANA!"
The figure hissed as water washed towards it. Clem let out a small shriek. As the water washed over them, she watched the threads start to dissipate. Soon, however, they were replenished two-fold.
The figured cackled. "Fool... you cannot defeat me with such pettishness... this girl does not wish to be saved."
The young man's emerald green eyes widened as he turned them on Clem. Clem felt burned under his scrutinizing gaze.
"Th-that's not true!! It's not!"
The figure laughed again. "Child, you were the one who called me here. It was the Mara within your own heart that brought me forth."
Clementine's eyes widened as she watched the figure prepare to engulf her completely. "NO!! Let me go! Let me go, now!" She struggled against the smothering darkness—seemingly to no avail. "Let... me... GO!"
There was suddenly a burst of light, and the figure disappeared. Clementine collapsed to her knees, supporting herself by her hands, breathing heavily. Lifting her right wrist, she noticed that a rope bracelet with a single red stone hung from it.
"That's the figure for Buimuku—release. So you are a Lotis Master, after all."
Clem looked up at the young man. He was tall—a good head or two taller than her, and she wasn't short. His eyes were bright green and sparkled with a kind of good-nature—yet she was sure there was some arrogance hiding in there. His hair was short—except for a braid in the front—and almost platinum blonde. He wore a single jeweled earring that seemed to be glowing unnaturally.
"Who... are you?"
"Frey Weilhausen, Lotis Master, at your service," he responded smoothly with an exaggerated bow.
Clem stared at him incredulously. "What's your game?"
Frey pretended to be offended. "Game? Young lady, I just saved your humanity, and this is the thanks I get?"
"Saved my... humanity? What, are you with some kind of cult or something? And what was the black thing?" Not waiting for an answer, she continued. "I must be dreaming. If I am, this is kind of cool. This can't be real, so I might as well enjoy it while it lasts."
"Miss Clementine Greensley, this is not a dream."
Clementine stopped short and stared at Frey for a long time. "You knew my name. There's no way you could know my name in real life. This is a dream."
Frey's emerald eyes adapted a hard and serious demeanor. "Clementine, I am speaking the truth. You have encountered a very powerful Mara because of the darkness within your own heart. If you had given in, you would know for sure that you're not dreaming."
"Whatever. I know that this can't be true. It can't! It defies all the laws of... well... everything! It's some strange dream my disturbed mind has concocted from my insecurities. Or so my doctor would say..."
Frey sighed deeply. "I wish I could convince you otherwise... you leave me no choice..." Raising his hand towards Clementine, he shouted, "PAASA!"
---
"Ung..." Clementine sat up slowly, holding her hand to her head. She looked around her room. "Wha...?"
Standing up, she searched her whole room for any sign of Frey or of what had happened. "It was a dream..." She smiled, feeling secure again. "It was just a dream. I have nothing to worry about."
Feeling a bit happier—or at least more sure of her sanity—she skipped down the stairs to find something to do. Something to distract her from the disturbing thoughts.
"Mom, can I go over to Chenelle's?" A voice floated up the stairs and Clementine stopped dead in her tracks.
"Sure, honey, go ahead."
Clem's eyes widened. "I... I'm an only child... that voice... it was mine..."
Rushing down the stairs as fast as her legs could carry her, she rushed into the kitchen. "Mom! Mom, what's going on?!"
Mrs. Greensley was cooking, and when Clem spoke, she didn't react at all. Clem frowned.
"Mom, why are you ignoring me??"
There was still no response. Frustrated, Clementine walked over to tap her mother on the shoulder. Much to her shock, her hand passed right through her mothers shoulder as if she were a ghost. Hazel eyes wide, she tried touching other things, but the same thing happened every time.
Turning—panicked—she raced out of the house and down the street. Up ahead, she saw herself walking along aimlessly. Swallowing hard, she decided to follow herself—something she had never imagined, even in her wildest dreams, of doing. After a while, she concluded that the Her she was following wasn't planning on going to Chenelle's house after all.
Rounding a corner of the street, a car raced down the street, almost hitting Her—while passing right through Clementine herself—and throwing mud all over the place. She watched herself force a smile as the teenage boys "apologized" (sarcastically, of course). As the boys drove away, she saw Her expression completely change—and tongues of darkness were emitted from her heart. Looking up, she saw the bony figure looming over Her head. Clem's mouth dropped open.
"That's... the same thing from my dream..."
A tear slipped down Her face, and She ran down the street to a little cove near the park. Pulling out a small book from under a rock, She leaned against the hard wall and started writing.
"Wait... I... I remember this... this isn't a dream... this is a memory..." Clem looked at her surroundings. "A year ago, after..." Clem's eyes filled up with tears as she trailed off, and she turned to see Her eyes filling up with tears as well, and Her face contorting into an angry expression.
As the pen She had bounced and jotted all over the pages in a fury, Clementine could hear the figure's voice laughing, taunting. Tears started streaming down her face in disbelief.
"It's always been there. My hatred... made it... I was destroying myself without even knowing it..." Leaning back against a willow tree, she held her head in her hands and whispered, "It wasn't a dream. He was right."
---
Her room suddenly materialized in front of Clementine, and she lifted her tear-stained face to see Frey standing in front of her with a compassionate expression gracing his normally cocky face.
"I'm sorry, Clementine... I wish I could have shown you another way..."
She shook her head violently. "No... no... I needed it... I never would have believed you otherwise..."
Gently placing his hands on her shoulders, he spoke quietly. "Come, we have much to discuss."
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Author's Note: Well, of course we all knew it was Frey from the beginning. I mean, who else is so totally awesome?! I'm sorry, but not even Kyo (my total favorite character) is as awesome as Frey. But he's still my favorite character. And he's mine. Alice and Mayura both can't have him.
Alice: -bursts into tears-
Author: -si-igh- Fine... so Kyo isn't mine. But I'd like to think so. Anyway, don't forget to review! I could definitely use some constructive criticism and ideas right now! Over two-year writer's block doesn't just disappear, you know. So feel free to state your opinions, hopes, and wildest ideas! I just might consider them as options! Sometimes you can get inspiration from the strangest ideas, so don't hold back on me.