Pleasant Surprises
Summary: "Well, Granger." Draco chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess we're married."
Author's Notes: I know there are many of these fanfics out, but none of them are that humorous (to me at least) So this fanfic'll be humorous. Uh. Yeah. Okay. I'm shutting up now.
Disclaimer: Here we go.. The following characters: Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, and any other characters I fail to mention belong to J.K. Rowling.
Pleasant Surprises
Chapter One
Pleasant Surprises
The sunlight filtered through the windows, the lights dancing upon Hermione's face. Now, normally Hermione would have been happy it was such a lovely day, but today was not a normal day. Hermione shut her eyes tighter, trying to block out the intense sunlight, "Bloody sunlight!" She hissed, rolling onto her side, clanking her forehead with something hard. "Ow!" She nearly shouted, her eyes fluttering open, she inwardly gasped. There was a guy, in her bed. Hermione shakily, peered under the blanket, yup, she was naked. Now, Hermione did what any girl would have done in this situation. She screamed. Loud.
Draco jolted awake, "Huh? Wha?" He babbled, sitting up ever so slowly, due to his killer headache. He slowly opened his eyes due to the intensity of the sun (bloody sun!) "Who the bloody hell is screaming!" He shouted, using his hand to shade his eyes from the sun.
Hermione let out another scream and jumped out of bed, her blanket wrapped around her. She picked up the clock and began to pelt things at Draco while screaming.
"What the-- Ow!" Draco shouted, being smacked in the forehead with a clock. "Granger? What the--Ow!" A lamp. "Would you bloody stop!" He shouted, his eyes widened because Hermione had picked up a chair and she was poised to throw it at him. "N-now, now, Granger, let's be reasonable adults."
Hermione lifted the chair over her head.
"Where the hell did she get this sudden burst of strength?" Draco pondered, but he was snapped out of his thought when Hermione let out a shriek which was similar to a banshee, "Gr-Gr-Granger, put the chair down." Draco chuckled nervously, jumping out of bed, the second blanket clutched around his waist.
Hermione let out a final shriek before chucking the chair at Draco.
Draco let out a girly squeal, watching the wooden chair come closer and closer to his face until..
SMACK!
Draco was flat on his back, completely knocked out. (It'd be a miracle if he'd live after a hit like that.)
After hearing Draco's girly squeal, Hermione snapped out of her "Hulk" mode. "Uh.. What?" She asked, glancing at Draco, who was currently knocked out on the floor. "Oh my God!" Hermione shrieked. Apparently, when Draco was knocked in the head with the chair he lost his grip on the blanket that was clutched around his waist, and it now revealed his.. "Ennervate!" She shrieked, her head turned away.
Draco awoke with a killer headache. "Oh bloody hell my head!" Draco cried, placing a hand to his forehead before standing.
Hermione turned her head and let out another scream, "Put some clothes on!" She shrieked, covering her eyes.
Draco cocked his eyebrow, "What the hell are you talk--" Draco glanced down, "Oh." He said. He securely wrapped the blanket around his waist before walking up to Hermione, who still had her hands over her eyes.
Hermione felt a hot breathe on her face, she parted her fingers slightly and peered through them.
Draco smirked, "What's wrong Granger." He breathed.
"N-n-n-nothing!" Hermione stuttered, her face bright red.
This just made Draco's smirk grow even bigger, "Then open your eyes." He whispered into her ear, huskily. He placed his calloused hand over hers (Thanks to Quidditch) and pried them away from her face. He frowned, her eyes were still closed. "Don't be afraid," he whispered. "I won't bite."
Hermione hesitantly opened her eyes and blushed at the sight before her. Draco Malfoy was half-naked in front of her. His well toned, bare, muscular chest. (Hermione's face turned redder at this)
Draco smirked when he saw Hermione blushed. "What's wrong, Granger? Never seen a half-naked man before?" He lulled, leaning in closer to her, his lips millimeters from hers.
