A/N: Not much to say—except I LOVE MY JOLIE! Hehehehe—did we get a great week or what? Here's to more great weeks to follow, no matter how long it takes, they've got me hooked again. Until next time—did I mention I love Jolie?—PCGirl.
"Hey—you having lunch out here today?" asked John as he walked up to Natalie who was sitting on a bench in Angel Square eating by herself.
"It's a nice day," she shrugged—not letting him know she was still thinking about what Rex said. It'd been a week since he'd given the suggestion of just leaving town, and though when she called him on it the other day and he said he'd changed his mind, she couldn't give up the idea. She enjoyed her friends and family here, but she kept wondering what else was out there.
"Yeah, it is. Tell Rex when you see him that we finally got a lead on where the medical examiner went to. Hopefully when we talk to him he'll squeal."
"He'll be glad to know ya'll are actually doing something," she said with a slight grin.
"Is something wrong, Natalie?"
"It's nothing, just something I was thinking about."
"Yeah?" he asked, surprised she wasn't opening up more with him on whatever was bothering her.
"When Caitlyn died—did you ever think of just quitting the FBI and going somewhere completely away from everyone that knew you and starting over? I don't mean losing contact with your family—but just that it might be easier away from everything that reminded you of her."
He was taken aback by her words, he'd had the same feeling at that point in his life but never could take the step of walking away. Just as he began to speak his cell phone began to ring, "Hold on. Yeah—ok—yeah, I'm on my way."
"Was that the station?" she asked as he put his phone back in his pocket.
"I need to go—they're bringing the ME in. Listen Natalie—I know it's tough right now, missing Cristian, but it gets better. You'll find someone to be with again and make you miss him less."
"Yeah, I—I get that. I guess I was just hoping you'd give me an idea of how you felt at first—since we both lost Caitlyn and Cris so soon. I thought we were pretty similar John—in where we came from and what we've been through in our lives, but maybe I was wrong—maybe we're just two completely different people who just happen to have a few things in common.
"Can I ask you one more question? Did I help you move on from Caitlyn or did I just imagine all of that? Was it really Evangeline that got you to forget Caitlyn?"
"Natalie—."
"No, don't. I'm sorry I asked you a personal question—that's your business, not mine. I'll see you later," she said as she collected her lunch and then went off towards the diner to see Carlotta.
Natalie sat in the living room with the piece of paper in her hand and read the list again, "Houston, San Diego, Denver, Baltimore." Since John's brush off of her question earlier she'd been thinking more about leaving. She wanted somewhere bigger, where she'd be able to fit in, but still somehow fill like home.
She was surprised she'd thought of Denver—it was completely opposite of the rest—in the mountains and nowhere near the coast. She folded the paper up as she heard the front door and smiled at seeing her mom walk in, "Hi mom."
"Hey sweetie. You're home early," she said, giving Natalie a big hug.
"Yeah, I took off early from work—I had something I needed to think about."
"What is that?"
"Nothing," she said shaking her head—not ready to speak her idea out loud.
"Is everything ok?"
She stuck her thumbs in her belt loops and walked around the room a bit. "I was thinking of leaving Llanview—finding out what else is out there that I haven't seen yet."
Vicki sighed at seeing the confusion going through her daughter's mind right now, "I knew this day would come."
"Really? I didn't even know until yesterday—Rex brought up how we found and lost the people we loved here—that maybe it'd be better to go somewhere with no bad memories. Not that finding you and my family was bad."
"I know sweetheart, and I'm so blessed to have you come into my life. But I also know that you are different than Kevin and Jessie and Joey because I didn't get to see you grow up, and that you've seen and dealt with things in your short life that they didn't deal with. Not that they haven't had their own problems.
"Not so long ago, after that imposter went to jail, I had a fear creep inside of me that one day you might decide Llanview isn't where you want to live for the rest of your life. It took me awhile to accept it, but I knew I'd be ok with you leaving here."
"You are?"
"Yes, but only as long as you know one thing Natalie. This is always your home, and me and Clint and everyone else here are always your family. We'll miss you when you leave sweetie, but we will always always love you and wish you only the best."
"I don't think I can ever forget something that important, Mom," she said as she came and gave her a hug—realizing that the idea might soon be a reality.
John felt like an idiot—his response earlier sounded like something he once read in a sympathy card he was given after he'd lost Caitlyn. It wasn't the words of person that had been in Natalie's shoes, and in a way—he still was in her shoes. But not really—Natalie had no reason to mourn Cristian—he was alive, and the secret was eating away at him.
After interrogating the medical examiner he went out to go apologize to Natalie, but she was gone. He asked if anyone had seen her since lunch and a few told John that she'd called in and said she needed to take the rest of the day off. John wanted to go find her and apologize, but then a part of him realized he had no right to apologize until he told her everything he was sorry for—including Cris being alive.
"No. You can't leave, Natalie. I mean you've only been in our lives for a few years—why would you want to just get up and leave like that?" questioned Jessica as her and Kevin sat on one couch and Natalie and Viki sat on another.
"I'm not leaving your lives—it's just that I want to see what else is out there. Mom understands, right?" she asked as she looked to Viki for support.
"I do—and I support whatever decision you want sweetie. I think Jessica is just going to miss her sister is all," she said as she took Natalie's hand and squeezed it.
"I'm going to miss you too, Jess, but you can come visit me whenever you like. Maybe you can take a whole month off at the Banner this summer and just spend it with me. We can go sightseeing and just figure everything out ourselves. Ok?"
"Ok," she said with a slight smile.
"I told Rex and Roxy I wanted to meet them for dinner at Rodi's. Will you be here later, Jess? I want someone to help me do research on the cities I've thought up."
"Of course," said Jessica as she got up and walked over to Natalie and gave her a big hug. "I love you, sis."
"I love you too," she smiled as she gave Viki a kiss on the cheek and smiled over at Kevin before leaving.
"Kevin, darling, you were quiet when she told you her news. Is everything ok?"
"Yeah, I guess so. I just realized I haven't been that great of a big brother to her since she came back into our family and it made me wonder if I've lost my chance to be one now."
"She's still here, Kevin. It's never too late to show her."
"Hey baby doll—what's the hold up?" asked Roxy at the table.
"I was talking with Jess and Kevin. Sorry."
"Oh, I see how it is—you've got to tell your real family whatever this news is before the one that raised you."
"Stop playing hurt Roxy—I can tell when you're faking it."
"Fine. So what's the news? You and Johnny Mac finally score the big one?" she asked as she popped a few peanuts in her mouth and began to chomp down.
"No. Where's Rex? I want to tell you at the same time."
"He called and said something about Jen's killer being arrested and he wanted to be at the station when they brought him in."
"Oh my God, Roxy! Who was it?"
"How should I know? You're the one that works there, not me."
Natalie just grinned as she thought how she was actually going to miss Roxy's quirkiness, "I guess I'll find him and tell him later. Roxy—I'm moving."
"Good for you—too much stuffiness in that Mausoleum Viki calls home."
"It's not that bad, and I meant I'm leaving Llanview. I want to find a new place to call home, new friends, a new life."
"You know—I remember when you did that before and you ended up here—I'm not following you again, besides—you think there's more family out there you don't know about?"
"No, I know right where my family is," she said as she put a hand to her heart—hopefully she could just get her heart to feel the same way when she did leave town.