All Hermione had to do was just pucker her lips and they'd be kissing. Hermione panicked. She shut her eyes tightly, and wrenched her hand free.
SMACK!
Draco stumbled back surprise, his hand flying up to his now, red face. "Y-y-you slapped me!" He spluttered.
Hermione came back to her senses, "Why yes, Malfoy. I believe that I did slap you." She hissed.
Draco's pressed his lips into a thin line before grinning mischievously. He began to walk towards Hermione.
Hermione gasped, she began stepping backwards. "W-w-what are you doing?" She asked shakily, her thigh rubbing up against the bed.
Draco's grin widened. He cornered Hermione against the bed, she began to lean backwards, and he began to lean fore wards. He kept on leaning fore wards until Hermione fell onto the bed ("Oof!" She squeaked) Draco's seeker like reflexes shot out and grabbed Hermione's wrists, pinning them above her head. Unfortunately, for Hermione whilst Draco pinned her arms above her head, her chest rose higher, causing the towel around her small frame, to loosen up and fall down slightly. Draco grinned, "Ooh." He cooed.
"S-s-stop that you, pervert!" She shrieked. Wiggling, trying to get her towel up more, but unfortunately that made it fall down more.
Draco smirked, "Why, Granger!" he exclaimed, "Trying to entertain me, are you?" He lulled, bending down towards her ear, his lips grazing the tip. "Well, don't stop." He said huskily.
Hermione shivered, a small sensation going up her spine. She let out a squeak.
Draco smirked, "Did Hermione Granger just squeak?" Draco chuckled, lowering his face to hers, his lips dangerously close to hers.
Hermione felt his hot breathe on her neck, she blushed. "N-n-no." She squeaked.
Draco frowned, "No, what?"
"K-k-kissing." She squeaked once again.
"Oh, you want to kiss?" Draco grinned.
"N-n--" She stuttered, but stopped because Draco crushed his lips with hers.
Flooding memories came rushing back towards them..
Hermione let out a drunken giggle while clutching onto a drunken Draco.
"Oi. Wanna get marrieeeed?" Draco slurred.
Hermione giggled, "Tee hee. Suuuuuree." She let out another drunken giggle.
The drunken couple staggered to a nearby wedding chapel. (How convenient!) Draco bursts through the doors like a drunken mad man. (Well.. he WAS drunk, but not a mad man) "WE'RE 'ONNA GIT MARIEEEED!" Draco slurred, staggering up to the minister. "Oi. we wanna get marieeeeed." He said.
"All right, then. Do you have any galleons?" The minister asked.
"Yes." Draco hiccuped, slamming a handful of galleons.
The minister gasped, "T-t-this is 2,500 galleons! More than enough!" The minister chuckled. (Hey, might as well take advantage of a rich, drunk man) "All right then. Come this way, will you?" He asked.
Hermione clung onto Draco, "Yaaaay." She squealed, letting out another drunken giggle.
After the wedding ceremony, Draco and Hermione stumbled to a nearby hotel (How convenient!) and staggered to their new room.
Draco was struggling with getting the key into the door.
Hermione gigled, "'Urrrrrry." She slurred.
Draco hiccuped. "I'm tryiiiiiin'." He slurred. Finally after what seems like hours, he opened the door.
Hermione giggled, "Yaaaaay."
Draco smirked, he grabbed Hermione and threw her softly onto the bed, he pounced onto her, landing gracefully on top of her. "Mine." He mumbled, into her neck before ripping off her clothes.
Hermione let out a gasp, and pushed Draco off of her. She hastily looked at her hand, and let out another gasp. There, on her hand was the most exquisite, expensive diamond ring she has ever seen.
"Well, Granger." Draco chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess we're married."
End
Author's Notes: This was kind of fun to write. I enjoyed writing the scene where Hermione chucked stuff at Draco, and I loved Draco's girly squeal. Made me laugh my arse off. Tee hee. I hope you like this! Feel free to ask me any questions.